Another Rainy Day in Nerima
by rewind gone nuts
Summary: A rainy day brings Ranma into possession of a strange mirror. But, instead of faces, its face gazes into his past to show him the present that might have been...
1. Prelude

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form. Nor do I own the concept of Wandering Shops, which are an old story convention finally codified and named by Terry Pratchett, author of the famous Discworld series._

**Author's Notes:** though I can't do anything for A Different Route Taken with my co-author off-line, I can still write, and finally managed to channel sufficient creativity to create this, which is hopefully the foundation for a new "series".

Prologue: Zygyg's Mirror  
It was now three days since the disaster of the Reversal Jewel affair, and Ranma Saotome was finally being allowed to leave Nerima General Hospital under his own power. The doctors had been reluctant -well, more disbelieving that anyone could heal so fast- but when their tests had proved that Ranma's bones were all fused, bruises had faded and various other injuries had cured themselves, they had given up and let him go.

Ranma passed through the doors, paused to pop several joints, and took a look around. As he'd expected, there wasn't anyone here- neither fiancée nor rival. Even if the latter would have been there just to try and ambush him while he was still off-balance from the time he'd spent healing, it would have been nice to have someone there. He sighed softly.

'Geez, guess they're all still mad about that stupid Reversal Jewel. Why are they blaming me though? It was Shampoo's fault! And Nabiki's too.'

A casual observer to the whole mess would have pointed out that Ranma was the one who had deliberately tried to win Shampoo's love and affection back when he thought she had dumped him, courtesy of that stupid love-to-hate brooch she'd been wearing. Ranma would have retorted that he hadn't actually cared at all at first, that he'd only started trying after Nabiki had used it as a point to mock his masculinity. The Reversal Jewel affair had taken place barely a week after Ranma had finally met his mother- and found out she planned to have him commit seppuku if he wasn't suitably manly. And having a girl who used to literally throw herself at his feet suddenly switch to hating Ranma's guts was not a sign of manliness, as Nabiki had pointed out. His ego, which was delicate at the best of times, had been wounded by her barb, inciting it to join forces with the fear of having to commit seppuku and forcing him to try and win Shampoo back. And hadn't _that_ turned into a disaster.

All of a sudden, Ranma didn't feel like heading straight back to the Tendos. They were probably still steamed at him anyway- nobody that Ranma knew could hold a grudge like Akane. Well, except maybe Mousse. Ryoga too, though the eternally lost boy seemed to be cooling down, albeit grudgingly. He supposed Kuno could count as well, but Ranma didn't consider Kuno worthy of anything. Shaking his head to clear the distractions from his mind, Ranma set off into town- he didn't have any real money on him, but at the very least he could take a look around and kill some time. Maybe even put on an impromptu show, like he and his dad used to, so he could score some money and head to the closest arcade.

Of course, things went sour. Ranma had been looking around for maybe ten minutes before the sky grew dark with ominous clouds, a crack of thunder echoing across the streets. Ranma looked sourly up at the clouds, the first few drops of rain already starting to fall, and repressed the urge to curse. He didn't particularly want to be a girl at this moment, so he slipped into the nearest shop to hopefully wait out the rain.

A bell tinkled musically as he passed through the door of "Honest Abe's Wandering Shop", and three thoughts struck Ranma's mind near simultaneously. Firstly, Abe wasn't a Japanese name. Second, why was this place called a wandering shop when it was quite obviously as fixed to the ground as its neighbors? And third, what did this guy actually sell? Even just inside the door, Ranma could see all sorts of junk and bric-a-brac. Here, an umbrella stand housed an upside-down electric guitar, several swords, and a couple of staves. There, videos and books -which themselves ranged from thick, arcane-looking tomes to manga volumes- were stacked atop each other. As he took in the disarray, the shopkeeper –for who else could he be- popped into view behind a counter.

"Welcome to Honest Abe's! Oh! As I live and breathe, if it isn't Ranma Saotome- this is an honor!"

"…You know me?" Ranma asked, confusion and a trace of suspicion coloring his words. Honest Abe, a gaijin -American, if Ranma had to guess- of maybe mid-20's with blonde hair and brown eyes, chuckled softly before answering.

"Anyone in the mystical world who's heard of Nerima knows you, Ranma Saotome. You're infamous. And before you ask, yes, I am a wizard– otherwise I wouldn't own a wandering shop. They call me Honest Abe because I got zapped with a rather nasty curse in my youth, and haven't been able to tell a lie since then."

Ranma didn't know how to respond to that, and simply stood there mutely, the sound of the rain gushing down outside covering what would have otherwise been an awkward silence. After a few minutes, Honest Abe spoke again.

"So, anything in particular you're looking for? Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to tell you to leave."

"What! Aw, come on, it's pouring outside!" Ranma protested.

Abe shook his head. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't do it if I had a choice, but my 'teacher' put a geas on me. I can't let you stay unless you're either going to buy something or have bought something."

Ranma dug into his pockets and shook his head. "All I got is 128 yen."

"Not enough. I'm sorry, but do I look like a hash'rid?"

"Hash'rid?" Ranma asked.

"A particular type of Wandering Shop owner- sells you stuff for the exact amount of cash you have on you, but it's usually cursed and almost always turns out to be more trouble than it's worth. They need to vanish quite a lot, as you'd expect." Seeing Ranma's downcast look, Abe looked thoughtful. "Well, there is one option…"

"What?"

"I'll let you have a whirl at the magic item lottery for that amount. It means you're stuck with whatever artifact it comes up with, but it'll satisfy this damn geas and let me let you stay here until the rain blows over."

Ranma wasn't particularly eager to actually buy a magic item- every time he ran into something like that, it always ended up the worse for him. Even though he'd only bought something outright magical once, that being the powdered Jusenkyo Spring water, it was apparent to him that Ranma + Magic Item Trouble. Still, the only other option was going out in the pouring rain, and so Ranma walked over to the counter and dropped the coins onto it with a metallic clatter. Abe snatched them up in a show of speed that impressed even Ranma, and then turned over to the far right of the counter, where he flicked a hidden switch and made a part of the wall open, revealing a lever and a single roulette. At Abe's nod, Ranma pulled on the lever, sending the images swirling around and around before it finally came to a stop, displaying something that looked vaguely like a mirror as a chime rang.

"So what'd I win?" Ranma asked, curious despite himself. Abe ducked behind the counter and returned bearing a hand-mirror, which he held out for Ranma. Ranma picked it up, his thoughts drifting back to Cologne and her Nanban Mirror, which let the user travel anywhere in space and time by shedding a tear on its surface. This mirror was different; in shape it was stylized after a heart, and it was made of some strange, ink-black material, with rosy-pink pearls studded in it here and there. The glass itself was darkened and gave no reflection, unlike the Nanban Mirror that functioned perfectly well as a mundane item.

"That, my good sir, is nothing less than the Heartborne Eye of Zygyg." Abe declared proudly.

"The _what_?" Ranma asked in disbelief.

Abe shifted his shoulders, cleared his throat and adopted a general 'storyteller's' tone of voice as he began to explain.

"Long ago and far away, there lived a young wizard named Zygyg, a man gifted with natural prowess in the arts of arcana. He was devoted to mastering magic, a devotion near to obsession, and had little time for the outside world- but the outside world had time for him. Several maidens knew Zygyg, and all had sworn to make him their husband."

Ranma had a sudden weird feeling of déjà vu.

"This, naturally, confused Zygyg, whose study of magic had left him with little time or inclination to study the ways of relationships. Yet, at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to drive them away- his power and his reputation meant that those who didn't fear him were envious of his power, and thusly the girls were the closest things he had to human companionship."

Now this was starting to sound way too familiar to be comfortable.

"Thus, he forced himself to tolerate them, despite their belief that the best way to win him was to defeat all of the other girls in combat, which lead to much trouble for him. What made matters worse was that several of the girls had men who desired them for themselves, and thus they sought to defeat Zygyg in order to try and win the girls for themselves. Though they never succeeded, they refused to surrender, just as the maidens refused to relinquish their desires to obtain Zygyg's hand in marriage."

Ranma had never believed in past lives before, but this was just getting creepy.

"For an untold time, Zygyg tolerated this state of affairs, unable to choose any one maiden, but finally even his patience wore thin. He gathered all of the maidens and told them that, on the morrow, he would announce his choice. All went home happily, believing that the next day would see them declared the victor in their long-fought war. When they arrived the next day, however, they found an empty spot where Zygyg's tower had once stood, naught remaining but a single stone, upon which was inscribed a message. As Zygyg had been unable to make a choice, he had chosen to never make a choice, using his magic to remove himself to a world far beyond the one where the maidens dwelled, leaving them behind to get on with their lives."

"Yeah, yeah, but what does that have to do with this?" Ranma asked impatiently.

Abe ignored him and continued. "Though his powers waxed mightily in his isolation, his mind became tormented by dreams and ghost-visions of might have beens and what ifs, until finally he found himself compelled to delve into chronomancy, the magic of time, that he could salve these wounds upon his soul. He began using his newfound obsession to peer into his own past, to see the way things might have been had he chosen a girl rather than choosing eternal loneliness. But, he became obsessed with the infinite permutations and refinements of his art…"

Abe trailed off, seeing he was plainly losing Ranma. He sighed heavily and decided to summarize as best he could. "He started experimenting with time magic and enchanting items, and that mirror is one of his creations. Basically, by bringing into mind a relationship-orientated moment, that mirror can show you what could have happened had it gone a different way than it actually did."

"Like…?"

"Well… you're engaged to Akane, right?" Abe asked.

Ranma grunted an affirmative, surprisingly still ticked off at Akane, despite his normal habit of not holding grudges- or at least getting over them in the span of one to three hours. Then again, it wasn't every day he ended up in the hospital courtesy of Akane.

Abe ignored Ranma's surliness and continued with his example. "Well, by concentrating on this event, you could see what might have happened had you chosen one of her sisters, or decided to tell them all where they could shove it and walked out."

Ranma either didn't know how to respond to that or simply chose not to. Abe took no offence and simply watched as Ranma eyed his new possession again. His first instinct was that this was useless to him, at least the Nanban Mirror could have let him travel back to Jusenkyo, but then his memory piped up, reminding him of the tangled web of romantic engagements he had and the myriad events that could be tied to them. Normally, Ranma wasn't one to dwell on the past (and a casual observer might have commented that that seemed to be why he always seemed to repeat the same mistakes), but for once he was in an introspective mood.

Abe, easily seeing Ranma's interest had been piqued, gestured towards a part of the shop. "There's a seat over there, and if you get bored with the mirror, there's some books there as well, so you can wait out the rain. The books are mostly harmless, but watch out for Carnivorous Tomes."

"What?" Ranma asked, nonplussed.

"You'll tell them easily enough; they have leather casings and a human face with teeth in the eyes, nostrils and mouth stretched over the front cover. Touch one and you'll be stuck inside it until I release you." Abe answered smoothly.

Ranma's eyes widened, but he said nothing, acting as though this news hadn't been startling and heading over towards the indicated seat. Taking a careful look to see that one of the aforementioned man-eating books wasn't in a position where he was likely to brush against it by accident, he sat down and began studying the mirror. As he looked into its darkened glass, his mind began to try and work out the possibilities he might try and explore.

The first option that came to mind was, not surprisingly, Shampoo. Of all his fiancées- check that, of all the girls chasing him, Shampoo had tried the most to worm her way into his heart, irregardless of his opinions on the matter. The most obvious possibility for her was, naturally, what if he had managed to say those three words at the Cat Café? What if he had told her "I love you" in an attempt to snap her out of the Reversal Jewel's effects (not that he had known it was a setup at the time)? There were a lot of others too, when he started thinking about them. One of the most obvious was the possibility that she had figured out he was lying to her about his curse, way back after he'd cured Akane of the Xi Fa Xiang Gao. There was also the possibility of having his curse revealed to her as being just that before he and his dad had fled her village back in China.

Ranma snorted at that trail of thought- like he really needed a magic mirror to know what would have happened then; he and Genma would never have left Joketsuzoku. Or… would they? Genma could be pretty sneaky, when he needed to be. The question was, could he possibly be sneakier than Shampoo or Cologne?

Cologne… there were times when Ranma couldn't help but shiver when he thought about the three-hundred-year-old Amazon. When he'd first won the Phoenix Pill from her on Snow Mountain, he'd been too ecstatic over regaining his manhood to think about it too much, but later, after seeing some more of Cologne in action, he'd come to realize that Cologne way outclassed him in terms of fighting ability- not that he would have admitted it, or allowed that to stop him from challenging her if he thought it was necessary. Still, he was grateful on a subconscious level at least that he'd never had cause to actually challenge her since that battle- he wasn't too sure he could beat her even now that he had the Hiryu Shoten Ha and the Moko Takabisha under his belt.

He couldn't help but wonder; why had she let him win on Snow Mountain? It was obvious that she could have beaten him, even with the nekoken, but she had declared him the victor and given him the Phoenix Pill that would restore him to his proper gender. Since then, she had never tried to ensnare him- oh, sure, she was undoubtedly involved in that business with the hypnotic mushroom, and Ranma was sure she had something to do with that weird red thread (the last thing he remembered was Shampoo tying it to his finger, and when he came to he'd been at the altar of a church in a tuxedo- with Shampoo standing beside him in a wedding dress), but she'd never actually gotten herself involved in any attempts to make him marry Shampoo. Even with the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion, which would have been a perfect opportunity. He had no doubts that she could have beaten Ukyo and his dad (Akane wouldn't have even been a speed bump) with ease and then hauled him back to China, and the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion would have rendered him the perfect breeding stud- all of his vitality, but too weak to try and escape. Or to keep Shampoo out of the wedding bed.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder; why the sudden change in plans? Why had she only fought with him until that particular point in their battle on Snow Mountain, and then stopped challenging him all together? He couldn't help but wonder- as well as wonder what might have happened had he lost that particular battle.

Then again, maybe it had been some kind of test… or maybe she was testing her great-granddaughter, trying to see if she could win Ranma on her own. Of all the girls, Shampoo had managed to get the most out of him. Why, she was the only girl Ranma had actually had a date with. If you could call the brief time they'd spent together before his conscience had forced him back to the Tendos to handle the Dojo Destroyer a date. Ranma sometimes wondered what might have happened if that date had gone a bit differently- maybe if he'd thought to ask her to reschedule it for after his fight…

Ranma shook his head; he was dwelling way too much on Shampoo, especially given that he ought to still be mad at her. What about the other girls? …What about the other girls, come to think of it. There were surprisingly fewer things he could think of for the other girls who either sought or had been bound closer to his heart. In the latter category, he could stack Nabiki- that scheming witch had always been a pain, but those tricks of hers during the brief period of time they'd been _engaged_… Ranma had never thought he'd be happy that Akane was his official Tendo fiancée before.

He couldn't help but wonder now, while his mind was on the topic, what might have happened had he managed to foil her machinations- if he'd kissed her like she asked on the rooftop, or if he'd managed to actually catch her in the maze. He still wondered from time to time that he hadn't stuck his foot in his mouth and blurted out to Akane that he'd actually been lying in wait for Nabiki when he'd grabbed her. Or that one of his other fiancées hadn't just happened to come along at just the right moment.

Speaking of moments, there were moments when he wished he'd known ahead of time that his options for a first kiss were either Kodachi or Mikado. The Kuno girl might have been the scariest thing he saw on a regular basis, and she had the bad point of being blood-related to the only two people in Nerima who were even crazier than she was, but at least she was a girl. Ranma would rather have kissed a cute, if completely screwy, girl than have been kissed by a disgusting, lecherous pretty-boy. And besides, one little kiss that early in his life wouldn't have really affected things that much, right? Not like getting pushed out of the ring by that stream of water during the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics match would have done.

Thinking of contest-related changes brought to mind his first battle with Mousse, and he couldn't help but laugh at the idea that came to mind. What if Mousse had, against all odds, managed to win somehow and Akane had made good with her pre-battle declaration to Ranma and beaten the Amazon boy up? Ranma didn't think that the whole Kiss of Marriage law applied to Mousse, but what if it had? He would have been stuck with the violent tomboy not just by his bargain with Ranma, but also by his own laws, which meant he would have had to actually marry Akane rather than simply prevent Ranma from being with her anymore.

With these and other ideas now swirling around his memory, Ranma plucked one at random and began staring at the mirror in his hands. As he watched, the smoked glass rippled and pulsed like a surface of water into which a drop had just fallen, and images began to form in its depths. Not just images either, for as Ranma watched he found himself immersed in absorbing the events that might have been…

_Okay, and that's the introduction done. Oh, and before anyone asks, Zygyg isn't Ranma in a past life, or any relation to Ranma at all. The original concept had Honest Abe mentioning that Zygyg vanished mysteriously and he's believed to have become so obsessed with his chronomancy that he became a sort of time-wraith or temporal lich. This is basically the backstory to the various oneshots that will be posted under this story when I get around to writing them. In essence, each oneshot is a separate "vision" being examined in the magical mirror, so there is no continuity with each other apart from this 'backstory'. Though it's likely obvious, the mutual theme of these oneshots is "romantic what ifs"- how might the status quo have been altered had a canon event gone a different way?_

_The problem is, there are so many possibilities that I'm spoiled for choice for which one to tackle first. And that's where you readers come in: below is a list of 'moments' that I have managed to work out. When/if you review, please tell me which one of these moments you would prefer to see me write. The one that earns the most reviews will be the first one written and posted, after which I will ask you to repeat your "vote". Votes carry over, so a moment that gets five votes in this chapter, three in the next and one in the third will count as having a total of nine votes. If you have your own ideas for moments, then please suggest them by review or PM- I only ask you remain aware of these two facts._

_Firstly, I work with the anime- so if the moment didn't happen there, I can't use it. I'd like to try my hand at something like "what if Ukyo was the one who gave Ranma her picture before he went to face the Phoenix Tribe" or "what if Ranma had put the Flower of Womanhood in Akane's hair and thus been stuck facing Pink & Link with only Shampoo at his side", but as I don't know the manga, I can't. Secondly, I'm only interested in Ranma/Non-Akane Girl or Akane/Non-Ranma Guy matchups. So no Ranma/Akane, Ranma/Ryoga, Ranma-chan/Mousse, or anything like that, okay?_

_Moments List:  
__Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel  
__Ranma lost his first fight with Mousse and Akane made good on her promise to "beat him up herself"  
__Cologne chose to beat Ranma at Snow Mountain  
__Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode  
__Kodachi managed to kiss Ranma before Akane butted in  
__Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second  
__Akane's hose pushed Ranma out of the ring in his battle with Kodachi  
__Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo  
__Ranma kissed Nabiki when she challenged him to do so during her stint as his fiancée  
__Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer  
__Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China  
__Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki  
__When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face  
__During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do  
__Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108__th__ time_


	2. Planting the Seeds

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** technically, it was a tie between this and "Ranma kissed Nabiki when she challenged him to" as to which to do first. However, as several have pointed out, there are already a number of fics out there using both it and the other Nabiki centered "plotseed" I came up with, so I decided to let them both lie to the side for now and focus on the others. Apologies for the delay, but I've been out of town and my beta has had problems of his own.

Chapter 1: Planting the Seeds of a Rosy Relationship

Akane climbed onto the roof, fuming with the anger simmering inside her. Just minutes ago, she had been attacked in her own room by some lunatic calling herself "The Black Rose", apparently the girl she had to fight at the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics competition in a week. And had her so-called fiancé helped her? No- he'd rather chase her poor little pet P-chan around the room! The stupid jerk hadn't even noticed she was in danger! And then that cackling freak had scattered a cloud of black rose petals in Akane's room before vanishing out of the window, too chicken to stay and fight fair when it was obvious Akane was winning. While she had been cleaning up the mess the maniac had left behind, she'd heard something suspicious on the rooftop, which was why she had climbed up here to investigate. She stopped and stared mutely in disbelief at what she found. There was Kodachi… and Ranma… and the two were about to- oh kami, they wouldn't!

They did. She watched, horrified, as Kodachi pressed her lips to those of Akane's fiancé. Check that, EX-fiancé; if he thought she was just going to sit idly by and let him cheat on her, he had another thing coming! Like magma from beneath a weakened segment of crust, fury burst forth from deep inside her, its burning vitriol infusing her veins and making her vision turn crimson.

"How DARE YOU!"

Kodachi was in heaven. At long last, she'd finally met the man of her dreams- who would have thought this night's ambush would have been so fruitful, even if that Akane girl had proven unnaturally capable? A quick burst of paralysis powder to ensure that he couldn't try and flee, a brief moment to better prepare herself for the ending of her colourless schoolgirl life, and at last she had moved onto that which she had thirsted for… her first kiss…

His lips were soft and warm, a sensation dimly familiar and yet unlike anything she had known before in her life, she idly noted. Before she could analyse it further –or better still, focus on kissing him some more- she heard, dully, a thunderous sound from nearby, though her attention was focused on far more important things. And then she felt a tremendous blow impact into her side, the brutal sensation of something vaguely wedge-shaped driving into her abdomen below her ribcage and propelling her off of her beloved Ranma and into the air.

As she spiralled through the air, she managed to twist herself around that she could both see what had happened and land safely at the edge of the rooftop, though the action pained her bruised side. Where she had been straddling Ranma, Akane was now standing over him, shoulders hunched, fists clenched and face screwed up in an expression of deepest rage.

"Right over my bedroom, of all places! That's it Ranma! The engagement is off! You want that crazy girl, then you can go with her!"

Before Kodachi could voice her opinion of being called mad, the youngest Tendo had seized the still-paralysed Ranma by the ankles, heaved him off of the roof, spun in a full circle and hurled him through the air. Kodachi reacted immediately, with a swiftness that denied conscious thought, that denied even instinct. Her trusty ribbon slipped into her hand and lashed upwards and outwards, arcing through the air to twine about Ranma's waist, whereupon a sharp tug arrested Ranma's flight and brought him down into Kodachi's arms. She staggered slightly beneath his unanticipated weight, and then straightened. Taking a swift look at him, her gaze swept up to transfix Akane.

Slowly, deliberately, she smirked, then inhaled deeply and gave vent to a loud, deliberate laugh- Kodachi personally thought her laugh was distinguished and full of character, and had been quite offended when she'd found out that most others found it at least mildly disturbing. Still, it had its uses, and seeing Akane flinch at the sound was satisfying. With that, Kodachi turned and bounded away, Ranma still in her arms. Behind her, Akane watched them go with a sour look.

"And don't bother coming back!" she called after them.

Ranma's mind was awhirl as he tried to assimilate all that had just happened- that was still happening. Before he was still able to fully comprehend everything, Kodachi stopped leaping, gently bending down and moving him into a seating position on the roof, bending his unresponsive limbs to better suit. She kneeled before him, positioned as closely to him as she could get and looking him in the eyes. Ranma felt a chill run up his spine. Just what was she planning on doing to him, now that she had him at her mercy?

"Ranma-darling… I'm so sorry that harridan interrupted us. Shall we pick up where we left off?"

Ranma tried to respond, verbally, physically, any way possible! But the paralysis powder he'd inhaled still had him completely in its grip, and he was utterly immobilized.

Kodachi leaned forward, ready to give Ranma another kiss, but then stopped dead. Memories of titbits she had read of those magazines her underlings at St. Hebereke liked to read had surfaced, bringing her down a new train of thought. While that first kiss had been sweet, it had been strangely… unsatisfying. Perhaps if her darling Ranma was capable of actually responding, rather than simply sitting there like a warm, soft doll…? Yes… that sounded like an idea. But how to give him the antidote? Then, another memory surfaced and she smiled- that held particular promise… Leaning back, she dug out a small vial of antidote, which she opened and then took a small draught from. She then leaned forward and kissed Ranma again.

Ranma couldn't help but wonder what that fluid Kodachi had just drunk was, but then she was kissing him again and he was too distracted to care much. Especially when the tip of Kodachi's tongue slipped between her lips and probed gently but insistently at his own, forcing its way between them and bringing with it a soft, velvety moistness that trickled down Ranma's throat through the makeshift funnel of their lips. In its wake came sensation, muscles and nerves flaring into life and allowing him to move again- and also to feel what Kodachi was doing, rather than being dimly aware of the pressure. Ranma had never been kissed like this before- in fact; he didn't think he'd ever been kissed, unless you counted that kiss on the cheek that crazy Chinese girl had given him. It was so soft… so warm… and he could taste her too, a sort of sugared spice with a hint of roses. Despite the fact of how he'd gotten into this situation, he couldn't help but note how… _good_ it felt.

And, just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Kodachi broke off the kiss and straightened up, wobbling slightly before she managed to catch her balance, a glaze to her eyes and a broad and rather silly grin plastered on her face. Ranma wasn't one to comment, his own expression the blankness of one whose mind had vanished. Hey, he was a teenage boy who'd just been given a rather passionate kiss- more so, he was a teenage boy who had never had any real interaction with women until he moved into the Tendo home and who had never had any romantic interaction even then. Kodachi shook her head, regaining her senses, and smiled down at Ranma.

"Au revoir, Ranma darling. Until we meet again."

With an ecstatic peal of her 'unique' laughter splitting the still night air, Kodachi bounded away. Only one who knew her intimately -a category that consisted of absolutely no one- would have recognized an extra 'spring' to her step as she raced through streets and rooftops with equal abandon, her mind filled with a chaotic whirl of thoughts. Far behind her, Ranma finally managed to snap back to reality, slowly rising up and staring absently in the direction she had vanished in. Unthinkingly, he touched his lips before murmuring to himself.

"What… was that all about?"

He didn't even know the girl- he'd interrupted her assault on Furinkan High's small group of Martial Arts Gymnasts in his girl form, whereupon she'd attacked him, and then he'd saved her after accidentally knocking her out with a kettle while chasing "P-Chan". On a normal day, Ranma would have gone off the mental track there, cursing Ryoga for going along with such a vulgar charade and taking advantage of Akane, and cursing Akane as well for being too stubborn, angry and thick-headed to let Ranma try and explain the truth about her pet. This was not a normal day. Ranma just couldn't get what had just happened out of his mind. He couldn't understand it in the least, but he still couldn't get it out of his mind. Finally, he decided to simply head back to the Tendos and go back to his room and get some sleep- not trying too hard to remember about Akane's declaration or to think about the trouble that would be waiting for him there.

And trouble there was the next day, when Ranma's "indiscretion" came out at the dinner table. His father and Akane's accused and berated him, while the youth tried desperately to persuade them that Kodachi had paralysed him after he'd saved her and kissed him without his permission. He still wasn't sure if he'd actually succeeded –probably not, given the way things had been ever since he and Genma had come to Nerima- but at least they finally stopped shouting and let him grab his lunch and race to school. He was going to be late again, and he fumed at the unfairness of it as Akane, who had slipped out quietly while he was getting yelled at, came into his sight. Pushing himself harder allowed him to finally catch up to her, whereupon the youngest Tendo made a disgruntled, dismissive snort, stuck her nose in the air and started running faster.

"Wait up! Akane!" He shouted.

"Go away, you stupid pervert! Go back to Kodachi- you obviously like them tall, leggy and completely mad!" Akane shouted back over her shoulder. Before Ranma could spit his own rebuttal to that, he noticed something- projectiles of some sort, inbound on Akane. Instinctively he dove forward, grabbing Akane around the waist and thrusting her from the danger zone as the projectiles –a trio of gymnast clubs- drilled into the ground. Akane groaned as her muscles protested the sudden shock, then realised that A: she was on the ground and B: Ranma's arm was still around her waist. She promptly slapped him across the face as hard as she could.

"Keep your hands off me, you perverted jerk!"

As the two glared at each other, having risen to their feet, Ranma naturally opened his mouth to give Akane a piece of his mind, only for a familiar female voice to suddenly interrupt him.

"Vile harpy! Bad enough that you insult my darling Ranma, worse still that you dare to sully the name of Kodachi Kuno, but to strike my beloved after he saved you from my most righteous wrath? Akane Tendo, prepare to die for your outrages!"

The two looked up, and sure enough the Black Rose was plummeting through the air with a massive mallet in her hands. They sprang to the sides as she slammed it home, driving a small crater into the concrete, then pulled it free and advanced on Akane, swinging it viciously and with every apparent intention of driving it home into Akane's skull. Until Ranma sprang on her from behind, his hands shooting past her shoulders to seize onto her arms and wrists.

"That's enough Kodachi! Stop it!"

And, as simple as that, she did, the hammer slipping from suddenly boneless fingers to slam into the ground. Ranma instinctively tightened his grip, expecting her to start struggling, but she didn't. If anything, she did the exact opposite, practically melting into his grip and pressing herself closer to his body.

"Why, Ranma darling… I never knew you were into such things…"

Ranma promptly let her go like she was red hot and darted backwards, Kodachi turning to face him with a rather disappointed expression on her face.

"Why so shy, my love? I am yours, in all ways and in all things…"

"Now cut that out!" Ranma yelped. "I don't even know you!" He paused a second as something suddenly penetrated his attention. "Wait a minute- did you just call yourself Kodachi **Kuno**?"

"Why, yes. My elder brother goes to Furinkan High School- maybe you know him? His name is Tatewaki."

Ranma boggled in disbelief; this girl, the girl who'd given him his first ever kiss, the girl who had just tried to defend him against Akane -true, her methods needed more than a little work, but she had been taking his side in things- was Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno's younger sister? He quickly pushed that down into the recesses of his mind- it wasn't important now. What was important was trying to get out of this situation.

"Look, anyway, you can't say that sorta stuff! We don't know each other!"

Kodachi looked hurt deeply, tears beginning to trickle from eyes that, nevertheless, smouldered with a core of anger. "So that moment we shared last night… that meant nothing to you?"

"No! I mean, Yes! I mean!" Ranma stuttered, caught completely off balance. His father had never given him any advice for dealing with this sort of situation, and while Ranma was far from a model of civility, he still had his own rough code of conduct, which meant that he couldn't stand to see a girl -even this one- cry.

"I mean- I, I mean… I'm engaged!" he finally shouted.

That worked- Kodachi's head promptly snapped up from where she had buried it in her hands, the last of her tears quickly drying as her eyes bored into Ranma's like gimlets.

"I tried to tell ya last night." Ranma continued, not liking the look in the girl's eye and desperate to try and placate her.

"You liar!" Akane snapped furiously.

"Butt out Akane!" Ranma instinctively snapped back.

Unnoticed by either of them, Kodachi blinked rapidly as that name began triggering memories. She vaguely recalled meeting her brother in the mansion earlier that week- he had been bruised from head to toe and ranting about someone who'd beaten him in a fight. A fight that had been provoked over the fact that the girl he was chasing, Akane Tendo, had gotten engaged to that mysterious stranger. Connections interlocked and fired and she smiled a sinister smile.

"Akane Tendo… is my darling Ranma your fiancé?"

"He was- but if you want the two-timing pervert, you can have him!" Akane snarled.

Kodachi laughed gently (by her standards). "Tempting as the offer is, I think it would be best to arrange something a bit more legal… tell me, what do you say to this idea? Whichever one of us wins the tournament tomorrow will be the one to get Ranma Saotome."

"What!?" Ranma yelped.

"It's a deal!" Akane barked.

Kodachi laughed again. "Then it is settled! Adieu, mon cher Ranma. Until tomorrow."

Before either of the two could react, Kodachi whirled to face Ranma, darted over and pecked him on the cheek and then sprang away, laughing with glee. Before either of the two could speak -Akane to harangue Ranma for daring to kiss Kodachi in front of her, Ranma to yell at Akane for treating him like some sort of trinket to be bartered- they made out the sound of Furinkan's bell ringing.

"Oh great, we'll be late for sure- this is all your fault Ranma!" Akane yelled in frustration, and then the two were racing desperately for Furinkan.

_In the real world (so to speak), Ranma watched his "other self" and wished he could fast forward the images in the mirror- he was pretty sure the next few 'scenes' wouldn't be much different to the way they had been in reality. Apparently in response to his thoughts, the images within the mirror began accelerating and, as he'd predicted, they didn't much change. There was a confrontation between Ranma and Akane in the dojo, Akane ended up tripping over a ball she had been practising with and spraining her ankle and Ranma was promptly drafted to replace her. He was actually tempted to let Kodachi win the tournament, as he and Akane were still fighting, but in the end his competitive nature and his dislike of her attempts at cheating prompted him to claim the victory, something that managed to soften Akane's anger considerably. Still, enough lingered that the two took separate routes back to the Tendo Dojo once the match was over, and it was here that Ranma resumed normal speed and watched to see what happened._

Ranma walked absently along the fences as the sun sank into the west, dying the sky a bloody red. As he neared a particular turn, he stopped and listened: he distinctly heard the sound of someone crying. A girl, from the sound of it. Curiosity piqued, he followed the sound to an empty playground- well, not quite empty. Kodachi Kuno was sitting on a swing, rocking gently to and fro and quite plainly weeping as though heartbroken. Despite himself, Ranma couldn't ignore the girl, and quietly walked up behind her.

"Uh… Kodachi?" he ventured cautiously.

Upon hearing him, Kodachi sprang for her perch and latched onto the startled Saotome boy, burying her face in his chest and, if anything, weeping even harder. "Oh, Ranma darling!"

Ranma rocked back on his heels in shock, but managed to recover and instinctively closed his arms around her in a comforting manner, unsure what he was doing or why, as this was yet another aspect of social interaction he was unfamiliar with. Not knowing what else to do, he simply stood there and let Kodachi cry on him, listening to her sobbing- which seemed to have the odd bit of dialogue mixed into it, mostly a babble of "I'm sorry". Gently as he could, he risked speaking to her.

"Uh… what are you sorry about?"

Not the most comforting of words, but Kodachi seemed to appreciate the intent with which they were given and, after several deep gulps of breath, managed to speak intelligibly.

"I-I-I lost the tournament! I'm sorry Ranma darling! I tried my hardest to win for you, but…" she broke off in fresh sobbing for another minute or so before she managed to calm herself back down. "That wicked Akane Tendo… she hurt herself before the match, so she substituted some spiteful redhaired girl! I bet she wasn't hurt, she just knew she couldn't match the Black Rose of St. Hebereke in a fair fight."

'If you can call the way you fought fair.' Ranma thought to himself, but he kept the words on his tongue. Hey, he might be bad at talking with others, but that didn't mean he was **completely** stupid! Unaware of Ranma's mental commentary, Kodachi sniffled and continued.

"I- I tried everything, every trick I had, every move, every attack… but she was just too much for me. She and Akane Tendo must have made a devil's bargain before the match; if she won for Akane, she'd get Ranma for herself. It's not like Akane wanted him, she just wanted to spite me but not giving him up!"

Fresh tears welled in her eyes and she sniffled again before finally losing the battle and burying her face in Ranma's chest again.

"It's not fair! Everyone leaves me! First mother, then father, now you!" The words 'fair' and 'you' were drawn out and elongated, virtual howls of grief and anguish. Despite himself, despite the fact he'd seen first hand just what sort of dirty business the girl was capable of, Ranma couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She seemed even lonelier than he was- even he had his father, useless great lump that he was. But from the sound of things, Kodachi had nobody. It touched a chord buried somewhere deep in Ranma's own heart, and he suddenly found himself saying things he never dreamed he would have said.

"I'm still here, y'know. I'm not gonna leave."

That caught Kodachi's attention. Wiping her eyes, she stared at him in disbelief. "But, Akane Tendo…"

"Ain't the boss of me." Ranma said firmly, primarily because it was true- and the fact that she and the others in the Tendo household evidently thought otherwise was one of those things that rankled him most since he'd first come here. "But we ain't been properly introduced. I'm Ranma Saotome… d'you wanna be friends?"

Kodachi looked at him, eyes shining with emotions he couldn't identify, then smiled softly. "I'd like that…"

In the real world, Ranma managed -after some fiddling- to set the mirror to 'skip' to the most important developments of this timeline. He could watch this in more detail some other time- now that he'd seen how things had gotten started, he wanted to see some milestones before moving onto the next possibility. As he watched, he saw a friendship -awkward, complex and oft teetering on the brink of ruin- begin to grow and bloom. As he knew her, Kodachi was a sly, sneaky, bad-tempered and oft-nasty girl with little in the way of morals and prone to insane behaviour. True, he wasn't exactly a moral pillar of society himself, but still at least he wasn't quite so dangerous to others.

In the timeline he saw in the mirror, however, Kodachi began to shed such behaviours and mannerisms that drove him mad (or sent icy fingers racing up and down his spine) and a more… well, likeable girl began to emerge from beneath. In a vicious cycle, Akane grew more and more jealous as Ranma and Kodachi became more and more friendly, her tantrums and behaviour serving to further push Ranma into Kodachi's arms, eventually to the point where Ranma got kicked out of the Tendo Dojo and without hesitation moved into the Kuno estate. To the real Ranma's surprise, Genma didn't protest at all- in fact, he actually eased off of complaining as Ranma and Kodachi got together, and when Soun made his final declaration, he left his former friend's household without so much as a word of complaint. Ranma wondered if that meant that maybe there were some traces of decent father material buried in Genma after all.

Or maybe he just decided that the filthy-rich Kunos made for better in-laws than the dirt-poor Tendos.

That wasn't to say things were all wine and roses- when it finally came out that Ranma and "the pigtailed girl" were one and the same, it looked like the relationship would collapse. Somehow though, they managed to get back together- and Kodachi offered to let Ranma use her money to fund a trip to Jusenkyo to get himself cured. He refused it, partially due to the chaos that resulted when the other Jusenkyo-cursed demanded their 'piece of the pie'. They learned about each other, encouraged each other and generally supported each other, something that Ranma hadn't experienced from any of the girls in his timeline. When the mirror decided that one notable event was the first time Ranma and Kodachi became… 'intimate'… Ranma quickly deactivated the mirror, satisfied with what he'd seen.

With that timeline explored, and the rain still pouring down outside, Ranma decided to examine another one. Once more he stared into the mirror, into which images began to swirl…

_Okay, and that's the first oneshot done. As mentioned before, please read and review- and when you review, leave a vote for the seed -or seeds- you would like me to tackle next. It's perfectly fine to vote for the same seed in multiple chapters; reviews asking for it indicate interest, and interest is what spurs me to write my heart out. To see what seeds are available, check the endnotes of the very first chapter of this story. If you have more seeds, which need to be based on the anime canon, then please submit them via review or PM- remember, I'm asking for moments/events that could have gone differently and affected Ranma's relationship with one (or more) girls other than Akane. As things currently stand, the next seeds to sprout are, in order: Ranma loses to Mousse and Akane kicks Mousse's butt, Ranma loses at Snow Mountain, Ranma-chan got pushed out of the ring during her fight with Kodachi/Shampoo and Ranma won the hotsprings race at Zekkyo, and Maomolin's plan to turn Shampoo into a cat worked/Ranma said "I love you" to Shampoo during the Reversal Jewel/Ukyo managed to talk with Ranma during the Girly-Girl Gambit. So please, review and let me know what things you want to see!_

_Here, by the way, are some new ideas that have been submitted/developed; consider these an addition to the list in the prologue.  
__-Kodachi sneaks back to the Tendo house that first night and finds the still-paralyzed Ranma abandoned on the roof.  
-Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos".  
-Nabiki never found out about Ranma's revenge plan and went on the date he asked her on instead of sending Akane.  
-When Shampoo & Ukyo are fighting over the enchanted Ranma during the Love Bandage fiasco ("Ranma the Lady-Killer"), Ranma tries to stop things by signing both of their marriage licenses while they're distracted._

_On a final note, if people express interest in a specific oneshot (primarily by making reviews/PMs on the subject), I'll consider "developing" it into a full-blown series, as I did with A Different Route Taken._


	3. From The Icy Jaws of Defeat

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima **

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** this oneshot took a while to pull out, but we hope you'll find it worth the wait. As always, please read and review- and especially make your choices for the next oneshot to tackle for this anthology. Don't be afraid to make suggestions for other possible oneshots either; even if I don't think an idea will work on its own, it doesn't mean that I mightn't find a use for it as part of a related oneshot (for example, what if Mousse had put the Reversal Jewel on Akane upside down?).

Chapter 2: From the Icy Jaws of Defeat

Cologne leapt high into the air, abandoning her ice sculpture of a full-grown grizzly as her potential son-in-law, currently in the body of a busty red-haired girl and acting like an extremely mad cat, clawed and slashed it into pieces. It took a moment for Cologne to realize the full extent of what that meant, but finally the pieces fell into place. Cat Fu! The boy had undergone the long-forbidden and false technique of the Nekoken? And survived with his sanity intact? Already she had been impressed by his skill, his fortitude, his determination and his incredible capacity for learning techniques, but this final bit of information was the clincher.

Originally, she had been skeptical, even hostile, to the idea of her great-granddaughter, the last surviving member of her family, marrying this foreigner, but as she had come to know him, she had softened towards the idea. Now, she was sure that he would make a fine husband for her and an excellent heir to her vast supply of knowledge- despite his youth, he had fought with a skill and intensity that was truly remarkable. For a moment, she considered allowing him to win, dodging aside and knocking him in the back of his head with her staff as he sprang at her.

Then she brushed the thought away; the best thing she could do for him would be to take him back to China with her and her great-granddaughter. Leaving a talented youth like this in the hands of two bumbling buffoons like his father and Soun Tendo, as well as the "mercies" of his Japanese so-called fiancée, was not an option. Dropping to the snow, she watched as Ranma sprang at her: she despised using such flashy techniques, but needs must when the devil drives- this would finish the fight.

Drawing in her aura, concentrating it within herself, with a single dramatic gesture she caused it to surge outward in an explosive display, the flare of spiritual energy catching the diving Ranma-chan and sending her tumbling, yowling piteously, through the air. It was possible she might have managed to right herself and land on her feet, had not a tree branch caught her in the back of the head with a sickening crack, arresting her flight and dropping her unconscious to the snow-covered earth. Cologne kept her expression an enigmatic mask, but inside the secrecy of her mind she cursed vigorously- that wasn't what she had intended.

"Ranma!" yelled Akane Tendo, rushing to the unconscious girl's side as, with a dismayed yowl, so did Shampoo. Cologne pogoed over to her descendant and manifested a kettle of hot water, with which she doused Shampoo in order to return her to human form. After a few wild seconds as she hastily dried and reclothed herself, Cologne turned to Soun & Genma with a malicious smile upon her face.

"The match is mine. I will be taking my son-in-law now. Unless either of you wishes to challenge me to a match…?"

Soun & Genma paled and shook their heads rapidly. Though she hadn't been expecting anything else, Cologne still felt a flicker of disgust. Squelching it, dismissing them as unimportant, she turned away.

"Shampoo, bring your husband and lets go. His injuries need attention."

She pogoed away as, behind her, Shampoo quickly and eagerly lifted Ranma-chan into her arms, being careful to avoid aggravating the boy-turned-girl's injuries and followed in the matriarch's wake. So focused on this was she that she didn't even so much as give Akane a glance. Or poke her tongue out at her.

Pain. That was the first thing that Ranma was aware of after his/her conscious mind returned to her, the all-encompassing terror of the Nekoken having finally faded. A very familiar sort of pain, too. The dull throbbing caused by a blow to the skull, which Ranma had become intimately familiar with since she'd moved to Nerima. She stirred slightly, wincing in pain, then slowly and carefully opened her eyes.

"Aiyah- great-grandmother! Ranma awake!"

Shampoo? What was she doing here? And Cologne? ...Oh no... she hadn't... had she? In one move she heaved herself upright, ignoring the stabs of pain that resulted as her abused flesh and bones protested, blinking rapidly to better let her eyes adjust themselves to the ambient light- though, to her pleasant surprise, wherever she was had been made dark enough that this was a less painful process than it might have otherwise been.

As she moved, she suddenly realised a number of subtle differences in her body, beyond the bruises she had attained in her duel. Primary among these was the absence of a pair of weights on her chest that she been forced to live with constantly for the last week.

"...I'm a guy again?" Ranma asked aloud.

"Indeed. We gave you the Phoenix Pill while you were asleep, son-in-law." Croaked a familiar voice. Ranma looked up from his examination of his newly restored masculinity to the other end of the bed, where the hunched form of none other than Cologne, Shampoo's 300-year-old great-grandmother, had perched while he was distracted.

"You did? Why?" Ranma asked, though he had a sinking feeling that he already knew the answer...

"Because there was no need for you to remain under the effects of the Full-Body Cat's Tongue any longer. Not now that you have finally accepted your marriage to Shampoo."

Ranma's eyes went wide as Shampoo, unnoticed before then, latched onto his side and began nuzzling him in delight.

"I never accepted nothing!" He roared, the volume and vehemence of it causing Shampoo to wince and relinquish her hold, while Cologne simply smirked smugly at him.

"Oh, so your word is worthless then?"

"What did you say!?" Ranma snapped indignantly. Ranma's word was just about the only thing of worth he had, so he took it quite seriously indeed.

"In case you have forgotten, you gave me your word that you would marry my Shampoo if you lost in our battle. And lost you have- so, by your own words, you and Shampoo are now husband and wife."

Ranma simply stared at her mutely, the sheer weight of his situation leaving him speechless as the full reality sank in. Shampoo began to sidle up to her new groom, but was stopped by Cologne's casual comment.

"Of course, the question now arises whether or not she deserves you..."

"What?!" Ranma gaped in disbelief, his exclamation of shock drowned out by Shampoo's own yelp of "Great-grandmother!"

"Don't you 'great-grandmother' me, young miss!" Cologne snapped angrily, her gimlet-like eyes stabbing into the blue-haired Amazon. "You persistently and deliberately interfered into circumstances arranged for your own benefit, working to sabotage them each time!"

Shampoo flinched back, which seemed only to encourage Cologne to even further heights of vitriolic rage. "As if that was bad enough, you deliberately went to the aid of an outsider against ME, your own great-grandmother, the woman who raised you, your sensei, your tribal elder! You were cursed at Jusenkyo for a far lesser crime than this! Do you know what punishments will befall you, should I reveal this to the tribe? Do you!?"

"Leave her alone!" Ranma shouted, glaring angrily at Cologne as the weeping Shampoo clung to him desperately. Cologne simply looked back at him, her rage vanishing to be replaced with an expression that was completely inscrutable, before she turned and hopped away on her stick. Ranma watched her go, seething, all anger at Shampoo forgotten. Shampoo sobbed loudly at that moment, reminding him where she was, and Ranma clumsily tried to offer her some comfort.

Outside of the bedroom currently housing the two teens, Cologne heaved an exhausted sigh, her expression changing to one of weariness. It had pained her to hurt her great-granddaughter so, but she knew that if Ranma hadn't been made aware of just what Shampoo had risked for his sake, he would have resented her for his loss to Cologne and their marriage was almost guaranteed to be one of pain and misery for the both of them. By taking up the role of 'the enemy', Cologne had focused Ranma's wrath on her alone, as well as triggering his own defensive instincts towards Shampoo. This way, their marriage would be much stronger, and Cologne knew that in time they would not only get over it, but thank her for her efforts. Still, lambasting her great-granddaughter like that had been a trying thing for her, and she dug into her pockets for her pipe, lighting it up and inhaling deeply. She looked up as she heard someone knocking at the door of the Nekohanten branch.

"I wonder who that could be?" She murmured to herself, bouncing off to answer the door. Surprisingly, it wasn't the front door, which led onto a small porch, but the back door from the kitchen, which led right outside. She was not surprised –or particularly happy- to see Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome standing outside in the snow. She pogoed out to meet them, rather than allowing them inside. The two men and the ancient woman stared at each other before Genma broke the silence.

"Give back my son, its time we headed back to the Tendo Dojo." He demanded.

Cologne wondered for a second if these two had taken heavy blows to the skull recently. It would certainly explain their behavior, both now and earlier that day. And if not, perhaps she should give them said blows... narrowing her eyes, as much to emphasize her words as to get off that train of thought, Cologne asked the simple question.

"What are you talking about?"

Both men stopped before Genma frowned and scoffed, "What do you mean what are we talking about? We're here to take back Ranma of course! He was obviously too weak to stand up to an old woman so I'm going to have to get him back into shape!"

Soun nodded, "Besides, he has a commitment to meet in marrying one of my daughters. So if you would be so kind as to get him for us, we'll be on our way."

"You are kidding, aren't you?" Cologne asked, though in her heart she feared that they truly were serious. "Ranma is Shampoo's husband, by his own words he is honor-bound to marry her. You two will just have to break that stupid engagement promise- besides which, neither he nor that daughter of yours seemed to particularly want it anyway. As for training, I can assure you that the training he will receive under me and the other Joketsuzoku elders will be far superior to anything that a city-dwelling dojo master can provide." She sneered mockingly at Soun as she said this, as her vast experience left her more than proficient to judge just how poor Soun's own fighting skills were.

Genma sputtered, "But that promise was made before Ranma was even born, it has precedence over whatever that stupid boy has promised you!"

"...Are you implying that your son's personal honor is of lower significance than your own?" Cologne asked idly, though there was a definite hint of menace underlying her words. "And speaking of which, isn't there the little matter of you trading Ranma away to another family during your training trip? While she may have renounced her engagement to him, did you not officially give him over to the Daikoku family, thus negating the previous engagement to the Tendos?" Cologne was privately thankful she'd managed to find that little fact out. It always paid to seek intelligence when in unfamiliar territory.

Genma fell silent, not quite sure how to respond to that while Soun spoke up then, "But what about that Kiss of Death law your people possess? I thought Ranma's female form was marked for death by your great-granddaughter?"

"As a Jusenkyo form is, by its very nature, not a person's true form, the only laws that apply are those that specifically apply to a person's true gender. In other words, Ranma is immune to any Kiss of Death issued by a Joketsuzoku woman- had he in fact revealed his true gender back in the village, he would not have been chased out of China. In fact, the two would have been married right then and there." Cologne answered smoothly, idly sliding down her stick until she was standing on her own two feet before asking her next question. "Why are you two so insistent to make him marry a girl who dislikes him? What does he possibly have to gain from such an engagement?"

Genma looked shocked, "What does he have to gain? He joins together the schools of Anything Goes and with him in control of the Dojo, he will make our style famous all over the world!" He folded his arms while regarding Cologne, "And what do you mean that Akane dislikes him? Those two are simply having trouble getting used to each other, but with a little time and patience they will soon come to love one another."

Soun had tears in his eyes as he nodded vigorously, "Yes indeed! With those two married, we can't fail in making the Anything Goes style famous!"

"Oh, really?" Cologne asked sarcastically. "And precisely what is the Tendo School offering to the match? We Joketsuzoku have countless hundreds of techniques, developed and refined over thousands of years, and our people have been breeding for potent genes since our foundation. Ranma would hold a high position amongst us- if he becomes even half as good as he has the potential to be, he will be respected and revered throughout the Byankala range and beyond."

Soun and Genma began to babble at that, but Cologne stopped listening, having already decided that they had nothing intelligible to say. Finally, she cut them off with a curt wave of her staff and a simple, "Enough. I have now seen the light."

"Then you realise that the only honorable thing to do is to give us Ranma?" Soun and Genma asked in mutual eagerness.

"No. I have realised I am pounding sand down a rat hole." And with that, she jabbed the end of her stick into the snow beneath Soun & Genma's feet, causing it to first bulge unnaturally and then erupt in a powerful but contained explosion as she pumped her ki into it, blowing the two men screaming into the sky where they promptly vanished into LEO.

"Morons," She commented idly, then turned and went back inside, locking the door as she did so.

Two days came and went with startling swiftness. Cologne and Shampoo had insisted that Ranma stay at Snow Mountain until the next day in order to give his injuries full time to heal (Ranma, while ticked at how Cologne had treated Shampoo, was nonetheless grateful when she insisted Shampoo sleep in her own bed, not his). The next day had seen them go back to Nerima, where they had spent the vast majority of the day taking care of all the red tape to have Ranma and Shampoo legally wed by Japanese law. Surprisingly to Ranma, they had gone for the simple option of filling out the marriage licenses, rather than holding any sort of ceremony.

He had asked Shampoo why she'd settled for something so simple, and she had told him that there wasn't much point in having any elaborate ceremonies when she, Ranma and Cologne would be the only ones attending. A wedding ceremony would be held once they returned to the Joketsuzoku village... though the lack of a ceremony hadn't exactly dampened any desire she had to consummate the wedding night... the fact that Ranma had managed to evade her all night, until the two had finally passed out from mutual exhaustion, was not sitting well with the blue-haired girl, who had privately vowed to both step up her own training regime and to try and break down that ridiculous shyness issue her husband seemed to have. After all, they were married now- surely they should celebrate their union physically as well as legally?

On this, the second day since Ranma's disastrous battle on Snow Mountain, the two were finally ready to head back to China- they had purchased plane tickets (which was a first for Ranma, who'd been expecting boat tickets at most and outright swimming to China to be more likely) and were just waiting for their flight to be ready to depart. As they began making their way to the small plane that they had booked passage on, they became aware of a disturbance from behind them. Looking back, they saw none other than Soun, Genma and Akane Tendo, quickly closing the gap between them.

"Oh, not again." Cologne groaned, earning curious glances from her children. What neither of them knew was that Cologne had been fending off attempts made by the two men to steal Ranma back- they would have even disrupted the license signing if she hadn't kicked their asses clear to the other side of Nerima.

"Ranma! I knew you were going to run off with one of your floozies, I just knew it!" Akane was in full burn as she saw Ranma with Shampoo and was already stomping towards the pair, intent on sending one of them flying to the moon.

"Give me back my son! He has to marry Akane, to join the schools!" Soun and Genma were shouting in perfect chorus as they followed behind Akane, who glared behind her.

"Like I would want to marry that pervert! I bet he planned this all from the beginning!"

"Oh brother..." Ranma groaned, massaging his brows with his fingers. Shampoo took a protective step in front of her husband, while Cologne contemplated whether or not she could dare to use any of her more explosive techniques in this particular environment. Deeming the risk to spectators too great, she decided to settle for a more psychological attack.

"Genma Saotome! Do you not want my great-granddaughter's dowry?" She called.

The fat man stopped dead in his tracks, "Dowry? What exactly do you mean by dowry?"

Soun stared at his best friend in shock, "Saotome! What are you doing! We have to get Ranma back and marry him to Akane!" Akane was about to respond when Genma held up a hand.

"Now, now, Tendo. We should hear the woman out concerning her offer… at least then we can grab Ranma after we refuse it!" Soun looked troubled but stayed silent.

"I am a matriarch of Joketsuzoku! And thusly Shampoo, my great-granddaughter and heir, commands a worthy dowry by virtue of her rank. How does a bag of gold sound to you?" Cologne called back, ignoring Ranma & Shampoo's confusion.

Genma had been set to refuse just about anything but the moment gold came into the question, Genma immediately nodded furiously as Soun shouted in horror, "Saotome, no!"

But it was too late, the greedy Saotome patriarch had pushed past a now confused Akane to stand in front of Cologne, "So then, how much gold are we talking here?"

"Five kilos." Cologne answered back immediately, prompting the jaws of everyone concerned to drop and their eyes to bulge- especially the Saotomes. That was... well, they were used to getting by on so little cash that they didn't really know how to describe that much money. Beyond several fortunes worth.

"Sold!" Genma was now shaking Cologne's hand vigorously as Soun could only watch in horror as everything fell apart in front of him as the deluded man watched that promise the two of them had made so many years ago get tossed aside, all for some gold.

"Saotome...how could you? After all these years..." The man was shaking now in absolute shock as Genma smiled and dusted his hands off with a pleased look on his face.

Genma for his part simply looked confused, "What are you talking about Tendo? We both knew that promise was so we could live in luxury, and that good for nothing finally got us the way to easy street. We're rich! And we can live out our lives comfortably now that we have all that gold! We can buy everything we'll ever need with that much money!"

Ranma watched as Soun & Genma started to argue, not really hearing things. He'd been traded off before -he knew that all too well- but to be literally sold off, like he wasn't even a human being, that was a hurt that managed to pierce even his hide. He became dimly aware of someone tugging on his sleeve.

"Ranma, we go now while stupid men argue."

Ranma decided not to argue- as far as he was concerned now, he and Genma were strangers. Without so much as a second glance he boarded the plane- by the time Soun, Genma and Akane realised what had happened, the plane had taken off and Ranma was on his way to China.

Ranma didn't so much as glance at the window once as the plane took off, still fuming over Genma's actions. Shampoo, seated beside him, had latched onto his hand yet again and was pressing up against him, something she tended to do and which he had to admit was kind of nice. Especially seeing as how she never hit him for it. Seated behind them, in a seat to herself, Cologne cackled softly- if they hadn't been airborne, she probably would have pulled out her pipe for a victory smoke.

"You know, son-in-law, I never thought too much of your father's intelligence, but I have to say he really outdid himself there. Imagine letting you go for a mere 5 kilos of gold!"

"What do you mean by that?" Ranma asked, his confusion temporarily pushing aside his irritation.

Shampoo chose that moment to speak up. "In Joketsuzoku, we no use dowries like in Japan. Instead, family boy marry into give payment to his old family. Sort of like reverse dowry..."

"So, basically, you were giving my old man... 'my' dowry?" Ranma asked, digesting that fact to see how it tasted.

"Yes, and cheap at the price- I wouldn't have hesitated to pay three times that amount for you." Cologne interjected, cackling to herself again at Genma's greediness and foolishness.

_In the real world, Ranma's expression mirrored that of the one in the enchanted mirror's surface. Total disbelief. He made a mental note to never let out that he was worth money to the Amazons... though a part of him couldn't help but wonder just what might happen if Nabiki did find out that little nugget of information. He shook his head to clear that from his mind -his life was chaotic enough as it was- and returned his attention to the mirror. He didn't want to live through the entirety of this Ranma's early days in Joketsuzoku, so he decided to instead focus on a number of points that looked particularly noteworthy. First of all, going back to Jusenkyo..._

The Jusenkyo Guide inhaled deeply on his pipe, held the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds, then puffed it out deliberately, beaming in pride at the size of the resultant smoke ring. What? Jusenkyo was an isolated valley in the mountains- he had to make his own amusement somehow. And he wasn't as stupid as the last guy, who once tried taking a leak in one of the springs "just for the hell of it". He winced as he remembered what the Jusenkyo Preservation Society had done to him.

He had just inhaled another mouthful of smoke and was about to make a new smoke ring when there was a sudden mechanical roar, accompanied by a chorus of screams, the sudden uproar causing him to swallow his smoke in shock as a battered Chinese-manufactured jeep suddenly came roaring over a low-hanging ledge, half-crashing and half-skidding to a halt in the mud. As he choked and spluttered on the swallowed smoke, the UAZ's doors practically flew open as two teenagers, a young man and... a monkey on a stick?... spilled out. The teens began puking in the mud as the monkey turned to the man.

"I am going to speak with your parents when we get home! Your driving has gotten worse- I didn't think that was possible!"

The green-haired man simply grinned back mockingly at her, getting a clout to the forehead from the monkey's staff in response before it hopped over to the dumbstruck guide.

"Greetings, honorable sir. My children and I are in need of your assistance." The monkey said, speaking in Chinese for once- a rare thing nowadays it seemed.

"Of course, honorable monkey-" he got no further than that before the monkey bounced its stick off his head. "I mean, honorable grandmother. How may I help you?"

"My children have both been afflicted with Jusenkyo curses, and are now in need of the antidote waters. Please fetch them for me."

"Of course, madam. That will be one cask of Nanniichuan and one cask of Nyanniichuan. Now, where did I leave those buckets...?"

He ambled off to his house to fetch them, then set about collecting the water. He handed the bucket containing Nanniichuan over to the young boy with the pigtail, who looked weirdly familiar, and then gave the bucket of Nyanniichuan to the blue-haired girl, who likewise seemed familiar. As the two teens cured themselves and began to dance for joy, the guide commented an aside to the old woman with the hurty stick.

"It's very strange for visitors to come to Jusenkyo so quickly."

"What do you mean?" The old woman asked.

"Not more than three days ago, I had a boy who came to train- the stupid idiot walked right into the Yahzuniichuan."

"It figures- Mousse always was a birdbrain."

"Pardon?"

"Never mind." The woman turned and bounced over to the teens. She watched them dance for a few seconds, then caught their attention with an exaggerated cough. "Shall we walk back to the village, or shall we have Chen Xingke drive us there?"

The teens froze, looked at Cologne, looked at the Amazon man in his mid-20's, who gave them a frightening smile back, then shouted as one... "Walk!"

Chen didn't look at all offended, simply climbing back into the UAZ and driving it off (much to the guide's surprise; he'd have thought a vehicle that battered would have been a category for the junkyard) as the remaining three turned and began walking off towards the Joketsuzoku village.

_Skip forward a few hours..._

"Okay, if you'll just sign your name here..." said the young woman, passing over an ink-laden calligraphy brush to Ranma, who hesitantly took it and, as neatly as he could manage, signed his name in the scroll currently held open for him. The woman frowned a little at Ranma's poor handwriting, but said nothing about it, simply taking the brush back.

"Alright then, you, Ranma Saotome, are now formally registered in the tribal archives as the husband of Xian Pu, Student of Khu Lon, Warrior of the Zheng Clan, and likewise a Student of Khu Lon and a Warrior of the Zheng Clan. Have a nice day." This last part was said in the usual bored tone of voice, and Ranma was more than willing to take it as a cue to leave. Once he and the others had left the large building Cologne had led them to once they'd entered the village, he turned to his new 'family' with a simple, succinct question...

"Mind telling me what that was all about? Kind of elaborate for a simple marriage license."

"More than just a marriage license, son-in-law. What we just went through was your official adoption into the Clan- you are now truly one of us."

"Whaddya mean by 'Clan' anyway? And what was with that Warrior stuff?" Ranma asked.

"Though we present a united front to all outsiders, we Joketsuzoku are actually divided into a number of heavily extended families; these are the Clans. Shampoo and myself, and now you, are of the Clan of Zheng- I, in fact, am the Clan Matriarch of War, being the oldest and most skilled member of the Warrior caste." Cologne explained.

"The castes are roughly where a given Joketsuzoku fits into our society; the three of us, as practitioners of truly militant martial arts styles, are members of the Warrior caste. The other three castes are Menials, who may practise martial arts but are focused on more day-to-day pursuits such as cookery, craftsmanship, etcetera, Healers, who attend to the sick and injured, and the Lorekeepers, who are our judicial and bureaucratic caste. Do you understand this?" She asked.

"Simple enough... but, why am I a Warrior?"

"...Are you telling me you wish to give up martial arts?" Cologne asked in disbelief, Shampoo's eyes widening in shock.

"What? No! But... I'm a guy- 100 percent guy now thanks to the cure. Don't that mean I've gotta give the Art up?"

There was silence, bar a single whistling gust of wind, and then Shampoo spoke.

"Ranma joking... right?" Her tone making it quite clear that she expected this to be the case, which made Ranma feel strangely embarrassed.

"Son-in-law, sometimes, you really can be rather stupid. If we shunned the practise of martial arts by men, then why would we go out of our way to win strong martial artist husbands?" Cologne asked scathingly. Ranma wriggled in embarrassment and hesitantly raised a finger.

"To breed stronger daughters?"

"And how long would it take for **that** investment to pay off, hmm? No, the ideal husband for any female Warrior is a male Warrior- someone who can be their shield-partner, their swordmate, someone with whom they can share the pain and the rewards of the martial arts. You could give up martial arts, if you truly desired, but it would be a waste in the eyes of all of us, man and woman alike."

Ranma coughed while blushing, though the relief he felt was obvious to Cologne and a giggling Shampoo as he quietly stated he wasn't going to give up the Art.

_In the real world, Ranma filed the information away, while at the same time also sighing in relief that he wouldn't have to give up the Art, before he decided to focus on a likely sparring session now that he was married and the mirror promptly skipped forwards- at least a week, by his reckoning._

Ranma looked around the training hall, still a little awestruck by the size of it as he waited for his wife to arrive before he saw her out of the corner of his eye, and in the real world, Ranma's jaw dropped at what Shampoo was wearing, or, rather, was barely wearing. His mirror-self seemed to have gotten used to it somewhat, but Ranma felt like he was going to drop dead from explosive exsanguination.

The training clothes Shampoo was wearing essentially could have been loosely described as a tube top and shorts, a tight tube top and shorts that left absolutely nothing to the imagination while the young woman's feet and hands were wrapped tightly in white bandages for protection, though Ranma eschewed that in lieu of bare feet and fists. The two bowed to one another, and then moved.

Ranma's training under Cologne and other fight-masters had improved his skills to new levels while Shampoo was also closely matched to him as they traded punches, kicks, knees, blocks and counters before Shampoo grabbed Ranma and pulled him close into a throw, though Ranma was sure that rubbing against him was not part of the move as he was tossed away to spin and land nimbly as Shampoo dashed forwards.

Ranma smirked and without even saying the technique name, jabbed a finger into the stone floor, creating a cloud of dust that made Shampoo skid to a halt only to meet Ranma's fists and feet before a hard strike made her roll away to gain some space. Glancing first at the hole in the floor, and then at her opponent, Shampoo smirked before speaking in fluent Japanese, "You know you're going to have to replace that."

In the real world, Ranma raised an eyebrow as his alternate self replied in fluent Mandarin, "Only if you win."

The two moved into action again, both launching the Amaguriken technique and both were obviously close to mastering the technique, there wasn't even a motion blur to show the strikes, just flashes of fist or arm that were barely visible as Ranma watched the fight in awe.

It was obviously a light sparring session in terms of the techniques used, nothing that Ranma hadn't seen in fighting Cologne before, but Shampoo's own level of skill was a vast improvement over her abilities in reality- she hadn't been this impressive in reality even while the Reversal Jewel had convinced her that she absolutely hated him and Ranma had been holding back. Despite Shampoo's rather flirtatious opening gambit, however, she was purely business during the actual fight- though one had to wonder whether the pleased smile she was wearing was entirely due to her sharing Ranma's own enthusiasm for martial arts, whether it was based entirely in enjoyment of the sparring session. For at least half an hour the two battled each other, before Ranma finally made a slip- a relatively minute one, a mere overextension of himself that, in the real world, even Ryoga would have had trouble capitalizing on. But which Shampoo promptly seized advantage of, locking Ranma into a grapple.

"I think you're slowing down husband if you're falling for this technique. Getting tired already?" Ranma smirked at his wife's teasing voice as she emphasized her words by playfully tugging on his long ponytail with a soft hand.

Ranma adopted a thoughtful expression, "Hmm...maybe I'm just saving energy to mount a proper counter-offensive? Something like...this!" Ranma twisted with a loud cracking and his arms slid out of the hold and before Shampoo could even yelp, the hold was reversed so that Ranma was pinning Shampoo, "So, how's that for an answer?"

Shampoo simply smiled demurely before pushing her waist up and rubbing her ass against a certain area of Ranma's body, earning a blush bright enough to light up a dark room. Ranma's expression suddenly altered in a subtle way, as though something had just gone 'click' inside his mind. Releasing one hand, he gently reached up and gave Shampoo's cheek a single tender stroke, much to Shampoo's shock- and apparent delight. Before anything else could occur though, Cologne appeared at the doorway.

"If you two are quite done 'sparring', then I need to speak with you two about something."

The matriarch turned and was about to pogo-hop off when she paused and turned her head to glance over her shoulder, "And son-in-law, you're fixing that hole. You made it after all. And Shampoo, be sure to help him, won't you?" Ranma's blush could have set paper alight with the heat as Shampoo nodded with a smile that would have the Cheshire Cat proud.

_In the real world, Ranma swallowed hard to stave off his own blush as to what 'help' Shampoo was likely to provide, before he decided to see what the wedding night would have been like; it was obvious that his alternate self was putting it off for a while. The mirror began fast forward in time…_

"Uh...Shampoo? Could we talk? In private I mean?" Shampoo regarded her husband as he stood there dressed for bed, with a decidedly nervous expression on his face, before she nodded- and quick as a flash the two were sitting on a section of rooftop.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Shampoo asked, rubbing a bandaged section of her arm, the latest result of one of the formerly secret fights she had been fighting in defense of his honor due to the fact he had not yet performed that most important of marital duties and a brief flicker of shame and regret went across his face. He took a deep breath and scooted closer to her before he spoke.

"I...I was thinking about our relationship." Shampoo tensed but Ranma continued, "I know I haven't been exactly...willing, I guess I could say, to...you know, consummate our marriage..."

Shampoo nodded, looking down at the ground rather than at Ranma, while trying to keep her own expression stoic. Ranma noted that with a twinge of guilt, but continued as best he could.

"But I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to be wanting to do that, I guess, thanks to pops and his drive to make me a perfect martial artist, and what with Akane always putting me down. But after being here, being with you, I think I'm getting what some people in Nerima talk about when they say they love someone."

Shampoo's head lifted up to meet Ranma's gaze as he continued.

"When this whole thing started, I guess I was resentful. Resentful at myself for losing that fight, resentful at Cologne for bribing the old man, and resentful at the old man for being so greedy. And, I suppose, a little resentful at you for coming back into my life."

Only her training stopped Shampoo from breaking down in tears as her husband seemingly made his feelings clear, her gaze and face both falling despite that. It was at that point that Ranma suddenly reached over, gently but firmly clasping her hand with his own.

"But..." Shampoo's head rose again and she resumed looking into Ranma's eyes, eyes alight with a feeling she didn't quite recognize and which had been fixed on her own all along. "But then I came here, and things slowly began to change."

Ranma looked away from her then, gazing up at the moon and stars, "I found myself part of a clan that respected me, I found myself living a life that I enjoy. And I found myself sharing it with someone I recently admitted to myself that I love, now that I finally understand what it means." Shampoo's eyes were wide as Ranma's face turned to regard her, "I guess this is my long-winded way of saying that I want to be your husband, and I mean truly be your husband."

Shampoo's reaction was instantaneous as she tackled Ranma and kissed him with everything she had and Ranma replied in return as their hands began to move before Shampoo stopped suddenly, "We should head inside."

Ranma nodded, "Yeah, it's a little cold out here."

Shampoo shook her head, "No, that perverted old woman Chow is watching." Ranma blinked, then turned his head slightly in the direction Shampoo was looking to see a wrinkled old woman's face watching through binoculars with a grin that would have made Happosai proud.

"Yeah...maybe we should head inside...quickly."

The image then began to fade in the mirror, the view of the teenage husband and wife dissolving into the usual mists, waiting for Ranma's mind to direct the Eye to view another timestream.

_And that's another chapter up and done. We didn't exactly intend for this oneshot to have so much length to it, but that's the way the dice rolls. As always, please read and review- especially leaving your vote on what oneshot Gideon020 and I should tackle next. We also have a new oneshot idea; what if Soun hadn't interrupted Ranma flirting with Kasumi while he was wearing the Lady-Killer Bandaid? So, if you have any ideas for oneshots (within the established parameters: anime only, OAV 1 or earlier), feel free to toss them up! And if anyone wants to 'borrow' a base-concept from this story and try and run with it themselves, they're free to do so... so long as they stick to the original goal of doing something that isn't Ranma/Akane. Too many of those out there already._


	4. A Different Type of Circumstance

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** technically, the "Ranma kissed Nabiki" oneshot was the most voted for so far, but we wanted to make sure that we had our own, unique take on it before we wrote it up- hence why this oneshot was posted instead. However, now that we have a few other oneshots up, I feel we're ready to try that Ranma/Nabiki one, so that will be the next oneshot we post. Please tell us what oneshots you want to see however; your votes from this chapter will just help count towards the next one after the Ranma Kissed Nabiki one.

Okdro, I hate to tell you this, but one of the rules for this anthology is simple: no Ranma/Akane. I don't like Akane, I certainly don't like pairing her with Ranma, I couldn't write Ranma/Akane to save my life, and I personally feel there's too many Ranma/Akane's out there anyway. This is just my little way of giving the other girls some love, especially those who tend not to get too much (Shampoo & Kodachi).

LiYinBlake; now, would I be wrong, or are you saying you'd like to see a fully story based on the previous oneshot?

Chapter 3: A Different Type of Circumstance

Ranma looked up from the misty mirror as a crack of thunder suddenly rumbled, turning his gaze out the window and developing a piqued expression upon seeing that the weather had worsened. He sighed heavily, then resumed viewing his new possession- truth be told, this wasn't such a bad way to pass the time. But he was a little tired of seeing his own paths... what about that timestream where Mousse had somehow managed to defeat him in their first ever battle? The mists roiled and heaved and Ranma found his self pulled down...

"Alright! Mousse can't win without his glasses!" Akane Tendo cried happily. This fight had been leaning heavily in the Chinese boy's favor due to the reach advantage he had over Ranma's cursed form, something which neither she nor Ranma him/herself was happy about.

"We'll just see about that!" Mousse smirked, pulling out a magnifying glass and pressing it to his face in order to compensate for his terrible shortsightedness. Digging around in a ki warp, he simultaneously leapt into the air and flung a handful of pellets onto the arena. However, instead of bursting into flames, there was a series of intense flashes, prompting Mousse to drop his eye-glass and close his eyes in shock- he'd pulled out flash pellets by mistake! He'd meant to use fire pellets!

"My eyes! Can't see!" Came a distressed voice, female, but using distinctly male Japanese words. Mousse smirked as the realization sank in- this was better than he'd expected! While he was used to operating while blind, his opponent clearly wasn't, and he immediately seized advantage of that. Having pinpointed Ranma's location with his hearing, Mousse barreled over, driving his elbow into the gut of the boy-disguised-as-a-girl and following up with a spin-kick that crashed into Ranma's temple and flung him from the ring to land unconscious on the ground.

Akane gasped in shock and horror as Ranma sprawled lifelessly across the pavement. When she failed to move, Mousse hopped down and began approaching the boy-turned-girl. Akane's blood burned in her veins; stupid idiot that Ranma was, she couldn't let him/her get killed! She thrust herself to her feet, grabbed the shogi board from the idiotic fathers, and ran towards the Chinese boy...

"You leave him alone!"

Mousse's head whipped up at that unexpected voice, having been moving closer to make sure that Ranma really was unconscious, and promptly had a shogi board crash so hard into his face that it smashed into pieces. He remained standing for a few seconds, the endurance that came from over a decade of being beaten up fighting to keep him conscious, but then he gave up the fight and keeled over.

_Back in the real world, Ranma raised an eyebrow at the turn of events, but as he continued watching, things only began to get stranger._

Mousse groaned as consciousness returned to him and with it, sensations and the remembrance of what had happened in the fight before he heard a rather unwelcome voice.

"Well now, isn't this an interesting development." Mousse turned his head and with a few gropes, found a set of replacement glasses so he could regarded Cologne more fully as the Matriarch continued, "You lost Mu Tzu, both by your own stakes in the match and by Amazon Law. I suppose congratulations are in order for you and your new wife, may the two of you live a long and happy life."

Mousse could only groan as he decided that arguing the point wasn't going to solve everything, and he had lost after all. Might as well live with it and besides, it couldn't be that bad right? The sight that greeted him upon making his way out of the room in the Cat Cafe; two men sitting next to a relatively confused girl on one side and that red-haired girl Ranma on the other, made the young man wonder what that sinking feeling in his gut was…

Cologne hopped to the forefront as Mousse found a seat at the table while the old woman spoke up, "As I'm certain that certain members of this little party know all too well." She shot a glance at Ranma and Genma, the girl grimacing while the man started sweating as she continued, "Our laws are quite clear cut, so I suppose beating around the bush won't be needed here." The old woman regarded Akane with a kind smile, "Congratulations young lady, you just earned yourself a husband." Cologne nudged Mousse to point him out, "Namely this young man right here."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" This was the shout from one Soun Tendo, who had gone from tears to what could be called righteous fury, "Akane is supposed to marry Ranma here, not some interloper! How could she be married to this person!"

Cologne smiled placidly as Shampoo bounded in at that point, saw the building argument and decided to watch the proceedings while sitting uncomfortably close to Ranma, who was trying to pretend she couldn't see the evil eye she was receiving from Akane.

"In case you have forgotten, Ranma himself has already renounced his claim to miss Akane Tendo's hand." Cologne replied levelly, her expression one of complete calmness.

Soun shook his head, "He obviously didn't mean to say such a thing. Ranma, you obviously weren't serious about renouncing the marriage agreement right?"

Genma nodded furiously, "Yes son, tell her you didn't mean that crack about renouncing the marriage agreement. You were just saying that as part of the challenge weren't you? After all, you never actually agreed on it so it obviously doesn't count."

"I hate to burst your bubbles, but Ranma agreed, in front of witnesses, that if he lost his duel with Mousse, he would, and I quote, 'Give his woman -that is, Akane- to him'. You two have no defense here." Cologne said solemnly. Shampoo's expression turned into a beaming smile near-wide enough to split her face, while Akane began to smolder, something which Ranma had become all too familiar with recently, if the way the red-haired girl fearfully backed away from the navy-haired tomboy was any indicator.

Genma tried to play one last gambit as Soun sputtered, "Even if that is true, how can we be sure that this 'Mousse' is actually a member of your village? He could just be someone you've hired simply to further your own agenda!" Soun perked up at that statement.

"Yes, that's right! What proof do you have that this young man is a member of your village and not someone you've simply paid money to fight Ranma?"

Ranma rolled her/his eyes at this; the two idiots couldn't even accept that they never had a chance.

Cologne rolled her eyes, while Shampoo looked torn between laughing and being insulted. "Don't insult my intelligence, please. Why would I waste money hiring someone, when I need only be patient and Ranma will come to us willingly? After all, he will never again resume his true birth gender unless he agrees to marry my Shampoo- which means that there was no point to cut his ties to your daughter, as he is unable to marry her whilst a woman."

Unthinkingly, Soun stepped in front of Akane as if to ward her from Cologne's eyes. He raised a hand and opened his mouth, as if about to make a point, when Akane suddenly pushed past him and slammed her palms onto the table.

"Oh, so now I'm so bad, I need a guy to take a fall for me to win, is that what you're saying? I'm a martial artist too, dad! I beat him fair and square!"

"Have you hit yourself on the head recently?" Ranma unthinkingly asked in response to that. Akane whirled on her in a fury.

"You stay out of this, you no-good lecher! Just because I managed to beat the guy who beat you, you don't have to badmouth me! Why, I beat you're just jealous that I was able to win for once!"

Soun interjected before Ranma was able to retort, "And we are very proud for your win Akane. Its just that...well...you do have an obligation to marry Ranma and unite the Schools." Genma nodded, but stayed silent as Akane turned her glare in the direction of her father.

Ranma was about to get a comment in when Akane threw up her hands and stood up, "Forget this! Who cares if I'm stuck with another pervert, I won and that's final!"

Mousse flinched as Akane's eyes trained themselves on him and she pointed at the Chinese boy with narrowed eyes, "Come on! Since I'm stuck with you I might as well show you where you're staying. And any funny tricks from you and POW!" Akane emphasized her statement with a fist meeting a palm; "I'm going to make you the first pervert to land on the moon without a rocket!"

Mousse simply nodded and stood up, the others immediately following suit and so it was that a pair of stunned fathers, and a pair of silent martial artists followed a fuming teenage girl left the Nekohanten.

It was a quiet, almost sullen quintet that finally tromped in through the doors of the Tendo Dojo, where Kasumi was already waiting with a smile on her face and a steaming cup of tea on the table, while Nabiki sat idly in front of the TV munching on the contents of a bag of chips. She looked up out of idle curiosity as the five unhappy folks came in.

"What's he doing here?" Nabiki asked in a muffled voice. Akane's snarl of an expression made her raise an eyebrow in question, but probably would have prompted her to drop the subject had not Soun suddenly spoke up.

"Apparently, those ridiculous laws, coupled with Ranma's foolish promise, means that not only is Ranma no longer allowed to marry Akane by his honor, but Mousse here is now Akane's fiancé instead."

"Wow. You really do have a way with boys, Akane." Nabiki joked dryly.

"Dry up Nabiki." Akane muttered.

"Ah well, I guess it really isn't so bad..." Soun commented idly.

**"Excuse me!?"** Erupted Akane, Mousse, and both Saotomes.

Soun beamed happily as he explained his comment. "Now I have two strong son-in-laws to take over my dojo! Mousse will wed Akane, and Ranma will wed Nabiki!"

"Oh no you don't, daddy! I am not going to marry another girl!" Nabiki snapped angrily, her usual disinterest flaring away in response to this heinous attempt to impose responsibility on her.

"I am a **man!**" Ranma screamed in fury. She, Nabiki, and the two fathers promptly beginning to 'discuss' this matter amongst themselves. By which I mean they began screaming at each other and paying no attention to what any of the others were saying, though Genma didn't take long before he decided to agree with Soun on general principle. Mousse watched the verbal fray from the sidelines, a small drop of sweat trickling down the back of his head in disbelief at their antics. Akane scowled at them, then turned to Mousse.

"Come on. I may as well show you where you'll be sleeping- but I'm warning you. Try any funny stuff, and you're out of here!"

Mousse repressed the urge to snort disdainfully and make a snapback along the lines of "Don't flatter yourself", but reasoned that he was in enough trouble already, instead simply following her upstairs and along some halls into a sparse, but neat, extra room.

"Here you are... oh. We... don't have any spare futons or clothing." Akane said, sounding embarrassed about that fact, something that couldn't help but make a small, tired smile form on Mousse's face; he couldn't remember the last time that someone had been apologetic for his sake.

"It's alright. I have my own." He answered calmly, reaching into one of his spacious sleeves, feeling around inside of it, then holding it at a steep angle to the floor, allowing a mass of cloth to fall from it and into a sizeable mound on the floor. He dug around in the collection to sort out bedding from spare clothes, put the bedding aside, then stuffed the clothing back into storage. Akane watched him, feeling a little like she was a little kid watching a conjurer's act.

"How do you fit that much stuff up your sleeves anyway?"

"I've always had a knack for Hidden Weapons style... do you want me to teach you?" Mousse asked. He didn't believe for a second that she would accept, but he thought it was the polite thing to do.

"Sure!" Mousse blinked at the excited look on Akane's face before he recovered enough to try and remember the basics.

"Okay then, here's how the basics go..."

_In the real world, Ranma watched with interest as Mousse proved himself to be somewhat of a capable teacher to Akane, though that could also be chalked up to being able to spot the signs when a girl who had no problems using violence against you was frustrated enough to be unable to learn properly, and that was fairly common. After watching a few lessons, Ranma decided to see what the next major point in this tale was. At his thought, the mirror fast-forwarded to a point three days later..._

It started like a normal day, except that Mousse was helping Kasumi cook and Ranma was still female since nothing the boy turned girl had tried was able to get him to change back, even lukewarm water was enough to dissuade her from trying it again. But that wasn't the full extent of the tension, for the last week or so Soun and Genma had been pushing Ranma to marry Kasumi, since Nabiki had all but promised some sort of horrible financial ruin and brutal public character assassination if they tried it with her, and Ranma was certain that even the normally placid Kasumi was beginning to get sick and tired of the constant harping of the two fathers. It didn't help matters that Ranma's efforts to avoid aggravating her too much were being seen as a sign of true love at work by the two idiots.

Now, Ranma was quite firmly but kindly told not to help her unless she specifically asked for the help, and since any interaction was going to be perceived as romance that meant that Ranma pretty much had been told to sit around and do nothing while Mousse received the work instead, since his status as Akane's fiancé meant that there was no way in Soun and Genma's minds that he would do anything untoward to Kasumi. Mousse frankly didn't really feel like experiencing Akane's wrath, plus he had tribal laws to uphold after all.

Though Mousse appeared almost as serene as the eldest Tendo daughter as he helped her prepare breakfast, internally, he was troubled. And this was a problem that had been nagging at him for a while. His "bride" Akane had revealed that she owned a pet miniature pig, which had the very un-pig-like habit of appearing and disappearing at random intervals. Beyond this strangeness was its behavior; Mousse would swear that not only did it have the habit of wearing the porcine equivalent of a perverted smirk when Akane cuddled it to her chest (and Ranma's apparent jealousy/disdain for her doing this was another odd factor), it also had the tendency to give both Ranma and Mousse himself an evil eye. More Mousse, these days. Several days after he had first moved here, Ranma had been attacked by a strange boy with a tiger-stripe patterned bandanna.

Now, Mousse's eyesight wasn't too hot, he had to admit it, but the pattern of the bandanna that the stranger had worn had looked almost identical to the one worn by P-chan. The strange boy, Ryoga he remembered Ranma calling him, had vanished during the fight- Ranma had said something about losing Ryoga, claiming that Ryoga's most defining feature was his utter lack of any sense of direction. When questioned privately as to why he had attacked Ranma, Ranma had begrudgingly told Mousse that Ryoga had a crush on Akane, warning him that it was likely Ryoga would attack him if he got the opportunity.

This all added up to a very strange set of circumstances, especially seeing as how he had learned the true nature of Jusenkyo from Ranma and her/his father during his stay. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more positive he was that P-chan and Ryoga were truly one and the same. If that was the case, he had to expose Ryoga's deception, for Akane's sake. While his love would always be for Shampoo, what kind of person could he call himself to be if he just sat back and allowed a pervert like Ryoga to take advantage of Akane's naivety? He nodded to himself: he would do it, as soon as was possible.

Breakfast was served and everyone began to eat in silence, both human and the little piglet being fed by Akane while it shot smug looks at Ranma, and glares at Mousse as though daring him to say something to give it justification to attack. Mousse however, did something completely different as he picked up a cup of steaming hot tea and then politely asked, "Can I hold your pet piglet? I'm curious about what sort of breed it is."

Akane blinked, then figured that since Mousse asked politely unlike one sex-changing jerk, he could hold P-chan. The piglet glanced at Mousse suspiciously while he blandly sipped at the tea, suspicion that was matched by Nabiki who wondered what their new boarder had in mind.

Piglet securely in his free hand, Mousse simply began prodding and poking gently as though he was genuinely studying the piglet, who by now was simply content squirm when fingers got too close to certain areas, which was amusing Ranma greatly, to the point that the red-head finally gave up trying to be quiet and sarcastically commented, "What's the matter porky? His hands too cold for you?"

That did it, but as the piglet managed to loosen Mousse's grip enough to leap, it bumped the Chinese teen's hand and the tea fell out and splashed onto the piglet, who only had time to let loose an oink of shock before with a flash of movement, Mousse was now restraining a very surprised Ryoga Hibiki as Mousse simply stated calmly, "Jusenkyo."

Akane could only goggle in shock before looking around for P-chan, "Where did P-chan go?" Mousse's face remained impassive.

"He never left, in fact he's still here. Ryoga Hibiki is P-chan, or rather is cursed to transform into P-chan." Akane's face scrunched up her mind tried to register the words and while in any other case and in any other universe it would have failed spectacularly, this time long disused logic circuits kicked into the overdrive as a particular train of thought made itself known.

P-chan is Ryoga, Mousse says that Ryoga is cursed to turn into P-chan, Curse plus Jusenkyo means that he went to Jusenkyo and got a curse just like Ranma who...knew all along! In an instant, Akane went from confused to mad as hell.

_In the Prime universe, Ranma-Prime had an all-too-clear vision of what was going to happen..._

**"RANMA! RYOGA!"**

One powerful uppercut, and Ryoga had left the building, leaving in his wake nothing but a floating bandanna and a huge hole in the roof. Mousse lay sprawled on the floor, having barely avoided being sent for a ride with Ryoga, and Akane, her aura burning in the air around her, turned to Ranma with an expression of fury so intense, words could not describe it. Having learned all too well precisely how Akane's mind tended to work, the pigtailed girl tried to back away from her, waving her hands frantically.

"No, wait, Akane! It's not what you think!"

"You **bastard!** You lying, miserable...!" Words failed her and she charged Ranma with a scream splitting the air, plowing into the doomed redhead and literally thrashing her across the yard. When she finally allowed the bruised and unconscious girl to collapse at her feet, Akane turned wrathfully towards her father.

"Get them out of here!"

"What?! But, Akane...!" Soun spluttered.

"These bastards allowed their sick friend to take advantage of me! They laughed while that pervert was cuddling with me, sleeping with me! I want them out of here! **NOW!**"

Now, to give Soun Tendo some credit, he did try and talk some sense into Akane... but, Soun being Soun, and Akane being Akane, things went the way she wanted and within the next 15 minutes the gates to the Tendo property had slammed shut on a pole-axed Genma and a Ranma that had just regained consciousness enough that her last sight of the Tendo Dojo was Akane's dark expression. Dusting her hands with dark triumph, Akane strode back inside, passing by a silent, expressionless Mousse. She paused and sent him a brief, sad smile.

"Thank you. If it weren't for you, those perverts..." She cut herself off, and went inside, while Mousse simply looked back at the gate.

While it definitely felt good to get revenge on the man-turned-girl who had stolen his beloved Shampoo's heart away from him, there was something about this that felt a little... 'off'. Maybe he had gone overboard? ...Nah.

_It would be hard to describe the emotions currently conflicting with Ranma-Prime's psyche at this moment, but a definite fact was that he was resisting the urge to snarl. The fact he could very well see Akane pulling something like this -after all, he had been kicked out of the Tendo Dojo more than once in the past- was definitely not helping matters. He decided to refocus the eye on his counterpart in this timestream, to see what would happen when they woke up..._

Ranma groaned softly as she finally regained her senses- and promptly wished she hadn't as the myriad pain signals that had been queued up and waiting for her to do so promptly stormed into her brain. Damn moronic tomboy bitch... couldn't she ever hear him/her out? She blinked her eyes to make her vision less blurry, than focused on Genma, who was standing nearby.

"Where... where are we? What happened?"

Genma laughed weakly, "Akane lost her temper and seemed to think that we were responsible for Ryoga's actions." He then looked away, obviously not wanting to meet Ranma's eyes, "I tried to explain the situation but she was inconsolable and eventually Soun and I decided that it might be best to spend some time away from the Dojo while Akane cools down enough for us to explain the truth."

Translation: We just got tossed out on the streets, but give me a few days and I'll come up with a plan to get us back in the dojo and return everything to normal.

Ranma stared at him in silence for a minute, prompting a bead of nervous sweat to trickle down Genma's face as her gimlet-like eyes bored into him. Finally, she spoke, her voice icy cold and barely above a whisper. "...And why do we want to go back, old man? Tell me."

Genma looked confused, "Why, so we can fulfill the Tendo-Saotome agreement! We'll find a cure eventually and then Soun and I will be able to happily watch you be married!"

At this last statement, Genma nodded authoritatively, "Now then, all we have to do is calm Akane down and then explain this whole mess to her. After all, its a matter of honor."

"Honor. Honor? Honor..." Ranma repeated the word to herself several times, seeming to roll it around on her tongue as though trying to taste it. "What do you mean by 'honor'? What 'honor' do we have that could possibly warrant me putting up with that... bitch!- As a sister-in-law? Or worse, as my wife! Hell, you damn well sold me for a fish and two pickles! Doesn't that pretty much invalidate your damned 'honor'?" Ranma snarled, infusing the word "honor" with as much venom, vitriol and sarcasm as she could muster.

Genma frowned, "All right then boy, if you have a better idea then lets hear it!"

After a few minutes silence, Genma stepped closer to his son turned daughter, "Well? Come on boy, if you have an idea that is better than mine and you seem to think you do, let me have it!"

Ranma hissed between her teeth. "Well, since little miss princess has made it quite clear that we're no longer welcome, I guess **I** will go to the Nekohanten." The sour look on her face intensified at having to swallow her pride in such a manner, but if she was no longer bound by her stupid old man's agreement to have anything to do with the Tendos, then she'd be damned if she was going to spend the rest of her life as a girl! She was a guy!

Genma sputtered, "What!? No, I absolutely forbid such action boy!" He crossed his arms over his chest, "You're going to help me get back into the Dojo, because the only way you're going to be able to go to the Nekohanten is through me!"

"Careful old man, or I just might take you up on that!" Ranma snarled, her eyes narrowing into slits. "The way I see it, this is all your damn fault in the first place! You got me cursed, you took me to Shampoo's damn village, you started eating her damn prize, you're the cause of all this! And why should I go back to that run-down dojo with no students, a pathetic crybaby for a master, and a violent bullheaded idiot of a tomboy with all the charm of a warthog! I tried to warn her about Ryoga being P-chan! But she wouldn't listen! And now that her stupidity is finally being rubbed in her face, **I'm** the one at fault! Fuck that! The Amazons might be manipulative bitches, but they haven't beaten the tar out of me for their own damn mistakes!" She was shouting by this point, having unconsciously gone against her usual nature and stoked the flames of her fury to even greater heights.

Genma's eyes narrowed, "Fine then boy, lets settle this here and now." With that he dropped his pack and got into a stance, "One hit boy, just land one hit and I'll let you go."

Genma had barely finished saying that when Ranma's rage-driven fist landed squarely between his eyes. As the elder Saotome toppled backwards into the street, Ranma glared at him, panting heavily in fury. Finally, she tucked her limbs in, swung her pack onto her back, and headed in the direction of the Nekohanten, not even sparing a glance for her old man.

_Ranma-Prime watched as his counterpart stalked off, and debated following her for a moment. He decided against it; he could always return and watch this timeline from her perspective another time. That decided, he refocused the Eye back on Akane and Mousse. Ranma-Prime didn't particularly want to watch Mousse and Akane's day-to-day life, he had other timestreams to view after all, so he instead sent the Eye skipping ahead in time to the day when their romantic feelings for each other could be said to have first begun to bloom. The Eye stopped on a point three weeks after Akane had banished the Saotomes from the Tendo House, and Ranma-Prime couldn't help but wonder for a second just when he'd gotten so good at telling how much time had been passed._

It was a Sunday, and so Akane was devoting her spare time to a sparring session with Mousse. Her lessons in Hidden Weapons style had progressed fairly well, and now she had the basics of concealment, Mousse was educating her in the second part of the style- actually using the concealed weapons.

"And then you throw your arms forwards like this." With a simply throwing motion, a number of rubber knives flew from Mousse's sleeve to strike a target dummy perfectly. Mousse then flicked his arm back and the weapons were returned to his sleeve before turning to Akane, "Okay, just like that. Don't worry about retrieving them like I did, focus on getting them out first."

Akane nodded before with a look of concentration, she threw her arm out like her arm had been electrocuted. Nothing happened and Akane was about to get frustrated at her lack of success when suddenly a stream of rubber knives flew from the sleeve and flew about the room, impacting against everything but the target. Mousse shook his head slightly, "Not quite, but you got them out. Next time, try to do it a little more smoothly."

Akane nodded and practice resumed once more for several more hours before it was called off for lunch. That was when Akane surprised Mousse by saying, "Lets go to the Nekohanten."

The Chinese boy stopped cold. "Wha?"

Akane pouted at the shocked expression on Mousse's face. "I said, lets go to the Nekohanten. I know you've been moping about after Shampoo so I figure since we're friends I could try and talk them into letting you go back there." Mousse didn't say a word, he was just too shocked at Akane's kind idea and that she might have noticed his pining for his beloved Shampoo. So he agreed to go to the Nekohanten with Akane to see if Cologne could be convinced into taking him back.

As the two walked, Mousse's mind was still reeling slightly and he glanced at Akane walking beside him. The two had become quite good friends since his 'defence' of her, and it seemed that the usually violent temper Akane displayed had been toned down a little.

The only thing that bothered Mousse was this: what had happened to Saotome after all this time? It was like the boy slash girl had simply vanished off the face of the earth. Putting that aside for now, Mousse saw the Nekohanten coming up and took a deep breath to steel his nerves for the meeting to come.

Akane pushed open the doors and immediately was greeted by a cheerful "Nihao! Welcome to Cat Cafe!" Then Shampoo blinked when she saw Mousse and frowned slightly, "What you doing here Mousse?"

Mousse was about to ask to see Cologne so that he could plead his case when his eyes fell on the lone male waiter expertly serving dishes to the starry-eyed female customers, drawing Shampoo's attention as well and eliciting a smile, "Oh! You came to meet Shampoo's husband!"

That hit like a sledgehammer to Mousse's gut ,and it only got worse as Akane evidently recognized the male as...

"Ranma?"

The waiter stopped and glanced over at hearing his name being called, blinked at recognizing the pair and simply waved back, and that was when Mousse saw the wedding ring. A glance at Shampoo's hand showed an identical ring, and for Mousse that was when everything fell apart. The last thing he remembered doing was flicking out some long knives...

A man walking towards the Nekohanten paused at hearing what sounded like a fight before the doors flew open and with a cry of "And stay out!" a body was thrown into the streets to land in a heap on the pavement, a teenage girl running out what now turned out to be a teenage boy as another pair of teenagers simply dusted their hands off and walked back inside, closing the doors of the restaurant after them.

Mousse groaned as he sat up, before he suddenly started retching. All this time, and she had married another man, with a ring and everything and worse still, it was the person he had defeated all those weeks before!

Mousses vision was blurry, both from the loss of his glasses and the tears he felt on his face, as he simply let out an inarticulate roar and pounded the ground in anguish.

Akane watched as Mousse made his anguish all too apparent, breaking down and crying right there in the street. A terrible sense of guilt overwhelmed her, even drowning out her own feelings of rage towards Ranma's treachery. She walked up to Mousse and knelt beside him before embracing him gently, not saying anything, simply allowing him to weep for his broken heart, his shattered dreams. When the torrent of tears finally stopped, she began to gently stroke his back.

"Mousse... she never deserved someone as nice, as sweet, as gentle and caring as you. Come on, let's go home- let her have that asshole. You're a wonderful person, and you will find someone who can treat you right."

Still teary-eyed, Mousse looked up blurrily into Akane's face, whereupon she favored him with a soft, gentle smile before helping him to his feet and leading him back towards the Tendo Dojo. Mousse was in no position to notice she was doing so, but nor was he in any particular mood to point out that she didn't need to hold his hand in order to guide him.

Ranma-Prime drew back from the Eye at that point, unable to stand the inexplicable feelings writhing within his heart. He began to skim further ahead, but the emotional turmoil grew only worse as he watched, admittedly from a "distance", a romance that unfolded like a blooming flower, until Ranma-Prime could no longer stand it and wrenched away from the timeline violently. He didn't know just what he was feeling, or why he was feeling this way, but he knew that he didn't like it.

Breathing heavily to himself for a few minutes as he wrestled himself back under control, he finally let out a long breath and resumed gazing into the mirror, switching to a different timeline as he did.

_For those of you who came in late, if you'd like to see a particular oneshot expanded into a full story, then please leave a review or send me a PM along those lines. If I feel that folks would be interested, when this anthology reaches it's final chapter, I'll put up a poll for people to vote on what oneshot they'd like expanded into a full story. Technically, From the Icy Jaws of Defeat has an expansion planned, but that's really more of a sequel… anyway, please read and review to help us choose what to make into chapter 5 (by the numbers) of this anthology!_

_For those of you who don't remember what the choices are, I've relisted them here:  
__-Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel  
- Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode  
- Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second  
-Akane's hose pushed Ranma out of the ring in his battle with Kodachi  
-Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo  
-Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer  
-Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China  
-Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki  
-When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face  
-During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do  
-Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time.  
-Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos".  
-Nabiki never found out about Ranma's revenge plan and went on the date he asked her on instead of sending Akane.  
-When Shampoo & Ukyo are fighting over the enchanted Ranma during the Love Bandage fiasco ("Ranma the Lady-Killer"), Ranma tries to stop things by signing both of their marriage licenses while they're distracted.  
__-Soun never interrupted Ranma while he was wooing Kasumi while wearing the Love Bandage._

_And as a final memo, I've been considering doing a 'true sequel' to this story; a short story set after the storm abates and Ranma-Prime heads home to the Tendo Dojo, where the things he's seen and learned from the mirror prompt him to start making some changes to the status quo of Nerima. If anyone thinks that this would be a good story idea and wants to see it, leave reviews or send me PMs telling me so. If I get enough by the time this story hits its final chapter, I'll get to work on making a sequel- as well as leaving a new vote to help orientate matters in it._


	5. A Hard Sell

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** the last chapter got more reviews than any other chapter in the story, and the overwhelming majority of them were positive. The only ones that weren't were because the last chapter wasn't a Ranma-focused one. This is something I'm very happy about.

I may have to consider a 'spiritual sequel' examining What Ifs from the movies & later OAVS, because as of right now I have no immediate access to characters like Hinako, Natsume & Kurumi, or Lychee and the possibilities tied to them.

Ahye, I know that I'm skipping these stories somewhat, but that's because these are oneshots- it also leaves me with ample room to stretch out in should I decide to develop a full story from a given oneshot.

A number of people have expressed dislike of the fact that Soun Tendo got off scott-free when he is fully aware of Ryoga's curse. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew this fact and it's one of the more potent facts that contribute towards my disdain of this piece of human flotsam. However, there was no in-character way to make him pay for this; remember, the only way we viewers/readers know about Soun knowing the truth about P-chan is because we've seen the scene where Ryoga uses Soun's bath to change back into a human. Mousse deduced the truth about P-chan from observing him, and Soun never gives any hint that he is aware of the truth about the piglet. Akane blamed Ranma because, well, that's what she does, and the fact that Ranma is somehow involved in Ryoga's curse is a logical extrapolation from their vendetta.

On a final note, a few people have asked if Ranma has learned the Hidden Weapons style with the mirror: the answer is no, as he's only seen rudimentary fragments of the training, less than he's seen with any other technique he's learned. He could conceivably use the Eye to learn new techniques, but it's very tricky to orientate it towards that goal, as its purpose is something else.

Chapter 4: A Hard Sell

"So then, how about… a kiss?" Nabiki asked, and smirked to herself as Ranma visibly tensed with shock at her asking. The two teens had come to the rooftop of Furinkan High to secretly talk to each other. The subject? Nabiki's attempt to get Ranma to pay her to break up with him so that he could go back to Akane, something she had only gone for when Akane had proven too stubborn to fork over any money to return to the status quo.

"W-what?" Ranma finally managed to ask.

"Well, if we're not breaking up, we should seal it with a kiss." Nabiki answered smoothly. In the primary timestream, she had finished there, but here she decided to go a step further, that step putting things on an entirely different path. "You know, like you were so eager to do a couple of weeks ago?"

Ranma was caught off-guard by this. Hell, the last two days had been warped, even for his life. Akane had thrown a temper tantrum and called the engagement off- and Nabiki had stepped in to pick it up. She had been making Ranma's life hell by switching between flirting with him and trying to make money from him, and this event had seemed to compress both of those into a nutshell. Wait a second, when had he tried to kiss her? The only time he'd acted romantically towards her was when he'd been wearing that stupid Lady-Killer Bandaid thing… hang on, she'd been frightened out of her mind when he'd started flirting with her!

And that was when everything clicked into place; she had no romantic intentions with him whatsoever, she was just trying to get cash out of this whole wretched situation! He'd known she could be pretty rotten, but this was low even for her! She was obviously expecting him to freeze up, which would thus give her cause to demand even more money from him- likely making him out to be the villain in this mess while she was at it. He burned with the desire for revenge, but what could he do? He'd never be able to live with himself if he hit a non-combatant girl… and heaven knew what everyone else would do to him if he did that!

Then, a thought struck him: Nabiki had just asked him for a kiss, which she knew he would normally never have even considered delivering… which was why she had asked in the first place- she'd been scared of him when he'd been the one to act romantic. And that gave him a great idea for revenge; time to turn the tables on her…

"Okay, if that's what ya want, I'll kiss ya." Ranma said lightly.

While Ranma had been thinking, unnoticed by him, Nabiki had gone into her spiel about how Ranma was just toying with her affections, and she wasn't going to play his "sick little game" anymore, and demanding he pay her six thousand yen to break up. She had just finished as Ranma had developed his idea to pay her back, and was thus holding her hand out expectantly for her cash. It took a few seconds for Ranma's words to penetrate her conscious mind, but when that happened her eyes shot open and she tried to leap to her feet in shock, only to slip and fall over onto the roof. She paid her present position no mind, instead staring up at Ranma dumbfounded.

"What did you say!?" she yelped, words that, unbeknownst to either teen, were silently mouthed by a watching Akane. Ranma stepped forward, bent down silently and helped Nabiki to her feet, though he made no move to release her from the rather romantic position that ensued.

"Well, ya asked me for a kiss, and we are engaged, right? So I figured I should give ya a kiss." Ranma said, smiling at her. From an outsider's viewpoint (i.e. Nabiki and Akane) it looked as though he was genuinely happy at the thought of kissing Nabiki. In reality, he was smiling at the look of fear -quickly giving way to outright panic- on Nabiki's face. This would teach her to mess with him like that!

"Y-y-you can't be serious!" Nabiki gasped. Ranma simply beamed back at her, smirking inwardly.

"Why, Nabiki, have ya changed yer mind about this whole engagement thing?" Ranma sighed melodramatically. "An' I thought ya were different. Well, if ya really want me to go back to Akane…"

"No! I never said anything about that!" Nabiki blurted, her sudden fear that she wouldn't get any money out of this whatsoever momentarily blotting out her fright at Ranma actually acting romantic towards her of all people. Then she realized what she had just said, and that fear came back full-fold- increasing all the more when Ranma actually leaned his face in towards her, looking her right in the eyes as he did so.

"As ya wish." Ranma murmured. Now, normally, he never would have been able to anything remotely like this, at least partially because he would have realized what lay in the future. However, Ranma's emotions could override his self-preservation instincts (and, to his detriment, often had), and this was just such a case; Ranma was so ticked off at Nabiki, so caught up in his intentions for revenge, that he had managed to do something for her that Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi would have killed to be able to do: break through his fears of intimacy and actually initiate a kiss. Now, to be fair, it wasn't really much of a kiss- a swift, chaste, embarrassed pressing of his closed lips to hers, but it was more than Ranma had ever done for any other girl. After a moment, Ranma immediately released Nabiki and drew back from her as though she had been red-hot.

Nabiki was in no shape to notice, her mind having more or less shut down at having been actually kissed. For several seconds she stood there, before mental cogs interlocked and began to whir and click again. Robotically she moved several paces, then took off running down the steps and away from Ranma as fast as she could. Ranma blinked, and then smirked, unconsciously touching his fingers to his lips.

"That felt good." He spoke aloud. He was referring, of course, to the feeling of finally turning the tables on Nabiki, but to a listener, he was obviously referring to the kiss. At least, that was how Akane interpreted it.

Akane watched as Ranma walked away, eyes wide with disbelief, "No...he can't have...he actually kissed her..." Akane leaned against the wall, a strange feeling of fear welling up as the image of Ranma kissing Nabiki flashed before her eyes, could it be that she was going to lose Ranma to Nabiki? The fear spiked and tears came to Akane's eyes before she shook her head in denial, there was no way that Ranma had the romantic ability to do something like that, it had to be some trick by Nabiki! Anger buoying her back onto her feet, Akane stormed off. She'd show Nabiki that she wasn't fooled, no way!

Nabiki finally stopped running when she reached a relatively deserted part of the school ground, partially because she had to stop or she would have collapsed from exhaustion- she was no great shakes at physical exercise and she had just run faster, further and harder than she had in... well, years. After managing to inhale enough deep breathes to get her heartbeat back under control, she faced a nearby tree and slapped her cheeks twice to ensure she was awake.

"What the fuck just happened?" She spat, the fact she would swear a good example of just how unnerved she was. Who'd have ever though Ranma, Mr. Sexually Repressed, would be able to actually kiss a girl? And her of all people! She knew that she wasn't unattractive by any stretch, but she also was secure enough in her self-image to admit that she wasn't so hot when put next to Shampoo, Ukyo or Kodachi. Hell, the blue-haired Chinese girl was the only girl, out of all of those Ranma hung around with, even more stacked than Ranma's own girl form was- even Kasumi, a good three years the psuedo-girl's senior, wasn't as big as Ranma's girl form. So why on earth had he kissed her? Could he...?

"No! Get a grip Nabiki! You just... lost control of the situation, that's all. It was just a fluke. No way he'd have the guts to try something like that again- hell, never knew he had the guts to try it in the first place. Oh, he's gonna pay dearly for that! I'm going to make him beg to pay a mere ten thousand yen to break up with him!"

Her confidence restored, Nabiki turned and strode off towards the building as the end of break bell rang.

The rest of the school day passed by with little incident, though Ranma noticed that Akane was extremely quiet, not even attempting to hit him when Ukyo started talking to him. Eventually the school day ended and as Ranma and Akane left, they were joined by an equally quiet Nabiki, who refused to meet Ranma's eyes, which elicited a small spark of triumph while Akane seemed to go out of her way to ignore the both of them.

By the time the trio arrived back at the Tendo Dojo, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Kasumi blinked in surprise when Ranma simply flopped down in front of the TV while Nabiki and Akane retreated to their rooms, "Oh my, now what could have happened to upset them?"

Inside the safety of her bedroom, Nabiki began running through her plan, 'Okay, today had to have been a fluke. All I have to do is turn on the charm again and I'll have him handing over his life savings and first born child to break up with me!" Smiling to herself, Nabiki lightly got out of her school clothes and into something a little more casual… and tight.

Ranma was calmly watching TV when he felt a pair of slim arms slither casually around his neck and down onto his shoulder, a familiar voice purring into his ear as metaphorical icy fingers began sliding up his spine and goosebumps pimpled his arms.

"Watcha watching Ranma?" Nabiki asked, smirking in the privacy of her head; this would make him back down.

Ranma mentally cursed; it figured that one performance wouldn't have put her off. If anything he was certain that Nabiki was going to try and wear him down with the flirting. For a brief moment Ranma contemplated simply paying up, but then he remember how flustered he had made Nabiki during school and decided on his course of action. Let the war of flirting begin…

Ranma smiled and tilted his head up to meet the smirking face of Nabiki, her eyes sharp and predatory, "Nothing interesting, now that you're here."

Nabiki's heart skipped a beat, ever so slightly, and Ranma's expression took on the same predatory nature as Nabiki's own had been at the sight of a slight twitch in Nabiki's eyes, and, to his surprise, the slightest hint of a blush.

When Genma and Soun walked into the living room after another day of trying to cheat each other at board games, the two men froze upon seeing Ranma in the living room with Nabiki all but sitting in his lap. The two were trying to be casual about it, but the air was practically crackling with tension.

Soun was about to step in, when he felt someone grab his sleeve and turned to find Akane standing there looking at the pair with a neutral expression, before she regarded her father with the same expression and shook her head. Soun blinked, glanced over at the two, and specifically at the (fake, if he was any judge) smile on Ranma's face before he glanced at Akane as if asking a question, to which his youngest simply nodded. Genma watched all this, then shrugged; at least his son was actually enjoying his rightful fiancée's company for once, so who was he to complain?

Dinner was by far the most bizarre experience that night.

"Mind passing the soy sauce Saotome?"

As Ranma did so, he found that meeting flirting with flirting was working rather well. Nabiki seemed to be retreating slightly, though he knew that she was far from done. Truth be told, there had been moments where she had managed to make him fall back as well. Still, if he could keep this up, then Ranma was certain Nabiki would cave. Hell, maybe she would actually offer to pay him to stop flirting with her. Of course, this would mean letting go of a fun new pastime for him but trade-offs have to happen. Besides, it'd be nice to have her pay him for once.

Nabiki meanwhile, was reeling from how well Ranma had responded to her flirting. This was not part of the plan! Ranma was a simpering jock who wouldn't know a romantic moment if it bit him on the butt! So how the hell was he keeping up with her? Desperately, she continued her 'assault', only for Ranma to riposte to every flirtation, every touch. It finally got the point where Akane suddenly shot up from her seated position, glowering so strongly with rage and the implication of violence that Nabiki found herself cringing back, just like Ranma was doing. Mysteriously, however, Akane didn't explode- instead she simply stormed off to the yard, where she began audibly hurling herself into one of her usual training sessions.

Both of the teens sighed loudly in relief; they had no idea how they had dodged that bullet, but they didn't intend to look a gift horse in the mouth. Neither of them tried to flirt again that night, as they didn't want to risk something like that happening again. Still, when each went to bed after dinner, both privately vowed that while this first battle had been a draw, they would be the one to win the war!

'Two days! Two days of him actually flirting back! When did that bastard grow some balls? Ugh, I gotta get him off of my hands, and quick, or I'm going to go nuts!' Nabiki thought furiously to herself, a faint blush of anger dusting her cheeks. Even trying things at school hadn't persuaded him to halt his own offensive- which meant that rumors were sweeping like wildfire. Nabiki had to do something- her entire reputation was being torn to shreds here!

Her blush grew slightly more perceptible as she passed by some teens whispering, and actually having the audacity to continue whispering despite the fact she was walking past them. And she knew all too well what they were whispering about. Enough was enough; she had to find Akane, and get her to take Ranma back! Things were so desperate, she was actually contemplating letting Akane have him for... she shuddered in equal parts horror, disgust and loathing... for free.

Nabiki finally managed to corner Akane during their lunchbreak and immediately launched into her spiel.

"Look, Akane, here's the deal- I know that you want Ranma back. And I'm willing to give him back- all I ask is that you pay me five hundred yen to cover any expenses that I incur in arranging the transfer." Nabiki wheedled.

"Look, Nabiki, you don't have to pretend any more." Akane said sadly, much to her elder sister's confusion. "I... I know that I was stupid, when it came to Ranma. I know I shouldn't have given him up like that... but you're my sister. I'm not going to hurt you by making you break up with the guy you... you love... just for my own selfish pride. You, you deserve some happiness." She continued, closing her eyes as a single tear trickled down her cheek.

Nabiki, to put it bluntly, was dumbstruck. Had Akane been eating her own cooking or something? There was no way she could believe that Ranma…! And her! The whole idea was absurd! Ranma was a stupid jock with a big ego and a bad case of foot-in-mouth- Nabiki was a modern girl, with no time for such stupid outdated concepts like honor or arranged marriages. Sure, the guy wasn't too bad looking... she quickly clamped a lid on that train of thought. It was time to bring out the biggest gun of all: The Truth.

"Whoa there, Akane, you got the wrong idea about me and Ranma- I'm not in love with him! Hell, I don't even like him! I took up the whole fiancée thing simply because I thought I could get at least one of you to pay me to break up- I expected everything to have gone back to normal by now. But I think Ranma must have gotten zapped with love magic again, because he started flirting back- I have no idea what he's up to, but I'm certainly not in love with him! Look, just give me four hundred yen and I'm sure I can get him to come back to you!" Nabiki finished, looking at Akane expectantly.

Akane stared at Nabiki and for a few moments there was nothing but silence before suddenly, she smirked sadly as though she had heard a joke, "You actually think that you can make him come back to me? Nabiki, I can't let you do that. Even if I took the engagement back, that jerk is still going to flirt with you and this time it'll be behind my back and everyone will make it out to be a big scandal." She shook her head, "I can't do that to you Nabiki, so just...just enjoy it okay?"

Nabiki felt control of the situation slip away. "No, wait, Akane, you don't understand! There's nothing going on between us! I swear I wouldn't deceive you like that!"

Akane frowned slightly, "Then just what is going on then Nabiki? Is this a prank you're playing on your gullible little sister? Or are you just in denial that you actually feel something for him? Or maybe you're actually telling the truth but frankly even if you were, I wouldn't take him back, not after everything that's happened, the rumors would be too much to deal with."

Nabiki's mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came forth. She knew her sister could be blind to reality on occasion, even paranoid at times, but never had that factor actually worked against her. All she could do was stare dumbstruck at Akane, as if trying to convince her to see sense with her expression alone.

Akane regarded Nabiki with a sense of calm that she actually felt. Finally she stepped around Nabiki as though making to leave before she turned to her elder sister, "I hope you can make it work out better than I did." With that, Akane started walking away from Nabiki.

Nabiki's heart plummeted- she had to make Akane see sense! She lunged forward and grabbed Akane's shoulder. "Akane, listen to me!"

Akane's hand whipped around and there was a loud crunch as Nabiki could only stare in horror at her younger sister's fist planted squarely in the concrete only a few centimeters from her head. Akane shook her head slowly as her body shivered slightly, "Don't, Nabiki...just...don't...please."

Nabiki simply whimpered once, horror and disbelief overwhelming her conscious mind as Akane withdrew her fist, shrugged off Nabiki's hand and walked away. In her wake, Nabiki promptly fainted, having overloaded on the reality of the situation.

"Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT! Stupid, blind, idiotic...!" Nabiki voiced a scream of frustration and hurled a nearby garbage can further down the alley in which she was venting her fury. Like an animal she lashed out blindly, screaming and swearing and battering futilely at her surroundings until her rage was spent and she was gasping for breath and calmness. Finally, she drew herself upright, draped herself in the tattered remnants of her pride, and stalked off- fine then, if Akane was going to be an idiot about this, then she really had only one choice left. There was no way in hell that she was going to remain engaged to Ranma, and if she knew Akane foisting him off onto Kasumi was now impossible- Akane would undoubtedly tell their elder sister, and maybe even their father, that Nabiki and Ranma were now in love with each other. And they would believe her, just like they always did, which meant that she wouldn't be able to transfer the engagement to Kasumi.

So, her only real option was to sell off her engagement to Ranma to one of his other fiancées, which would solve both her problems at once: getting Ranma off of her hands, and getting the money she so craved. Now, all she had to do was find a way to let her 'customers' know what was going on...

As she left the alley, she noticed a familiar face; the pint-sized mutate manservant of the Kuno estate, Sasuke Sarugakure. Smirking to herself, good humor beginning to re-infuse her being, she approached the diminutive ninja.

"Sasuke," she said, catching his attention.

"Ah, yes, lady Nabiki?" He humbly replied, bowing formally to her.

"How would you like to do a little job for me?" Nabiki asked. Seeing Sasuke tense, she hastened to alleviate his worries, lest he try and flee- pitiful as he was by Ranma's standards, the midget martial artist was still faster and stealthier than Nabiki by a great margin. "No, it's nothing that'll get you in trouble- in fact, this might make your mistress happy. Very happy indeed."

"Y-you're sure about that, lady Nabiki?" Sasuke asked. This sounded suspicious, but he lived to serve the Kuno family, and making Kodachi happy would make him happy. Not least of all because it would mean less pain from her.

Nabiki's grin widened. 'Hook, line and sinker…' "Now, listen; I need you to talk to Kodachi, as well as Shampoo and even Ukyo. Tell them to come to this cafe-" she rattled off the address of one of her favorite eating establishments "as I have something to talk to them about. Oh, and tell them to bring cash. I don't deal with credit."

Sasuke looked puzzled at that, but he nodded, bowed again, then vanished in an eyeblink.

When the time came, three girls arrived in front of a cafe, and they were surprised and not exactly happy to see each other.

"What are Spatula Girl and Ribbon Girl doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Hmmph, obviously you peasants received the same message as myself from that mercenary Tendo. She could have at least made sure that I did not have to interact with the likes of you."

Before an argument or worse could break out, Nabiki arrived, "Ah, good, you're all here. Come on; let's get this over with." The three ladies glanced at each other for a moment, before shrugging and following Nabiki inside the cafe.

Sitting down at a table away from the other customers but relatively close to the entrance, Nabiki started off her plan, "Right then, let me be blunt. I've had enough of being engaged to Ranma and now I've decided to cut my losses and sell him to you...for a reasonably competitive price of course."

The three groaned, so this was why Sasuke had delivered a stipulation to bring cash, but the thought of actually purchasing the engagement to Ranma was very tempting, so they waited for Nabiki to state the price, figuring that this would likely be a bidding war.

"So then ladies, shall we start the bidding at say... ten-thousand yen?" The three on the other side of the table sputtered in shock at the huge price Nabiki was declaring as a starting value, the girl noticing, "Come on now, this is a rare opportunity and a valuable one at that. After all, whoever wins this gets not only Ranma, but the fact that they are his real fiancée and the others get left in the dust."

"I can't believe this!" Ukyo declared. "How can you trivialize our feelings for Ranma by asking us to pay money for him like... like... like some common streetwalker!"

"She right! Love is something too, too precious to put against money. Love is something all womans search for, that womans can cherish for whole life." Shampoo proclaimed dramatically, making elaborate gestures for emphasis and earning motions of agreement from Ukyo and disdain from Nabiki.

"And so speak the peasants who can no more afford to pay than they can hope to improve themselves." Noted Kodachi smugly. "I will pay fifteen thousand yen for my darling Ranma."

"What!" Yelled the other two girls simultaneously, prompting Nabiki to smirk; that seemed to have been the hook that was needed.

"Well, if that's the way ya want to play it, then fine- I'll bid sixteen thousand!" Ukyo declared.

"Shampoo pay seventeen and half thousand!"

And thus the bidding began in earnest. But, from the outset, it was clear that Nabiki was trying to prolong the bidding as much as possible, and the fact that, unlike her usual professional demeanor, she was blatantly treating her engagement to Ranma as something to be sold without any regard- and, by extension, treating Ranma as though he was simply a piece of meat to be tossed to hungry dogs.

This, coupled with the realization that they were those hungry dogs lit a spark in their hearts. An angry one. Finally, Ukyo had enough, both with the extortionist amounts that were building up from the 'bidding' and the cavalier way Nabiki was treating this event.

"You know something just occurred to me, sugar? How is Ranma going to take being sold off like a cheap necklace? Did you tell him what you were planning?"

Nabiki snorted, "Like I'm going to let him ruin any more chances for me to get a profit out of this sinking boat. I don't give a damn what Ranma thinks because quite frankly, he deserves this, all of this, just like he deserves whichever one of you wins so long as you pay up."

Kodachi then, surprisingly, leaned back and crossed her arms, "Then I do not believe that I will be bidding any further amounts, because, quite frankly, your lack of professionalism this day, Nabiki Tendo, about this farce of an auction is a cause for concern." Ukyo and Shampoo nodded their agreement and that was enough to set Nabiki off.

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course I'm bring professional! I want him out of my life so he can stop kissing me!" There was a gasp from the three at that, and Nabiki's hands flew up to her mouth, eyes wide in horror at her slip.

It was impossible: Nabiki, getting kissed by Ranma? But that was impossible! Ranma never showed any sort of romantic intentions with them...not any one of them but instead he kissed Nabiki... and then flirted with her. Could it be that Ranma actually liked Nabiki and only now began expressing his feelings? And she was going to sell him just like that?

Fuel dumped on the spark and Nabiki saw the way their thoughts were turning. Before they could react, the girl was out the door and running for her life. Several seconds later the entrance of the cafe exploded and three very ticked off girls were in hot pursuit, mad enough to maim, just to start.

Ranma, at this time, was walking down the street, humming to himself as he did so. It felt good to be the manipulator instead of the manipulated for once, and he was sure that Nabiki would cave in soon. He was frankly kind of surprised she hadn't given up already; who knew she was so stubborn? He was jolted from his introspection by the sudden sound of a girl screaming.

Nabiki's lungs burned and her legs ached from the speed with which she was running, but she didn't dare slow down for even a second, as she could hear her pursuers catching up, shrieking like demons out for blood as they chased her down. She had to keep going, but her body was wailing at her- she couldn't keep this up, but if she fell she'd die. It hurt, but she couldn't...

"Come back here, you little witch!" Ukyo shouted, hurling some of her spatulas at Nabiki; though they failed to inflict any real damage to her, they did manage to knock her off-balance and she promptly fell on her face. She pushed herself slowly up with her arms, looking back at the approaching girls with unmasked fear in her eyes as they grinned wickedly and raised their chosen weapons to strike.

"Die!" They shouted as one, and as one they struck.

Nabiki screamed, closing her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see her death... but though there was the sound of flesh being struck, she felt no pain. Cautiously, she opened one eye, then both of them flew open as she gaped in shock.

"Ranma?!" She squeaked, with her three attackers echoing her in shock. Ranma quivered slightly, having taken a simultaneous blow from Kodachi's clubs, Shampoo's chúi, and Ukyo's spatula, but managed to shake them free and look each of the other fiancées squarely in the eye.

"What's going on here?" He demanded.

"Step out of the way, Ranma-darling; this deceitful little harridan needs to be punished." Kodachi commanded in an imperious tone.

"And let you beat a weakling like Nabiki to a pulp? Not a chance." Ranma retorted, inspiring equal parts disbelief (was he really intent on protecting her?) and anger (who was he calling a weakling?) from Nabiki.

"Is rumor true then? Has Ranma really fallen in love with despicable mercenary girl?" Shampoo demanded.

"Have you lost your mind? Me, in love, with her?" Ranma shouted, pointing at Nabiki for emphasis, prompting an unconscious displeased expression from her. "This was all her dumb idea, I was just along for the ride. But anyway, I can't just stand back and let you guys beat her to death!"

"We weren't going to kill her! Just… put her in the hospital for a while." Ukyo pointed out, a hint of meekness entering her tone.

"And how is that any better?" Ranma snapped.

"Why is you protecting her? She try to sell you off!" Shampoo asked angrily.

"I was kind of expecting her to try that, though I admit I never thought she'd try that with you guys- I'd have thought her focus would be on selling me back to Akane…" Ranma commented, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"Oh, so that was your game, was it? Swindle us out of extortionate amounts of money, then hand Ranma over to your miserable little sister, you lying, cheating piece of…" Ukyo snarled, her aura beginning to burn as she tightened her grip on her spatula, the others likewise readying their own melee weapons.

"No I wasn't! The deal was legit!" Nabiki cried out, instinctively cowering for protection behind Ranma. "Akane doesn't want Ranma anymore- she's convinced herself that it just won't ever work!"

There was a moment of eerie silence, as though the entire world had simply stopped moving. Hesitantly, as the implications of what she had just said sank in, Nabiki looked up at Ranma's face. It vanished a split second after she did so, but she could have sworn she saw an expression of dismay and heartbreak upon Ranma's face. But it evidently had been there, given how the other girls reacted.

"Well isn't that typical! We give you all the love we can, and you still mope over that violent, arrogant, incompetent girl who hits you all the time and has never once claimed that she loves you! What is wrong with you!?" Ukyo shouted angrily.

Nabiki could practically feel Ranma's spine bristling as he responded to that. "Akane might be a violent tomboy, but at least she never hits anyone who can't take it! And what are you talking about, 'giving me love'? When do you ever give me anything besides trouble?"

"Why you ungrateful jackass! We cook food for you, try to spend time with you, and let you know all about our feelings for you, yet you never give us so much as the time of day in return! We give and give and give, and you just take it all and shove us away so you can go running back to Akane." She spoke Akane's name in a voice filled with bitterness and mockery.

"You don't know anything about me- how can you say that you love me?!" Ranma snapped back.

"We know nothing about you because you won't tell us anything! It's not lack of interest that keeps us from knowing anything about you; it's the fact you don't want to share anything of yourself with anyone other than Akane! And you're really in position to talk- just what do you know about us, huh? Come on, we were childhood friends before this whole engagement business- what's my favorite color? My favorite food? What do I like to do as hobbies? Well?"

Ranma was silent for a minute, clearly unable to answer. Ukyo smirked in dark triumph.

"Now that I think about it, maybe you and Nabiki deserve each other- you're both heartless, greedy, manipulative assholes!" With that, she sheathed her combat spatula on her back, turned around and strode viciously away.

Shampoo was next to follow in her footsteps. "You no is man Shampoo fell in love with. Not now." She told Ranma over her shoulder.

"Ranma, I believe it would be best if we did not speak again." Kodachi told him haughtily, then strode off with her nose in the air.

Ranma simply stood there as the three walked away for several seconds, then Nabiki saw him slump forwards with a glassy emptiness in his eyes. Nabiki stepped forward and reached a hand out, "Ranma?" Her hand touched his shoulder and Nabiki jerked back as Ranma dropped to the ground in a faint.

"Ranma!" Nabiki found herself crying in concern. She rushed over to Ranma's side, grabbing his shoulders to stop his head hitting the ground. She knelt with the fainted teen in the alleyway, concern for his well-being overriding her usual attitude.

_In the Prime timestream, Ranma could understand, at least in theory, what his counterpart was going through. The sad truth of the matter was that Ukyo, Shampoo and even Kodachi comprised the vast majority of his social circle; other than Hiroshi and Daisuke, whom he wasn't particularly close to anyway, most of the kids his age avoided him. With them apparently hating him now, and with Akane no longer wanting anything to do with him, the Ranma of this timestream was alone. He wondered for a second how it was that this timestream managed to flow in such a manner that its Ranma did end up in a relationship with Nabiki, and promptly returned his full attention to the Eye as it showed him a point later in that day, after a somber dinner at the Tendo Dojo…_

Normally, Nabiki would never have dreamed of climbing onto the roof. It wasn't that she was scared of heights or anything, it was just that there didn't really seem to be any point in it- even tomboyish Akane hadn't bothered climbing there when she was younger. But things were definitely not normal around the Tendo dojo, and the fact she had actually taken the ladder and climbed up onto the roof was the least strange thing to happen that day. Standing up cautiously -she didn't fear heights but she didn't want to fall; once that week was more than enough, thank you- she made her way hesitantly towards the hunched form of Ranma Saotome, now 'officially' her fiancé. As though he had sensed her presence (and she wondered if maybe he had), he shifted and turned to face her, his expression still that unsettlingly calm mask that it had been in since he'd regained consciousness… wait… was that a tear she saw glinting in the moonlight?

"Hello, Nabiki. Come to hurt me more?"

It was harder to say what shocked Nabiki more; Ranma's choice of words or his tone, which mingled acceptance with, perhaps, eagerness. She stared at him in open shock and horror, prompting Ranma to sneer at her.

"What? Too lazy to finish it?"

"What are you talking about?" Nabiki asked in disbelief.

"Well, you've already ruined my life for some lousy money, I figured you'd want to finish things. Though how even you could make my life any more miserable beats me." Ranma replied drolly.

"Have you gone insane?! I did nothing of the sort!" Nabiki answered, just barely managing to keep her voice down so that they weren't overheard by the others inside.

"No? Then why do all of this?" Ranma asked, a tinge of anger infecting his words, Nabiki flinching back. "But then, you don't understand at all what you've done ta me, do ya?" Ranma inhaled slowly, then looked at Nabiki, his mask cracking so that she could see sorrow in his eyes. "Do you know why I never picked one of the girls chasin' me?"

Nabiki shook her head, deciding not to answer in hopes of drawing out just why Ranma was so upset by this latest development with the other girls.

"Because choosing one of them meant losing the others." Ranma replied simply. "…You don't understand, do you? Let me ask you something; how many friends do I have, Nabiki? How many people my age can I spend time with?"

He waited, and when no answer was forthcoming, smirked bitterly. "That's right. Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, even Kodachi- they were the only ones I could even consider friends. Oh, there's Ryoga; he's my rival so I guess you could call him my friend, but how often is he around, eh? As for Hiroshi and Daisuke… those two attached themselves to me shortly after I started going to Furinkan, yeah, but I wouldn't call them friends. And now, 'cause of you, I got nobody."

"Why?" Nabiki asked hesitantly. "Why can't you go and make up with Ukyo or the others? I mean, yes, I have to admit that Akane is a hopeless case, but surely the others…? After all, I'm not going to hold to this stupid engagement our fathers cooked up-"

"It's not the engagement that's the problem." Ranma interjected, anger translating into sorrow once again. "I couldn't make it up to those three, not after what they did."

"What they did?" Nabiki asked in confusion.

"…I guess you wouldn't know. A martial artist is not supposed to prey upon the weak. I couldn't be friends with someone who tried to murder a non-martial artist… even if you were the intended victim. Protecting those who can't protect themselves is one of the basic creeds of Anything-Goes Martial Arts- I couldn't just crawl back to them because I'm lonely, not after what they tried to do."

Nabiki could only stare at Ranma as the realisation of what he had just said, of what she had done, sank in, guilt spreading its slimy tentacles into the cracks it left behind. Ranma shuffled around so that he was no longer facing towards Nabiki.

"Ranma…? I… I'm-" Nabiki hesitantly ventured.

"Just leave me alone." Ranma said sullenly. "I saved your life, but that don't make us friends."

"Maybe not… but that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends." Nabiki commented.

That got Ranma's attention, but as he whipped around he saw Nabiki climbing back down to the ground. Had he imagined that? Had he really heard what she had said?

In the Prime timestream, Ranma-Prime barely needed the Eye to deduce what would happen from this event. Guilty at what her actions had cost him, Nabiki tried to become Ranma's friend. Ranma, lonely as he was, accepted that friendship. This the Eye confirmed, though Ranma-Prime noticed that it took some time for the relationship, and its attendant timestream, to truly stabilise and he guessed that few if any other timestreams with Nabiki would develop into similar relationships. Having completed his viewing of this timestream, the Eye returned to its display of mists as he wondered where to direct his attention next…

_And that's this chapter finished at last. Votes will be tallied from this episode and added to those from the previous chapter to determine which oneshot will be next on the list. Additionally, in other news, I've made a forum to accompany this story; Suggest timelines to view, vote on what oneshots should be expanded into full stories, discuss ideas for said timelines, and give me your opinions on how Ranma-Prime might act once the storm is over and he resumes his life. Anyway, here's a complete list of as-yet untouched oneshot concepts to vote for- all of them will be done eventually, but the more you vote for one, the sooner it'll show up. Also, Gideon020 and I have a special chapter planned for once we've written at least one oneshot for each of the 'canon' non-Akane matchups (Nabiki, Kasumi, Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi)._

_What If…  
-Soun hadn't interrupted Ranma flirting with Kasumi while he was wearing the Lady-Killer Bandaid_

_- Akane's hose pushed Ranma out of the ring in his battle with Kodachi_

_-While Shampoo & Ukyo were fighting over the enchanted Ranma during the Love Bandage fiasco ("Ranma the Lady-Killer"), Ranma tried to stop things by signing both of their marriage licenses while they're distracted_

_- Nabiki never found out about Ranma's revenge plan and went on the date he asked her on instead of sending Akane_

_- Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode_

_-Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time_

_-Kodachi snuck back to the Tendo house that first night and found the still-paralyzed Ranma abandoned on the roof_

_-Ranma found out how hurt Ukyo was after "Swimming with Psychos"_

_-Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo_

_-Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel_

_-Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki_

_-During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do_

_-Shampoo snapped her fingers before the cat sneezed when using the Kirahashi Mushroom_

_-Kaori won the Takeout Race_

_-Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima_

_-Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China_

_-Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second_

_-Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer_

_-When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face_

_-When Tofu knocked out Ranma's legs, Akane hadn't given Ranma a piggyback_

_-When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, one of them replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride_

_-Ranma kissed Shampoo back when she gave him the_ _"Kiss of Marriage"_


	6. A note for the readers

Normally, I wouldn't add a 'pseudo-chapter' to a story of my design, but as more than one reviewer has commented that they don't know the anime, and I even had one ask me for 'episode synopsis', I decided that I might as well create a brief overview for each of the anime-exclusive storylines I'll be using as my bases in the future. You can also find most if not all Ranma ½ anime material on Youtube in dubbed or subbed form.

Firstly though, I just want to address those who claimed it wasn't right for Ranma's non-Tendo interests to give upon him so easily: who said that they were renouncing their engagement? They left him in disgust, which they have done before in the anime canon, but nothing was said about them giving up their pursuit of Ranma. It's just that Ranma cannot accept their pursuit in that timeline, because he couldn't bring himself to marry someone who'd try to kill an innocent bystander.

Tai Khan, I admit I'm not particularly fond of any of the Tendo girls, but why did you feel I was biased towards Nabiki in the previous chapter? The way she acts is canonical; she has absolutely no concern for Ranma whatsoever (selling semi-nude photos of him to Kuno anyone?), but she gets angry when he does something that could inconvenience her- see the Ranma vs. Ryoga episode in the first season, where she gets furious when it appears Ranma is going to win, thus costing her money, and she promptly works Ryoga up into a potentially lethal fury to try and save her cash. However, for all that, none of her actions (or, indeed, the nastier/stupider actions of **any** Tendos) have ever had any real consequences, so it's only natural that such a fallout would be jarring enough to make her guilty. I won't be doing any other Ranma/Nabikis though, because I feel it takes too much for her to change enough that they could work together.

Anyway, on with the episodes…  
"Ranma the Lady-Killer"- Season 5, Episode 14  
In this episode, Shampoo comes to Furinkan High after a basketball game with the intent of blackmailing Ranma into agreeing on a date with her by using a cat, something she has never done before and never does again. After a brief confrontation with Ukyo, she does just that, which inspires Ukyo to pull the same trick- however, while the girls are squabbling over the cat, it falls out of their hands and lands on Ranma's face, scratching him badly.

At home, Akane tends to Ranma's wounds; unknowingly putting a bandaid on him Happosai from China bought, which is impregnated with a powerful love potion/aphrodisiac. Ranma begins to sweet-talk Akane, until they are interrupted by Soun & Genma and Ranma promptly flees the scene. He begins wondering what just happened and whether either of them meant what they were saying, until he catches sight of Kasumi and is compelled to sweet-talk her. Soun interrupts them and Ranma flees into town, where he begins wondering just what the heck is happening to him… until he spots some girls passing by and the bandaid goes into action again.

Shampoo and Ukyo, meanwhile, have been fighting all day and still haven't come to a clear winner. As they pause to take a breather, neither is happy to see Ranma walk past and flirt with some girls. Both of them confront him, and he ends up offering to take both of them on a date, which prompts them to start fighting again to see who gets that date. Shampoo seizes the advantage while Ukyo is looking away and pins her to a tree with some forks. Shampoo and Ranma enjoy a romantic boat ride, and almost end up kissing, but Ukyo frees herself and cuts the boat in half with her spatula before their lips actually touch. This Shampoo a cat in the middle of the lake and Ranma on the shore with Ukyo, where he promptly walks off to date with her. Ukyo's "date" is less romantic, because she takes him near some tennis courts and the girls playing there distract him. He manages to apologize to her and goes to get her a drink, but while Ukyo comments to herself that Ranma is acting weird, though should she really look a gift date in the mouth, a human once more and very ticked off Shampoo comes onto the scene.

Meanwhile, at the Tendos, Nabiki has seen Ranma's flirting with the unknown girls from earlier in the episode and she reports this to Soun, Genma and Akane, none of whom believe her at first, but all of whom go to investigate. This leads to a major confrontation between all parties concerned at the park, where Akane finally slaps Ranma unconscious after seeing him start flirting with Nabiki.

In the wake of things, Akane locks herself in her room to sulk, while Soun & Genma hogtie and gag Ranma before dumping him in the dojo. Happosai goes to mock Ranma, and recognizes that the bandaid is what's up- unfortunately for him, he makes the mistake of gloating about how "the best is yet to come" as Shampoo & Ukyo come onto the scene. They interrogate the old pervert and, upon learning the truth about Ranmas behavior, immediately start fighting over who will get to claim this golden opportunity. Inside, in one of her nicer moods, Akane sets Ranma free and asks if he meant any of what he said to her that day; before Ranma can say anything, Shampoo bursts into the dojo, grabs him, and smashes her way out, Ukyo in hot pursuit. Ukyo, for some reason, gives Akane a motivational speech before she leaves, and this prompts Akane to come and follow.

At a skyscraper under construction, Shampoo tries to get Ranma to sign her marriage license, but is disrupted by Ukyo, who promptly tries to do the same thing, only for her license to be knocked out of her grasp. Ukyo & Shampoo get ready to fight as Akane comes onto the scene, whereupon the two teens reveal the truth about the bandaid. Akane's attempt to break up the fight, by diving between the two, causes her to get knocked over the edge and Ranma dives off to save her, getting the bandaid knocked off in the process. Ukyo & Shampoo go home in disgust at this waste of a day, and when Ranma & Akane get home, they get grounded by Soun for being out so late.

"Ukyo's Skirt! The Great Girly-Girl Gambit"- Season 3, Episode 23  
It's fall tourism season, and a brochure she found tempts Ukyo to go and take a trip to the mountains. When Ranma drops by to buy some food, she brings up the subject, tactfully implying that she'd like him to come along as well. Ranma agrees, but makes things clear that he has no idea about the romantic motivations behind Ukyo's requests. After he leaves in an argument with Akane, a hurt Ukyo thinks to herself about how Ranma barely acknowledges their engagement and insists on treating her like 'one of the guys'. Wondering if maybe a new look will make him start treating their relationship differently, she decides to try that.

The next day, just about every boy in school, even Kuno himself (who is the only one to recognize Ukyo straight away!), becomes infatuated with Ukyo, though to her dismay Ranma doesn't seem to realize anything. This leads to trouble; when she tries to get him alone so she can talk to him, they get chased around all day by the hornball freaks from Furinkan, and that evening Kodachi and Akane are not happy that Ranma has spending such time with Ukyo. Kodachi even arranges a French cuisine cook-off contest between herself, Akane and Ukyo to decide who gets Ranma once and for all. Shampoo bursts in just before the contest starts and demands to be allowed to compete.

When the contest is finished, they demand Ranma reach a verdict, though Ranma is unable to do so. Partially because he's distracted by the fact he's wondering how he ate a full-course meal prepared by Akane, in a style she doesn't know the first thing about, and hasn't gotten sick. But more because the hornballs, led by Tatewaki Kuno and Ryoga (the latter is furious at Ranma for 'cheating on Akane'), burst into the gym and brutally mug Ranma. While Akane and Kodachi start arguing over who gets to tend him, Ukyo is upset that she's caused so much trouble for Ranma and gives up on the 'girly-girl gambit', returning to the status quo.

"Clash of the Delivery Girls! The Martial Arts Takeout Race!"- Season 2, Episode 4  
An anime mutation of a story from the manga, this version of the MA Takeout Race is set before Shampoo returns to Nerima. It turns out that, shortly after their 'pilgrimage' started, Genma traded Ranma's hand in marriage to the 2-year-old daughter of the head of the Daikoku School of Martial Arts Takeout in exchange for food for his empty belly (specifically, a roasted fish, a bowl of rice, and two slices of pickled vegetables). Now, Daikoku and his daughter Kaori have come to the Tendo Dojo seeking that which was promised to them (Genma stole Ranma back immediately after he ate his fill and Daikoku's back was turned).

Kaori Daikoku might be unique amongst the "love interests" that have shown up in both canons, because she is the only one to actually defend him from assault by Akane. For some inexplicable reason, she decides that Akane has some slight feelings for Ranma and offers to do a deal; the two will compete in a Martial Arts Takeout Race, and the winner will get Ranma as their husband. She clearly outclasses Akane, but Akane manages to fight on until they reach a bridge, where Kaori decides to stop playing and ensnares her by the throat with the "Ramen Round-Up Noodle Noose". Akane is helpless, reduced to begging Ranma to save her- Ranma hesitates, seemingly because the race's rules demands he turn into a girl again (though he might partially be hesitant because he realizes how unfair it is for him, the prize, to compete on Akane's behalf), but Genma kicks him into the river and she goes to Akane's aid.

Akane wins by an inch, literally, but only because Ranma-chan knocks Kaori to the ground and clings to her legs so she's forced to crawl along. And that's after she keeps the ramen bowl safe from Kaori's attacks. Kaori, for some reason, agrees that Akane truly won the challenge and she and her father leave and never come back.

"Two, Too Violent Girls! Ling-ling & Lung-lung"- Season 3, Episode 18  
Two 13-year-old twins from Shampoo's tribe of Chinese Amazons come to Japan seeking to hear from Shampoo about whether or not the "interloper" she dealt the Kiss of Death too has been defeated. Realizing that they evidently haven't heard about the true deal with Ranma, Shampoo goes to warn Ranma about their presence.

Initially, Ranma plans to avoid becoming a girl until they leave, but for their own insane reasons (perhaps because they proved too strong for the worthless wimps) Genma & Soun turn Ranma into a girl and give him to the twins. When they attack her, though, Shampoo interposes, going so far as to give them the Kiss of Death when they refuse to halt their advance.

Shampoo goes off to fight them, but loses, partially because she's trying to go easy on them, primarily because they unleash their new technique on her- the Dance of the Great Fire Dragon. Back at the Tendos, Akane suggests Ranma go and help Shampoo, while Ranma counters by pointing out how Shampoo will react to her/his assistance. When Cologne drops by to give Ranma a few pointed tips on how dangerous the twins can be, she/he finally goes to fight them.

It turns out that the "Dance of the Great Fire Dragon" technique is basically running around with a dragon puppet containing a built-in flamethrower and a cassette player that plays music that causes those who hear it to dance uncontrollably. Shampoo realizes that Ranma can avoid this effect by plugging up her ears and tells this to Ranma, but she needs Akane to sit on her back and, somehow, resist the music and plug up Ranma's ears for her before she can defeat the twins. Shampoo saves them from getting caught in the explosion of their ruined puppet, and they remorsefully agree to stop trying to kill Ranma. Remorse gives way to glee when Ranma's real identity is revealed to them, though we're told later that the Kiss of Marriage is apparently "first come, first served". The twins go home to China, Ranma forgets all about what Shampoo did for him in this episode, and everything is back to normal.

"Swimming with Psychos"- Season 5, Episode 19  
Another anime-ification of a manga story, though this story might actually have come first and the manga adapted it later. Akane Tendo is chosen to represent Furinkan in a swimming tournament, and she agrees to do so. Ranma confronts her on the stupidity of this privately, as she can't even swim, and Ukyo comes forward to offer to take her place instead, something that Ranma agrees to, as Ukyo is actually the best swimmer in school.

Akane absolutely refuses this idea, but while sulking around the pool, Principal Kuno shoves her into the water and it takes Ranma to save her. Upon hearing that Akane can't swim, the principal sadly declares that nobody can pass gym until they know how to swim, then decides to give Akane personal swimming lessons. This, naturally, leads to goofiness and trouble, as the principal's ideas of "swimming lessons" include Akane diving into the pool with a boulder on her back… while the salt-water filled pool is inhabited by a live shark, and a pair of goofy, poorly assembled automated costumes. Finally, Ranma suggests the idea of having Akane wear a half-dozen inner tubes at once, because she can kick strongly but can't stay afloat. Using this method, Akane wins the swimming tournament.

"Shampoo's Red Thread of Dread"- Season 4, Episode 19  
A Chinese peddler in occult trinkets and mystical reagents drops by the Nekohanten, evidently not for the first time either. This time, amidst his other goods, he has a Red Thread of Love; tie one end to your pinky and the other to someone else's pinky and the two of you will fall in love (it's implied that the magic only works if at least one of the linked persons actually does love the other and/or that the magic is based upon mirroring the feelings of the lover in the lovee). After five hours, the effect becomes permanent.

Naturally, Shampoo cannot resist buying it and immediately sneaks around to the Tendo Dojo to try and put it on Ranma. After a number of false starts, Shampoo finally succeeds in doing so when Akane distracts Ranma by splashing him with cold water for accepting Shampoo's offer of a game of cat's cradle and accusing him of making a big scene. Upon pulling the string taut, Ranma immediately becomes as lovesick for Shampoo as she is for her, even commenting to her (after getting changed back) that the sooner he's married to Shampoo, the sooner he can be rid of Akane.

Akane storms off and spends most of the episode sulking in her room, while outside Ukyo, Mousse and Kodachi try to sever the thread and Kuno does his best to help Ranma & Shampoo avoid them. Soun tries to persuade Akane to go and make things up with Ranma, even telling her to get down on her knees and beg him to come back (though, in the dub, he immediately recants his position when she is affronted by this). Kasumi realizes, thanks to Ranma & Shampoo's lingering around the Tendo Dojo (perhaps because of their desire to try and get Soun to call off the Tendo arrangement, until the mob forces them to flee), that the thread they now wear is responsible for the change in things, and Nabiki passes this on to Soun & Akane after selling it to Ukyo and Kodachi.

Akane, despite the fact she saw Shampoo put it on and admits that's why Ranma is acting the way he is, absolutely refuses to go and try to cut it. P-chan snatches the scissors from Soun, turns back into Ryoga and goes to cut the thread, but loses it after Shampoo points out Akane is Ryoga's by default if Ranma marries Shampoo instead. Akane finally has a vision of Ranma & Shampoo's wedding and, her ego/pride getting the best of her, finally decides to do something. She manages to cut the thread mere seconds before the effect would have been permanent, and Shampoo is somehow too shocked to turn her into a gory smear for her intervention. She and Ranma flee the church where Ranma & Shampoo were about to get married, and when Ranma asks her to explain just what has been going on all day (he has no memory of what happened while he was wearing the thread), she belts him across the face and tells him to 'think about it' when he asks why she did that.


	7. An Unlikely Union

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** I am so glad that the fandom is so civilized these days; I have yet to have a run in with one of the "Knight of the True Fiancée" loons I've seen mentioned in older Ranma/Non-Akane fanfics, and for that I'm eternally grateful. Anyway, here is the first (and, likely, last- not least of which because I've no other Kasumi-orientated 'roots' left) Ranma/Kasumi matchup.

Chapter 5: An Unlikely Union

Ranma-prime decided that he needed to look at a different timeline and after a few moments of thought, figured he might as well see a timeline involving him and Kasumi for a change and the mirror shifted to oblige him. After skimming through the various timelines, one caught his attention and he recognized it as the time that he had been wearing that so-called Lady Killer Bandage.

As he focused on the timeline, he saw the time where he had started to flirt with Kasumi but was interrupted early by Soun. On a whim, he decided to see what would have happened if Soun hadn't interrupted them. The eye paused, the scene on it flickering before everything restarted.

"You know what I don't get Kasumi?" Soun stopped as he heard Ranma's voice filter from the courtyard, "What I don't get is why you didn't take the engagement. I mean, I know I have some faults but then nobody's perfect." Soun didn't hear Kasumi's reply and was about to come in when a thought occurred to him. Why not listen and see how this plays out? Curiosity overriding his instinct to dash in for the defense of his eldest daughter, Soun Tendo leaned against the wall and listened in.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ranma calmly let a breath whistle through his teeth as Kasumi watched him out of the corner of her eye, "I couldn't take the engagement Ranma-kun. It just wasn't right." Ranma scoffed at that.

"Wasn't right? Kasumi, if there is anything that isn't right its me engaged to that paranoid brat that you call a youngest sister." Unknowing of Soun bristling nearby, Ranma continued before Kasumi could rebuff him, "It's true and frankly Nabiki wouldn't be any better. But you, we could have made it work. You're sensible and practical and while I admit I am not exactly the most mature person, I can be level-headed when I need to be. Hell, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I had actually been a given a choice, you would have been my first choice."

Kasumi blushed as Ranma sighed, "Oh well, guess I gotta settle for the Mistress of Hammers and her hobby of seeing if a man can reach the moon without a spacesuit." He grinned at Kasumi, "Want to give me a kiss for luck in case I don't make it?" Kasumi's blush deepened and just as Ranma was about to do the deed, that was when Soun had enough and stormed in.

"Ranma! Explain yourself! How dare you cheat on my lovely girl, with her own sister no less!" Soun bellowed, shaping his aura to render his head into a ghastly, looming monster to further emphasis his point. Both Ranma and Kasumi shrieked in fear at Soun's sudden explosion into the courtyard, and Soun immediately cancelled the technique in abashed shame- he hadn't meant to scare his precious Kasumi, after all. As he tried to comfort the upset girl, one of the very few times Kasumi had ever shown any emotion than her usual friendly obliviousness, Ranma snapped out of his dazed state as the bandaid's aphrodisiac wore off and he promptly fled, wondering why the hell he said something like that to Kasumi of all people.

Things... pretty much went the same way they had in the real world. Ranma wandered into the park, was accosted by Ukyo and Shampoo, went on a "half-date" with each of them in turn, was confronted by a ticked-off trio of Akane, Genma and Soun, was finally revealed to have been under the effects of the Lady-Killer Bandaid, and things went back to normal. For about a week. Though he didn't bring it up, Soun hadn't forgotten what he'd overheard Ranma telling Kasumi, and found himself wondering: while the Saotome/Tendo engagement was the right thing, was having Akane take up the duty of being Ranma's fiancée the right thing? Though the two had occasionally hinted at having some feelings for each other, they were so stubborn about the arrangement, and they fought so! Though it was primarily Ranma's fault, Soun had to admit that Akane did add some fuel to the flames on rare occasion. She had such a fiery temper, and she was so independent, and what's more she could be so very stubborn about something once she made her mind up on the subject. Whereas Kasumi... ah, Kasumi was the moon to Akane's sun. Gentle, peaceful, yet with a quiet, unspoken strength- why, she had even tamed the Evil Master!

What Ranma had said while under the effects of that cursed bandaid rang with truth; if Ranma had been engaged to Kasumi from the start, it was very likely they would have been married by now. Still, Soun's musings remained musings alone, until the day of the Argument...

It started simply enough with Akane once again giving Ranma the cold shoulder and supposedly teaching Ranma a lesson, when Ranma decided to make a public apology in front of the entire school, if only to get everyone else off his back about 'hurting her feelings'. Akane had rebuffed him and that was when it boiled over just as the pair got back from school.

"I can't believe you! I actually bother to apologize about the whole mess, and you say that ain't good enough? Then what the hell is good enough for you to accept that I'm actually sorry huh?"

"You were just faking it! You didn't think I knew everyone in school was pressuring you to apologize. A jerk like you doesn't know the meaning of sorry!"

"Yeah? Well a tomboy like you certainly don't know the meaning of being a bigger person and acceptin' an apology for what it is! But that don't matter to you considering how everything is supposedly my fault!"

"OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT! EVERYTHING THAT"S HAPPENED SINCE YOU ARRIVED IS YOUR FAULT!"

"Like the fact that you were spineless enough to be forced into the engagement with me?"

There was a rushing of air before Ranma's dry drawl cut through the air again, "And I bet you're gonna blame me for not standing still and letting you hit me as well."

"Stand still and take your punishment!"

"For what? I've lost count of everything I apparently need to be 'punished' for. Maybe you oughta give me a list so I can keep track!"

So engrossed the pair was in their argument, one that everyone in the general area around the dojo could hear quite clearly. Finally, Soun stepped in, Demon Head leading the way, as Genma separated the squabbling pair.

After Ranma and Akane had calmed down, partly due to the scare from the Demon Head technique, Soun decided that now was the time to take action, "Everyone to the living room, I am calling a family meeting!"

Soun waited until all were seated and quiet, inhaling deeply through his nose before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of it.

"Ranma, Akane, lately it has come to my attention that you two have been having... difficulties with the engagement. More so than usual, I mean."

Ranma snorted, "Ya think? Not my fault she can't get it through her thick head that I'm actually trying to apologize to her."

Akane bristled immediately, "Why you..."

Soun's hand slapping onto the table disrupted the brewing argument before it could escalate any further. "Enough! For a long time now, Genma and I have ignored your disagreements as mere lover's quarrels, but lately I have begun to wonder whether this engagement might be asking too much of you, Akane."

Akane sniffed, "Of course its asking too much of me! I have to put up with this insensitive jerk every day of the week and if its not one of those other floozies fawning over him its one of the others and he doesn't do a damn thing about it!"

Ranma snorted, "Yeah? And just what the hell am I supposed do then if you're so smart?"

Akane growled, "How about trying to act like a proper fiancé for once!"

That earned a short laugh, "Oh? You saying you actually want this engagement now? Now that's a change! Since when have you ever wanted this- hell, since when did I say I wanted this?"

"Ranma! Akane! Sit down and be quiet, the both of you! This instant!" Soun snapped.

Dumbfounded by Soun's almost unprecedented display of spine and authority, the teens did as they were told. Waiting until they were settled, Soun continued in the same level tone. "As I was saying, it seems that this engagement may be too much for you to handle at your young age, Akane. So, for the sake of the schools, I am hereby transferring Ranma's betrothal from you to Kasumi."

That, naturally, resulted in a massive communal gasp of shock, disbelief and horror. The eerie silence that followed lingered for about a minute before uproar ensued.

_Back in the real world, Ranma-prime blinked at seeing not only Soun muster up all that spine, but to actually make a really tough decision like that...Ranma gave a low whistle, it just went to show that sometimes Soun Tendo could actually surprise you sometimes. Looking at the storm, and wondering why the district wasn't underwater by now, Ranma-prime stretched slightly and after a brief exhalation, he focused back on the mirror to see how the other fiancées might be handling this new development. It didn't take long for the mirror to find Shampoo and Ukyo apparently holding a meeting._

"Well? What Ukyo want?" Shampoo asked cautiously, unconsciously readying herself to strike or dodge in case Ukyo had finally decided to have a battle to determine rightful ownership of Ranma.

"Look, Shampoo, I don't like you and you don't like me, but we gotta put aside our differences for Ranma's sake." Ukyo promptly announced.

Shampoo stared at her, gobsmacked. "What is wrong? What happened to airen?" She asked, concern and a hint of fear tinging her tone.

"Nothing's happened to him, but that idiot Mr. Tendo has finally broken his engagement to Akane." Ukyo responded, looking deeply unpleased by this.

Shampoo blinked twice and cocked her head aside in confusion; why was Ukyo unhappy with this? "So what wrong with that? Ranma no longer bound to spoiled brat, so where is problem?"

"Because now he's transferred the engagement to Kasumi." Ukyo answered, only deepening Shampoo's confusion.

"...Like Shampoo said, where is problem?" The Chinese girl asked, leaving Ukyo gobsmacked.

"What's wrong?! Kasumi is completely different to Akane, that's what's wrong! If Ranma is engaged to a Tendo who doesn't berate and beat on him all the time, you know he's gonna fall for her."

"You have valid point." Shampoo conceded. "But you forgetting one key thing."

"What's that?" Ukyo asked sullenly.

"Kasumi is nicer than Akane, yes, but is also boring." Shampoo answered simply.

Ukyo's face promptly met the pavement. Prising herself loose, she looked up at Shampoo in disbelief, prompting the Amazon to illuminate her obviously confused rival.

"You not interact much with Tendos since coming here, so you not really know them. Shampoo spoken to both Akane's sisters and Shampoo can tell you this; Ranma not fall in love with Kasumi. Kasumi is too much... homemaker type. Ranma is... wild, free spirited. He disrupts the quiet, uneventful life Kasumi lived before and want to live again. She bore him, he cause trouble for her, so they not get along. They not fight, no, but they not love each other either. So that means, only rivals we have now... is each other."

Shampoo gave Ukyo a predatory grin, prompting her to scramble to her feet in anticipation of a fight.

Instead, Shampoo shook her head and turned to go, waving dismissively. "Still, you worry enough to try and warn Shampoo in situation where you stand to gain by keeping Shampoo ignorant. Shampoo respect that. We not fight today. Later, though, we back to war."

Ukyo watched her go, then turned and went back to her own restaurant, musing on what she had been told as she went. It did make sense; on the few occasions she had met the eldest Tendo daughter, she was pretty much a normal girl, almost a stereotypically normal girl, and that would be kind of boring to someone who lived martial arts to the extent he had spent his entire life on a training trip. But, then again, that was also the sort of situation to make a guy appreciate the 'nice, unassuming, homey type'- after all, wasn't one of the reasons Ranma stayed in Nerima because he didn't really want to go back on the road to get his cure? Then again, seeing as how breaking off and going it alone would mean **swimming** to China and back... for the second time... she could understand why. Still, this was not reassuring her...

_From his own, unique (one might almost say 'godlike') perspective on things, Ranma-Prime personally had to agree with Shampoo's belief. Not just because of what he knew of "Kasumi-Prime", but because so far he saw every timeline stemming from this one resulting in his "breaking up" with Kasumi. The only real variation was whether one of the other girls "stole" him from her, or if Soun decided to switch things back to Akane. This was the only timeline Ranma had seen so far where he __**didn't**__ get together with the 'base girl'. Well, it really was no surprise- while Kasumi might be a more positive person than Nabiki, she was easily as poor a match for Ranma in her base personality. Still, there was at least one timeline where they did get together, and Ranma-Prime decided to examine it in more detail, wondering just what sort of outside event could have influenced things in such a way that he and Kasumi could fall in love..._

In what all concerned would later feel was definite proof that the divine powers had a twisted sense of humor, the instrument of this particular timeline's birth would prove to be none other than the Grandmaster of Anything Goes and the most perverted dirty old man in the world, Happosai. It took place roughly a week after Soun had made his big announcement. Everyone else was out of the house at that time; Akane, Ranma and Nabiki at school, Soun at a council meeting, Genma at his part-time job as Dr. Tofu's assistant. It was just Kasumi in the house, relaxing in front of the television now that her chores were done. Having gotten up and gone to the kitchen for some snacks, she came back to find Happosai now watching the television as well, his trademark loot-sack bulging with purloined underwear.

"Hello, Grandfather. Would you like a nice cup of tea?" Kasumi asked, her usual pleasant smile on her face.

Happosai nodded his head happily at her, a comfortable smile on his own place; he liked Kasumi. Most people who knew her liked Kasumi in at least an abstract manner, but Happosai really liked her. She was the sole person in the household, check that, the world, who actually acted as though they liked and respected him, as well as treating him as though he wasn't some irredeemable monster or unholy pervert.

After receiving his tea, Happosai sat quietly as he thought about Ranma's engagement to Kasumi and the gears in his head started churning. Since this was the only person who had ever been nice to him, Happosai decided to see how Kasumi was taking the news of the switched engagement.

"So Kasumi, how are you taking your father's decision to have you engaged to Ranma?"

Kasumi made a thoughtful noise before she replied in her usual passive tone. "Oh, it is a little sudden."

Happosai blinked. "That's it? Just that it's a little sudden? I mean, surely you know that unless Akane proves that she's mature enough to take Ranma back then you are marrying him by default. Doesn't that perhaps worry you in the slightest?"

Kasumi again smiled passively, "Oh, I'm sure Akane would be disappointed about that."

Happosai refrained from shaking his head; he knew that soon enough there was a good chance that Soun would eventually cave to his own romantic delusions and see another confrontation between Akane and Ranma as a sign of renewed affections, and that would certainly rob any chance of seeing if there was an actual spark between Ranma and Kasumi. Wracking his head for an answer to this dilemma, a light went on in Happosai's head as he remembered something that just might do the trick.

After finishing his tea and heading up to his room, Happosai rummaged around in his possessions until he found it. It was a plain black leather bag with a length of gold chain securing it. Happosai grinned as he remembered what this bag contained. He found it after translating a scroll he stole in his youth, and this was supposedly a powerful magic dust that was named the Love Dust of Aphrodite, at least that was the name his translation of the scroll managed to produce. Still, when he had tried it on an unsuspecting couple, the dust seemed to work as they fell madly in love with each other so the name had to correct. And if Kasumi needed help finding love, then Happosai figured that this was the easiest and best way to do it.

_Unfortunately for the Ranma in this dimension, and thanks to the built in translator on the mirror for the benefit of Ranma-Prime, this was not Love Dust, but rather Lust Dust of Aphrodite- and it was the most potent aphrodisiac ever made. Ranma-Prime wondered if Happosai even realized that Kasumi might not truly even be interested, but then figured that the old letch was probably so focused on helping out Kasumi that it never crossed his mind._

With the dust securely in hand, Happosai began plotting how to get Ranma and Kasumi alone together so that he could dust them without interference. Fate, for some perverse reason, conspired to aid him. As it turned out, Soun was invited to an important council dinner, and he was able to bring Genma with him as a guest, Akane had a sleepover with friends while Nabiki apparently was also staying with friends for the night.

Happosai's luck continued to shine on him by taking both Ukyo and Shampoo out of consideration for the night; an influx of customers meant that the two were far too busy to close up their restaurants that night, and thus they had no chance to slip away to steal some time with Ranma. After that, though, Happosai had to take matters into his own hands; he was just doing a quick round of the neighborhood, both to keep his eyes open for any possible threat to his plans and to scope out where he should direct his attention for his raid once he'd finished using the Love Dust on Ranma and Kasumi, when he'd come across none other than Ryoga Hibiki, having apparently heard of Ranma's switch in engagement and now aiming to punish him for cheating on Akane. Well, Happosai couldn't have that, now could he? He knocked Ryoga out cold, and promptly sent him flying through the air to land outside of Nerima's boundaries; with the aptly-named Eternal Lost Boy's sense of direction, it'd probably take at least a week for him to find his way back.

When it came to Kodachi, Happosai wasn't sure that the crazy Kuno girl was planning on sneaking out to drop in on Ranma, and the Kuno mansion seemed fairly quiet when the ancient master landed on the roof. Still, why waste an opportunity to do a quick raid and with expert skill, the old man artfully landed in...a greenhouse?

Looking around at the array of exotic plants, some that Happosai thought had long gone extinct and some that he had thought were legends themselves, the old lecher quickly and quietly began sneaking through to find Kodachi's bedroom when he stepped on something that made a loud *CRACK* that echoed into the darkness.

Watching through the mirror, Ranma-prime idly wondered how Happosai would deal with Mister Green Turtle as the old man looked down and saw that he had stepped on what looked like the thighbone of a goat.

"Now why would there be a goat's thighbone in a greenhouse?" Happosai stared at the bone for a few more seconds when he saw something else illuminated by the rays of the moon. It was a footprint, a large and deep footprint. Happosai blinked and scratched his head, "Now why is there an alligator's footprint in a...green...house." Happosai's face paled ever so slightly as the realization came to him, "This isn't just a greenhouse." Then he heard the rumbling hiss behind him and bowed his head, "Dammit."

Happosai leaped into the air as a set of giant jaws came together on the spot he had been with a loud meaty thump that seemed like a thunder-crack, given the size of the beast that the old man was looking at. No wild alligator grew that huge and even the few he'd seen in zoos were dwarfed by this monster as its head snapped to the side to regard Happosai with a baleful yellow eye before it hissed again and turned to face the old man.

Now, Happosai knew he couldn't simply kill this beast, not if the likely owner was who he thought it was, but he had to stop it somehow before it woke up someone up. Then he saw it; a rather large mango that was about the same size as him, and came up with a plan as he grabbed the fruit and vanished behind a bush.

Slowly, the monster alligator approached the place it had seen the prey vanish behind, and as it came into range, the alligator struck, charging through the bush to snap up its late-night meal with a wet squelching sound and swallowed the dripping mess whole. It seemed to sigh in contentment, before its eye widened and it began to groan pitifully, causing a light to turn on and a door to open to reveal Kodachi Kuno, who looked around her greenhouse before shaking her head.

"Oh, Mister Green Turtle, you know not to eat the mangos, they give you terrible gas." The alligator gave off a monstrous burp to punctuate her statement, whereupon the girl tsked and began massaging its scaly hide.

High above, Happosai swore never to come back here ever again, no way was he going to risk being eaten by that monster just for some underwear! Not unless he brought some steaks along next time! Still, he had sought to ensure that Kodachi wouldn't be able to interfere, and he had succeeded, even if it was in a way he would never be able to boast about. Bounding back to the Tendo Dojo to carry out the most important part of his plan, namely actually using the dust, Happosai allowed himself a moment to daydream about Soun and Genma happily slaving away to fulfill his every desire as payment for this service he was providing. And they'd better be happy about it; he was delaying tonight's panty raid to make sure this worked!

"Man, this place is really quiet with everyone gone." Ranma looked around the empty dining room while Kasumi ate in silence. Truth be told, it was a little eerie without the constant chatter and noise of the other residents of the dojo. Apparently Soun and Genma had decided that Kasumi and Ranma should have a night to themselves and get to know each other better, while they went out to eat along with Akane and Nabiki.

Not even Happosai was in the Dojo, but that was probably because he was another panty raid again. The only thing that Ranma had been expecting to happen was for Ukyo, Shampoo, hell even Kodachi to come blasting in by now, no way that they wouldn't be finding out that he and Kasumi were supposedly having a 'romantic' dinner alone. But so far, everything was going peacefully. Heck, even Ryoga hadn't show up and frankly if Ranma had a watch, he could set it by the regularity of Ryoga's attacks.

But no, nothing and no one was showing up to screw this up. Then Ranma sneezed, along with Kasumi. They glanced at each other and Ranma shrugged, to which Kasumi smiled slightly= while Ranma smirked as well; it wasn't as if a little dust was going to mess this up nice night with Kasumi. She really did look beautiful with that serene expression on her face.

Ranma and Kasumi continued eating, unaware that above them a smiling Happosai was carefully emptying a bag of dust into the room. Sometimes it did the old heart good to help romance along, and besides this should help that heir of his finally realize just what he was missing out on when it came to girls! Smiling in a grandfatherly manner, Happosai continued with his ill-fated plan.

Eventually, the effects of the dust began to kick in. While Kasumi simply seemed uncomfortable at first, Ranma was trying hard to suppress the sudden, strange excitement he felt being near Kasumi.

Ranma-Prime, watching through the mirror, knew that the dust, especially in the amounts Happosai was dumping into the room, was certainly going to overcome the self-control of his counterpart very shortly. While some of his fellow students had jokingly commented that Ranma wouldn't know the meaning of the word 'libido', Ranma knew better in that he did have a libido and yes he knew what it was for. The simple reason why he acted like no girl turned him on was two-fold. Firstly, Akane's one-girl war against perversion would have him setting new world records for frequency of violence-propelled flights. Secondly, when it came to the other girls, a mere hug would have been seen as him saying "please take me to the marriage alter right now!", let alone anything remotely sexual. So he clamped down on himself hard with all the self-control he could muster.

But even the most formidable defense can be worn down and sure enough the dust was starting to make itself felt in Ranma as the youth found himself at first trading loaded remarks with Kasumi, who was responding quite intently as well since her defenses weren't as strong. No matter how hard Ranma tried, his tongue and body were rebelling against his mind as suggestive dialogue, innuendo and more crossed the table, courtesy of the increasing amount of magic powder they were inhaling. Up above, Happosai nodded in satisfaction and grabbed at the bag containing the Lust Dust before bounding off to continue running interference for the couple.

Unfortunately for the couple in question, Kasumi had now crossed the table and firmly locked lips with Ranma, and even as he was trying to get his body under the control of his swimming mind, Ranma was responding.

The last coherent action shared by the two before their vision went black was to quietly whisper something that Ranma-Prime couldn't catch before they gave in and the mists, in response to Ranma-Prime's subconscious, rolled in to obscure any viewing of what was to come. They unfurled again on the next morning, early enough that the other residents of the dojo were still sleeping, having come back long after Ranma and Kasumi had… "retired".

Kasumi groaned softly as she came awake- not because of the time, for she was long-used to waking up around dawn (how else was she to get started at making breakfast for her family), but because of a painful throbbing sensation in her head. A more worldly person would likely have likened it to a hangover, but Kasumi had never gotten drunk before, so she had nothing to compare it with. As she grew more awake and thusly more aware of her present situation, her concern with the headache faded away- she was not alone in her bed. She could feel a pair of arms locked tightly, but not painfully, around her, as well as another chest -a distinctly male and bare one- pressing itself against her own. And from the sensations she was now receiving, Kasumi was as naked as he was. Now, Kasumi might be somewhat naive, but she is not stupid- she knew all too well what was going on. Hesitantly, as though afraid to confirm what she already knew to be true, she opened her eyes to meet the blue-gray eyes of none other than Ranma Saotome, alight with a mixture of dread, foreboding, horror and sheer terror.

Kasumi's room echoed with a sudden scream, and it was really a miracle that no one else heard it. Despite what one might be thinking though, the sound had *not* come from Kasumi Tendo- in fact, she was watching with equal parts bewilderment and disbelief as Ranma, having been the one to scream, scrambled from her bed and slithered across the floor until he backed into the wall, babbling desperate apologies and denials in equal measure as he did. Kasumi tuned him out, not from any malice, and calmly took stock of the situation- inside, she was panicking almost as badly as Ranma was, but she had been taking the 'calm, collected and level-headed' role for so long that slipping into it came as naturally as breathing. In truth, she was essentially attempting to ignore the reality by concentrating on the finer details.

She and Ranma were both naked... they had woken up in the same bed... a prompt examination revealed a smear of blood on the sheets. The evidence was irrefutable. But how had this happened? Could it be that Ranma was...? No, even if he was attracted to her, Kasumi knew that Ranma was really a very shy and goodhearted boy; he would never have done something like take advantage of a girl, much less force her to sleep with him. She strained to remember just what had happened the previous night...

Ranma, meanwhile, was basically babbling in horror, pushed to the proverbial mental breaking point under the weight of what he had done. Ranma had a personal code, a bizarre and oft-distorted one, but a code of conduct all the same, and treating women right was one of the highest commandments on it. As he babbled denials and apologies in equal fervor, his mind raced, until finally it jammed to a halt on the one way he could possibly atone for something so profane as sleeping with a woman against her will. Suicide. So caught up in his own mental turmoil was he that he didn't notice that Kasumi had been unconsciously tuning him out... until he made his offer. That caught her attention.

"What was that?" Kasumi snapped, Ranma flinching back as though he was expecting her to strike him, something that made Kasumi feel guilty. In a more gentle tone, she repeated herself.

"I said, I know it ain't worth anythin' compared to what I did to ya, but I'll take my life for you, if that can atone for what I did." Ranma replied, naked shame and self-loathing practically oozing from his pores, the horror he was feeling at what he had done visibly written all over his face.

"No." Kasumi replied. "I will not have you kill yourself for something that you would never do of your own accord. Sleeping with me isn't in your nature."

"So how the hell did we end up in bed then?" Ranma remarked smartly, self-loathing evident in his tone.

Kasumi looked thoughtful for a minute, then it all clicked into place. "Happosai." She murmured.

"What?" Ranma asked, confused by the way Kasumi was starting to look angry.

"Happosai did this! I don't know how, I don't know why, but he must have used some kind of potion to make us go to bed." Kasumi said, anger visibly breaking through her control at such a betrayal.

"You really think so?" Ranma asked. It sounded logical, but what could the old pervert's motives possibly be?

"Who else could it be? Shampoo or Ukyo would have wanted you for themselves, I don't think our fathers would do something like this, and you certainly couldn't have slept with me of your own free will." Kasumi replied in a distracted tone.

"I never said nothing about you being uncute!" Ranma protested, prompting a confused look from Kasumi.

"What are you talking about? I know for a fact you're too shy to even kiss a girl- how on earth would you have been able to do something more than that?" Kasumi asked.

Ranma opened his mouth to answer, then shut it with a soft click as he slumped on the ground, "You're right, no way I'd even kiss you and even if I wanted to, that would mean the both of us being sent to the wedding altar after Akane decides to bury me for being 'perverted' to you." He made a face, "Well, at least she can justify it now."

Kasumi shook her head, face calm but eyes alight with simmering anger, "Not if she doesn't know and believe me, we are not going to give her the chance to know. Is that understood Ranma-kun?" Staring at her eyes, Ranma could only nod. When the day started, it was as if nothing had ever happened, except that an astute observer would have noticed that Kasumi's usually genuine friendliness towards Happosai had apparently evaporated; evident primarily in that she stopped her little offers of things like cups of tea. Nobody else noticed, too wrapped up in their own concerns, and even Happosai would usually get too distracted to do much more than idly think about it on occasion.

Soon however, it was clear that their one night of 'romance' had an unintended and uninvited result. After the third week of unexplained nausea, Kasumi quietly purchased a home pregnancy test and, to her quiet horror, her suspicions were confirmed.

The test read 'Positive' and it was only a supreme effort of willpower for Kasumi not to faint at this newest revelation.

"So, what's wrong Kasumi?" Ranma asked, closing the door softly behind him. Kasumi had spoken to him after dinner that night, secretly telling him that they needed to talk. Kasumi looked up at him from her position on the bed, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears, causing Ranma to unconsciously suck in his breath as his heart skipped a beat.

"Ranma... I'm pregnant."

Silence reigned in the wake of that statement. Finally, Ranma inhaled a shuddery breath and rubbed his eyes, while Kasumi began looking at her feet, doing her hardest not to start crying. Tentatively, Ranma approached Kasumi as though to comfort her, but he stopped just shy of touching her shoulder.

"So... what are we going to do?" Ranma asked, talking more to himself than to Kasumi, who nevertheless took it as being addressed to her.

"I don't know!" She replied, hysteria tingeing her voice as she finally began to cry.

Cautiously, as though afraid she would shatter at his touch, Ranma gently sat down beside her and rested a hand on her shoulder "Whatever choice you make, I'll support. If you want an abortion-"

Kasumi recoiled in horror, a wordless cry of disgust spilling from her lips as she stared at him in disbelief. Ranma was taken back by her reaction, then figured that a traditional girl like Kasumi would naturally be repulsed at such a suggestion. With a tired sigh he shook his head, feeling the weight of reality twining about him like a leaden shroud.

"So... what are we going to do then? We can't just hide this..."

"Who says we can't?" Kasumi asked. Ranma blinked in shock, prompting Kasumi to elaborate. "You know that Father and the others aren't the most observant of people, particularly with your knack for getting in trouble. Surely we can keep this our secret from them, at least until we figure out how to tell them!"

Privately, Ranma had his doubts, but even he could see just how distressed Kasumi was, so he simply nodded his assent. He bit back a yelp when Kasumi, having resumed sitting by him, suddenly flung her arms around him and began to weep again. She sobbed for several moments before Ranma tentatively put his own arms around her, trying to offer what meager comfort he could.

Watching through the mirror, Ranma-Prime began to wonder if this timeline could have a happy ending. His impatience getting the best of him (though it wasn't as though he couldn't watch this again in more detail later- after all, he owned the Eye of Zygyg now), he began to fast-forward through the mists to watch as things unfurled. To his amazement, and a little disgust, Ranma and Kasumi actually managed to keep the fact of Kasumi's pregnancy hidden from everyone for a solid four months straight. During that time, Ranma tried to offer what support and comfort to Kasumi that he could, something that, naturally, made Genma congratulate Soun on the wisdom of his decision, as well as reinforcing Soun's ego and severing Ranma's ties to Akane. Not that Ranma would have been able to live with himself if he'd tried to get back with Akane, thus abandoning Kasumi after dishonoring of her. Kasumi, in turn, was touched by Ranma's attempts to support her- in truth, she came to rely on him, like a faithful crutch.

Maybe it was because of how abstract the position he was taking was, but Ranma-Prime couldn't tell in the slightest when or even if love began to bloom between Ranma and Kasumi. In fact, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe they didn't, if they didn't simply stand together because of ties of honor and duty. Still, remain together they did- though they didn't do anything as a couple until that fourth month. That was the month in which their secret was finally revealed, courtesy of Akane overhearing (due to jealousy-inspired snooping) the fiancées talking about their unborn child. Naturally, there was uproar, but things managed to quiet down after Ranma and Kasumi revealed the role Happosai played in things.

Needless to say, though, Ranma and Akane never spoke again in this timeline- in fact, she left the house as soon as she could, first to go to college, then on a training trip with Ryoga, whom she drew closer to due to his faithfulness to her in comparison to Ranma's "treachery". That was one major upheaval, though others came much sooner- though Soun and Genma naturally insisted that Ranma wed Kasumi before the child was born, they first insisted that they deal with Ranma's other engagements.

Ukyo was fairly easy; the okonomiyaki chef was both reasonable and had never lost her initial paranoia about the engagement transferal. She still erupted into an outraged fury upon hearing of Kasumi's pregnancy, and practically threw them out of her shop, declaring the two of them dead to her. She packed her things and left town that very day, and was never seen again by the "Nerima Wrecking Crew"

While emotionally dramatic, though, that didn't hold a candle to the confrontation with the Amazons. Cologne had to actively restrain the grief-maddened Shampoo from attacking Kasumi, and had added menacingly that she would be compelled by Amazon law to take her great-granddaughter's side should she declare a blood feud with Ranma and Kasumi. That had definitely put the ball in their court; though he tried to ignore it, Ranma had to admit that Cologne had taught him both of his most powerful techniques, the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken and the Hiryu Shoten Ha, and he knew from personal experience that she had even more techniques. While he could handle Shampoo in a fair fight, he wouldn't want to press his luck against Cologne- particularly not with the lives of his wife and future child on the line. Finally, the quartet managed to reach an accommodation: in an arrangement that had Ranma wanting to choke on the irony, it was decided to 'pass on' the engagement. One of Kasumi and Ranma's children would be engaged to marry one of Shampoo's children. Shampoo and Cologne agreed to this, though they warned Ranma and Kasumi before they left that they would expect Ranma to follow in his father's footsteps in regards the arrangement, and not Soun Tendo's. Puzzled by that, they left the Nekohanten, which like Ucchan's was closed down the next day, the Amazons having returned to Joketsuzoku.

Ranma-prime watched as things seemed to settle down in Nerima after that and after the wedding of Ranma and Kasumi, decided to skip ahead to the birth of the child and like his counterpart in the mirror waited in suspense, though he refrained from doing the agitated pacing and stalking, since there wasn't enough space and he'd likely look a little silly to Honest Abe.

Finally, the child was born and to both Ranma's surprise, it was a baby girl. Ranma decided that now he should listen in and watch a bit more closely as Ranma sat on the edge of Kasumi's hospital bed while she tiredly but serenely held their daughter.

"She's beautiful." Kasumi smiled slightly as she felt Ranma's arm on her shoulder, "Just like her mother." Her smile widened at the compliment along with her cheeks pinking from a slight blush, but she wasn't going to have all the credit as the baby opened her eyes after a rather cute yawn to reveal a startlingly intense pair of blue-grey eyes.

"She has her father's eyes."

Ranma blushed at that, and regarded his daughter with a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, but damn." He flinched at a small glare from Kasumi before continuing, "I know I don't have a stare like that. It's like she's staring at my soul."

Kasumi made a humming noise in agreement before she simply stated, "Yuzu...her name will be Yuzu." Ranma regarded the newly named Yuzu for a moment before he nodded.

"Yeah, she looks like a Yuzu." He idly began wondering precisely how they were going to be able to raise the child when Kasumi spoke and he blinked, "Hmm? You say something Kasumi-chan?"

Kasumi turned her head to regard her husband and repeated what she said, "I don't regret this, Ranma, but I don't want our daughter to suffer a broken house. I don't know how this will work, Ranma...I'm scared about the future, but for our daughter's sake, we must make it work, somehow."

Ranma blinked, before his familiar devil-may-care smile appeared, and he hugged Kasumi, careful of their child, "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm a little worried." He chuckled at Kasumi's glance, "Okay, I'm scared too, but you know what? That don't matter, because as long as we stick together and make sure Yuzu gets all the love and respect she deserves, then I think we'll do alright."

Kasumi chuckled, "Only you could be so confidant, Ranma-kun. Next you'll want to train her in the Anything Goes...Ranma-kun?" Kasumi stared at Ranma as his face suddenly shifted as though he had suddenly swallowed something bitter and then he chuckled softly while shaking his head before explaining to Kasumi.

"I finally realized what the Old Ghoul was talking about...that bit about me following in Pop's footsteps instead of Old Man Tendo. She wants me to train Yuzu, whether we want to or not."

Kasumi's face also shifted to one that was a little grimmer while Yuzu quietly watched as only a baby could. Finally, Kasumi nodded as though making a decision, "You have my permission Ranma-kun, but I do not want our daughter on a training trip for most of her life, she has to grow up normally. But other than that, do what you must."

Ranma hugged Kasumi with a deep sigh, before he smiled. "Thanks Kasumi, and I'll make sure that our Yuzu is the best."

Kasumi giggled, "Even better than you?"

Ranma shrugged, "Well, I'm not a miracle worker."

The mists came in to end this tale just as Kasumi started to laugh. Shaking his head gently, Ranma-Prime began rescanning the strands of time…

_That's this chapter complete, so it's time to start voting for the next chapter's theme. Currently, the other 'Lady-Killer Bandaid' is in the lead, with "Kodachi won the MARG contest" and "Kodachi came back later that first night" drawing up as second and third. We also have a pair of new Ukyo moments, seeing as how Ukyo has thus far been drawing something of a raw deal in terms of potential stories: what if Akane hadn't gone to Yumogi Valley? And what if Ukyo had been the one who dove into the tornado for the chart? As always, read, review, and vote. Just a heads up; for one of our future chapters, Gideon020 and I were planning to diverge from the canon girls and try our hands at a Ranma/Original Character match up. Our normal beta has declared that they'd rather not beta that chapter, so we're looking for a stand-in for that beta. Please let me know if you're interested._


	8. Legal Bonds

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** I've had a few comments asking if I dislike Kasumi, and let me reassure you that this is not the case. As I mentioned in the last chapter, had Ranma been engaged to Kasumi from the start, it's more than likely he would have been married to her, perhaps as early as the 5th season. However, if the engagement is transferred to her in mid-canon, where Ranma has at least three other jealous, possessive girls after his heart, and rivals to boot, the two would not have really connected unless some outside force intervened and pushed them together. They're just such different people. Not to mention the fact that, canonically, Kasumi is far less concerned with Ranma than fanon makes her out to be- in fact, there's actually evidence that Kasumi dislikes Ranma, in her own mild way.  
To those who bring up crossovers, no, I don't really do crossovers unless I'm very familiar with the source material for both. I prefer to try and make my works stand based on one source alone.  
Kaji, I've read the manga (via a few early volumes in my possession and the manga scanlation), and I'll tell you that I'll stick with the anime. I prefer the anime. I can't stand Akane in either incarnation, and I feel that she's "better" in the manga solely because the other girls are so gut-wrenchingly disgusting. And I'm sick and tired of those who claim that Ranma is stupider in the anime- he's not, he just doesn't get to show off those sneaky bastard moments as much as he gets to in the manga.  
Mrbignerd, if you'd like to borrow one of my 'bases' then please feel free to do so! I'm not claiming a patent on them or anything, and the more Ranma/Non-Akane girl writers out there, the better, that's what I feel. I'm glad you like this work and I'm honored that you think you can take pointers from it.

Chapter 6: Legal Bonds

Ranma looked up from the mirror and shook his head, trying to sort through all of the things he had seen so far.

"Well, I knew nothing good could have ever come from that old freak or his sick little toys. Hell, magic in general's been nothing but trouble for me from the start."

There was a sudden high-pitched humming sound, and Ranma started with shock. To his astonishment, the mirror's surface had changed from its usual display of calm, gray mists to a roiling, seething mass of black vapors and crackling energy, like looking into the heart of a newborn electrical storm.

"Word of advice, my friend- it's not a good idea to badmouth a magic item. They tend to be touchy." Abe commented casually from where he was polishing the shaft of a scythe, the blade of which glowed a faint duck-egg blue.

"What? You mean this thing's alive?" Ranma commented in disbelief.

"Not as such, not like you or me, but artifacts tend to have some semblance of self. I'd apologize to it, if I were you."

Ranma blinked in disbelief, but entertained the notion- so far, this item hadn't done anything bad to him at all. The thought warred with his pride, before he finally managed to make a decision.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but it was nothing personal- I've never met a magic item yet, except you, that could have possibly had a positive effect on my life." He said, still feeling a tad foolish at talking to a mirror.

The humming died down and the sparks stopped flashing in its depths, though the mists remained black and ominous... and began to swirl in a familiar pattern.

"I think it feels you just challenged it to prove you wrong." Abe said, now dusting off a book the size of a small table and about as thick as Kuno.

"I doubt that's possible." Ranma commented, but started into the mists anyway.

The mists writhed and seethed until they reformed themselves into a timeline recognized all too well, as it was the exact same timeline he had just been viewing before. Apparently to emphasize its point, he found the mirror showing what had happened in his own past- specifically, that after Shampoo had abducted him from the dojo, Ukyo had paused behind to, for some inexplicable reason, give a motivational 'pep talk' to Akane. It was that which caused Akane to follow, and led to her intervention in the resultant fight, which was how he had avoided being married to one of the two girls. After showing him this, the mirror rewound and started again, only here Ukyo kept running straight through the dojo, evidently not noticing Akane due to a combination of the dust and Ukyo's own haste.

The result of Ukyo's interception of Shampoo was explosive to say the least and the pair immediately launched into each other, intent on disabling their opponent long enough to get the marriage license signed while Ranma slowly returned to his senses before he found his head squarely planted in a person's chest as Shampoo stuck her tongue out at the fallen Ukyo, "Too too bad Spatula-girl!"

She turned away for a moment to make sure that Ranma was alright when a blur tackled the pigtailed teen, resulting in Ukyo and Ranma on the ground with Ranma's face this time firmly positioned in Ukyo's chest as the girl glared at Shampoo, "Over my dead body!"

Shampoo growled, "Shampoo can arrange that..."

As Ranma-prime watched, the overheated bandaid went into overdrive and the resulting mega-dose, in fact he was tempted to call it an over-dose, pretty much resulted in Ranma's mind being overwhelmed by the drug and sent into a pseudo-romantic daze as he managed to call out, "Girls, please stop. Come on, there's no need to fight."

The two ignored him and as Ranma watched helplessly, his eyes fell onto the licenses that the two had dropped when the fight started and his drugged mind realized that they were fighting over which one of them would have their license signed by him. Any sort of sensible thought was long gone as Ranma walked over to the licenses and picked them up and in his battered mental state, went to find a pen.

"They're fighting over me to sign one of these licenses, but I know that they'll keep fighting. So since they both want this, I'll sign them both." Only Ranma-prime heard this little monologue and he groaned, no way was this going to end well as Ranma found a pen and after a few moments to read everything, signed both the marriage licenses.

This deed done, the bandaid finally burnt out and fell off without anyone noticing, and Ranma slowly came back to his senses. He blinked, saw the pen in his hand and then saw the two marriage licenses laid out neatly in front of him. Ranma-prime winced as his counterpart simply gave off a choked scream of horror that stopped the two fighting girls in an instant as they abandoned their combat to rush to Ranma.

"Ranchan, what's wrong?" Ukyo asked, trying to elicit some response from the Saotome youth, currently hunched over and clutching something tightly in both hands.

"Airen, what matter? Who hurt you?" Shampoo quickly followed, her gaze burning into Ukyo, who returned fire once she realised what the Chinese Amazon was just insinuating. They were both ready to start brawling again, right there and then, when another ghastly shriek suddenly erupted from Ranma. Before either of them could do anything, they felt tremendously powerful, if clumsily aimed, blows pound into their flesh, knocking them aside like leaves before a gale as Ranma hurtled forth into the night, vanishing into the darkness before his cry had faded into the still air.

By the time the girls had managed to regain their footing, both physically and mentally, Ranma was long gone. Ukyo snarled as she whirled to face her Chinese counterpart. "Now look at what you've done!" She snapped.

"What! What I did? If anyone drive off Ranma, it you, Ukyo!" Shampoo snapped back.

With her teeth gritted so hard that they felt ready to crack, Ukyo swung at Shampoo's head with her spatula, only for it to be deflected by a promptly readied chui. Once more they resumed their battling, this time seeking to vent their fury at having apparently lost a golden opportunity to finally take Ranma away from Akane rather than merely seeking to fight for dominance. No quarter was asked, and none was given, a brutal and relentless fight... until a sudden gust of wind caught two pieces of paper and somehow managed to plaster both girls in the face. Both girls finally managed to free themselves... whereupon twin screams of horror split the air.

"How'd he manage to sign **your** marriage license!" Both shrieked at each other, before realizing what they had said.

There was silence as the two girls regarded the other's marriage license and the temptation before them. Oh, it would be so easy to shred the little piece of paper and victory would be assured! But the problem was that there was no time to shred one license and grab the other before it too was shredded. Thus the two girls regarded each other at an impasse, neither willing to give even as they pushed forwards.

But one thing made any thoughts of violence pause as it came to them, why didn't Ranma destroy the licenses himself? It would have been child's play for him to do so. So why didn't he?

Ukyo was the first to speak, "This is getting us nowhere." Shampoo nodded.

"So what we do? Airen sign both license so we get one over Tendos, but now what? Try to find Airen?"

Ukyo shook her head, "Hell if I know what to do. Ranma's gone and he can be pretty good at hiding when he needs to. If he doesn't want to be found, we ain't gonna find him. So I guess we're stuck."

Shampoo knew that there was one option, but didn't want to suggest, not if she knew how that person was going to react…

"We could go see Great-grandmother for advice." She suggested meekly.

Ukyo grimaced slightly, while she had no ill-will towards the old woman, she was more likely to want to help Shampoo than her, but she couldn't help but shiver at the meek way Shampoo had suggested it, like she knew something bad was about to happen. Still...

"What the hell, let's go sugar, maybe Cologne will know something."

"...And that's what happen, great-grandmother." Shampoo finished finally. She and Ukyo had been questioned extensively when they had come in (after, first, taking the precaution of knocking Mousse out cold), and she had just finished describing in full detail what had happened that day, including elements she and Ukyo had personally pieced together (privately, of course) after hearing from Happosai about the Lady-Killer Bandaid. As she finished, she sat back and waited for Cologne's response. At first, Cologne's expression remained inscrutable, which made Shampoo increasingly nervous- a nervousness that kind of 'leaked' to afflict Ukyo as well, who took it that if Cologne's own great-granddaughter was afraid of Cologne's reaction, she probably should be as well. Shampoo's nervousness only cranked itself up to eleven when Cologne pulled out a tobacco pouch decorated with Chinese characters.

That, Shampoo knew, was a special kind of semi-magical herb that only the authority figures of the Joketsuzoku were allowed to use. Fundamentally, it was a narcotic- it calmed the smoker down and kept them from doing anything rash. Ukyo, of course, knew nothing of this, but Shampoo's own nervousness, coupled with the fact she knew pipe smoke should not blue-green in hue, meant she was edgy. Things only got worse when, after a couple of draughts, Cologne finally started speaking... or would the more accurate phrase be "ranting"?

"I don't believe this, I just don't believe this. I put years, years of hard work into that girl and all of that effort into catching the heart of that boy and then she goes and does this!" What followed was a string of Mandarin that sounded especially vicious, as if Cologne wasn't able to find the words in Japanese to make them known as Shampoo shivered slightly, able to understand every last syllable as Cologne started pacing around the table, puffing away furiously.

Then she lashed out a finger at Ukyo, "And you! You had to compound the problem didn't you? If only the boy wasn't so attached to your friendship, you could've been dealt with easily, you'd vanish and no-one would be any wiser for it- but you had to be his friend and you had to be willing to fight back!" Cologne switched to Mandarin again, and Ukyo knew she didn't want to know what the meanings of the words she was hearing, were as Shampoo stayed silent.

After making two laps of the table, Cologne hopped off and stood on the impromptu platform, her clenched hand causing her staff to quiver slightly, as if the old woman was considering committing serious physical harm. Finally, Cologne let loose a deep sigh and sat down, relaxing slightly and looking much older than she was before finally asking, "Is that everything that happened Shampoo?"

Shampoo nodded her head frantically, "Is all that happened Great-grandmother, nothing more."

Another deep inhalation of smoke, which curled wreathlike about Cologne's head as she exhaled. She shook her head softly before speaking, her voice unusually tired and elderly in timbre.

"You two girls have really done it now. This complicates matters in ways I never wanted you to have to deal with."

Hard ingrained instinct took over and, despite the fear she had just been feeling, Ukyo promptly and automatically rounded on Shampoo. "This is all your fault!" She shrieked at her Chinese rival.

"My fault! How it my fault?! Ukyo try to take advantage of bandaid too!"

"Oh yeah, well who's the one who busted into the wall and ran off with Ranma, huh?! Face it, you started this when you tried to frighten Ranma into going on a date with you using that kitten, so if anyone's to blame for all of this, it's you!"

The two probably would have fallen to brawling right there and then if Cologne hadn't deployed her staff like a boomerang, battering both girls on the head. When they looked towards her, Cologne fixed both of them with a glare that was, perhaps, more frightening than her previous expression as she explained.

"I will admit that your deeds have had some positive effects- the two of you, in theory, now possess a far stronger and totally legal tie to Ranma than you previously had, and you have also rendered it impossible for Ranma to marry any of the Tendos. In practice, however, things are not that simple. You cannot both take your licenses to the officials in charge of such things -the Japanese bureaucracy has its problems, but it's not that incompetent- and trying to do so would simply result in a legal tangle that would inhibit either of you from marrying Ranma. Far more serious, however, is the fact you have altered your relationship with Ranma."

Ukyo blinked as she flicked a thumb towards Shampoo, "Okay, I get that its just me and Shampoo now, but what do you mean by 'altered'?"

Shampoo grimaced, "We get Airen together and lose Airen together is what Great-grandmother mean."

Ukyo looked like Shampoo had just told her that the sky was purple, and given her photographs to prove it. "What the hell do you mean by that?" She demanded incredulously.

"My great-granddaughter has unveiled the very root of the problem here. A pity she failed to think of such things before all of this occurred."

Cologne's voice was iced steel, and Shampoo flinched back as though expecting a physical blow to follow the verbal one. No such strike was forthcoming, but neither was any semblance of remorse or guilt. Before Ukyo could even think of asking Cologne to explain herself, she continued speaking, her voice the same cold, cruel tone as before.

"Ranma Saotome is, in his way, quite a patient and forgiving soul. However, there are things that few, if any, can merely wave off, and your actions today are amongst such deeds. The two of you treated him like a mere prize, a mindless, unthinking trophy whose opinions are of no consequence whatsoever. You took advantage of him, in a situation where he had absolutely no semblance of control, and dealt a potentially fatal wound to his feelings of friendship towards the pair of you, never mind any romantic desires he might have felt! Do you understand what I am saying here?"

Shampoo's head was bowed by the time Cologne had finished and Ukyo's head had also slumped as the magnitude of their act hit home. Both knew that this was something that had to be fixed, and fixed correctly as Ukyo managed to whisper, "So now what do we do? If Ran-chan doesn't want to be found by us, we ain't gonna find him. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd want to even go and look for him, not after this."

Shampoo nodded slightly, staying silent.

"Good. If you can realize just how badly the two of you have messed up this already troublesome situation, then there's hope that you can fix things." Cologne stated bluntly.

Pausing only to throw a now half-hearted glare at Ukyo, who returned it as automatically and as inefficiently as she had received it, Shampoo finally broke the silence "So... what we do, great-grandmother?" She asked.

"Firstly, you two must realize that the only way either of you is going to be able to come out of this disaster is by calling a truce. Success depends on you accepting that." Cologne stated firmly, the ice thawing from her voice, though it remained as steely as ever.

Ukyo sighed, "Fine, I guess I can live with that. But how are we going to fix this with Ran-chan? It ain't like we can just walk up to him and say 'Hey Ran-chan, sorry about turning you into a first place prize, but Shampoo and I have made a truce and we'd really like you to forgive us, so would you do that? Pretty please?' Yeah right."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, a smile flickered on Shampoo's face.

"First, allow me to emphasize **why** your cooperation is so vital to this endeavor. Neither of you can afford to return to your previous habit of warring with each other over 'access' to Ranma, and particularly your tendency to make him a casualty of the battle. You have already alienated Ranma with your deeds, and a continuation of such behavior will simply push him irretrievably away. Not to mention the fact that someone else may very well revive Akane Tendo's former tactic, albeit an unintentional one, of sneaking in while you two are fixated on each other to steal away Ranma from under your noses." Cologne stated.

"They'd better not try it!" Ukyo snarled, momentarily forgetting herself.

"That right! We work too hard to lose to sneaky cheat!" Shampoo echoed.

Cologne promptly boomeranged her cane off both of their heads. Once they finished whining about the pain to themselves, she resumed speaking as though nothing had happened.

_Ranma-prime shook his head as he watched, "So far, what you're showing me ain't exactly filling me with confidence." The mirror made a harsh chime, and Ranma had the distinct feeling that it had somehow told him to keep watching. With a shrug, he did just that._

"Beyond that, this truce will aid you in your attempt to regain Ranma's trust and affection. The core paradox of your situation is thusly; Ranma will be even more reluctant than before to engage in romantic situations with either of you. Yet, at the same time, the best way for the two of you to mend your ties with him is to prove that it is possible for him to spend time in your presence without suffering pain. However, he is so used to you approaching him for that purpose that any attempt by either of you to approach him alone is doomed to failure- he will instantly suspect your goal and turn from you. The best option here is to use the truce as camouflage and approach him not only simultaneously, but as a team. From his previous experiences with you, Ranma finds the concept of the two of you working together, particularly in regards romance, unbelievable. The two of you can thusly arrange to spend time with him, yet use the truce to disguise it as merely friendship. Of course, this means that the two of you will have to accept the idea of not only going on subtle dates, but the fact you three will have to be together on such dates..." Cologne trailed off, seemingly casual bar for the barely perceptible tightening of her fingers on her staff.

Both girls grimaced at this but nodded, try as they might neither of them could think of a better plan and it was also clear that it was either this way or simply throw in the towel and they weren't about to do that.

Shampoo glanced at Ukyo, and then held out her hand. The chef blinked for a moment, and then understood what Shampoo wanted. She cracked a wane smile and shook the offered palm, "What the hell, better than nothing at least." She turned to Cologne, "So, you got any ground rules for us or are we going to have to make this up as we go along?"

Cologne grimaced, "Considering how well that turned out, some ground rules are going to have to be put into effect."

A gnarled finger went up, "First; there can be no more physical combat between the two of you. While the occasional verbal spar will undoubtedly happen, you cannot go at each other with fist and weapons. The only exception is sparring sessions here; if you're going to share him, you might as well get used to each other's styles intimately and perhaps learn from the other apart from when I feel that I should train you."

On reflection, using the words "share him" were probably a mistake, as both girls took that the wrong way entirely and promptly exploded.

"Share him! Are you crazy? There's no way I'm letting my Ranchan take a mistress and just turn a blind eye to it!" Ukyo protested.

"That right! Shampoo is only woman Airen need! Certainly not let him take Ukyo as co-wife!"

'Co-wife?' Ukyo wondered for a second what Shampoo had meant by that, but forgot it quickly enough as her skull once again was reacquainted with Cologne's staff.

The elder Amazon glowered at both girls as they held their tender heads. "I didn't mean it like that, so get things straight! Right now, you are both equal, and both losing! You can resume jockeying for first place as Ranma's wife **after** you've caught up in the race!"

Cologne sighed as the two girls rubbed their heads, "As it stands, you might as well be running a relay race, helping each other to reach the same goal. Never forget that, because as of now that is the most appropriate way to sum up how different your situation has become. Regardless, you also interrupted me when I was setting out your ground rules."

Two gnarled fingers went up, "The second rule is this; Stay away from the Tendo Dojo. Right now, that is the only place where Ranma would likely feel that he has any sort of breathing space to himself, no matter how limited it is and the two of you will have to respect that. In fact, I would go as far as to forgo any interaction with any of the Tendos unless you absolutely have to."

A third finger went up, "Third rule; Listen to him, for too long Ranma has been jerked around like a dog on a short leash that has had its barks ignored. It's time that he made his decisions heard and respected. While I don't want you to do everything he says, you should at least know when to respect that Ranma wants to be left to his own devices."

A fourth finger joined the set, "And finally, be patient; This is not something that can be rushed, the two of you will have to do this at the pace Ranma sets. While you can try to influence that pace, don't blatantly try to rush things otherwise you could lose everything. Is that understood?"

Seeing no disagreement from the two girls, Cologne nodded, "Good. Now considering the circumstances, I would say that the both of you should refrain from any attempt to find Ranma today. Tomorrow will see if you two can work together to fix this mess."

It was barely after breakfast the next day that both of the girls met at the gate into the Tendo home, each having left their own home as soon as was feasible in order to try and apologize to Ranma. They paused outside of the gate, eying each other warily.

"So, what we standing around for? Why we not go in?" Shampoo asked.

"We gotta think about we're going to do first." Ukyo replied. "We can't just waltz in through the wall- I mean, through the door," she hastily amended herself at Shampoo's insulted glare. "That's a good way to make him run for it, never mind getting a chance to talk to him."

"Are you two looking for Ranma?" Came a third voice. Both girls looked away from each other to find that Nabiki had swung open the gate and was now leaning against it's side, her usual smug grin firmly in place.

"So what if we is?" Shampoo asked.

"Oh, please. We both know you two are here to see Ranma. Well, he's not here- but would you like me to tell you where he is?" Nabiki purred.

"Where is Ranchan?" Ukyo asked warily.

Nabiki's grin took on a distinctly unpleasant cast. "That'll be ten thousand yen." She said, palm out to accept the cash.

Nabiki's grin took on a more wooden cast as she realized the reaction her words had on the two girls. A cold emptiness was the sole expression on either girls face, and they stared at her silently, looking more like inanimate puppets than living beings. What felt like minutes ticked by before, suddenly, they moved- beginning to approach her with menacing purpose and perfect synchronicity, despite the fact she hadn't heard them say so much as a whisper. Needless to say, it didn't take any time at all for her nerve to break.

"All right! All right! Cut the death march crap, I'll tell you! Shampoo folded her arms while Ukyo simply placed her hands casually in her pockets, neither letting up their respective glares as Nabiki suppressed a shudder and started talking, "Ranma came home babbling some nonsense but I managed to get the gist that he signed some girl's marriage license and daddy and Mr. Saotome pretty much started partying, thinking that Ranma had signed Akane's license."

She sighed while rubbing the bridge of her nose, "The only problem is that once Ranma started talking more sense, those two found out that he hadn't signed Akane's license, they didn't need to hear anymore before they went ballistic and they tossed him out of the house with barely enough time to pack." Nabiki spotted the faintest glimmer of...well it was some sort of emotion at least as she finished, "You'll find him at the vacant lot, practically the only place he could actually go anyway...."

Nabiki turned her head at the dust whipped up from Ukyo and Shampoo's rapid departure, before sniffing slightly, "Wonder what has them so worked up about Ranma this time?" Deciding she didn't need to know, Nabiki went back inside.

Even by their quite impressive standards, the two girls covered the distance between the Tendo estate and the vacant lot that was the unofficial camping ground and duel arena for any wandering martial artist in the Nerima district in record time. There, as Nabiki had said, they found Ranma, sitting and looking quite lost to the world in front of his tent. The two girls pulled to a stop just before the gate in, unsure of what to say or do now that they had finally found Ranma again.

Unfortunately, any decision the two would have made was taken out of their hands as Ranma called out, "You two coming in or not?" Considering that the streets were empty of people, it was quite obvious who he was talking to.

Wordlessly, Shampoo and Ukyo stepped into the vacant lot as Ranma closed his eyes and leaned back slightly, "So, you here to make me marry the both of you, or are you going to just split me in half and share the spoils?"

"No, nothing like that!" Ukyo denied quickly- she had been expecting a reaction like this, but there's a difference between anticipation and actual reception.

"She right- we not here to talk about that, we here to say we sorry." Shampoo added.

Ranma snorted, "And how the hell does saying sorry change anything? So what, you say sorry and then we're back to where we started, except now I'm out of a place to live thanks to how Pops and the tomboy reacted, which I'm sure you found out about. Thanks a lot by the way."

He sighed harshly, "So now what? I'm guessing the Old Ghoul was happy that Shampoo got a legal way to marry me now without having to worry about Akane."

Silence reigned for several seconds before Shampoo finally broke it. "Shampoo... not take license to officials. It not really binding yet." She replied softly.

"Me neither." Ukyo said, her tone an almost perfect match for Shampoo's.

Ranma blinked in disbelief as he stared at the two girls, trying to work out what they had planned, "You didn't take them in? Hell, you two were all over each other to get me to sign them before!"

Both girls looked down at the ground at that, their body language screaming "sheepishness" and "guilt" for all to read. "Yeah, about that... truth is, we both got kinda... caught up in things. We never stopped to think about what you wanted, what you would think, or even why you were acting the way you were." Ukyo said.

"We did wrong thing, terrible thing, and we truly sorry about it." Shampoo interjected.

Ranma glared at them, "No, really? I hadn't noticed." He grimaced and sighed again, "Fine. I guess I can accept your apology but I ain't ready to forgive you two, not yet anyway." He turned and looked away for a minute or so, the girls likewise doing the same. Finally, he spoke again. "I am glad you didn't take those marriage licenses in, so... thanks, for what its worth."

The two girls smiled slightly and hopefully as Ranma looked away but then their faces fell at what he said next, "I want some time to get my act together, so you two think you could let me have some space to myself? I'll talk to you tomorrow and maybe you can help me sort this mess out." It was a good thing Ranma wasn't looking at them as a flicker of pure hurt and disappointment passed across the faces of the two girls.

From his tone, it was clear that he wasn't really expecting them to actually listen to him and leave but then to his surprise, Shampoo and Ukyo nodded and turned away- reluctantly, yes, and hesitantly too, but they did indeed leap for the rooftops and bound away. In their wake, a slightly stunned Ranma Saotome sat there and wondered what the hell just happened.

_Ranma-Prime watched all of this happen then shrugged his shoulders casually. "I still don't see how this is winning your argument." He told the Eye. A brief thought along the lines of what the others would say if they saw him talking to a mirror entered his head, and then was driven away by a microphone-feedback style screech. When his hearing returned, he watched as the mirror began to practically zigzag around the timeline, focusing on random spots in an evident attempt to prove its point. The first scene it focused on showed an arcade, where Ukyo and Shampoo duked it out on some fighting game while Ranma remained on the sidelines as the chosen virtual avatars of the two girls pulled out all the stops to bring down the other but it was a close battle to anyone watching._

Ranma was feeling really confused- but then, it had been an unusual week even by his standards. Firstly, Ukyo and Shampoo had been practically tiptoeing around him ever since their apology- not that he particularly minded that, as it was proof that they did understand, however faintly, just what they had cost him. Secondly was the fact that they had actually come to him earlier and asked him if he'd like to go to the arcade with them- both of them, together, and they hadn't been fighting! Ranma had been surprised that they could actually ask him at the same time without falling out or demanding that he choose one of them that he'd been dumbstruck, which had apparently made them think he was rejecting them… which had prompted them to beg. They had actually gotten down on their knees and begged him! He'd never seen such a thing in his life!

Naturally, he had accepted- it wasn't as though he had anything better to do, and he did enjoy his rare visits to the arcade. Of course, the fact that the machines were only designed for two people at once was a problem- he'd anticipated a riot as they fought over who got first dibs. Instead, albeit with some snarky comments on both sides, they had agreed on a 'winner rotation' system, where two would pair up, and the third person would replace whoever lost, and finally flipped a coin to determine who got to play with Ranma first. Shampoo had won, much to Ukyo's dislike, and she and Ranma had gotten started on a fighting game. To Ranma's shock, and somewhat humiliation, she had beaten him with ease, and now it was Ukyo's turn to fight her.

"You lose. Player 1 wins!" Boomed the machine, prompting Shampoo to spin around and pull off a victory sign, accompanied by a cry of glee.

Beside her, Ukyo's expression bordered between gobsmacked and ready to cry. "I lost... how could I lose!? I mean, her beating Ranchan makes sense, but how'd she beat me?!"

"Hey! Whatcha mean my loss makes sense!" Ranma protested.

"Because you grew up on the back streets of Japan- you never even heard of videogames before you moved here." Ukyo answered immediately.

"I wasn't that bad off." Ranma pointed out.

Ukyo ignored him as she continued, seemingly lost in her own world. "But poor as you are, Shampoo's a Chinese hillbilly- she should barely know what electricity is!"

"What! Why you..." Shampoo snarled, literally pushing up her sleeves, as she got ready to take Ukyo to task for her insult. If she thought she was just going to get away with a slander like that... As Ranma prepared himself to intervene, fate conspired to arrange for some outside intervention, perhaps to spare the poor arcade owner. A gang of typical Japanese 'punks' decided that it was time for them to introduce themselves to the two cute new girls. So what if they were already with a guy- a little wimp like him wouldn't be any trouble, right?

In retrospect, coming to an arcade outside of Nerima, where no one had ever heard of the so-called "Wrecking Crew", probably wasn't as good an idea for avoiding conflict as the trio had hoped. While the self-confident "toughs" went down easily enough, the owner objected to the mess that resulted and promptly booted the trio out of his establishment.

"Well... that's a waste of a fine day's fun." Ranma sighed. He liked videogames, and it was rare that he actually got the chance to enjoy them.

Shampoo looked somewhat sheepish and scuffed her toe idly at the ground. "Well... Shampoo has game systems and games at home. We could play there."

"Ya do? Why didn't ya say so earlier- could have saved us the money!" Ukyo complained, her accent thickening momentarily (as it tended to do when she was upset).

"Because neither of you would come within ten miles of Shampoo's bedroom if Shampoo just suggested it." Shampoo responded sarcastically.

This time, it was Ranma's turn to speak up before the girls could start fighting. "Well, the arcade's a bust, so why don't we grab some snacks and head back to the Nekohanten? Make somethin' of a party out of it?"

The girls thought that idea over for a few seconds, then agreed that sounded like a fine way to kill the rest of the day.

_The scene faded and the timeline began to move forward again as Ranma-prime coughed slightly from the scene he had witnessed, "Okay, but that was one scene, and that doesn't count for much." The mirror simply beeped and Ranma-Prime focused again on another scene, this one placed at least two weeks after the trio's outing to the arcades and now it showed a busy movie theater and two girls waiting for a certain someone._

"Looks like we're early."

Shampoo snorted at the disappointed tone in Ukyo's voice. "Of course we early. Spatula-girl wanted good seats, or did Spatula-girl forget that when she nearly forget wallet?"

Ukyo glared at Shampoo and it looked as if it was going to be another verbal war when Ranma appeared.

"Hey Ucchan, Shampoo."

Immediately, as though a switch had been thrown, the two girls went from argumentative to beaming as Shampoo gently hugged Ranma alongside Ukyo.

"Glad you could make it, Ranchan."

Lately, it was clear that while the marriage contracts still hung in their minds, the two girls seemed rather unconcerned about it, at least when they were with him and they usually had enough of a fun time that they seemingly forgot all about them.

"So what movie are we seeing, anyway?" He asked. Ukyo pointed to one of the posters of movies that were playing and Ranma saw that it was a romance film, whereupon he frowned slightly, "Oh, I thought maybe we could go see that new action film over there." He pointed to another poster as he said that.

There was a slight impasse as the two girls and one teen boy stood there gazing at each other before, with a shrug, Ukyo pulled out her wallet, "Okay, sure." Ranma didn't know exactly how that happened; usually they were like two mountains when it came to their decisions, practically impossible to move, but he followed Ukyo and Shampoo to the ticket office anyway to go see his movie.

Thirty minutes later and well into the movie, the two girls were enjoying their decision to let Ranma pick the movie as they leaned against him, the pigtailed teen satisfied that they were simply going to do nothing more as he allowed himself to relax.

He was so relaxed and enjoying the movie that he barely noticed that he was holding their hands…

_Ranma-prime whistled slightly, "Okay, two for two. Maybe you got a point, but I got a good feeling you ain't done yet are you?" The mirror chimed and began moving again, this time to three weeks later, and Ranma focused on the scene in front of him, which appeared to be the finishing stages of an intense sparring session between the two girls and his counterpart._

All three teens, Ranma and the girls, had collapsed in their respective sections of the field, each exhausted from the pace they had been fighting out with their latest sparring session. While both girls were still quite a distance below Ranma's league, they were climbing at a steady pace- and the fact that they were now perfectly willing to tag-team him in sparring certainly wasn't hurting them. After she had finally caught her breath, having taken a rather painful knee to the solar plexus as her final strike in the battle, Ukyo spoke up and broke the silence.

"So, tell me, when do you think we can start learning the Hiryu Shoten Ha?"

Ranma looked at her in surprise. "Wha? Why're you asking? I don't think I can teach it to you…"

"Why not? We both know how the training goes -I was there when the old woman taught it to you, remember- and it's simple enough. Just not the sort of training that really works when you do it on your own." Ukyo pointed out.

"Spatula girl has a point." Shampoo said- in one of the stranger developments (not that this whole mess wasn't strange to Ranma), the insults that the two girls had previously used to insult each other had begun to metamorphose into friendly nicknames. It was just a matter of figuring out which context it was being used in at any given situation. "Only problem is, how we do embarrassment for Soul of Ice training? Have to do that before we go for Body of Ice training, after all."

"It can't be that hard, can it?" Ukyo protested.

"Hmm... maybe." Shampoo admitted. Then her grin took on a menacing cast. "Shampoo think she know perfect way to train Ukyo... now, do they make magic girl costumes in spatula girl's size...?"

Ukyo paled as the implications of that sank in, and the only reason Ranma failed to burst out laughing at that mental image was the fact his brain had momentarily seized up trying to process it. "Uh-uh! No way, no how! You ain't stickin' me in no poofy, pretty-baby, princessy, shamefully girly outfit!" She cried.

"...But where to find perfect shoes to match...?" Shampoo continued, evidently ignoring her. "Restaurant is no good... maybe Furinkan is best place to do training...?"

That did it and Ukyo promptly exploded, lunging like a wild animal at the laughing Shampoo, who promptly began dodging her as the furious Osaskan girl chased her around the field, Ranma finally losing it and laughing out loud at their antics, whereupon the mirror filled back with mists.

This time the scene shifted to show the trio getting ready in their respective bedrooms for some sort of fancy night out, well it had to be fancy if Ranma was putting on a casual suit instead of his usual silks, but what really caught Ranma-Prime's eye was that his counterpart seemed to be living in his own apartment, "Huh, wonder when I got an apartment? Probably should take a look later to see how that happened."

The scene flickered slightly to show Ranma meeting with Shampoo and Ukyo at what he saw to be a relatively expensive restaurant, the kind that gave your table away if you didn't make your reservation. He focused in on the scene as they were led to their table.

"Glad you could make it Ranchan, we would have been here earlier if this one hadn't forgotten what today was." Ukyo sent a glare at Shampoo, who pouted slightly.

"Everyone forget sometime. Beside, not Shampoo's fault that Spatula-girl couldn't find right dress."

Ranma shook his head slightly; despite all the time that they had been spending together, the two girls were still prone to sniping at each other occasionally, though it now seemed to be as much friendship as hostility. Still, the change was quite a pleasant one from the bad old days when they would fall out with each other over just about anything, and he was usually the one to get the beating for it, so he was quite happy to live with this.

Ranma looked around at the fancy architecture and the well-dressed people and felt a little awkward being here, but Shampoo and Ukyo had apparently saved up a fair amount of money for this and they had said that this was a special occasion, but for what?

"So...what's the special occasion? Last I checked it wasn't any of our birthdays or anything like that." Ukyo and Shampoo smiled slightly at Ranma's curiosity and they shared a glance before Shampoo nodded.

"Simple really Ranchan, today is an exact week since the day you got your apartment and we're having a little celebration to honor that."

Ranma blinked in surprise and felt somewhat touched. The two girls had helped him find, purchase and furnish a new apartment after it became clear that he couldn't return to the Tendo Dojo, but he had no idea that they were planning this and it showed on his face as Shampoo and Ukyo giggled and both said, "Surprise!"

That was when the waiter came to get their order to find two giggling girls and a young man whose face was seemingly set in an expression of pleased shock.

_Ranma-Prime shook his head; he had to admit, the trio had looked genuinely happy. As he was about to verbalize his conceding of that point, however, the mirror began to surge ahead again. As it did, he became aware that this timeline basically split off into three separate lines; two where he married one of the girls, with the other remaining a friend of both thanks to the bonding they had undergone, and this third one, which the mirror was emphatically following, where Ranma ended up with both of the girls. Apparently, the Joketsuzoku did allow, in certain cases, for polygamous marriages, but the mirror glossed over the details as it raced to its final piece of evidence. When it reached that point, Ranma-Prime had to fight to keep his jaw from dropping- what it was showing him was a scene he hadn't actually seen prior to now. The actual wedding ceremony._

Though it remained somewhat aloof, rather than fully immersing him (perhaps it simply wanted to emphasize its point), it did show him plenty of details nonetheless. What looked like the entire population of Joketsuzoku turned out to attend the wedding. Genma and Nodoka sitting in the front row, evidently quite happy about the now-eighteen years old Ranma's wedding. He watched himself, Shampoo and Ukyo speak ceremonial litanies in Chinese and in Japanese, vows to love and protect each other, to stay faithful and loyal, vows that were punctuated by each extending an arm in turn for Cologne to ceremonially gash with an ornate dagger, so that their blood fell into a goblet full of... something. One each person had contributed, the goblet was passed around, each taking a full draught from the mixture of blood and who-knew-what before the remainder was dashed into a fire that had been burning behind Cologne. They then exchanged something that the mirror refused to show him, after which a great cheer went up from amongst the attendants- that, evidently, was the final part of the ceremony.

The mirror went blank as the triad slunk away from the party, evidently aiming to consummate their nuptials, and Ranma-Prime nearly leapt out of his seat when he heard Abe suddenly speak up from behind him.

"Well, it certainly looks like they feel it's a happy ending."

Ranma-Prime gave him a half-hearted glare, and then nodded his head. "I gotta agree. It was right."

The mirror made a happy-sounding jingle of that, before resuming its usual gently swirling white mists.

_I want to apologize for the long delay in getting this up, but it was unavoidable. There are still future chapters to do for this story before it's time to see how 'Ranma-prime' starts redirecting his life in response to what he's seen, so keep on voting! The top three, thus far, are the two Ranma/Kodachi ideas (Ranma lost the MARG contest at #1, Kodachi came back at #2) and "Nabiki went on her "date" with Ranma". Here's a list of oneshots left to be tapped, just to remind you what's left to vote for. I'd also like to thank Vassago-Toxicity, who has graciously agreed to beta the "Akane didn't give Ranma a piggyback" oneshot, and has even declared their willingness to beta the resultant series if people want us to extend it. Before anyone comments on the number of Ranma/Shampoo possibilities in the list below, let me assure you that this was not intentional on my part- it's simply a fact that Shampoo is the "other fiancée" who gets used the most, so she thus has the most opportunities for Ranma's heart._

_Akane's hose pushed Ranma out of the ring in his battle with Kodachi_

_Kodachi sneaks back to the Tendo house that first night and finds the still-paralyzed Ranma abandoned on the roof_

_Nabiki never found out about Ranma's revenge plan and went on the date he asked her on instead of sending Akane_

_Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode_

_When Tofu knocked out Ranma's legs, Akane hadn't given Ranma a piggyback_

_Kaori won the Takeout Race_

_Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time_

_Ranma kissed Shampoo back when she gave him the "Kiss of Marriage"_

_Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"_

_Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki_

_During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do_

_Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel_

_When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, they replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride_

_Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China_

_Shampoo snapped her fingers before the cat sneezed when using the Kirahashi Mushroom_

_Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima_

_When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face_

_What if Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?_

_Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer_

_Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second_

_What if Akane hadn't gone to Yumogi Valley?_


	9. The Butterfly Effect

Another Rainy Day in Nerima

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** I'm pleased that this story has been going so well; one person has spoken up to say that the effect we're going for hasn't been as well-developed as we'd like, but that's just incentive to improve, yes? Our current decision has been to focus on getting this story completed above all else, so I hope that's good news to you fans.

Chapter 7: The Butterfly Effect

_Ranma leaned back and stared at the storm and grimaced, "Man, what the hell is up with the rain?" He glanced at the mirror, "Hmm, I've pretty much looked at every kind of situation I can think of with the girls..."_

_That was when Abe spoke up, "You sure? Try looking at a scenario you've already seen and see if there are any offshoots, sometimes they get missed. Its kinda like that whole scenario with the butterfly flapping its wings, there's always something different about a familiar situation if you care to look."_

Ranma blinked, before nodding his head slowly, "Okay..." Still, he had nothing better to do and he decided to take a look at an earlier scenario, skipping back across various timelines before he noted something, a faint thread branching off from when Kodachi had paralyzed him before the Martial Arts Gymnastics Battle on the Dojo's roof.

_As he mentally viewed the strand, he saw that the main change was that Akane had simply left him up there on the roof, paralyzed and helpless. Snorting at how typical Akane's reaction was, Ranma decided to take a closer look to satisfy his curiosity._

'How do I get into these messes?' Ranma thought to himself, staring up blankly at the night sky. Not as though he had a choice, really; he was still paralyzed by that gunk the crazy girl had slipped him in a bouquet. What was her name again? Blue Rose, something like that? Ah, whoever she was, she was clearly whacked in the head- what kind of loon gave paralysis poison to a guy they wanted to get a kiss out of? True, he wouldn't have kissed her voluntarily, he'd only just met her after all and he did have his standards, but still! He sighed as deeply as he could; man, just how long was it going to take for this damn poison to wear off? It was cold out here! And why did Akane just up and leave him out here to freeze, anyway? Huh! Some fiancee; he didn't care whatever everyone said, she sure didn't act like any 'sweet 'n' innocent' girl to him!

"Achoo!"

Meanwhile, elsewhere in town, someone else was also up later than they anticipated. For some strange reason, Kodachi found her bed wasn't as enticing as it normally was; she just couldn't get to sleep, but she didn't know why. Actually, she did know why, she just didn't know why she was worried about Ranma Saotome, the newly-met man of her dreams. After all, it wasn't as though he could be in danger, right? That brute Akane Tendo surely took him back inside after driving Kodachi away, and before she could claim the kiss that was so rightfully hers too!

...But what if she hadn't? The girl was clearly vulgar enough to interfere in such a sweet and private moment; what if she was also barbaric enough to leave poor, darling Ranma on the roof, so that he would be forced to remain there until the paralysis powder wore off? Kodachi's eyes opened wide in shock and she flung off the covers as that thought seeped in. Her beloved would catch a chill if he were left out in the open all night! She had to do something! Purposely she gathered a spare set of covers and a fresh pillow before slipping silently out into the night, racing along the rooftops to her destination at the Tendo dojo.

Her heart plunged when she found Ranma lying on the roof, exactly as she had left him, and something very rare -a pang of guilt- stabbed through her heart. "Oh, Ranma darling..." She murmured softly.

'Oh great, it's the crazy girl again. What's she want? ...Oh no.... don't tell me she came back for me!' Ranma's thoughts took on a definite panicked edge as the implications of that final possibility took root. While most boys wouldn't have seen anything fearful in the idea of a girl coming to them while they were unable to do anything, especially if she was good-looking, Ranma wasn't as burdened with hormones as most, due to his rather "unconventional" upbringing. That fear was just starting to really sink its claws into his psyche when he noticed that she looked guilty- and, strangely enough, was carrying a pillow and some covers. Fear gave way to a heady mix of confusion, disbelief and amazement as she gently lifted his head, slid the pillow underneath, and then draped the covers over him. He stared up at her, unable to speak even if he wasn't paralyzed, as she gave him a strange, soft smile back and bent down to kiss him- but on the forehead, rather than on the lips like she had originally tried to do.

Standing back up, smiling at her beloved, Kodachi turned and left, feeling much better now that she had seen to it that he had some comfort. Ranma simply watched her leave, confused as all hell as to what had just happened. This girl had to be a lunatic! ...But, he had to admit, he did feel a lot more comfortable now... shrugging it off as nothing he could do anything about, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep.

The sun crawled over the horizon and soon birds were chirping and people were getting ready for their day. As rays of sunshine hit the massive Kuno Mansion, a figure wrapped in blankets moaned and grumbled as a ribbon whipped out and hit the alarm button on her digital clock. Blearily blinking sleep out of her eyes, Kodachi Kuno took one glance at the clock and her eyes widened.

The scream of "I'M LATE!" echoed through the air and drew some stares as Kodachi flashed from her bed to get ready for school before leaping out of the window and over the rooftops towards St. Hebereke's Girl's School, any thought or memory of stopping by Furinkan High first to confront Akane Tendo pushed aside in favor of not being late to school.

Meanwhile, Ranma yawned as he stretched his arms and made a pleased noise at being able to move again before gathering the blanket and pillow provided from Kodachi and headed downstairs, bumping into Kasumi on the way.

"Oh! Ranma-kun, where were you? You nearly missed breakfast. Oh my, where did you get that blanket and pillow?"

Ranma shrugged; no sense not being honest. "Oh, that Kodachi chick came back during the night and gave me this stuff. Which was nice considering I was freezing up there."

He heard a scoff behind him and turned to see an angry Akane. "Yeah right, you could have just gone back inside! I bet you were just waiting for her to return after I left you pervert."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "I bet she wouldn't have to return if a certain someone had the sense to get my paralyzed ass back inside! Geez, I've heard of heartless, but you take the cake tomboy. I'd hate to get on your bad side if leaving someone paralyzed to freeze to death at night is you being nice."

**WHAM!** Ranma was laid out as a grumbling Akane brushed past Kasumi who frowned ever so slightly but headed downstairs, taking the blanket and pillow to be added to the daily laundry.

_Shaking his head, suddenly wondering to himself just how often it was that Akane hit him when she lost in a verbal battle with him, Ranma-Prime began to scroll on. He had some already-developing theories about what was going to happen, and when these proved to be true wondered if he was getting better at predictions, or if they were simply so obvious anyone would have noticed._

_Because she was up later than usual, Kodachi had to hurry to St. Hebereke's; that left her with no time to drop by Furinkan. Without her confrontation there, she never learned Ranma was engaged to Akane, nor did she and Akane make their "arrangement" to decide who was Ranma's "owner" via the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics tournament. This also meant that Ranma didn't learn that Kodachi was part of the Kuno family, but that was less important. Ranma-Prime couldn't tell if Kuno had known about Kodachi's newfound crush on his "nemesis" before hand or if he had learned about it when Kodachi herself had shown up (in his timeline) to start trying to flirt with Ranma. He was silent on the matter, but that could have supported either version- still, not as though that made any difference. Ranma-Prime forged on ahead to more important details._

_In this timeline, it was Akane who ended up challenging Kodachi; while she still had every intention of winning, of course, given that she had agreed to this to help those other Furinkan girls, without the major incentive of Kodachi's formal challenge hanging over her head, she was somewhat more relaxed about the whole routine. That meant that she avoided that nasty little 'accident' that had forced Ranma-Prime to substitute for her instead. Now that he was thinking about that, had it really been valid for him to substitute for Akane? Ah well, that was nothing more than hypothesis now- far too late to have any practical effect. Instead, he watched as Akane got into the ring and challenged Kodachi... and boy was he surprised. Not that Akane lost- he knew that was coming; while Akane was far from a weakling or hopeless at martial arts, she wasn't exactly the most graceful or agile of fighters, and she had a bad habit of trying to substitute sheer enthusiasm and strength for finesse and strategy. Not to mention she was using a style she had only practiced for a week or so against a girl who'd been doing this for a couple of years._

"In the Red Corner, from Furinkan High School, Akane Tendo!" The announcer cried, to a chorus of cheers from the Furinkan students. Ranma sat in his seat close to the front, not bothering to speak up on how this was bothering him; he had tentatively voiced a few hints of his concern back at the dojo, and promptly drawn down the wrath of first Akane, who declared he was insulting her, and then her father and his. So he had decided to keep his mouth shut, even if he just knew that Akane was setting herself up for a major league fall.

Before the announcer could continue, the microphone was grabbed by one of the Hebereke students that formed part of the audience, "And in the Blue Corner, the champion of Hebereke, the Genius of Gymnastics, may I present to you ladies and gentlemen, the Black Rose! Kodachi Kuno!"

A shadow appeared from the roof and everyone looked up and before the eyes of everyone, Kodachi dropped down to the ring, countless ribbons lashing out to catch on the rafters and snap taut as Kodachi flipped and twirled before all of the ribbons were taut, stopping Kodachi's descent just short of the ring as Kodachi lightly stepped off the platform that had been formed by the ribbons and the batons attached to them.

Ranma couldn't stop the amazed whistle that left his lips, and to his embarrassment it echoed through the silence as everyone on the Furinkan side gaped while the Hebereke audience smiled smugly. A sigh to Ranma's side drew his attention to see Kuno shaking his head. It wasn't until Kuno's mutterings of 'twisted sister' sank in that he realized what the other announcer had declared. As noise resumed to fill the air, he leaned towards the snobby kendoist.

"Hey, Kuno, is that girl any relation to you?" He asked.

Kuno nodded, "Indeed it is, my younger sister Kodachi, and as you have just witnessed, she has an overdeveloped taste for the dramatics."

Ranma rolled his eyes; she wasn't the only one considering his first meeting with Kuno.

Still he couldn't help but be impressed by Kodachi's skill. One wrong move and those ribbons would have broken bones, which showed just how big the skill gap was as the proper referee announced the start of the match, jogging Akane out of her shock at seeing the display of gymnastic skill.

Ranma wasn't sure if he should watch the massacre to come as Akane charged forwards with all the grace of a bull on a rampage while Kodachi simply stepped forwards lightly. But like watching a train wreck in the works, he just couldn't look away as Kodachi smirked slightly and brought up her ribbon.

Akane didn't know what hit her, one moment she was going for a clean hit, the next thing she knew was that she was airborne and hitting the ropes of the ring, blinking in confusion as Kodachi elegantly alighted on one of the posts and raised a hand in a beckoning motion. Akane snarled and charged again, kicking a ball at the smiling girl.

Ranma winced as Kodachi expertly redirected the projectile back at Akane, bouncing it off her face before flipping forward onto the ring, snagging a pair of hoops and a baton and with another leap, slipped the hoops over Akane and with an artful flip and twirl, Akane was on the ground in an artful restraint that left no doubt that Akane would not be able to get free fast enough to continue the fight.

Ranma glanced to Nabiki, who was staring at a stopwatch in shock and he managed to get a glimpse and his eyes widened slightly.

The fight had taken only minutes, at most.

_Ranma-Prime was dumbstruck. Not by the time; that seemed about right to him as to how long Akane could possibly last against Kodachi, and he was sure she hadn't lasted much longer against... whatsisname, that guy who led the Martial Arts Men's Gymnastics team that attacked the Furinkan and Hebereke clubs. Anyway, what had amazed him was a single, simple change in Kodachi's fighting style: she had fought Akane... honestly. Where was her usual sneakiness? Where was the razor-sharp hoop and the steel bar disguised as a rope? Where were the exploding balls, the clubs with retractable spikes? Where was Kodachi attempting to handcuff her opponent, or her "Attack of 1000 Clubs" technique, where she fought using ten or twenty clubs simultaneously? ...Although Ranma had to wonder if that was really a cheat, given how much skill it took to pull it off successfully... snapping his attention back to reality, he was honestly intrigued by how this would affect his counterpart in this timeline._

_After all, he had only two example of Kodachi's more outrageous behavior; her conduct during that "match" she had fought with the Furinkan girls, and Ranma-Prime couldn't remember if he, er, they, ah, whatever, had arrived in time to find out why Kodachi was fighting with the Furinkan martial arts gymnasts. The second thing was Kodachi paralyzing him, though she had later came back and made Ranma comfortable upon finding he'd been left out to freeze._

_Ranma-Prime couldn't help but wonder if this would aid or hinder Kodachi's attempts to woo Ranma in this timeline; on the one hand, she didn't have the negative image she had erected in his own timeline. On the other hand, that same lack of disillusionment meant that the Ranma of this timeline was likely to react more harshly when she did finally reveal the bad side of her personality. Ranma-Prime began skimming ahead, to Ranma and Kodachi's first meeting after her defeat of Akane..._

Ranma sighed as he walked along the streets of Nerima. Ever since Akane's loss to Kodachi, she had been throwing herself into training herself for a rematch but for all of her enthusiasm and the support of Genma and Soun- and Ryoga, on those occasions when he was actually present, Akane's already short patience was constantly getting worn thin trying to imitate all of Kodachi's moves, speed and agility, qualities Ranma knew that she couldn't get in a few days, even a week to match Kodachi's years of training.

"Ranma!" And speak of the devil, and she would appear as Kodachi alighted from a streetlight dressed in fairly casual clothing as Ranma smiled slightly and waved.

"Hey there, you're that crazy chick who paralyzed me a few days ago right?" From their viewing point, both Honest Abe and Ranma-Prime winced at that while Kodachi's smile fell slightly.

"Ah, yes that was me. I trust the blanket and pillow were enough to get you through the night?" Ranma nodded.

"Yeah they were, thanks for them Kodachi." At the mild surprise on Kodachi's face, Ranma smirked, "Come on, even if I had forgotten your name after that match a few days ago, Akane's been repeating it ever since. She's really set on beating you in a rematch."

Kodachi laughed, not unkindly but Ranma knew it was somewhat mocking. "While she has enthusiasm, Akane Tendo lacks the discipline to truly gain skill in that particular Art. My own regimen of training takes at least two hours to complete and it is very demanding."

Ranma raised an eyebrow, slightly curious now. "Really? I can imagine you'd need to able to jump around, but what else?"

Kodachi indicated her joints. "You'd be surprised how easily it can be for joint pain to end any prospective career as a professional rhythmic gymnast. Maintaining a flexible body is very important. But tell me, why are you wandering around town? Shouldn't you be helping Akane trying to beat me?"

Ranma laughed, "You're joking right? I'd tell her everything she's doing wrong and then she'd hammer me into the ground. She got something of a short temper." Ranma wondered why he was being so open but then inwardly shrugged, if she wasn't trying to marry him straight away, who was he to complain? "So uh...what are you doing?"

Kodachi shrugged, "I was simply going shopping for some specific flowers and herbs for my private greenhouse." She looked slightly then, "If you like, I would be more than happy to have you along?"

Ranma looked hesitant, "You sure you want me with you?"

Kodachi nodded. "Of course! And besides, I can't have you knowing me only as 'that crazy chick that paralyzed you' would I? It isn't proper."

Ranma shrugged, "What the hell, I got nothing better to do. Lead the way."

_Watching this through the Eye of Zygyg, Ranma-Prime was, if anything, even more confused than he had been by Kodachi's fighting fairly against Akane. Why was Kodachi being so... placid? Why, when she was always so aggressive, perhaps even more so than Shampoo, in his own timeline? ...Of course, how could he have been so blind? Kodachi was so aggressive in his timeline because she __**had**__ met Akane and Ranma at the same time; in this timeline, by having to rush to St. Hebereke's, Kodachi had thus avoided learning that Ranma and Akane were engaged. As far as she knew, Ranma was free and unattached, open merchandise, and all she had to do was pluck him like a juicy piece of fruit. In fact, Ranma-Prime would have wagered even money on Kodachi's behavior actually being a deliberate act on her part; unaware that Ranma was engaged, she thus felt no compulsion to go to such lengths, instead feeling that a softer, more gentle approach was requisite to snag the heart of her crush._

_Ironically, Ranma-Prime caught himself musing; that probably would have been the better strategy all along. Shaking his head to rearrange his thoughts, he resumed watching Ranma and Kodachi spending time together._

Days passed and became weeks, and Ranma found himself quite enjoying the time he spent with Kodachi. Though she did have the rather disturbing habit of trying to stand a bit too close for his comfort, she never got violent when things seemed to be taking a romantic or otherwise uncomfortable slant, unlike Akane. Couple that with the stuff they did together was really nothing that **could** be considered romantic, and Ranma had begun to feel quite comfortable about being in Kodachi's presence. The two of them were currently walking in the general direction of home from a manga shop, having been caught there by the onset of one of Nerima's sudden rainstorms. The two had spent some enjoyable time together, discussing their personal preferences in manga, and that had eventually led to Ranma commenting on a few interesting series that he'd seen during his trip to China, the details of which he was now talking about with Kodachi.

Kodachi smiled happily to herself, only half paying attention to what Ranma was saying, and subtly reached out and took Ranma's arm in her own. While he promptly removed it, he only did so upon becoming aware of it, which took a good minute or so. Kodachi had been hard-pressed to believe the advice given when she had, in a subtle, round-about way, asked for help from some of her colleagues in regards to approaching Ranma, but she had to admit that it had paid off quite well. Not only did it allow her to get closer to Ranma -who was, as one of the other Hebereke girls had put it, rather skittish- but it was also a very enjoyable way to spend time, even if not quite as romantic as she had originally hoped.

Truth be told, in its way, spending time simply talking with Ranma was actually quite fascinating in its own right. While hardly classically educated, a fact that Ranma put on an air of being unashamed about, he did have a surprisingly wide array of skills and facts, the legacy of a lifetime spent on the road. Kodachi had a hard time believing Ranma's stories on occasion, but the sincerity in his voice when he claimed that his first memory was wandering some desolate road at his father's side was quite convincing. Truth be told, Kodachi found his tales of travel intriguing, although she had to admit that his descriptions of some of the hardships such a life entailed were off-putting.

A steadily growing urge had been to try and test Ranma's skill in the martial arts; she had no delusions about her competence, and she 'merely' trained during school and at home. But Ranma, from what she made out of his life, trained nearly nonstop for his entire life; she knew he was good –he had saved her life, hadn't he?- but just how good was he? Unthinkingly, her hand reached out to take Ranma's as she began to go over in her head the best possible way to ask this of him; after all, a girl could hardly ask a man to start fighting with her just like that, now could she?

She was just opening her mouth to try and ask this (and Ranma was just starting to pry his hand loose of hers) when a car came roaring by and drenched the both of them with water from the road. A lady of standing and breeding does not curse; right now, though, Kodachi was sorely tempted to ignore that fact. She wiped dirty water from her face with a grimace, quenching the urge to shake her fist at the reckless, heedless driver. Her rage promptly disappeared, replaced by shock, when a voice that was both familiar and unfamiliar spoke from beside her.

"Aw, man, why does this always happen to me?" Complained an annoyed and thoroughly female voice.

Kodachi's mouth dropped open in shock. Standing beside her, soaked and looking sheepish, was the strange redheaded girl who had interrupted her during her little "lesson" to the Furinkan Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics team. Ranma was nowhere in sight… but the girl… not only was she wearing the clothes that Ranma had been wearing, her hand was still being held by Kodachi's. She looked as though she wanted the earth to swallow her whole, while Kodachi's mind reeled at the obvious, yet impossible, implications. Finally, hesitantly, she managed to speak.

"R…Ranma? Is… that you?"

The redhead cast her eyes downward and then nodded slowly.

"…How?" Was all Kodachi could think to ask.

"Magic." Was the blunt answer she received.

"…But, magic doesn't exist." Kodachi replied hesitantly, though she hardly believed what she was saying herself.

"Trust me, it exists alright, it's just not something you see every day." The girl-Ranma replied sullenly, staring at her hands with disgust and (self?)loathing written on her features. Kodachi reeled, on the verge of fleeing, but finally managed to rally; if there was one thing she hated, it was being left out of the loop, and she was determined to find out just what was going on.

"Explain this." She demanded, her voice colder and harsher than it had ever been in Ranma's experience.

"…Alright, fine, but not here- I don't really want to let people know about this." Ranma finally responded.

Really caring solely about getting some answers, Kodachi agreed and the two retired to an out-of-the-way café, where Ranma requested some hot water. Dosing… herself?… with it prompted a return to the male Ranma that Kodachi knew- or had thought she knew, at least. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, before Kodachi finally broke it.

"So… are you a boy? Or a girl?"

"I'm a guy!" Ranma declared; sounding rather offended that she thought otherwise. "This is something that goes back to China, back to my old man's stupidity. He heard about this training ground called 'Jusenkyo', so he gets all riled up to go there. Idiot never bothers to get the full details or nothing, and he don't listen to the guide when they finally get there, so both of us end up taking a dip. Turns out, if you fall into a Jusenkyo spring, you get a curse that causes you to change into whatever drowned in that spring whenever you get splashed with cold water, though hot water will let you change back into your original form. My old man fell into the Spring of Drowned Panda- and then the stupid git up and throws me into the Spring of Drowned Girl."

Kodachi leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes, seemingly in deep thought before she calmly asked, "Why didn't you tell me?" Ranma flinched and stayed silent before Kodachi opened an eye to fix him with a nasty glare, "Well?"

Ranma sighed, "How could I tell you? If that car hadn't splashed us, I would never even give any thought to telling you. You think I could have just brought it up in casual conversation and even if I did you wouldn't have believed me." Ranma glanced away, "Besides, I was afraid you'd freak out like your brother did when I accidentally showed him the curse."

Kodachi snorted as she closed her eye again, "As much as I should defend my brother's sanity, you are correct in how he would react to such things. He is sorely out of touch with reality." There was an uncomfortable silence before, "Tell me, is there any way to cure your.... affliction?"

Ranma nodded, "There's another spring, called the Spring of Drowned Man. All I have to do is take a dip in that and I'll be cured." Kodachi's eye opened again to fix him with another glare.

"So why didn't you cure yourself immediately after being cursed?"

Ranma flinched again at the fact that Kodachi was all but declaring him an idiot out loud in public, but he couldn't really fault her.

"Well, there were complications and my old man was dead set on going back to Japan for some reason and… well… we never really thought about it."

Kodachi sniffed haughtily, "Well, I cannot allow you to remain as you currently are, not only for the questions people might ask, but also for our combined sanity. I will pay for you to go to China and get cured."

Ranma spluttered in shock, "Wha? You sure about that? I mean, paying for the trip and all that has to be expensive!"

Kodachi sniffed again, "We Kunos are among the richest families in Japan. Purchasing a pair of two-way tickets to China is hardly a dent in our fortune, even if we went First Class. Which we will, and yes Ranma, I am coming with you to ensure that you are cured and that you do not run off and vanish like some craven coward."

Ranma smiled weakly at the pure regality and force in Kodachi's voice, "Well, when you put it that way..."

Unfortunately for the two teens, Ranma-Prime noted, trouble was brewing just ahead on the horizon. When Ranma got home to try and pack his things, he discovered Akane had somehow gotten into a fight with the Golden Pair, and the fathers were demanding that Ranma fight at her side- partially because Mikado had kissed Akane. That meant a delay in Ranma's acceptance of Kodachi's offer- which she nearly retracted after finding out what was taking him so long: that he was engaged did not go down well. She calmed down, fortunately for Ranma's hopes of being cured, upon finding out that Ranma and Akane were not engaged voluntarily- and neither of them was, in their own words, interested in the other. After seeing how badly the two fought, especially hearing Ranma defending her when Akane slandered her, Kodachi decided to make up with her (unwitting) boyfriend.

Unfortunately for her Soun did not take kindly to her "intrusion" into his arrangements for Ranma and Akane's lives, which made him into her self-avowed worst enemies. Genma was Soun's staunchest supporter… for a little while. Eventually, however, the fact Kodachi offered a cure, not to mention she was rich, persuaded him to switch sides of the argument- to Soun's horror and Ranma-Prime's disgust. He knew it could be broken, but Genma's loyalty to Soun was one of his few redeeming qualities. Ryoga was the only one who seemed not to mind the situation, as this allowed him to get closer to Akane by playing on her feelings of betrayal. And when Shampoo arrived...

Ranma-Prime could only shake his head as he withdrew from the timestream. Things just got too complicated, perhaps even more so than his own life. While his counterpart did manage to get a cure for himself roughly before Mousse arrived, that only made things even worse- while it cut out the havoc that spawned due to him being mistaken for a girl, new havoc promptly took its place. He didn't really feel like sifting through it all to see just how everything turned out, but in the most abstract sense he saw that Ranma and Kodachi did get together in this timeline (though he had to wonder about the small branches he saw that had him marrying Kodachi and either Shampoo, Ukyo or both), so he had to admit that Abe had been right.

He couldn't help but wonder now; why was it his other-dimensional (for lack of a better term) counterparts who drifted towards Kodachi always seemed to find a side of her that he had never seen? Was he really that blind to her positive attributes, to the occasional hints she gave of having a better side to her nature? He'd always seen her as someone to avoid, even more than Shampoo or Ukyo... but had he been wrong? Try as he might, he just couldn't shake that unsettling chain of thought as he resumed delving into the mists of time.

_And that's this chapter done. Kodachi might seem off, even to fans of the anime (where she is given a softening, just like Shampoo), but I hope that we managed to explain why she is acting differently here: she's initially not aware of any pressing need to push herself on Ranma, she thinks he's a fruit that she simply needs to reach out and pluck (and I've probably shot that metaphor to hell and back…). As for why she brought Ranma bedding, but left him on the roof, well… there's delicate way to put this, so I won't. That I managed to post this chapter before I left for the first interval in December was a welcome surprise. Review, and vote for the next chapters, and Gideon020 and I will get right on the next chapter when I return._


	10. Contracts Bought Out

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** now, normally this chapter would have been decided by vote. However, for various reasons, Gideon020 and I have decided to throw the order out of whack for this chapter and the next two after it. Please continue to vote; as that will determine what oneshots we begin tackling after these three chapters are done. I'd like to let you all know, however, that I'll be on Christmas vacation from the 19th of December to the 5th of January, so no further posts will be made by me during that time.

Chapter 8: Contracts Bought-Out

_Ranma-Prime looked up from the mirror's depths, rolling his shoulders and stretching to work out some of the kinks before then returning his attention to it. The previous timeline was proof indeed that the smallest change could cause a completely different outcome, but he had to wonder; where there any timelines where such a change not only sent him spiraling away from Akane, but also into the arms of a completely different girl than the one who had been trying to get closer to him? Quite evidently responding to his curiosity, the Eye began to display the image of Ranma sitting on the floor of Nabiki Tendo's bedroom; now, this was a scene that struck a nerve with Ranma. He remembered all too well his humiliating attempt to get revenge on Nabiki for playing him like a puppet. Still, it did make a twisted kind of sense- in fact, if he had to be honest with himself, the duration of Nabiki's stint as his official Tendo fiancée was perhaps the very best opportunity any of his other fiancées could have had to try and woo him away._

_After all, Nabiki had no interest in him- and he had truly begun to hate her in return after discovering how she had been using him here. If things hadn't gone according to her twisted gambit, Akane wouldn't have taken him back either, so that left him, to all practical purposes, open quarry for any girl willing to target. Come to think of it, why was it that neither Shampoo nor Ukyo had come after him during that time period? Eh, they must have been busy with the restaurants or something. Pushing that distraction aside, Ranma-Prime concentrated on delving into this latest timeline._

Nabiki watched Ranma as he left her room, never moving from her spot on her bed until he had walked out of the door, commenting in an aside to herself on how this wasn't part of the plan. Normally, she would have gotten up and gone to Akane to try and arrange things so that she'd take Ranma back- it annoyed her that she wouldn't be paid for this, but better that than to be stuck with the big lummox herself! However, a nagging voice in the back of her head demanded that she stop and think for a moment, something that she finally acquiesced to doing.

Now, she knew that the odds that Ranma had somehow fallen in love with her were only slightly above the odds that Happosai was, for all his lechery, a three-hundred year old virgin who wouldn't know what to do with a girl who was willing to go all the way with him- after all, with all that she had done to Ranma so far, there was no way he could possibly feel anything romantic for her. Unless he was one of those masochistic deviants... but then, if he was, he wouldn't complain about Akane hitting him, now would he? So, he clearly had something planned- and, though Nabiki knew all about the saying regarding curiosity, she was still curious about what possible reason Ranma could have to ask her on a date. Curiosity overwhelming her, she decided to go along with it. After all, it wasn't like Ranma had the brains to come up with a real plan, now was it?

About an hour or so later, and she had proof that, indeed, Ranma was far too stupid to come up with anything remotely resembling a plan. He had met her at the agreed place in fairly nice clothes, and carrying a bouquet of red roses. For one terrifying moment, Nabiki had wondered if Ranma really had fallen in love with her, then she noticed the tension in his body language, a mixture of aggression and spiteful anticipation. That had given her the vital clue needed to realize just what was going on; Ranma intended to make her think that he had fallen in love with her, and through that gain revenge. Just how that was supposed to work escaped her, but if Ranma thought he was going to get away with trying to pull such a trick on her, he had another thing coming!

"Ranma, I'm hungry; let's go in there and grab something to eat." She commented airily. Ranma looked up and fought to keep himself from starting in alarm when he realized Nabiki had indicated Ucchan's. He promptly tried to change her mind, but Nabiki refused to be swayed and dragged him inside, secretly looking forward to the painful vengeance Ukyo would exact upon discovering Ranma had asked Nabiki on an actual date.

_Meanwhile, a lifetime and a half away, Ranma-Prime would have given a considerable sum to have Nabiki's throat in his hands right about now._

"Welcome to Ucchan's, how may I take your order?" Ukyo turned and blinked at seeing not Nabiki, but a smartly dressed Ranma behind Nabiki with a bouquet of flowers. Ukyo immediately destroyed the surge of jealous anger at seeing Ranma bringing a date to her restaurant as she told herself that he was with Nabiki, so that meant that the mercenary was up to something.

Nabiki for her part simply said to Ranma, "Why don't you pick out a seat while I go order for us okay?" Ranma simply nodded with a neutral expression as he walked towards a table and sat down. Meanwhile, Nabiki sauntered over to the counter so she could unload this headache onto someone who wanted it.

Ukyo busied herself cleaning the grill as Nabiki leaned on the counter, slightly thankful that business was slow today, "If you're looking for a free meal just because you're on a date with Ranchan, then no can do, I gotta pay my bills with money too you know." Nabiki smiled.

"How would you like some help with those bills? I've got a once in a lifetime offer right here for you." Ukyo scoffed but Nabiki continued, "You and I both can see that this little 'date' I'm on is a farce, but frankly I've found that being his..." Nabiki flicked a thumb to indicate Ranma, who was currently staring out of the window with a plainly bored expression on his face, "...fiancée is way to much of a hassle for me. So I've decided to see if you're interested. Hell, I'll even make sure he's in your price range."

Ukyo snorted at the light barb before her eyes began to narrow thoughtfully, "What sort of deal are you offering? You renting him out to me or just plain selling him to me as a once off so you never have to worry about being caught in the crossfire."

Nabiki's smile turned into a serious grimace, "Once off sale. No way am I going to even think about some kind of Rent-A-Ranma service, not with how you lunatics act around him."

Ukyo reminded herself that she was working, and that it was bad for business to take a chopstick and slam it through the hand of the now-smirking bitch in front of her. Plus it would make her look bad in front of Ranma, so she settled for her best neutral expression and asking, "How much?"

Nabiki smiled; finally something was going right for her, but now was not the time to be hasty. "Not so fast. I want an assurance that you won't use this to get one over me."

Ukyo snorted internally; it figured that Nabiki would want some way to cover her money-grubbing ass, but nodded all the same, "Look, all I want is Ranma and frankly I'm starting to wonder why you' re stalling so much. Just tell me how much you want before I decide I'm not interested. And trust me, if you tried this on Shampoo or Kodachi, they'll do worse things to you than what I'm capable of."

Nabiki openly scoffed, "Like what?"

Ukyo simply pulled out an old sharpening block and, before Nabiki could say anything, grabbed a chopstick and slammed it into the stone. "How much Nabiki? Just tell me, I'll pay and you can go back to your life without having to worry about not being able to look at chopsticks the same way for the rest of your life."

Nabiki smiled a little weakly, "Well, when you put it that way."

_Though he knew he really shouldn't, Ranma-Prime couldn't resist smiling at that exchange. It was nice to see some of the mud splatter Nabiki for once... in fact, when he really thought about it, he couldn't think of one situation that she hadn't provoked or worsened from which she hadn't escaped scot-free. Usually, if anyone caught the slack, it was him. Come to think of it, that was probably why he had never been attracted to Nabiki; even though Shampoo and even Ukyo had also done nasty stuff to him- at least they did nice things as well. Whereas Nabiki... once bitten, twice shy and all that._

_Ranma-Prime shook his head; boy, he was really getting distracted these days. Refocusing his mind on the mirror, he watched Ranma and Nabiki's "date" unfurl. Surprisingly, though understandably when he really thought about it, Ukyo made no interference towards Ranma while he was in her shop- she simply served him and Nabiki both and waited for Nabiki to finally grow tired of sitting around and leave, the bemused Ranma following in her wake, quite clearly confused as to why his "brilliant" plan wasn't working as he intended._

After they left, Ukyo clearly had to restrain herself from following, instead resuming serving her other customers with, admittedly, a distracted mien. Finally, the work day ended and Ukyo ceased to restrain herself, practically flying from the shop in the direction of the Tendo Dojo, her purpose quite evident even without the insight provided by the mirror. She had waited patiently for Ranma to return home, so as to avoid arousing any suspicion in him, but now was the time to cease the act and strike. Ranma was hers now, and hers alone- and she would be damned if she was going to let him spend another night under the Tendos' roof if she had any say in the matter.

Ukyo screeched to a halt just outside of the Tendo Dojo, taking a few moments to calm herself down; this was going to be a delicate operation, and she needed to be fully in control, for her sake and for Ranma's. After taking several deep breaths, she calmly walked in through the gates and knocked politely on the front door. After a few moments, Kasumi greeted her.

"Oh, hello Ukyo. Did you want to talk to Ranma?" The eldest Tendo girl asked politely.

"Actually, I was looking to talk to your father, and to Genma Saotome as well. Are they in?" Ukyo replied.

"Why, yes, they're in the living room; would you like to come in?"

Ukyo nodded politely and, pausing only to take her shoes off at the door, followed Kasumi inside. There, she found Soun and Genma seated at their usual position on the small porch that overlooked the inner garden, including its plum tree and its koi pond. They looked up at her as she entered the room.

"Hello, Ukyo, what may we do for you?" Soun Tendo asked in a brusque tone of voice, keeping his words civil to lessen the insult.

Ukyo didn't allow Soun to bother her; she knew full well that the Tendo patriarch didn't like her, primarily due to the threat she posed to his precious Akane's betrothal, and Ukyo could honestly say that she didn't like him either. Still, after this, she hopefully shouldn't need to have anything to do with the pitiful excuse for a human being again after this.

"I'm here to pick up something that belongs to me." Ukyo said. After a few moments to let her words sink in, she continued, "My fiancé."

"…If this is a joke, it's not particularly funny. Not funny at all." Soun finally replied.

Ukyo gave him a sinister smile. "This is no joke, Mr. Tendo. I have my reputation to think of; what do you think people will say about my allowing my fiancé to live under some strange woman's roof?"

"Strange woman!?" Soun spluttered angrily. "How dare you insult my little girl! Akane is Ranma's only true fiancée!"

"Oh, really? If I recall correctly, Akane gave up the engagement to Ranma- Nabiki is the Tendo girl arranged to marry Ranma now, right?" Ukyo asked, though the question was more hypothetic than genuine and someone more alert than Soun would have realized her air was that of a predator about to make a kill. When he reluctantly nodded, Ukyo grinned viciously. "Or rather, Nabiki **was** the Tendo girl arranged to marry Ranma- but that little arrangement is no more."

"**What!"** Both men screamed in shock, outrage and denial.

Her grin now thoroughly shark-like, Ukyo triumphantly withdrew a certain special document from her pocket and waved it in front of them. "I don't know if you two ever had a written contract… but, knowing you, I doubt you ever thought that far ahead. And even if you did, this little document completely negates it. Your own precious daughter signed Ranma over to me, and so now he belongs to me and to me alone."

Soun and Genma stared at her horrorstruck, beads of sweat speckling their faces and nervous tremors clearly running through them. Finally, one of them shouted, "look behind you!"- even though Ukyo had been anticipating something like this, she couldn't help but look… whereupon she turned back to find her hand now empty and Soun Tendo frantically chewing on something. She smirked sarcastically and shook her head softly; she knew they would pull a stupid trick like this, and so she had made ample preparations. With a grin, she pulled out another copy of the contract and dangled it before them. This time Soun didn't even bother to distract her before snatching it away and eating it.

Her grin stretched from ear to ear as she casually dumped dozens of copies of the contract in front of them, the original tucked away safely back at her home/restaurant, then bounced away to retrieve her husband-to-be, leaving the devastated old men to wallow in their attempts at self-denial. She knew she had broken her promise to Nabiki by revealing she was the one who sold Ranma to her, but she didn't care. Hell, as far as she was concerned, she'd been lying from the beginning- Nabiki had nothing on her, and so she wasn't scared of the would-be con artist. All that mattered to her was claiming what was rightfully hers, the boy she loved. She grinned with delight when she threw open the door to the Tendo guestroom and found a startled Ranma sitting there reading a manga.

"Ukyo? What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you, Ranma-honey. Pack your bags; you're moving out."

"Say **what!?**" Ranma blurted in disbelief.

"You heard me. There's no reason for you to stay here at the Tendo Dojo anymore, and I'm not heartless enough to leave you to live on the street." Ukyo replied pleasantly.

"Uh, what about that stupid engagement junk the old men are always going on about? Don't that count as a reason?" Ranma asked, growing steadily more bewildered.

"Oh, that's been called off." Ukyo said nonchalantly, having already begun digging around to find Ranma's things and start getting them together.

"Say **what!?**" Ranma blurted in disbelief. He knew his old man and Soun Tendo were dead-set on that stupid engagement, and the thought that they had suddenly decided to call it off… his mind reeled at the thought.

"You heard me. Nabiki was your official Tendo fiancée… so, that meant she had legal disposition over the contract. She called it off earlier today- that means I'm your one and only fiancée now, Ranchan!" Ukyo beamed with delight at the shell-shocked Saotome, slinging his backpack with all his belongings onto her own shoulders (sheesh, no wonder Ranma had so much strength and stamina- how many years had he been carrying this stuff?) before gently helping him to his feet and leading him out of the house.

_"Ucchan always did know how to take charge of a situation." Ranma-Prime murmured to himself. He decided to set the mirror to jump to the first major shift in the two's relationship; that tended to be the most interesting part to watch in these timelines._

When Ukyo woke up, the dawn was especially beautiful as far as she was concerned. While it had taken some doing, she had finally managed to convince Ranma to stay at her home with her, though he hadn't been as happy about it as she had hoped. Still, she had hope that he would come to understand her motives- and the fact he and Akane had started quarreling when she had burst onto the scene, Akane refusing to accept that her sister was to blame for Ranma's leaving, surely had to help him put the whole thing in perspective… right? Then again, the fact that every whacko in Nerima with a "right" to Ranma had been coming after them in the last few days was just the sort of situation that could keep him from thinking of things that way

Ukyo frowned to herself, stopping her preparations in the shop as that train of thought sapped away the joy she had been feeling over finally having Ranma staying in her home, without any unwelcome company. Although that wasn't entirely true, now was it? Not only had she been confronted by Akane and Shampoo, but also those Kuno nutjobs, as well as Soun and Genma- hell, she had no doubts that when he found out about it, that moron Ryoga was likely to get in on the whole mess as well, given his ridiculous stance on "punishing" Ranma whenever Akane got upset.

Ukyo was actively scowling now, her chores long forgotten; how on earth was she going to be able to persuade Ranma that she was the only girl for him with that parade of freaks barging in and being kicked out nonstop? To say nothing of what they did the restaurant in the process!

Sitting down behind the grill, Ukyo wondered for a moment if some kami or the other disapproved of her relationship with Ranma- why else would every attempt to raise herself in his eyes come crashing down in failure? She was just lucky so far that she hadn't lost any ground with him… but holding steady was no great victory when, by default, his attitude towards her wasn't overtly romantic, now was it? There had to be something she could do, but what?

And then it was that her gaze fell upon the old tourist magazines that had first begun the turn of events that had culminated in the Great Girly-Girl Gambit, as she'd heard some obnoxious kids at Furinkan dub it. Unthinkingly picking them up and flipping through them, a plan began to form in her head. The bozo brigade couldn't interfere if they couldn't find them, now could they? A shame about the restaurant, but being able to sell from anywhere was the point of her family business, so it would be a worthwhile sacrifice to help her and Ranma get together.

Though she could understand why Ranma wouldn't be so enthused about the idea when presented to him immediately upon waking up, the delay still annoyed Ukyo, who was beginning to develop a paranoid assurance that the others would come busting into the shop at any moment now. Finally, Ranma finished his breakfast and was ready to talk about it.

"So, why do you want to leave town?" Ranma asked, his tone bordering on dismissive.

"Oh, so you like being stung by hornets?" Ukyo replied sarcastically, much to Ranma's confusion (and a few painful memories of his speed training).

"…What are you talking about?" Ranma finally asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, everyone who considers themselves involved in this mess knows about you moving out. And that means that, as far as they're concerned, it's open season on you. Don't you think it would be smarter to get out of town for a while?" Ukyo asked patiently, trying to keep herself from sounding like she was pleading.

'Not to mention that I'm never going to make you see that I'm the one for you if we keep getting interrupted like we have.' Ukyo thought sourly.

Ranma shook his head. "I never run from a fight." He insisted stubbornly.

Ukyo was starting to get angry at Ranma's defiance; what was his problem? "It's not running if you're merely getting time to think on how to make your next attack, is it? After all, don't you have a technique based on that very idea?"

Ranma twitched, and Ukyo knew that her comment had glanced off the truth. Rather amazing; she had just thrown that out there due to her knowledge that Ranma's style was Anything Goes, she had no idea he really did have a technique based around running away to think of how to make a new attack. Somewhat in a lighter humor now, Ukyo decided to try and relieve the tension still further.

"Or is there some reason you don't want to leave town? Maybe you want to go back to the Tendo Dojo?"

She had been trying to make a joke, but the sudden silence and the shift in Ranma's body language made it all too clear that she had struck an unintentional nerve.

Ukyo blinked, "I don't believe it." She shook her head in disbelief, "You actually want to go back to see Akane? For what? To see if she'll take you back as her fiancé?"

Ukyo shook her head again as Ranma stayed silent, "Why the hell would you want to go back to Akane for? So she can hit over the head again? You're just like some freaking puppy! What the hell is so special about her, huh? Tell me!"

"At least she accepts me!" Ranma protested instinctively- and immediately realized that he probably couldn't have said something worse if he'd actually been trying to do so. Ukyo looked ready to explode, battle aura just starting to shimmer into the visible spectrum, when she visibly reigned herself back.

'How dare he!' Ukyo fumed. 'No, wait, calm down Ucchan; you've seen the little brat and Ranma go at this a hundred times before in the past, you know that if you start screaming at him, he'll just start screaming back. Calm down, and make him see sense- that's the way to get your point across!'

Ukyo sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Have you hit your head or something recently? Akane, accept you? She considers you a pervert and won't hear a word otherwise, and primarily because of your curse. She distrusts you and is all too willing to believe the worst of you, even when it's coming from people she should know are enemies of either you or her. She can be nice to you? So what! She's nice to everyone, even Ryoga and Mousse, and she's even nicer to them than she is to you- when was the last time she screamed at Ryoga, huh? Or bashed him in the head? Face it, you're low on her list of people she considers respectable."

Ukyo held up a finger as Ranma opened his mouth, "You want an example? How about when we went shopping yesterday and those Kuno maniacs chased us for three hours; Akane was right there, in case you've forgotten, and she was calling you a pervert every step of the way."

Ukyo sighed, "That's what's so damn confusing Ranma, why you always keep going back to Akane? Are you that desperate for friends Ranma that you make do with that brat?" Ranma made to say something but Ukyo was on a roll, "If that's so, then why not me? We were friends as kids Ranma, and I want to be your friend again."

"Ukyo... we are friends." Ranma insisted. "At least, I thought we were friends..."

"Until I said I wanted to marry you, is that right?" Ukyo closed her eyes as Ranma nodded, "There is no exclusion between wanting to be someone's friend and being in love with them, in fact I would say that there's no difference at all. And do you know what's the difference between Akane and myself?"

Ukyo continued before Ranma could answer Ukyo continued, "Constancy. Akane is fickle as the wind, unable to decide if she wants to help you or hurt you. Me, meanwhile, I know what I want; I want you, as a friend, as a lover, and I want to help you. So why is it that I'm always second best, no matter what I do? I give you free food, you barely spare me a thanks before running back to Akane. I went with you to Yumogi Valley to help you recover your strength, but you forget all about me when Akane shows up. Hell! Did you even thank me for trying to help you, for supporting you, for trying to give you all the solace and comfort I could?"

Ukyo paused to take several deep breaths, evidently aiming to calm herself down before speaking. When she did so, her voice was soft and faint. "I know that it's not all your fault, Ranma. I know that growing up with Genma means you don't really know what to say to a girl, or what a normal date is like, and I don't blame you for that. I can live with that- in a way, that innocence is part of your charm. It's the other stuff that hurts."

Ukyo turned away at that moment, "I'm going upstairs. Leave me alone."

Ranma could only sit and watch as Ukyo vanished up the steps, still reeling under the impacts of her words. Now, while Ranma was many things, both positive and negative, heartless he was not. Add to that the fact he truly considered himself and Ukyo to be friends, and that he had no idea he was actually hurting her in the way she claimed he was, and couldn't help but feel guilty. Finally, that guilt motivated him to get up and go after Ukyo.

When he finally found her, she was lying on her bed and most likely still crying, though it was impossible for him to say given that she was facing away from him and silent as the grave. For a long moment he stood there, trying to think of what to say, when Ukyo finally broke the silence for him.

"What do you want Ranma? I told you I wanted to be to be left alone for a while."

"I know that. I just... I... I wanted to say... that I'm sorry." Ranma finally said.

Now, Ukyo knew in her head that to actually hear an apology from Ranma was something rare, and rarely faked. However, her heart was still too consumed with pain to care.

"Yeah, so you're sorry. So now what? You gonna go back to that brat again once you're done buttering me up?"

Ranma winced; he was **really** out of his depth here, and he didn't have a clue as to how to try and solve things. Finally, as he had been taught to do, he went with instincts and winged it. "I ain't really any good with words, so I don't know what I can say to make up for everything, but I do want us to be friends Ukyo... I never had many friends, and I don't wanna lose you. Please, is there something I can do?"

Ukyo turned to face him, "There is one thing you can do."

Ranma's eyes widened hopeful. "What? What is it?"

Ukyo looked away, "Give me a chance. Just...give me a chance to prove that I actually give a damn about you. That's all I want, a chance."

Ranma almost visibly wilted with relief. "That's all? Of course! Anything you want Ucchan!"

With that, Ukyo stood up, "Then lets go do something interesting Ranchan, just the two of us. What do you say we get away from Nerima? Get away from these lunatics and just explore Japan. We can make a vacation out of it before we come back into the madhouse again."

Now, it must be admitted, Ranma did freeze up for a moment at that. However, he had given his word and he truly wanted to keep it. Besides, he had to admit that the idea of going back on the road for a while was tempting. He knew he'd be in for a world of hurt if he came back to Nerima after being away too long... ah, who was he kidding? He was in for hurt when he came back, period. So why not enjoy himself before paying the piper? He nodded his head.

"Sure, Ucchan, sounds good to me."

With that, Ukyo got off of her bed and the two of them began to get their stuff ready to close up shop and get out of town.

As he withdrew from that moment in time, Ranma-Prime shifted uneasily in his seat; did Ukyo's complaints about his counterpart in this timeline have any real validity? Had he really treated her that shabbily? Pushing those thoughts aside as best he could, he began to scroll ahead in the timeline, watching the details of Ranma and Ukyo's journey. Said details made both him and his counterpart feel strangely nostalgic; it reminded them both of the old days with Genma, wandering Japan in the name of perfecting their skills. Ranma-Prime couldn't help but wonder; had all of the opponents he'd fought on the road been as weird, creepy or just plain goofy as the ones his counterpart was facing, or had living in Nerima made him something of a freak magnet?

As he watched things unfold, he couldn't help but wonder; while Ukyo was clearly taking advantage of the openings into Ranma's shell that her tirade had wrought, was she really taking advantage of Ranma's feelings when she herself was motivated to do so by her own love for him? Ukyo didn't force herself against any emotional barricades that Ranma erected- instead, she simply stepped back, assessed them, and then slipped around them, or through any chinks she saw in them. So subtle was this method, as opposed to the blatant, brazen assaults of Shampoo and Kodachi, or even the machinations of Soun and Genma to support Akane, that Ranma couldn't really detect or react to it.

Take, for example, the most prominent facet; the sleeping arrangements. Ukyo had insisted that they had every right to sleep beside each other, not only because they used to do so when they were kids, but also because they were fiancées now. Ranma had insisted that it wasn't right. Ukyo had apparently backed off, but Ranma had woken up the next day to find Ukyo tucked in her sleeping bag… in his tent. He had complained, naturally, and Ukyo had meekly taken it… but the next day found her sleeping beside him again. Not matter what Ranma said, Ukyo would simply sneak in while he was asleep and go to sleep beside him. Even one case where they both ended up staying up all night to outlast the other failed to convince her to stop, and so Ranma finally acquiesced and just let her sleep beside him.

At first, Ukyo took no advantage of this; apparently content merely to be beside Ranma when she slept. Once Ranma grew comfortable with this arrangement, however, Ukyo began to… take liberties. Gradually, step-by-step, she made their arrangement more and more intimate until, one day… Ranma-Prime jerked out of the mirror, face flushed red enough for steam to gush from his ears and a tiny trickle of blood leaking from one nostril. Honest Abe looked up from where he was currently wresting with a particularly stubborn grimoire and couldn't help but laugh at Ranma-Prime's expression.

"Saw a bit more of the little lady than you were anticipating, eh?"

Ranma-Prime chose not to dignify that with a response. Instead, he began speeding back through the timeline, watching the trip from a far more detached viewpoint. He wondered why Ukyo led them on a rambling trip to the coast, then raised an eyebrow when she revealed her intention to take them both to China so Ranma could finally get a cure. Ranma's own protests about the risk this posed were countered with arguments that Shampoo, Cologne and Mousse, the primary local threats, were all in Japan and none of them would have any idea that Ranma had left the country.

The two did eventually come back to Nerima, though Ranma-Prime couldn't help but wonder if that had been Ukyo's intention all along, or if it was motivated by the metaphorical desire to rub her 5-month pregnant stomach in her enemies' faces. Or perhaps it was simply out of the desire to come to some manner of terms with Cologne, so as to call off Shampoo from her hunt. Ranma-Prime watched them trade about a dozen scrolls detailing new martial arts moves, an attempt to "pay the Joketsuzoku back" for teaching Ranma the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken.

Ukyo mentioned that the martial artists who had shared with them the secret of the "Ryuka Ringu" (Ring of Dragon Fire) technique in exchange for the location of Soun Tendo. From her tone, it implied that the Tendo patriarch wouldn't be too happy to see those martial artists. Ranma-Prime wondered why that might be for a moment, but finally decided against skipping back in the timeline to watch that event. He also made a mental note to mention the name of that move to Soun; the eldest Tendo had never really seemed much of a martial artist to him, and for all his eagerness to see "the Schools of Anything Goes united" he had never really shown that the Tendo School actually **had** any techniques to share. He was not going to be happy if it turned out the old men had been holding out on him…

Before his thoughts could go too far down that road, however, they were diverted by a rather unpleasant surprise. Namely, Cologne revealing that, while she could call off Shampoo's engagement to Ranma, she couldn't call off the Amazon engagement to the Saotomes- in other words; Ranma had proven such an attractive prospect that the Amazon leaders had decided the incorporation of his family into the tribe would be a net gain. Ranma and Ukyo's son would basically have the Amazon village champion of his generation come to woo him once she was 16.

Though this at first seemed like an ass-pull from Cologne to Ranma-Prime, he had to admit that he hadn't really studied the interactions between himself and the Joketsuzoku in other timelines, so it was quite plausible that the same scenario existed there as well. Feeling a little overwhelmed, he willed the mirror to deactivate while he processed everything he'd received from this timeline.

_As was mentioned before, Gideon020 and I have decided to throw out the order of the oneshots for this chapter and the next two, for reasons that will hopefully become clear when they're written. However, once those are out of the way, we will revert to the previously established order, so feel free to vote for your desired oneshots both in this chapter and in the next two to come. To remind you all of what oneshots currently remain, here's the list- as an added bonus, with the number of votes each oneshot has currently received._

_What If…_

_Akane's hose pushed Ranma out of the ring in his battle with Kodachi  
__Votes: 17_

_Ranma kissed Shampoo back when she gave him the "Kiss of Marriage"  
__Votes: 11_

_Kaori won the Takeout Race  
__Votes: 10_

_Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode  
__Votes: 9_

_What if Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?  
__Votes: 7_

_Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel  
__Votes: 7  
_  
_Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki  
__Votes: 7_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"  
__Votes: 6  
_  
_Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time  
__Votes: 6_

_Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo  
__Votes: 5  
_  
_When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, they replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride  
__Votes: 4_

_Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second  
__Votes: 4_

_During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do  
__Votes: 4  
_  
_When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face  
__Votes: 3_

_Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima  
__Votes: 3_

_Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China  
__Votes: 3  
_  
_Shampoo snapped her fingers before the cat sneezed when using the Kirahashi Mushroom  
__Votes: 2_

_Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer  
__Votes: 2  
_  
_Akane hadn't gone to Yumogi Valley?  
__Votes: 1_

_Ranma tasted Ukyo's sauce without spilling it?  
__Votes: 1_


	11. Parenting Potential

**Another** Rainy Day in Nerima

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** happy new year, to all those of you who've had the patience to wait for my return. Now, normally this chapter would have been decided by vote. However, for various reasons, Gideon020 and I have decided to throw the order out of whack for this chapter and the next two after it. Please continue to vote; as that will determine what oneshots we begin tackling after these three chapters are done.

Chapter 9: Parenting Potential

Ranma had seen much in the Eye of Zygyg, but… for a reason he couldn't explain, yet which might have had something to do with the bulge in Ukyo's stomach, the promise of a son or a daughter, he felt compelled to ask if there was something more he could see with this Heartbourne Eye.

"Hey, Abe? How far into the future can I look with this thing?"

"It's hard to put a specific limit on it. What are you trying to do?" Abe looked up from the object he was currently tinkering with, something vaguely like an ouji board, only with runes and a carved gemstone, and then smiled. "Ah, I see; you want to make sure that you'll be a better dad than Genma was, eh?"

"I couldn't be any worse." Ranma groused with a hint of worry, who hadn't thought of that possibility before now.

"Trust me, there are far worse than him out there. I met this one customer once, rather nerdy sort, yet weirdly charismatic for it. If I'd known just what he was after, I would have rammed a Fireball Bead where the sun don't shine and considered myself a better person for it. When his old lady died, he tossed his kid out like a piece of rubbish so he could mope for her uninterrupted. Real sick freak, he was." Abe said distastefully, scowling at the memories.

Ranma looked askance at the self-admitted wizard, but chose not to comment, instead staring once more into his magical mirror. Which timeline he would investigate first was a no-brainer; he wanted to see Ukyo's son. He couldn't really decide what he wanted to see, but the mirror seemed to sense his indecision and began to look in on a random scene, Ranma content to merely go along for the ride.

Nerima's vacant lots had seen much use, in their time, as impromptu camp-sites and training spots for wandering martial artists. No one knew when it started, it just was. And the vacant lot currently being shown to Ranma-Prime was being used right now, the distinctive sounds of one martial artist practicing their skills echoing into the surrounding streets. The current occupant was Seichi Saotome, eldest child of Ranma and Ukyo Saotome. And the new title was really feeling strange to him; until about six months ago, when his parents had sheepishly announced Ukyo was pregnant again, he had been the only Saotome child. It wasn't that he minded being an elder brother; he just wondered why they had waited until he was 16 to have kids again. Any tension about that fact had been worked out months ago- he'd taken after his father in that regard.

No, what was currently bothering him was something much newer and much more personal. He had found out earlier today from his parents that he was engaged- and to a girl none of them had ever met before. They had mentioned their run-ins with the "Joketsuzoku", a village of female martial artists from the nowhere-lands of China, before, but never had they mentioned anything about him being intended to marry a girl from there! He had been told the story in full detail, and he knew in a detached manner that it wasn't their fault, but suddenly finding out you were engaged to a girl even his parents had never met was still disconcerting.

As he began throwing himself into his kata with even greater fervor, his danger senses suddenly screamed at him. With the speed and skill expected of a Saotome martial artist, he whirled around and struck, deflecting the speeding projectile in mid-air with almost contemptuous ease, settling into a battle-ready posture as he withdrew from the blow. He was rewarded with the sound of clapping.

"Was there any reason for that, or was that your idea of fun?" Seichi asked casually before turning to see just who had shot at him.

Standing on the rooftop was a Chinese girl, the likes of which Seichi would freely admit that he had never seen before. It wasn't the silver hair, tied up into a number of braids; it was the height of her- she was easily as tall as his father, though possessed of a definitely feminine slenderness. Tall as she was, she was clearly no dainty wallflower- the fact she was actually carrying a dadao, a Chinese greatsword, in one hand with all the effort of a tennis racket was ample proof of that. Seichi couldn't quite fathom what she was carrying in her other hand though. Not because it was extremely heavy or anything (though, from what he knew, they did have a decent heft to them), it was because of a simple fact: who would use an antique weapon like a zhuge nu in this day and age? This she slung away before bounding down to join him in the vacant lot, studying him as blatantly as he was studying her.

Lo Xiong felt a twitch as she regarded the boy that Khu Lon said was Seichi Saotome. Prospective husband or not, no woman would be able to simply ignore those almost effeminate looks, the type that her friend Sou Pu's manga called 'Bishonen'. Well, at least his hair was cut short; Lo Xiong didn't know whether she'd be able to handle a boy with better hair than her. Finally, she decided to break the silence- best to confirm that this really was her future husband (and she wasn't too sure she'd mind that much if it turned out she had the wrong person here).

"Are you Seichi Saotome?"

"That depends; are you Lotion, of the Joketsuzoku?" He fired back.

Lo Xiong quirked an eyebrow, with a hint of interest, at the speed and defiance of his retort. Her size and strength tended to intimidate others, so she naturally preferred those with courage. And if this boy was Seichi, and he did have the right attitude, then maybe he wouldn't be such a bad fiancé after all- bad enough to be engaged to a boy who looked like a girl; worse still one who was a dainty, cowardly fop.

"Does the pretty boy want to fight, then? Aren't you scared I'll mess up your good looks?"

"My name is Seichi Saotome, and even messed up, I'd still be better looking that you. Not that you can actually hit me." Seichi drawled in response. He was used to getting mocked for his looks, so he'd learned to put up with them. Nevertheless, if this girl wanted a fight, he'd be happy to give her one.

Lo Xiong, unfortunately for her, was not so adept at controlling her temper. She flushed and swung her dadao menacingly. "You got a mouth on you, don't you? Well, I am Lo Xiong of the Joketsuzoku, and I accept your challenge."

"May I point out that you were the one who shot a bolt at me first?" Seichi commented.

What might have happened next was anyone's guess, but as it was, the thick cloud cover that had been looming over the town for several hours now chose that moment to dump its load, a heavy shower opening in surprisingly little time. Seichi took it in stride- for some reason, even though his father had been cured of Jusenkyo's transforming curse before Seichi had been born, all of the Saotomes retained a weird knack for attracting water, hot or cold. As a result, he was used to being wet; it wasn't really a problem for him. For Lotion, however, that was far from the case; before Seichi's eyes, the towering Amazon girl shrank down into her clothes and vanished, her last expression one of dismay and embarrassment. Seichi stared at the apparently empty pile of clothing in disbelief, which gave way to understanding when a very depressed looking fox- with silver and golden fur, reluctantly crawled out.

Ranma-prime pulled out of the timeline at that moment. "Well, they're getting on like a house on fire." He commented aloud to nobody in general. The choice of the next child to look in on was obvious; the only child he had seen himself as a father to was Kasumi's daughter Yuzu. Obediently, the Eye shifted through reality and began to display for him.

Ranma was looking at a ruined section of city, the ruins of Tokyo Tower situated below a gigantic alien vessel as tiny UFOs flitted around it. Finally, one of the small vehicles, which looked about as big as a small car, hovered to a stop above the pavement and extend four legs and landed with a soft metallic thud and the glass dome retracted in a cloud of steam.

Ranma-prime was on the edge of his seat as a figure hopped out of the craft and waddled, actually waddled out of the steam to reveal...a purple polka-dotted penguin at least four feet tall holding a rifle with a section of the weapon glowing an ominous yellow. Then it blinked and simply said…

"Wark?"

Ranma-prime sweat-dropped as an incredulous smile came to his face, "The earth gets invaded by purple polka-dotted midget penguins if I marry Kasumi? What the hell? What the hell is a penguin going to do?"

As if to answer the question, the penguin aimed its rifle at a Japanese Ground Self-Defense Force tank that had rumbled onto the scene and fired. With a harsh **Zark!** sound, a bolt of yellow-white light hit the tank and it exploded in a garish fireball that had Ranma-prime sweating, not only from the firepower the penguin was packing, but also from the fact that in the corner of the mirror, tiny kanji had popped up that actually said, "This is not a drug trip. The Earth is actually being invaded."

Ranma-prime wondered why the mirror had stopped on this point; wasn't he supposed to be seeing how one of his potential future children turned out? Then he saw a shadow move in a wrecked building and get closer to the celebrating alien penguin, and just as it sensed something approaching, the shadow struck. He winced as the penguin-thing exploded into a spray of purple ichor and jelly-like meat, whereupon the shadow scraped its boot against the pavement with a distinctly feminine noise of disgust before the light shifted and Ranma-prime saw the alien's killer revealed.

She was sixteen and the combination of hard blue-gray eyes and braided brown hair easily allowed Ranma-prime to see that this was his daughter. Ranma-prime had wondered what sort of clothing she would be wearing, but it was clear that he had missed the mark in terms of wardrobe. She was wearing what was easily nothing more than normal casual street clothes, the kind that no one took notice of and Ranma-prime nodded in satisfaction at the realization that she could essentially vanish into a crowd with little trouble. Though the handcuffs hooked on her belt and the obviously reinforced gloves were the only things about her that raised an eyebrow from Ranma-prime, she looked essentially like a normal teenage girl even as she kicked off a stray piece of gore still attached to her boots.

She shook her head in fairly obvious disbelief- not that Ranma-Prime blamed her, as he himself couldn't believe what had just happened. "Purple polka-dotted pygmy penguins from the planet Sigma...." She muttered to herself.

Then she frowned, and suddenly shouted, "Dammit Jewel! What the hell is this?"

Ranma-Prime had no need to wonder who "Jewel" was, as he chose that moment to appear. A Chinese boy of about the girl's age, the mirror depicted him with a kind of subtle 'glow' to him; not battle aura, but something else. Could it be... magic? He was quite obviously Shampoo's son, no matter what he was: his hair was the spitting image of hers in style and color (a shade darker than his mother's, maybe). Ranma-Prime couldn't help but wonder if Jewel was actually his name, some kind of translation, or a nickname. The latter seemed most likely, given the elaborate gemstone facial piercings the boy sported.

Then he replied calmly, as though having expected the violent outburst, "You could say that this is the weirdest week we've had this month Yuzu." Then he flicked his hand and a stream of flames consumed the alien corpse as the girl, who Ranma realized was 'Yuzu', snorted and spat on the ground.

"Not even a challenge. You'd think that an alien invasion would actually be difficult to fight." She snarled and turned towards the alien ship, "You hear me you bastards? How about a real challenge down here!"

Ranma-prime blinked, and then bowed his head while shaking it ruefully; if this was his daughter, then it only meant one thing… one hell of a fight. A glance at the mirror showed a large shape being launched from the alien ship towards the pair, prompting a predatory smile as Yuzu cracked her knuckles while Jewel rolled his eyes and backed away from the girl as the shape smashed into the concrete, the dust hiding it before, with a sound like a train wreck mating with an earthquake, a giant leg came out of the dust to arc down and slam meters from Yuzu, whose smile only widened at the possible size of her opponent.

She wasn't disappointed and Ranma couldn't help but wonder: what had his counterpart done to raise a kid who was willing to face off against a giant robot with her bare fists? Then he shook his head. No, he had to admit; Yuzu was the sort of kid that he'd end up raising, no matter who her mom was. Still, that Jewel guy hadn't made a move, and, hell, he was still as a statue while Yuzu was a blur in action, fists tearing holes and ki-blasts ripping through the amour of the alien war-machine as it staggered like a drunk. Then Jewel moved, his hands moving in strange patterns while he began a short chant in a strange language that Ranma-prime couldn't identify before the hands faced palms out at the machine, and a triple helix of energy leaped out towards the machine.

The first strand of energy struck a section of one of the other legs and Ranma-prime winced at the heat that quickly made the metal glow white-hot. Then the second stream hit and the section was hit by ice, exploding into steam and superheated water, the shock causing the metal to shatter and warp.

Then the final stream, a blast of electricity, snaked through the hole and the machine jerked and twitched madly, smoke and sparks flying from joints and holes made by Yuzu as the girl in question landed on top of the machine and with a warcry and an almighty punch, the cockpit caved in and Yuzu nonchalantly leaped off to land as agile as a cat before holding her arms up in victory, "Hah! Flawless! Didn't even get a scratch on my perfect body!"

Jewel chuckled. "Looks like your ego didn't get scratched either. Pity, it could have used some deflating before you started floating away on your own hot air."

He ducked a ki-blast as Yuzu started chasing him, Ranma-prime watching the scene while shaking his head just as the mists came in to finish the end of this little preview.

Having seen the two children he knew existed (sort of- proper tenses when time travel was involved was almost as confusing as proper gender nouns when a person switched sexes due to water), Ranma-Prime wondered where to go from here. He figured that the other timelines he'd seen probably had kids show up at some point, so the Eye should be able to direct him there. The question was: which child should he look in on next?

Ranma leaned on a fist with his free hand idly shifting the mirror to see how it played with the light before he decided on seeing how a kid between Nabiki and him would work out and focused his attention on the mirror, which obediently began moving through the threads of time. The scene that the Eye was now showing Ranma-Prime was a familiar one- so familiar, in fact, that it took him a few moments to recognize it as the very street that he and Akane took to reach Furinkan High School. The brown-haired, blue eyed girl currently racing along it, a piece of toast clamped firmly in her mouth, even reminded him of his and Akane's own occasional frantic rushes to school. The biggest change was her semi-frantic litany of "Oh crap, oh, crap, oh crap, why does this always happen?"

This scene of perfect normality was disrupted when a figure suddenly hurled itself from the mouth of a side-street at the girl as she passed by, with a loud declaration of "Kin Saotome, I shall claim your panties!" erupting from it as it did so.

The whole thing happened so fast that Ranma-prime barely had time to verify that it wasn't Happosai (too tall, and the choice of words was more like Kuno) but some completely new freak before the aforementioned Kin simultaneously scowled in fury, shouted "get lost you pervert!" (Catching the toast neatly in her hand as she did so) and kicked backwards, catching her attacker cleanly in the head and sending them skywards into LEO.

"I give that an 8.7." Ranma-prime muttered to himself.

As the mysterious attacker vanished into the sky, Kin shuddered. "Why am I the only one that freak targets? Does she get off on getting beaten or something?" She complained. "Ack, I'm late!" She suddenly shrieked, remembering the rush she was in, and promptly tearing off down the street again, shoving her toast back into her mouth as she did so.

A brief timeskip later, and it was lunchtime at Furinkan. Kin was sitting at her desk with a group of about four other girls gathered around her, eating and talking just like any teenager.

"So, Kin, how'd you do in that big maths test?" Asked one girl, notable by her hairstyle- it kind of reminded Ranma-Prime of Azusa Shiratori.

"…Not so good." Kin finally revealed. "Mr. Daisuke said my father used to get better marks in maths, never mind my mother."

The other girls winced and murmured in sympathy, while Ranma-Prime had to fight off a momentary brain freeze: Nabiki's daughter, bad at maths? It just wasn't right! Finally, a different girl, one with obviously dyed red hair, broke the silence.

"Still, it's not all bad, right? I mean, you do better in the other classes, right?"

"Yeah, if you call 'ranging from "just passing" to "purely average" better, sure." Kin grumbled, then sighed dramatically. "My academics suck, my physical classes are embarrassing, and to top it all off, Yukio still doesn't seem to know I even exist." She put a hand to her forehead and leaned back in her seat in a theatrical manner. "Oh, why must the life of a schoolgirl be so unfair?"

None of her friends looked very impressed with her antics. "Oh, sure, you're acing every damn PE activity you get involved with, you're the best fighter in school, and your dad is A: a famous martial artist and B: hotter than any guy in his 30s has any right to be. Yeah, your life really sucks, big time." Groused the girl with Azusa's haircut.

"Chidori, that's just plain creepy. And I don't want to be the best fighter in school- I mean, would any of you want to be able to beat up every jock in school at once?" Kin asked.

Unfortunately, her attempt to prove her point backfired fairly predictably when each and every girl sitting with her promptly replied with some variant of "yep". She slapped her forehead and groaned in exasperation, but whatever she might have said or done next was cut off as a voice suddenly rang out.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for Kin Saotome- is she in this classroom?"

Just about everyone looked up from what they were doing to the door of the classroom, where a fairly ordinary looking guy was standing. At least, ordinary to them- the way he moved was ample evidence to Ranma-Prime that he had to be a martial artist, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe the black of the guy's hair was a bit too dark… maybe dyed? Anyway, he would have bet money that this guy was this timeline's version of the "Amazon Groom" sent to claim the Saotome bloodline for the Joketsuzoku. Or maybe he was just being paranoid and this was a challenger or something; hard to say.

"I'm Kin Saotome. Why do you want to know?"

The stranger walked over until he was standing in front of Kin's desk, before theatrically putting his hands on his hips and declaring. "Kin Saotome, I have come a great distance to test your skills in combat. I challenge you to meet me at-"

He broke off suddenly, interrupted by an audible sniveling sound. He stared at Kin in obvious shock, quite understandable given that the girl had suddenly teared up and looked ready to burst into Soun Tendo-level waterworks. "…What's wrong?" He finally asked in deep confusion.

"You're cruel…! Why do you want to pick on me, I've never done anything to you!" Kin suddenly burst out, following her words with a torrent of tears quite clearly inherited from her maternal grandfather. The stranger recoiled, clearly confused beyond words, but just when the situation seemed like it couldn't get any weirder… it did. The red-haired girl delivered a thunderous slap to the back of Kin's head, an irritated look on her face.

"Knock it off, Kin! Kami, you try to pull this stunt every time! Where's your pride as a martial artist?"

"I think you're confusing me with another girl." Kin groused.

Ranma-Prime chose that moment to withdraw; this was just too weird. A part of him began to wonder (and another part to fear): if these were his children from the Japanese timelines, then just what sort of children he'd become a father to in the timelines where he had become a member of the Joketsuzoku? Finally, his (morbid?) curiosity overwhelming him, he decided to look in on the timeline where he had married Shampoo- the potential horrors of what awaited him in the one where he'd married Shampoo and Ukyo simultaneously meant that he wanted to put off viewing that for as long as possible.

The scene that the Eye unveiled before his eyes depicted a teenaged boy practicing by himself near a glassy pond. Ranma-Prime couldn't help but smirk: even if he hadn't been the one to direct the Eye, he would easily have recognized the boy as being Shampoo's son. The eyes, the same red as his mother's, were one give away; the reddish-purple hair was another. The strangest thing about the boy, at first glance, was his choice in weapons; neither Japanese nor Chinese in origin, they were basically single-edged sword blades that projected at an angle from a band around either wrist, jutting back along his forearm to stick out past his elbow.

Though the adjustments made to the style to account for his weapons were obvious, and it was clearly more orientated towards offense than Ranma's own version, it was plain to see that the boy's fighting method was nothing less than Saotome Anything-Goes. Ranma was rather surprised at the sudden swell of pride, both parental and as a martial artist, that flooded his heart as he studied the diligence and capability of this "son that might have been". Finally, he finished his practicing with a final elaborate flourish, then walked over to the pond before kneeling down and scooping up a handful of water to drink. As he went for a second handful, a voice spoke from somewhere out of view.

"So, Yemon, you really intend to go through with this?"

Pausing only to nonchalantly drink his fill, Yemon wiped his mouth and replied, not even bothering to look in the speaker's direction. "Yes, I do. I fail to see why you care, Okkuu."

The grass stirred nearby, before an ordinary looking ferret crawled out and fixed Yemon with a steely gaze, pausing to scratch its ear with its hindleg. When it spoke, in perfectly understandable Japanese, Ranma-Prime was, needless to say, a little shocked. But compared to people who turned into animals when wet, and three thousand year old ghostly cats who were after human wives, a talking ferret was normal. Wait; what was he saying? It was almost boringly mundane.

"Oh, I don't care, but I just don't see why you want to go through with a ritual that's considered archaic and pointless- and you people still keep hold of the Kisses of Death and Life! Why do you want to leave this place, where you've lived all your life?"

"It's precisely because I've lived here all my life that I want to go. I wanna see the world, meet new people, fight strong opponents, maybe even meet that special someone every person wants to meet."

He sighed, somewhat melodramatically, and the ferret audibly snickered.

"What girl in their right mind would want to date a fight-crazed loser like you? Name one girl who's approached you here who you can prove didn't just want in with your parents- and they're only famous here in the Byankalas."

Yemon's face went blank and expressionless, the martial artist fixing a frigid stare at the talking ferret, who ignored it casually, before getting up and striding away. The ferret watched him go, then sighed and scurried after him.

The mists gently overlapped the picture, then faded away again, depicting a moment slightly ahead in time of the original scene it had shown him, consisting of Yemon standing outside of Ranma and Shampoo's house with Cologne at his side, a rather battered pack on his shoulders, and two rather upset young girls standing near his father and mother.

"…Well, I guess this is it. It's time for me to go." Yemon finally said.

Ranma nodded, then clapped his son comradely on the shoulder. "Take care of yourself in Japan, son. I still don't really see why you feel you gotta go there to train when there's all of China to explore."

"Well, you managed to get good there, didn't you? I just thought it was time I saw what the place you came from was like." Yemon replied.

Ranma seemed about ready to say something on that rather flimsy excuse, when Shampoo gently touched his shoulder, that simple contact apparently all it took to make him reign himself in. One of the girls, slightly taller than the other, spoke up instead.

"Do you really have to go, Yemon-chan? I don't like that I'm never gonna see you again." The girl spoke with a quivering lower lip and her eyes were wide and tearful, as if she was about to burst into tears if the young man continued on with his decision. Any other person would likely have faltered and Ranma-Prime certainly felt a slight tug at his heartstrings looking at that cutesy expression.

"Oh, Sakuranbo, I won't be gone forever… and what have I told you about acting all cutesy like that? You're ten years old- you should have more pride in yourself."

The ten-year-old flushed a red that was almost as bright as the cherry hue of her hair. Meanwhile, her slightly shorter sister (who, weirdly, had the exact same hair colour while otherwise looking completely different) suddenly chose that moment to lunge forward and latch onto Yemon's waist, prompting a hint of an irritated grimace before his expression went blank as plastic.

"Ying, cut that out. When you're eight years old, you're too old to do things like this." Yemon said, his voice ice-cold and almost cruelly collected. Ying looked up at him, eyes wet with tears, though it was hard to say whether from the fact her elder brother was leaving or from the tone of voice, then finally let him go and stepped away from him, whereupon Yemon's expression softened slightly.

"That's better. Look, I know you don't want me to leave, but this is something I gotta do. I'll come back home soon, I promise."

Ying sniffed and wiped away a few tears, evidently over any upset caused by Yemon's sudden brusque behaviour, but stepped back and nodded. Yemon smiled gently at her, then turned to leave, Cologne waiting behind to share conspiratorial gestures with her great-grandchildren before pogoing after her great-great-grandson. The scene was disrupted when Okkuu suddenly spoke up.

"So, why is it that **I** have to come again?" The talking ferret complained.

"Because when we're apart too long, we suffer terrible pain and then die." Yemon responded calmly.

"…That's not an excuse!" Okkuu finally snapped.

Ranma watched his son and great-grandmother-in law leave, his daughters running after them with the intent to follow them to the village's edge, and sighed as he shook his head. "I kind of knew that something like this was always going to happen… but still…"

"Martial artists have to wander if they want to prove themselves truly worthy of the title. It's just the way things are. If it's any comfort, then be relieved that at least you won't have to do this with Sakuranbo and Ying." Shampoo said, laying a comforting hand on Ranma's upper arm.

"That's true. Sakuranbo wants to be Healer- ever since she was a little girl. And Ying wants to join the Loremasters so she can 'make the pretty lights' like Lei Xiu does." Ranma mused, suddenly wincing as Shampoo's fingers began to dig into his flesh.

"That… boy… had better stay away from my little girl!" She hissed.

"…Shamps, we've been over this before; Lei Xiu is a good boy and he's no worse an influence on Ying than any of her other friends. You've got to stop treating him like he's evil just because his father was exiled from Togenkyo- need I remind you of what **my** father was like?"

Ranma's tone was no less bitter than it had been after Genma had first betrayed him in this timeline, and Ranma-Prime chose that moment to withdraw from the Eye. His curiosity aroused, he left off reactivating the mirror's magic to ask a question.

"Abe? What's Togenkyo?"

"Togenkyo? It's a magical kingdom, located somewhere in the South Seas."

"…Somewhere? Can you be a little more specific?" Ranma asked.

"No, I can't- the damn thing's on a floating island dominated by a peach tree the size of a mountain. It's got a long history of martial arts and illusion magic- as a matter of fact, the royal family is traditionally expected to be a master of both." Abe explained.

"I see… so why would Shampoo be so distrustful of someone who came from Togenkyo?"

"The Joketsuzoku don't like Togenkyo much- and you can't really blame them; they are slavers."

"…Slavers? In this day and age?" Ranma finally asked in disbelief.

"Pretty much. They kidnap women from other lands and force them to marry the locals- y'see, the giant peach tree is magical, and at its center is a spring that, thanks to the tree's sap, has become a powerful transformative spring. Anything touched by its waters is turned into a man- there's something of a tradition of using it on animals to make bestial men as warriors and guardians. And before you get any ideas, I don't know if it would cure your Jusenkyo curse or not, but I wouldn't recommend going there: mixing magic can be dangerous. Anyway, this water contaminates all of their groundwater, so any women who live on the island can only bear sons while they're there. That means Togenkyo needs to keep kidnapping women from outside to have children."

As Abe finished his explanation, Ranma nodded to himself. That explained everything, and gave him a possible cure- though he wasn't stupid enough to go chasing after this one blindly. That was something that could wait for later: for now, he resumed his peering into Zygyg's Eye.

The only two choices left were the 'double marriage' timeline, and Kodachi's timeline- well, technically, he had two choices for Kodachi, but they both had the same general 'root', so he didn't suppose that it really mattered which he looked in on. As he'd already seen one example of an Amazon child, he decided to look in on the Saotomes-nee-Kunos. The mirror obligingly showed him two children, a boy and a girl- strangely, while the others he had seen had all been about his own age of 16, he had a distinct sense that these two (twins, if he was any judge) were younger than that, though he had no idea how old they were.

"Come on Hisoka, momma's got our presents!" Hiromi Saotome-Kuno tugged at her twin brother's arm as the boy groaned and raised a messy head of short hair to stare at a digital clock while his sister bounced in place, causing her waist-length hair to fly everywhere as he grunted and allowed himself to be dragged out of bed.

"Ugh, how do you get so hyper in the morning Hiromi?" Yawning slightly, Hisoka adjusted the collar of his shirt as Hiromi bounced in all directions as the family's servants nimbly dodged and weaved around the girl in their tasks while those who were not working bowed to the young twins as they arrived at the breakfast room and entered.

Seated at the table were the twin's parents and Ranma-Prime raised an eyebrow; while his counterpart only had a ponytail instead of the usual pigtail- and was wearing what appeared to be a casual business ensemble, those were the only differences from his norm. Meanwhile, the seated Kodachi appeared almost like a queen, and Ranma-Prime gave a low whistle at the regal beauty reading business documents with sharp eyes while the children took their seats and were served, sharing morning pleasantries with their father while their mother simply nodded, but Ranma-Prime could see that it was only because she was so focused on the document in front of her before she took a pen, signed it with a flourish and passed it to a personal assistant standing nearby before her face was split by a radiant smile.

"And how does it feel to be another year older my darlings?" Ranma could practically feel the motherly warmth radiating from the woman; who knew that Kodachi could mellow out enough to be a mother? He shrugged as he refocused his attention to the scene as Kodachi shared a look with her husband, who winced slightly before starting to speak.

"Kids, your mother and I have been...discussing the matter of your birthday presents." Hiromi cheered while Hisoka smiled slightly as Ranma motioned for the girl to calm down, "Your mother feels that since the two of you are now thirteen, that you can handle the responsibility and discipline of more advanced training in the Art." At the confused looks from the two, Ranma sighed, "Remember when your mother asked the two of you what sort of weapons you would want to use once you were old enough?" At the two nods, Ranma glanced at Kodachi who regarded him with a regal stare that plainly said, 'You are not backing out of this' and continued, "Well, your advanced training will now consist of training to master weapons along with unarmed combat, starting with the weapons you chose when you were ten."

Ranma-Prime saw that his counterpart was nervous for some reason, as Kodachi snapped her fingers and an older Sasuke appeared in a puff of smoke holding a pair of large cases that he handed to a pair of servants, who opened them to reveal a coiled whip that had a metallic sheen to its length and a pair of traditional Japanese kodachi or short swords, crossed over each other with an obvious pattern of circuitry on the blades as the two children gasped in wonder at the weapons.

Kodachi smiled warmly, "Happy birthday Hisoka, Hiromi."

Beaming hugely, like any kid with a present, Hisoka took the whip and Hiromi the kodachi, and then the two of them ran eagerly for the window, opening it and leaping out into the garden to eagerly test their new presents. Kodachi turned that warm smile on a relived looking Ranma.

"And you were afraid that they would start practicing indoors."

"Well, kids can get carried away when they're excited. But, you're right, I should have had a little more faith in them." Ranma replied, walking over to the window to watch his offspring merrily do their best to kill each other. Kodachi joined him in a contended silence, which lasted until she, somewhat reluctantly, broke it.

"Ranma? Are you… happy… being a father?"

Ranma looked confused as he replied that of course he did, so why was Kodachi asking. Kodachi looked shyly down at her feet as she went on speaking.

"Well, I've been giving things some thought and, um… how do I say this? Would you like, I mean, would you mind having, oh, this is so hard to phrase delicately…"

She was cut off when a smiling Ranma put a gentle finger on her lips. "If this is your way of asking if I'd mind having more children, then no, I wouldn't mind… but are you prepared to go through with what it takes to get them?"

Kodachi's face took on an expression of predatory delight, her arms snaking quickly around Ranma's neck. Leaning in towards him, she purred hungrily. "Prepared? I'm looking forward to it…"

And that was when Ranma-Prime chose to leave this timeline. With only one choice left to examine, Ranma sent the Eye peering into the future of his 'double-wedding'. When it promptly showed him the sight of a hole in the mountains, he couldn't help but wonder for a second if it might have malfunctioned. Then it 'zoomed in' and he found himself peering at a crumbling, ancient building buried within the stones, a sight which he was actually rather familiar with thanks to his training trip and his father's fascination with... er... "obscure" training locales. Two figures were currently occupying the room, lit by the flickering of a basketball sized orb of blue flames that floated lazily and randomly around the ceiling. Standing in a posture that simultaneously suggested she was on guard and that she was too bored to actually do her job was a girl who looked surprisingly like Ranma's girl form... only Ranma wouldn't have been caught dead in clothes like that! The meteor hammer (the weight of which was A: several times the size of an ordinary meteor hammer's, easily the size of a flail's head, and B: apparently made out of rock) she was swinging around idly was also a difference. She stretched lazily and then gave an exaggerated sigh.

"This is boring! Katsutoshi, why is this taking so long?"

Her companion, and most likely brother, looked up from where he was rummaging in a pile of debris, idly brushing a forelock of green hair (which, given the rest of his hair was dark blue, kind of put Ranma in mind of a skunk stripe) out of his eyes in an unconscious reaction.

"Patience, Hatsumi; there's a reason it's called dungeon crawling, you know."

Hatsumi merely grimaced. "But why are we here anyway?" She whined.

"Well, it depends. **You** are here because you're nosy and you thought you'd get points with both our mothers by tagging along to 'watch my back'. **I** am here because I want to further my studies."

"...You mean that crazy old hag the Loremasters have currently assigned to be your teacher is sending you to retrieve some trinket or other as one of her little 'tests'." Hatsumi observed.

"Precisely. So don't you complain when you had a choice! I had plans for today, and delving inside this old ruin wasn't part of them!"

"Oh? Little brother had a hot date today?" Hatsumi teased.

"Yes, I did, actually." Katsutoshi bit out. When Hatsumi's expression of shock at the blatant admission of truth became a deeply suspicious one instead, he voiced an audible groan. "Knock it off, sis; I'm sick of you treating Ra'fylle like some kind of brain-sucking monster, just because she happens to come from outer space..."

Any further comments he might have been about to make (and Ranma-Prime was torn between whether or not he wanted the whole story) were cut off as a rock wall suddenly exploded outward with a tremendous roar, the stones reshaping themselves into a roughly humanoid form.

"Don't see many of those these days." Ranma-Prime commented casually. An outsider would have been shocked at how he wasn't filled with worry for the fates of his semi-children, but Ranma had confidence enough that they could take care of themselves.

Hatsumi sniffed, "And that is exactly why I have to keep an eye on her. Who knows what sort of insidious plot she has to take over the world?"

Katsutoshi simply blinked, before opening his mouth and then shutting it again before he spoke.

"...Have you been playing that X-Com game on Mei-Ling's computer again? I swear that game is meant to reinforce a negative stereotype that all aliens want to take over the Earth."

Hatsumi sniffed, turning her nose up at the accusation. "I don't see all aliens as evil...just Ra'fylle."

Katsutoshi snapped his fingers. "Ah ha! I knew it! It's not that she's an alien, you're jealous that I have someone and you don't!"

As his sister spluttered and tried to deny the accusation, the rock golem apparently had enough of waiting around and charged with a sound like an avalanche making out with an feedback-ridden amplifier, intent on crushing the pair in one attack.

What it got was a blast of pure shadow slicing off its arm as the girl leapt forwards and spun like an eye-watering tornado, meteor hammer striking like its namesake. Even as the giant golem's skin suddenly shifted into diamond, the hammer hit with enough force to crack the crystal, gaining a raised eyebrow from Ranma-Prime as he wondered what the head of the hammer could be made out of as Hatsumi brought it down in a vicious overhead swing that sent a crack clean down the center of the beast, before it shattered like glass as shadows wrapped around it and squeezed in some parody of a giant snake, sending huge chunks of diamond crashing to the cave floor.

Katsutoshi shook his head even as his sister began grabbing diamonds and stuffing them into her pockets, and grabbed a few of the better looking pieces to slip into the many pockets of his coat. Then Hatsumi whirled to face him, "For your information, I am not jealous of you having a girlfriend! I just don't like that alien!"

Katsutoshi shook his head as the pair started walking deeper into the cave, "And pigmen will start sprouting wings to fly." Mists rolled in as the pair began to resume their argument.

Ranma leaned back in his chair, stretching in a manner someone else might have likened to a cat- and almost leaping out of his chair when a sudden burst of thunder seemed to erupt just outside. Lightning could now be seen flickering through the windows, and Ranma's annoyance was almost a palpable thing.

"Oh, come on! The TV didn't say anything about any hurricanes! Where is this damn storm coming from?"

"It's Nerima- big storms like this aren't exactly uncommon." Abe pointed out. "It's not really business, but you're fine to crash here for the night if it won't let up- and if they couldn't even bother to come and see you at the hospital, I don't think they'll miss you for a day or so."

Ranma nodded gratefully, then began to look thoughtful. Now, he had seen himself wedded to each of the girls besides Akane, but he couldn't help but wonder: were there any timelines where he ended up with yet someone else? Someone he hadn't even met (at least, so far) or to which he had no 'official' ties?

Apparently reading his mind, the Eye began to wander once again...

_And that's this chapter up at last. We hope you enjoyed our little peek into the futures of Ranma from the stories we've shown you already. The next chapter will be our Ranma/OC one, which Vassago-Toxicity has so kindly offered to beta for us. However, that means that chapter 11 (by chapter titles) will be voted for as normal. The previous chapter has the oneshots remaining to tackle, so vote for the one you'd like to see done next, please!_

_Oh, and this goes out to SuperLardBucket and all the others who keep advocating me to read the manga. Now pay attention to this, because I'm not going to repeat myself. I got into Ranma ½ via the manga- I read the manga first, and then I watched the anime. When I was done, I decided that I preferred the anime. Don't keep telling me that I'll like the manga better- I've seen the manga, I read it first, I liked it less. There's an essay I could write on this subject, particularly on the "adaptation decay" most accuse the anime of having, but that's not what this site is for, or why I'm here. I'm here to write fanfiction._


	12. A First Meeting

Another Rainy Day in Nerima

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** readers will note that this chapter is quite different to the other chapters in this story. After this choice was chosen, Gideon020 and I realized that, to really do justice to a Ranma/OC pairing, we would need more room than this oneshot, or indeed this story, would allow. So, eventually, we settled for this format, focusing on the two meeting and giving them cause to start traveling together.

CrypticMirror; no, I will not touch that idea. Ranma's identity is firmly established as heterosexual male; he would never hook up with another guy, even if locked in his cursed state, unless his mind was completely distorted- and that is, in my opinion, little more than character rape.

Dumbledork; for similar reasons, I am afraid I must reject your suggestion. Ranma does not think of himself as female in the slightest, and the very idea of sex-as-a-girl is seriously sickening to him. A girl who was only interested in him for something that he truly views as a curse would be as abhorrent to him, if not more, than Kuno is to Akane. You want to break Ranma and Akane up fast? Have him find out she's really a lesbian and has been not only using him as a cover, but also actively trying to keep him from getting cured.

Many thanks to Vassago-Toxicity for so kindly agreeing to beta this chapter for us.

Chapter 10: A First Meeting

_Sitting there randomly flitting through the threads of time, watching various scenarios play across the mirror (the latest being a tooth-rottingly saccharine moment when Ranma somehow managed to get stuck inside a shoujo manga and having to play out the romantic drama to the end) to his whim, Ranma-Prime noted one thread deviating at an extreme tangent from the moment when Doc Tofu had paralyzed his legs and forced him to get a piggyback ride from Akane back to the Dojo._

_An annoyed 'tch' left his lips at the memory; while it had been a way to see a sometimes-rare moment of niceness from Akane, he had never really forgiven Tofu for doing that to him. Still, this particular thread was at a very extreme angle and after looking through threads for so many hours, Ranma-Prime knew that this meant the scenario had a very low probability of occurring as he focused on the beginning of the thread._

"Fucking tomboy" Ranma snarled as he dragged himself to a sitting position on the barely warm pavement as he glared at the rapidly fading Akane, "Thanks for the help you bitch!"

Ranma had a very good reason to be pissed off enough to hurl abuse; not more than maybe ten, fifteen minutes tops away from Doc Tofu and his legs gave out and became paralyzed, and Ranma had asked Akane for help but the Tomboy simply scoffed and told him that she wasn't going to be fooled by him faking leg paralysis and had dashed off to prove her point.

Ranma had thought that she might work out eventually that he wasn't joking but no, there she was turning the corner without a glance backwards and to top it all off, Ranma had no idea how long this paralysis would likely last.

"Definitely not recommending that guy if he does this to all his patients." As Ranma was ranting to himself about the general unfairness of his life and stupidity of certain tomboys, he didn't notice a woman walking up to him with a predator's gleam in her eyes.

"Well hello there, what are you doing out here all alone?" Ranma blinked as his ranting was interrupted by the honeyed voice next to him and he glanced up to see a girl of about sixteen though her voluptuous figure made it a little hard to tell, regarding him with a soft smile that was completely at odds with the shiver going down Ranma's spine at the feeling that there was something _wrong_ about her as she looked him over intently with oddly cold golden eyes.

"Looks like someone hit a paralysis point on you, and it looks like it won't wear off for several hours. Would you like some help? I can take you somewhere that should be a bit more comfortable to recover in than some cold street." Ranma swallowed as he shoved down the strange lump in his throat and gave a casual smile.

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver. Uh, don't get me wrong, but you don't look like you could carry me." The girl laughed and Ranma shivered even though the tone sounded almost heavenly as she shook her head, red hair shifting with the movement.

"Oh, I have a friend who can do that." A snap of fingers and Ranma goggled at the muscular giant who strode into view before picking him up like he was made of foam and began following the girl as she in turn began walking in a different direction.

Several minutes later found Ranma staring in awe at the huge mansion before him as the gates and then the front doors opened of their own accord. The place was dimly lit but everywhere Ranma could see all manner of artworks, statues and other valuables before his eyes darted to a corner.

'Huh, thought I saw something.' Ranma paid it no more attention as the giant took him to a guest room pointed out by the girl and then deftly placed him on the soft mattress.

As Ranma sank into the bed, the girl smiled again, "I have some knowledge of pressure points and I believe that I have an herbal tea that should get you back on your feet in a few minutes. Ranma nodded his thanks at the unspoken question and the girl turned to leave.

But not before Ranma asked, "What's your name?"

The girl paused at the door for a few seconds, then continued, speaking without even looking back at Ranma. "My name is Nicola."

_"Nicola? Is that Russian?" Ranma-Prime mused to himself._

_"Nicola? Did you say Nicola?" Came a frantic voice from just beside his ear._

_Ranma-Prime yelped in shock, twisting around to see Abe standing at his shoulder and peering intently into the mirror. "You scared me! Yeah, she said her name was Nicola- why, do you know her?"_

_"Know her? That wretched harlot? Oh, I know her alright!" Abe said, snarling as he did so._

_"...I take it you two aren't friends."_

_"That evil bitch murdered my brother-in-law, my sister, and their three children- what do you think?" Abe answered in a dry, sarcastic tone._

_Ranma-Prime stared at him, mouth open in disbelief. "She did... what!?"_

_"Don't be taken in by her looks, that witch is evil to the core!" Abe snapped. "She's an egotistical spoiled brat with the power to back up her petty desires- imagine how dangerous Kuno would be if he had Ryoga's level of skills."_

_Ranma-Prime didn't need to think for even a minute before shuddering at that mental image._

_"But, worst still, she's a domineering sadist- she believes that it is her right to control others, and that those under her control are nothing but toys for her to do with as she pleases. She's a master enchantress, capable of binding men, beasts and monsters to her will with magic, and once she has someone in her grasp, their life is a living hell directed by her bloody whims and sadistic impulses. And she won't let anyone leave her control, oh no, when she's got her hooks into someone, their only release is death- if she doesn't get them killed off, when she grows tired of them, she kills them."_

_If it wasn't for the grim expression on Abe's face, Ranma-Prime wouldn't have been able to believe him, and even still he couldn't truly accept it. "If she's so evil, then answer two questions."_

_"What questions?" Abe snapped._

_"Firstly, why is she still alive? I mean, you're totally justified in seeking revenge here, at least, that's how it looks to me!"_

_"Battle magic is not my forte, I'm afraid. With all of those monsters and yokai and who-knows-what else under her command, I'd be ripped to shreds before I could my hands around her throat." Abe said sadly. "But... who said she was alive, hmm? She died a month or so back- as a matter of fact, it was an acquaintance of yours who did her in."_

_"Who?" Ranma-Prime asked. He was positive that anyone he knew would have come to him to brag about their accomplishment._

_"She went to China, and made the mistake of trying to enslave that bullying, pompous freak with the ridiculous curse and the stupid first name. Because she didn't know he was a shapeshifted human, she used the wrong spell- when he hit her, the backlash temporarily shorted out her control spells. Her former minions wasted no time in ripping her apart and then scattering to the four winds. Good riddance to bad rubbish, that's what I say." Abe declared emphatically._

_"You would." Ranma-Prime murmured to himself, though it was just running his mouth off- he felt Abe was perfectly vindicated. "Alright then, my second question; if she's so evil, why did she rescue my counterpart there?"_

_"For one of her sick little games, no doubt. Breaking wills and souls is as much fun to her as breaking flesh and bones. And you represent a nice chance to do both." Abe answered, shrugging._

_Ranma-Prime swallowed a lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat and, hesitantly, turned his attention back to the Eye._

After several minutes of simply relaxing in the bed, Ranma drifted off into a light nap that was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Cracking open an eye, Ranma saw a athletic, almost sinewy teenage girl enter with a tray that was almost delicately placed onto the bedside table, a cup of steaming tea at the center. Opening his eyes fully, Ranma studied the girl in more detail as he propped himself into a sitting position and took the cup with a short word of thanks.

The girl was sinewy but upon closer inspection Ranma noted the way her copper-red hair was arranged to hide her ears and her facial features seemed more...sharp, as though they tried to meet at a single point while her hands were long-fingered and slim, completely at odds with her physique entirely. All in all, it made her seem...almost like a weasel though Ranma kept that opinion to himself.

As he finished the tea and set down the cup, Ranma leaned back and enjoyed the fact that he was getting feeling back in his legs. In a few moments, he'd be back on his feet. That was when the girl, who had simply been standing there like a statue in silence, asked in a soft whisper, "What is your name?"

Ranma blinked before he shrugged, "Name's Ranma Saotome."

The girl nodded once but her face remained uncomfortably blank. "Are you a martial artist?"

Ranma smiled at the question. "Yep, one of the best around. Haven't been beaten in a fight yet."

The girl's eyes twitched slightly but there was no other reaction. "What school do you practice?" She asked.

Ranma figured the girl was just curious and proudly proclaimed it. "I'm from the Saotome School of Anything Goes!" That got a reaction as the girl's eyes narrowed and Ranma could tell that all of her attention was squarely focused on him as she studied him intensely.

"Anything Goes? Then there is something you should know about Nicola before it is too late."

Ranma blinked and intelligently asked, "Huh?"

The girl locked her fingers together in front of her, "My name is Misao, and I am a kamaitachi. I know of the Anything Goes from stories of how the original founder and grandmaster, Happosai, humiliated and defeated an entire clan of my kind. Please, you must be ready to escape, for Nicola is not what she appears to be." Ranma cocked his head and the girl continued, "She is a sorceress of the darkest nature and most sadistic of intents, the longer you remain here the more danger you will be in." She leaned forward, her voice harsh and hurried, "She intends to use you as a toy, she will torture and rape you for days, maybe weeks or months before she kills you or feeds you to one of the other demons in this place."

Ranma blinked, "Um, I'll admit she seems a little freaky, but an evil sorceress?" The girl sighed despairingly.

"Of course you would want proof." With a further word, Misao turned around and pulled up the back of her shirt before hooking a thumb into her pants and began pulling the back of her pants and underwear down.

"Woah, woah! Hey, what are you...doing...huh?" Ranma's squawk of embarrassment was rapidly silenced as he regarded the weasel tail that uncurled itself and swayed gently from side to side as Misao turned her head to regard Ranma with a level stare.

"As I said, I am a Kamaitachi, a wind demon, and my words are the truth."

As if she believed she needed further proof of what she had been saying, Misao pulled her shirt up further and Ranma recoiled from what the tapestry of scars that were arrayed on her back like some twisted jigsaw puzzle.

Ranma glanced up at Misao's eyes and saw the unspoken plea in them before he firmed his determination and asked, "How do we escape?"

Misao quickly rearranged her clothing and pointed to the door, "In the main trophy room is a display case containing a gauntlet and two large binders containing cards with images of various demons. Please find my card, it is the only kamaitachi card in her collection, and take the gauntlet, which will deny her the ability to bind more demons to her will. Take nothing else but those two items and flee as far as you can from this place."

Misao twitched and jerked her head up to stare at the ceiling before glancing at Ranma with a desperate expression, "Go now, before she finishes her preparations!"

Ranma looked into her eyes for a few moments, then nodded slowly. "Alright, I'll help you- but first, two questions."

"There isn't time! You have to go now!" Misao pleaded.

"I can't until you answer them. Firstly, why should I only take your card? Shouldn't I also try to free the others too?"

"Normally, I would be pleased that you'd suggest to do the noble thing, but that's not possible now. While most of the demons would truly want to be freed, they are compelled to alert Nicola to your theft by her spells. The few who aren't under such intense thrall have psychic power of their own that they could enslave you themselves. I'm the only one you can free now- please! I helped you, won't you help me?"

"I do want to help you, but I need you to tell me something." Ranma insisted.

"What?" Misao asked, her voice practically a sob.

"Where's the trophy room?" Ranma stated deadpan. There was an awkward, disbelieving silence before Misao, dumbstruck, pointed at the door. "Take a left when you leave, then two rights, it's at the end of the hallway with the tapestries and statues depicting various yokai."

Ranma nodded and, after a few movements to check that his legs were back to normal, darted for the door, slipping out as quickly and as quietly as he could. He raced through the halls, employing all of the skills at stealth that his father had so painstakingly indoctrinated him into over the course of many years. He encountered nothing on his way there, but that didn't cause him to relax his guard- if anything, it made him more nervous. Paranoia is the boon of the thief; that was what his father had said. Spotting the hallway, Ranma cautiously approached the ornate door at its end, turning his head constantly for the slightest sight or sound of danger.

As he did so Ranma, couldn't help but shiver at the thought that some of these statues may not have previously been statues before as he walked to the doors, gently opened them and thankful for the lack of creaking, slipped inside and closed the door before noticing the bars that were designed to be lowered down to lock the door and gently lowered them as well, ensuring the door was secure before turning to face the room proper.

It was huge, and Ranma could easily tell that the space inside had been magically manipulated to store all of various trophies before his eyes landed on the two heavy binder books and a glass display case with a metal gauntlet standing at the very center. Carefully flitting across the room to the case and book, Ranma took a breath and opened the books.

Immediately, screams, wails and pleas filled his mind as the various demons powerful enough to force past their bindings began attempting to convince him to release them. Gritting his teeth, Ranma began flipping through pages, eyes searching card after card in a blur of motion before he stopped and gingerly opened the flap of one pocket and slowly, carefully extracted a battered card with a portrait of Misao in her human and what was obviously her true form as a kamaitachi. The card looked like it had gone through hell and back, it was frayed and creased and some sort of chemical had obviously burned one place. Ranma ignored the fact that on the blank back of the card, the creases formed the exact same arrangement of scars on Misao's back as he closed the books to the despairing cries of the demons inside.

Studying the display case, Ranma sighed in relief at finding no signs of pressure alarms or laser traps. That likely meant either magical alarms, which he would set off no matter what he did, or that Nicola was likely arrogant enough not to have any alarms, but; either way, it was a load off his shoulders. Wiping his hands on his pants, Ranma gripped the glass and gently lifted it up and over the gauntlet and moved to set it down on the floor.

That was when the sweat on his hands conspired against him and the glass slipped free to shatter with a sound louder than church bells. For the briefest of seconds, Ranma froze as he felt something like an ice-cold glacier slide over him before he felt rather than heard an explosion of rage. That was enough to prompt him into grabbing the gauntlet and dashing for a nearby window.

Ranma had only barely jumped when the doors literally shattered into dust and he turned back to see Nicola stride through the cloud with an expression of utter hatred and fury in her eyes. Gold met steel-blue, and Ranma couldn't help but smirk and salute jauntily as he went backwards through the window as Nicola screamed something in a language so vile that it would haunt his sleep for weeks afterwards as he landed and dashed away into the night, not daring to stop for anything.

Finally, Ranma's flight came to an end underneath a bridge, where he paused to catch his breath and still his racing heart. "Of all the rotten luck..." He finally gasped out as his heaving lungs manage to get back into a normal rhythm. "...But at least I got away. Damn, but how is Misao going to get away? ...Should I go back for her?" He asked himself.

"I'd worry less about that traitor, and more about your own hide!" Bellowed a guttural voice. Before Ranma could react, a fist half-again bigger than his head came rocketing out of the dark and slammed into his face, propelling him backwards into and straight through a wall. He rolled instinctively as he hit the ground, shaking the stars from his vision- damn, but he hadn't been hit that hard for a while now! Forcing himself to ignore the pain, with the aid of great familiarity, he forced himself to his feet and into a combat stance as his assailant smashed through the remaining wall, all three meters of leathery, horned, oni. The creature snarled (though that might have been due to the facial disfigurement revealed as it stepped into the light- even after it had punched him in the face, Ranma still couldn't help but wince at the tangle of burns and cuts, some still seeping with blood and with pus, that twisted across its face) and wasted no further time on conversation, charging at Ranma and hurling another straight-armed blow that Ranma dodged aside from and rewarded with his own punch clear into his opponent's gut, elicting a grunt of pain but not much else in the way of reaction. It kicked out in an attempt to catch Ranma with its knee, forcing him to back off and evaluate his opponent.

Clearly, the oni had the advantage in strength, reach and toughness, but Ranma was faster and more agile. Also, despite his opponent's opening words, he clearly didn't want to fight- in fact, if he hadn't blown his cover, he probably could have grabbed Ranma's head in one hand and crushed his skull like a grape. Could it be that the oni was being forced into combat by whatever spells it was that let Nicola control her slaves? Ranma yelped as a flat-handed sideswipe of a blow nearly carved off the top of his head like a boiled egg- no time to think about things, just fight or die.

Throwing himself forward, he rolled on the ground in a borrowed fragment of Monkey style, using his momentum to launch both feet squarely into his opponent's crotch. Kind of dirty fighting, yes, but this was life or death! Rolling back again, he then launched upwards in a fierce kick to his doubled-up opponent's chin, resulting in an audible crack of bone as his blow fractured the oni's lower jaw. Howling in pain, the yokai promptly tried to stamp Ranma to death, only for Ranma to roll backwards and spring to his feet. More clumsy strikes came, and Ranma dodged and ducked beneath them to pound with all his strength on his opponent's gut, finishing with a leaping uppercut to the fractured jaw (a scream of pain at that manuever) and springing away. His opponent was visibly in pain now, filling Ranma with both sympathy at having to resort to such dirty tactics to win and confidence that he could indeed win.

The question became moot when a sudden wave of air pressure washed over them both, a cannonball of compressed wind that slammed into the oni's head and catapulted it both onto its face and into unconsciousness. Ranma looked up from the downed brute to the rooftop, where Misao was currently standing. She casually threw herself off, only to float to the ground, where she brushed absently at her somewhat torn and ripped clothes.

"Sorry I took so long. Do you have them?" She asked.

"Yeah, I got your card, and her gizmo. I just need to give these things to you, right? Then this'll all be over?"

"...Yeah, that's right, it'll all be over." Misao said.

Now, while Ranma can be a little dim when it comes to social interaction, he is not stupid by any means, and picked up the hesitation in Misao's voice easily. "What is it you're hiding from me?" He demanded.

Misao looked down at the ground, apparently exhausted. "Nicola is vengeful and petty. She'll go to any lengths to retrieve that gauntlet."

There was silence for a few moments, and then Ranma began to swear. Now this was all he needed; he didn't think too much of his old man, or the Tendos, but the last thing he wanted (or needed) was for armies of demons to come after them intent on killing them to get to him. Finally tapering off, he looked at the kamaitachi girl, who cringed as though expecting a blow. "How important are you to her?"

Misao looked at him in confusion, prompting him to repeat the question, whereupon she finally answered. "Not important at all, to tell the truth. It's the gauntlet she cares about." She squeaked as Ranma suddenly flicked her card at her like a shuriken, managing (barely) to snatch it from the air. She looked at it, then turned a disbelieving expression to the human, who was... walking away from her? She chased after him. "What's this for?" She asked, resulting in a confused expression from Ranma.

"That's your card- don't you need it to be free?"

"Yeah, of course, but why are you giving it back to me?"

"Why would I keep it? You did nothing I wouldn't have done, and I certainly don't want you as a slave. I'll keep the gauntlet, so you can go back to living whatever sort of life it is that you sickle-weasels live."

Misao halted, Ranma didn't, and she watched him continue walking. "You know, it's really vulgar to call us sickle-weasels. It's demeaning." Ranma paid her no attention. "Hey, where are you gonna go anyway?" She called after him.

"I need to go to China anyway, so I may as well take advantage of this." Ranma replied.

Misao watched him, thinking to herself for a few minutes, then nodded decisively. When Ranma looked up, he found the yokai strolling along beside him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Coming with you, of course. I couldn't leave you to face off against Nicola's goons all alone. She'd have that gauntlet back within the week." Misao chirped back.

Back in the real world, Ranma-Prime chose that moment to withdraw. Abe cocked his head to the side like a blond-haired robin and directed a quizzical stare his way.

"Aren't you going to follow them some more?"

"Not today. This mirror is mine, isn't it?"

"Of course. You bought it, er, won it, fair and square. It's yours."

"Well, I've seen enough to know that I can come back and follow them later. Definitely one of the more unusual first meetings I've seen... but, it doesn't really help me with my problems, does it? She's not part of the fiancée mess, so she's someone to look in on for sheer curiosity's sake."

That said, Ranma-Prime resumed peering through the mists in a more conventional manner, content now to return to his former pastime.

_And that's the end of this chapter. I hope it wasn't too painful to read. As the ending implies, from now on the story will resume its original format of reviewers voting for which chapter is written up next. Chapter 10 (by the drop-down box) lists all of the chapters yet to be written, and currently the top three are, in descending order, Ranma lost the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics tournament, Ranma kissed Shampoo back in response to the Kiss of Marriage, and Kaori Daikoku won the Martial Arts Takeout Race. Please vote so we can continue this story._


	13. Road Trip

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** technically, the "Ranma returned the Kiss of Marriage" oneshot got enough reviews to come before this… but we'd already started on this oneshot so it was nearly done by the time that choice climbed to its current level. I'm pleased that everyone who reviewed the last chapter, with the exception of Ozzallos, enjoyed it though. And his reaction doesn't trouble me, because I was worried about that chapter myself.

Dumbledork: out of curiosity, how were you able to submit two reviews to the same chapter? I'm glad I didn't offend you with my refusal- I'm sorry I had to do so, but such stories just don't work, in my opinion.

An evil fox: Natsume isn't valid for a 'default' choice, as the time this story is set in is before she shows up. Nevertheless, she just might show up in one of the choices, so keep an eye out.

Teturo: the previous chapter was all original design.

Scott Pike: this story focuses on Ranma having the lesson rammed into his head. The sequel will be about Ranma putting what he's learned into practice and trying to change his life.

Ozzallos: I'm sorry you feel that way about it being closed off, but, really, such ideas just don't work. Especially seeing as how it's canon that Ranma finds the idea of being in a girl/girl couple quite repulsive- see the Tsubasa storyline, where Ranma is grossed out by Tsubasa (remember, that he's really a transvestite doesn't come out until the end of that story) and is even willing to try and seduce "her" in his male form simply so he doesn't have to put up with "her" trying to get into his female-side's pants.

Materia-Blade: I'm pretty sure that I actually said back in the first chapter that this story was for Ranma/Non-Akane ideas, but, nevertheless, you have a point. However, I feel I should warn you that, while I will depict a chapter focusing on Ranma and Akane, I will also still maintain the flow of this story thus far.

Chapter 11: Road Trip

Ranma-Prime idly flipped the mirror in his hands as he considered where to look now in the threads of time and the tapestry they formed before a thought came to him. What would happen if he lost key fights ever since he came to Nerima? Curious, he started looking.

The results of his searching served to give Ranma a reason never to lose any fights in the future; from getting killed straight off the bat where he fought Shampoo immediately after getting the Kiss of Death and holding back, the consequences only got worse and worse as Ranma saw himself ending up maimed, crippled and unable to perform the Art, married off to various fiancées that Genma had cheated payment out of, and even several situations where Ranma had been locked in his girl-form, nearly all of those situations ending in Ranma going insane or suicidal.

But what caught his attention was a lone situation where he simply left Nerima, after he had lost to Kodachi in the Rhythmic Gymnastics battle.

The change here was actually quite small, as changes went, but still dramatic all the same. Rather than complain about Akane's salvation of Ranma (and, unbeknownst to either girl, Ryoga), Kodachi had simply cut off the water immediately, giving Ranma-chan no opportunity to 'swim' back into place and thus causing 'her' to fall to the outside of the arena.

Ranma-Prime, naturally, was expecting this to be another timeline pairing himself with Kodachi, but this wasn't the case, much to his surprise. With no 'softening' in his counterpart's eyes, Kodachi remained as unappealing as ever- even worse, due to his anger at both losing and overreacting to Akane's slightly clumsy attempts to comfort him. Ranma didn't react well to being pushed at the best of times- in his present mood, the end result of Kodachi's attempts to push herself on him was for him to push back. In the form of sneaking out of the Kuno estate and heading for China at the first presented opportunity. Curious, Ranma-Prime decided to continue following this timeline; he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he'd left by stealth at such an early point. Surely that meant he'd avoid all of the trouble that had come looking for him, right?

Ranma-chan sneezed, then groaned and wiped her nose with a damp handkerchief. "Ugh, why is it always raining?" She groused to herself. Surprisingly, it wasn't the rain that had induced the transformation this time- it was a deliberate choice on her part. As Kodachi and Tatewaki both were ignorant of his male and female forms being the same person (in Kodachi's case because he'd never tried to spell it out for her), since his flight from the Kuno Estate, he had been frequently shifting back and forth between forms in order to throw off any possible pursuit by either them, or their flunkies. She hadn't actually seen any trackers yet, to be honest, but that was the whole point.

A growling from her stomach cut off any further musings, and the embarrassed aquatransexual put a hand to her belly and a sheepish expression on her face. She'd been so busy trying to stay hidden today that she hadn't had a chance to eat yet. Looking around revealed a traveling okonomiyaki cart, and she made a beeline for it, hoping that the owner was still doing business for the evening. Fortunately for her, the owner, a rather bishonen guy with long brown hair, was still open. "Hey there, what'll ya have?"

"One family-sized calamari, thanks." Ranma replied. Before leaving, she'd taken the liberty of "borrowing" some cash from the Kuno vaults- any guilt was dealt with by pointing out to him/herself that s/he'd only taken enough to get by, not much more than a couple of thousand yen. True, that would run out eventually, but Ranma was used to making a relatively little cash go a long way. By the time she was out of money, she anticipated being in China where her Japanese currency would be worthless anyway. The owner didn't say anything, though he did quirk an eye at the obviously unusual event of a petite girl on her own asking for a family-sized meal, instead turning to the grill and whipping together the requested purchase. Ranma grinned widely, eagerly savoring the impending meal, and dug in hungrily- only to slow down as the taste registered memories.

"Somethin' wrong?" The vendor asked. His voice was rather weird for a guy, but Ranma was in no place to notice.

"No, it's just... I swear that I recognize this recipe." She said, chewing slowly and thoughtfully as she tried to place the taste in her recollections.

"Well, the Kuonji family is famous for its okonomiyaki recipes; maybe you've had some before?" He suggested.

Ranma's eyes opened wide. "Kuonji? Ukyo Kuonji?" She asked.

"Yeah, that's me." The vendor replied.

Ranma's eyes promptly lit up. "Oh man, I can't believe I didn't recognize you sooner! It's been a long time, Ucchan!"

"Excuse me, but I don't believe I know you that well." Ukyo Kuonji replied in an icy tone of voice. What was some random stranger doing addressing her in such a familiar fashion? And using the very name that _he_ had used for her? The redhead looked confused for a second, then grinned happily.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot how much I'd changed since we were kids together. It's me, Ucchan; Ranma Saotome!"

"R-Ranma!?!" Ukyo spluttered, eyes open wide and jaw dropping in disbelief. This girl, this petite redhead with the way-too-generous bust, was claiming to be Ranma Saotome? Her fiancé- well, ex-fiancé? Then reality sank in. "Hold on, wait a second, you can't be Ranma! Ranma's hair was black... not to mention that Ranma was a boy!"

Ranma blanched visibly; his curse was a real sore spot, and explaining it to one of his old (and very few) friends... Weakly, he tried to pass it off as being a matter too complicated to explain, at which Ukyo openly scoffed in mockery.

"Yeah, sure. Alright, I'll play your little game; if you're really Ranma Saotome, then tell me something only he would know!"

"...Remember before me and the old man had to leave? You 'n' I swiped your dad's special, secret, okonomiyaki sauce recipe that had been passed down through your family, because he said you weren't ready to make it yet, so you were determined to prove him wrong. You remember that?" Ranma finally supplied after momentarily wracking his (currently her) brains.

Ukyo was speechless; only someone who was there could have known that. But, that meant that this girl really was Ranma Saotome... her fists clenched tight enough that her nails began to cut into the flesh of her palms. "Genma Saotome, you son of a bitch..." She hissed to herself. He knew! That fat bastard had known all along that his 'son' was really a tomboy like her and simply played up her Ranchan's masculine acts to fool the both of them that Genma had a son, just so he could swindle Ukyo and her father out of a Okonomiyaki cart! If Ukyo had felt pissed off before, then she was experiencing a new height to it as her mind screamed at her to demand where Genma Saotome was so she could murder him, unknowing that she was starting to quiver visibly.

Ranma promptly looked at her in concern. "What? Did the old man do something to you, Ucchan? I swear, if he hurt you, I'll help you kick his ass from one side of the country to the other." She vowed.

Ukyo blinked as her thoughts turned from the scum known as Genma to his son, or rather daughter it seemed. 'And she has no idea that her father took advantage of mine by pretending to engage us as children! Or… does she…? No, she can't; she wouldn't be so candid with me if she knew what her father her done.' The realization that the girl in front of her likely only remembered her as her childhood friend was shocking, but Ukyo hid it well before smiling pleasantly.

"Oh, don't worry about it Ranchan, but thanks for the offer." Ukyo glanced at her watch, "Looks like its closing time for me. Tell you what, why don't come back with me to my apartment and you can tell me about how your life's been going on since we last saw each other?" She noticed Ranma's happy smile as she nodded and decided that she made a right decision in not telling the girl.

The apartment was modest, but well within Ukyo's budget and from the way Ranma acted, it was clear she was used to worse. The girl had been talking non-stop about how her training trip with Genma had progressed after they left Ukyo and the disguised girl shook her head at the harshness of it all. It was when the story got to China that Ukyo suddenly blinked and asked, "Could you repeat that?"

Ranma shrugged and repeated with a perfectly straight face, "I said I got cursed at some freaky springs in China called Jusenkyo and whenever I get hit with cold water I turn into a girl and hot water I turn back into a guy."

Ukyo blinked. "That's what I thought you said." She then playfully cupped one of Ranma's breasts, enjoying the squeak and embarrassed blush that appeared, "But, somehow, I don't think any guy would have these, would they?" She laughed as Ranma pouted as they entered the bathroom.

Ranma shrugged, "I guess I'll have to show you won't I?" Ukyo was about to make another playful comment when Ranma filled up the nearby bucket with hot water and, without any preamble, doused himself in steaming water. Ukyo's voice died in her throat as, with almost a slight shimmer, gone was a petite red-head and there was a taller –and, from what Ukyo could see with a visible blush, very well built- teenage boy with familiar black hair.

Ranma turned casually, ignoring the fact Ukyo was gaping like a brain-damaged goldfish to make his point, "See? It's all part of that stupid curse. Cold water turns me into a girl and hot water turns me back into a guy like you."

Registering that fact caused Ukyo to snap back to reality, another piece of the puzzle falling into place as she did so. Ranma thought she was a boy, and probably only remembered her as a boy for the last fifteen or so years. Ukyo sighed as she averted her eyes, "Only one problem with that Ranchan; I ain't a guy."

Ranma blinked, "Huh?"

Ukyo felt kind of bad for doing this, but since Ranma obviously never knew from the start, this had to be done to avoid anything more embarrassing in the future. Even with this in mind, she still couldn't repress a blush as she undid her shirt and slipped it off to reveal her bound chest, restoring her outer layer of clothing only after she was sure Ranma had gotten a good look at it.

'If it wasn't so serious, the look on his face right now would be hilarious.' Ukyo couldn't help but think to herself. Blushing as brightly as Ranma was, she finally broke the awkward silence that had swallowed the bathroom.

"Guess we got a lot to talk about… huh, Ranchan?"

"_They certainly do." Ranma-Prime mused to himself. He was quite intrigued by this scenario; he'd always wondered why it had taken Ukyo so long to find him in Nerima in his timeline, given that even Shampoo had gone back to China, gotten cursed, and come back and reestablished herself in Nerima before Ukyo had arrived. So his counterpart running into Ukyo like this was weirdly coincidental… but then again, bigger coincidences had happened in Nerima before._

_He watched as the two talked, Ranma revealing to Ukyo that he had 'parted ways' with his father over a week ago and that his engagement had been called off, and why was she asking anyway? Ukyo, for her part, hid her questioning behind a veneer of having heard rumors about Ranma, and explained her own state as being on a personal training journey as a family tradition, and the clothing as being a habit she'd gotten into as a kid. When Ranma had told her about his intention to go back to China for a cure, she had insisted on coming along, refusing to be deterred._

_Deciding he didn't want to waste his time with them arguing, he instead skipped ahead to when they were finally at the coast and ready to leave…_

"Now you've really done it." Ranma groused.

"She was trying to kill us- what was I supposed to do, just let her go right ahead?" Ukyo snapped. "And just how do you know her anyway?" She asked suddenly, eyes narrowing in a glare directed firstly at Ranma, secondly at the object of their 'discussion'; an unconscious, blue-haired Chinese girl, currently sprawled on the dock with two chúi lying nearby, knocked out courtesy of a blow from Ukyo's trusty combat spatula. Said girl had approached them asking them something about "girl name Ranma", only to attack when Ranma had reacted to her presence with sudden nervousness.

"She belongs to this crazy village of martial artists pop 'n' me rolled into shortly after we got our curses. Long story, we ticked her off, she challenged me to a match, and I beat. Course, the stupid guide never warned us about the 'Kiss of Death', oh no, that would have made our lives much easier. And now she's gonna want to give you one." Ranma said.

"Kiss of Death?"

"Basically, a vow to get revenge, even if she has to chase you to the end of the earth to get it. Of course, by 'revenge' I mean 'your head on the end of a pointy stick', so you can see why I tried to pretend I didn't know her- she's never seen me as a guy, not 'til today."

Ukyo groaned as the realization sank in. "Oh, great, that's all we need; some crazy chick chasing after the both of us."

Shampoo chose that moment to groan and stir, pushing herself to her feet as Ranma and Ukyo both got into battle-ready stances. She looked directly at Ukyo, then smiled and suddenly lunged- Ukyo screamed in instinctive anticipation of pain, only for it to die instantly when she realized that Shampoo had merely latched onto her in an affectionate hug. The urge to scream returned in force when, after a brief bit of Chinese, she promptly latched onto Ukyo's mouth in a passionate kiss.

(In both timelines, Ranma found their hands instinctively clasping their noses, and wondered why.)

"You never said anything about the Kiss of Death working like this!" Ukyo shouted at Ranma, currently trying to pry herself free of Shampoo's amorously tenacious grip.

"I didn't know! All I got was a kiss on the cheek." Ranma protested. The faint hint of envy in his voice (alright, she might have been imagining it, but…) gave Ukyo the strength to shove Shampoo off at last so that she could get into a combat ready stance.

"Alright, sugar, bring it!" She snapped, a wonderfully cheesy, if not original, battlecry. Shampoo merely looked at her in a vaguely puzzled way, then glomped back onto her again.

"Gah! What are you trying to do, hug me to death? Get off, ya damn bimbo!" Ukyo complained. "Don't you speak Chinese, Ranchan? Can't you make her let go?"

"Not a word, I'm afraid- it's one of the reasons why we had such problems in China." Ranma admitted. Seeing the look on Ukyo's face, he quickly added, "But I'm sure there's someone around here who does! Maybe they can help us sort this out."

True to Ranma's words, they did find a dockworker who spoke Chinese. Neither was very happy when he revealed what the deal was.

"Married!?! Uh ah, no way! I don't swing that way!"

Finally, they managed to persuade Shampoo that Ukyo was really a girl (the Chinese Amazon was just as squicked to discover she had done her best to French Kiss another girl), then to call off giving a Kiss of Death to Ukyo by offering up the location of "girl-type Ranma". Neither felt even the slightest guilt in misdirecting her; they figured that by the time she finally figured she had been tricked, they would have cured Ranma. Ranma had wondered why they hadn't simply told Shampoo the truth about his gender, but raising the possibility that this could have gotten **him** a Kiss of Marriage in its place had made him clam up. That problem sorted, the two had finally managed to book passage on a cheap cargo ship that was heading for China; they had to agree to work for their passage, but it wasn't anything either of them was unequipped to handle.

The two watched from the back railing as the ship slowly pulled out of the harbor, watching the port recede into the distance. Ukyo stretched her arms and cracked her neck. "Well, we're on our way at last. I trust there won't be any more nasty surprises waiting for us in China?"

"Of course there aren't." Ranma replied, sounding rather offended. "Do you think I try to tick people off wherever I go?"

_As Ukyo apologized, Ranma-Prime shook his head. "They're walking right into trouble, aren't they?" He asked the Eye. In answer, the Eye began to show him brief scenes that proved that, yes, they were indeed heading right for chaos._

Ukyo ducked and swore vehemently as a 9mm round bounced off the hull near her head, pulling behind the makeshift barricade she and Ranma had hastily erected. The reason why they were hiding instead of fighting was simple; martial arts were all well and good, and at their level they would easily mop the floor with the almost stereotypical crooks currently shooting at them… if they could get into hand-to-hand. While a martial artist would eventually become bullet-resistant, that was quite a bit out of their league just yet. Ranma looked steadily from the barricade to the railing, and Ukyo felt a mingling of admiration and envy that the boy-turned-girl could look so calm about all of this.

"No choice; we'll have to jump and swim for it."

"Are you nuts? It's twenty miles to China!"

"You want to stay here with them?"

As the barrage of bullets trickled off, their enemies frantically reloading, Ukyo groaned aloud but joined Ranma in racing for the railing and leaping over it, plunging into the cold water below. Gasping for breath upon reaching the surface, she joined the redhead in swimming away from the ship, the gunmen firing a few parting shots that missed them easily. Ukyo watched the ship mechanically draw away, and internally swore that if she ever met any of those goons in a dark alley, she was going to be the one **they** ran from! She almost shrieked when something bumped into her, turning around to find the apologetic face of her (unbeknownst to him/her) fiancé looking back at her.

"Come on, we better get swimming." She said, and Ukyo groaned as she started to do so.

"Twenty miles…"

"Count your blessings that it's only twenty miles; me and the old man swam the whole way there and back." Ranma replied in a conversational, if absent, tone of voice.

"You mean this isn't the first time you ran into goons who wanted you as a prostitute?" Ukyo asked in disbelief.

"What? No, he was just too cheap to buy tickets."

_Later, in China…_

"Beat 'im to a pulp, Ranma-honey! I don't wanna be stuck here slopping pigs!" Ukyo called.

Ranma didn't answer, his attention currently fixated on the muscle-bound brute currently locked into a fighting stance. Not for the first time, certainly not for the last, he cursed Genma for his greed and thievery. He had to get a cure, dammit! He didn't have time to be stuck in some farming village working off some debt his old man had wracked up!

_After that…_

"I'm only going to ask you this once. Where is the scroll?" Snapped the old man, currently backed by a half-dozen or so snarling, vicious-looking dogs.

"What scroll?" Ranma asked.

"The one you and your no-good father stole from my temple! That scroll!" The old man screeched.

"…Oh, you mean that scroll about that weird mushroom?" Ranma finally suggested.

"Yes, that's it! Give it to me!"

"No can do; pops hocked it at a pawnshop."

The old man froze, then started to tremble in fury as, behind Ranma, Ukyo slapped her forehead and groaned aloud. Finally, the old man exploded.

"Boys! Sic **balls!**"

One scene of horrible carnage later… Ukyo dumped the last unconscious and heavily beaten dog onto the pile, coincidentally burying the old man, then took several practice swings of her spatula before bringing it around golfer-style to send the whole pile flying into LEO.

"Thanks for the help… but… why did you seem to take it so personally?" Ranma asked.

Ukyo stiffened, a blush affixing her cheeks and forcing her to keep her head turned away from Ranma. "B-because… because it's not right that he try and hurt you so bad for something your old fool did." She stuttered.

It was only there for a moment before he masked it, but there was an expression of deepest suspicion on Ranma's face. He wasn't quite sure what Ukyo's motivation was, but he knew that it wasn't anything so innocent. Could she…? No, she couldn't, they were just old friends… weren't they?

_Even later in China…_

Ukyo crept stealthily through the dark tunnels, in search of Ranma and the creature that had kidnapped him. Hearing the sound of voices, she followed them to an opening, halting just at its lip- which meant she was in perfect position to hear Ranma's voice when he spoke up.

"Let me get this straight; you're gonna boil me up into a potion… to solve your bedroom problems!? There's a thing called Valium that they sell for that, ya know!!"

Ukyo promptly facefaulted. An understandable reaction, but not the brightest one, as it drew the monster's attention and caused it to come roaring out of its lair to defend its "prize".

_After that…_

"Let me get this straight… your dojo lost to my old man? And now you want revenge by defeating me in battle?" Ranma asked in disbelief.

"That's right! Now, will you shut up and fight!?" Snapped the female martial artist.

"…Are you sure we're talking about the same Genma Saotome?" Ukyo finally asked.

"Die!" She shouted, hurling herself at both of the traveling Japanese.

_Later yet…_

"Foolish boy! The woman is my bride! You cannot defeat me! Say your last words!"

Ranma stared defiantly at his opponent, the moth demon that had abducted Ukyo with the intent of marrying her, then looked past him to the girl in question, currently bound in place by streamers of silk and wearing a wedding dress. Not wasting any time on fancy words or gestures, he instead shifted into a combat stance. His aura literally blazed into life, pulsing and crackling with an appearance like ghostly flames. He smirked at Ukyo's kidnapper.

"You want a last word? Alright, try this: Hadoken!"

As he said this, Ranma's arms rose up and then twisted back down so that his hands were pressed wrist to wrist, a globe of flaming ki forming in the cupped space and then erupting forth, exactly like that 'move' that Happosai had used when he had first declared his intent to unseal his Happo Fire Burst. Unlike with Happosai, however, what came forth was not a harmless wisp, but a roaring bolt of flame that struck the demon square in the chest and proved that, regardless of origin, a moth burns easily. It shrieked and howled, plunging erratically to and fro as it tried to put out the flames or, failing that, to take Ranma with it as it finally crashed to the earth, a blazing corpse.

Ranma paid it no attention, instead leaping to Ukyo's side and helping her to free herself.

"Thanks for that, sugar. I tell you, that guy was such a jackass- no wonder he couldn't get a she-demon to marry him. I got just one question."

"What's that?"

"Couldn't you think of a better name for that move than 'Hadoken'?"

"Well, I was originally going to go with Fire Burst, but that just felt wrong for some reason."

Ukyo shrugged as she finally got both arms free, allowing Ranma to take charge of freeing her legs. "Well, it's kind of a dumb name anyway. And don't go looking up my dress."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Besides, it does nothing for you."

He flashed her a brief smile and a blush, with Ukyo answering in kind.

_Back in the real world, Ranma-Prime addressed the mirror again. "This is all well and good, but do they actually make it to Jusenkyo?" He wouldn't have been surprised if they didn't- had he and his old man really left that much trouble in China? Or was part of it the whole 'knack' he seemed to have in every life for drawing problems? The Eye obliged his curiosity, wiping its previous scene and preparing a new one for him to view._

"Greetings, sir and woman. Welcome to famous training ground of cursed springs, Jusenkyo. How may this humble guide help you?"

Ranma and Ukyo, both tired and dirty looking, gave the guide a polite bow. "Honorable guide; Ranma seek Nanniichuan water to cure Nyanniichuan curse." Ranma replied in crude and heavily accented, but understandable, Chinese- he and Ukyo had both been learning the written and spoken variants on their travels, as it made things easier if they could actually understand what was going on around them.

The guide looked puzzled and blinked. "Nyanniichuan? Honorable sir has been to Jusenkyo before?"

Seeing Ranma twitch in a way that heavily implied he was ready to start shaking the bumbling Chinaman like a dog with a rag doll, Ukyo hastened to interject. "He has. Please, bring water for cure?"

"It guide job to help poor customers get cured when they ask, and you smart girl to ask guide to go get Nanniichuan- nice girl please go far away from young sir now? Guides can manage Jusenkyo magic somewhat, but it still mischievous; make matching set give it much fun."

Ukyo and Ranma both blanched and Ukyo promptly retreated back the way she had come, to the extent that she was barely a spot on the horizon. Ranma didn't think that much distance was necessary, but decided not to bother speaking about it. Instead, he waited for the guide to go and fetch the requisite cask of water. By the time he got back, Ranma was practically dancing with impatience, straining against the urge to race over and grab the cask from the guide's hands to pour it over himself and end this long humiliation. But restrain himself he did, and when the guide gave him the cask, he took it with all the care and gentleness of a father with his first newborn. For all of his apparent dignity, Ranma was truthfully suppressing the urge to cackle like a madman. He wasted no time on fanfare or celebration, or even a short speech; he just dumped it over himself until the casket was completely drained. Then he started laughing and celebrating.

Ukyo shook her head as the Guide looked askance at her, prompting a rather short explanation of, "After everything we've gone through to get here... frankly, this is a little anti-climatic."

_From his position looking through the mirror, Ranma-prime quietly agreed with Ukyo's opinion; after going through all of that trouble, you'd think that some sort of 'ultimate bad guy' would appear at that point before he shrugged, he'd take an antic-climatic ending if it meant getting cured. But now, he couldn't help but start wondering; what would happen if he left now to China to get cured? He shuddered; better not think about what sort of madness that would bring, at least until he was certain he could escape without notice. He figured that the mirror was done showing him things from this timeline, and was about to resume delving into the mists of time, but, to his surprise, the Eye apparently wasn't done yet, instead depicting that evening after his counterpart had gotten his cure…_

Ranma sighed and stretched in contentment as he stared at his surroundings. While not precisely what anyone would deem a sensitive person, he did have an appreciation for beauty, and his and Ukyo's camping site for that night was that. He could understand why Ukyo had asked them to set up here… true, it was unusual for her to think about that at such an early point in the evening, but Ranma was in no great hurry. With his curse cured, he really had no goal to reach for. True, there was "become the world's greatest martial artist", but that was a life-goal, something that would take him all of his life to pursue, if not accomplish. Now, he had no immediate goals, nothing to chase after.

"Ranma honey?"

Ranma looked in Ukyo's direction, and was mildly surprised to say the least. She had traded her usual worn and frankly rather masculine clothing for something that looked brand new, and was emphatically feminine to say the least. She had a look on her face, at once embarrassed, nervous, and determined.

"What's with the getup, Ucchan?" Ranma finally asked. He hastily amended himself at the hurt look on her face. "Not that it's not nice or nothing, it's really pretty actually, but why are ya wearing it here?"

Ukyo took a deep breath. For her, this was the now or never moment, that one moment where she could have the ultimate expression of happiness and love if she took the chance.

"Ranchan, there's something I need to tell you." Ukyo approached Ranma and deciding that it was time to bear her soul.

"I've had a lot of fun traveling with you, and sometimes I've been pretty annoyed by some of the things you and your old man left behind. But I've always enjoyed being with you through it all… and… well..."

Ukyo paused, trying to get the right words together as Ranma sat there, waiting patiently and somehow knowing that this was really important to his best friend when Ukyo dropped to her knees and simply said out loud, "Ranma Saotome, I love you. I've loved you every step of this journey and I want us to be more than friends…"

Ranma fought to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. "Ucchan... I... I don't know what to say." He finally managed to say.

Ukyo shook her head, "All you need to say is an answer to my question..."She pulled from a pocket a small box and gently opened it to reveal a ring, "Ranma Saotome, will you have me, Ukyo Kuonji, as your wife?"

Ranma was silent and as several minutes passed and Ukyo's resolve began to crumble, he gently took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto Ukyo's ring finger with a whisper of "Sure Ucchan."

_Okay, hands up; who thought we were going to go for another Ranma/Kodachi with this story? Didn't want to get into a predictable little rut, so we thought we'd mess things up a little. Now, originally, we were planning to keep Ranma-Prime's Akane-related divings for off-screen, but Materia-Blade's review made me curious, and so we finally decided that we might as well try a once-off for the next chapter. Don't worry; voting will resume as normal after that, and your votes from this chapter will be counted. Below is the list of oneshots yet to be; remember, the more votes that a oneshot has, the higher the priority is placed on it. Akane fans be warned; my stance, and that of Gideon020, on Akane and the Ranma/Akane matchup has been made quite clear before now. Do not complain about what is made._

_Now, here are the remaining oneshots. On a semi-related topic, would calling the sequel to this story, where Ranma decides to start shaping his life in reaction to what he's seen, something along the lines of "After the Storm" be too cheesy?_

_What If…_

_Ranma kissed Shampoo back when she gave him the "Kiss of Marriage"?_

_Votes: 21_

_Kaori won the Takeout Race?_

_Votes: 14_

_Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode?_

_Votes: 10_

_Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel?_

_Votes: 10_

_  
Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki?_

_Votes: 8_

_Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time?_

_Votes: 8_

_Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo?_

_Votes: 7_

_  
Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?_

_Votes: 7_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"?_

_Votes: 6_

_  
Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second?_

_Votes: 6_

_Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima?_

_Votes: 5_

_Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China?_

_Votes: 5_

_  
When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, they replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride?_

_Votes: 4_

_During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do?_

_Votes: 4_

_  
Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer?_

_Votes: 4_

When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face?

_Votes: 3_

_Akane hadn't gone to Yumogi Valley?_

_Votes: 2_

_Shampoo snapped her fingers before the cat sneezed when using the Kirahashi Mushroom?_

_Votes: 2_

_Ranma tasted Ukyo's sauce without spilling it?_

_Votes: 1_


	14. Trying Too Hard

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** well, the last chapter went down a lot better than I thought it would, given how scanty it was towards the finale. I had a couple of reviewers state that they were hoping this chapter would highlight just how miserable Ranma and Akane would be together; now, admittedly, that was the original plan (albeit with the intent that it'd be viewed by Ranma-Prime offscreen). However, I was challenged to make a relatively positive chapter… so… yeah. Note, however, that this is a chapter about Ranma and Akane- not a Ranma/Akane chapter. I cannot bring myself to do that. And given that this chapter took the most revision of all the chapters this story has had so far, I don't want to try it.

An Evil Fox: yes, Ranma developed that ki blast on his own; I always thought that the anime's "Faux Fire Burst" could have made a nifty-looking ki blast technique. There's actually a few puns attached to it, both calling it Hadoken (which not only means fireball, but is also what the technique looks like) and Ranma-beta's reference to how calling it "Fire Burst" felt eerie for some reason. As for whether or not Shampoo ever found out… well…

Teturo: methinks that you are misremembering the Tsubasa storyline. In the original manga, we have Ranma-chan telling the apparent lesbian that s/he's sure that "she" could get a boyfriend, telling Akane, and I quote Viz Media, "I'm just trying to lead Tsubasa onto the correct path" when Akane demands to know why Ranma showed up as a boy, and then demanding that "she" stop chasing girls and go out with guys before Tsubasa's real gender comes out. The anime changes the date-explanation to Ranma not wanting to be called a pervert for having a girl after his female side, even preferring the trouble that another 'girlfriend' would cause, and has him asking Tsubasa to give guys a chance before he tears "her" shirt off, but it adds him/her angrily/disgustedly describing Tsubasa as a pervert when "her" apparent sexuality is revealed. It's obvious that Ranma does not think highly of homosexuality, especially when they're interested in him.

Xyber-Dragoon: I appreciate the plot suggestion, but I'm afraid it wouldn't work. Ranma's not heartless enough to just leave someone with their mind screwed up… and, more importantly, his ego is too big to allow himself to just be forgotten about like that. Not to mention that Genma and the other Tendos will be on his case to restore her, and it's a perfect opportunity to take a side-trip to Jusenkyo.

Sdarian: I do admit that I agree it's a bit weird that Nanniichuan and Nyanniichuan cancel each other out, but it's shown in the series that it's so (the Instant Nanniichuan story); I chalk it up to 'opposing energies cancel out'. Like how Fire and Ice magic dispel each other in Slayers. As for why the Guide wouldn't simply have casks of them out to cure visitors, beyond the fact he's pretty well established as a bumbling nincompoop, there's also the fact that there isn't really much call for them. The locals all know about the place so they avoid it like the plague, people brought for punishment can't get a cure, and visitors to Jusenkyo are rare as hen's teeth. Remember, Ranma and Genma were chased out of China before getting cured and are basically kept away, Ryoga couldn't find his own butt with both hands and a roadmap, Taro and the Frog Hermit like their curses, Shampoo is being punished, Mousse doesn't want to be away from Shampoo and probably considers it a 'badge of shame' ("I won't get cured until I destroy Ranma", sort of thing), and Herb couldn't make use of Nanniichuan while his curse was locked- until he retrieved the Kettle of Opening, taking a dip would just render him a girl who becomes a boy with cold water (or a boy who becomes a girl with hot water; take your pick), not cure him. He probably got himself cured once he was back home in China.

Lousy Poet Automaton: it's not normally in Ranma's character to spend so much time navel-gazing, I admit, but normally he also doesn't learn from navel-gazing. Seeing all of this laid out before him without any breaks is necessary to hammer into his head that he can start making changes to his life. Not to mention the basic backstory is Ranma has been cooped up in the shop due to the mini-monsoon currently raging outside- it's only been one day so far, and he hasn't been able to leave the shop yet.

Digital Dragon Productions: I appreciate the sentiment, though it's hard to tell that it's a compliment, given how you cut it off. And it looks there like you have your own fanfiction idea; I'd be happy to beta it for you, but I think you should be the one to write it, given that you came up with it. Suffice to say that Natsume and Kurumi will be showing up in at least one oneshot (the sakura-mochi one, if you wish to know) and maybe more.

Chapter 12: Trying Too Hard

"You know who I haven't looked in on yet?" Ranma-prime asked. He was more talking to himself than to Abe, so he didn't really notice when Abe chose to reply with a shake of the head (being busy currently hauling a load of miscellaneous junk to somewhere deeper in the store), instead going on in the same fashion. "Akane. I mean, she's the girl I'm actually engaged to. Shouldn't I take a look at a timeline with her?"

"Is that even possible?" Abe asked on his way past. "I mean, from what I've heard, the only reason Akane isn't officially your girlfriend is because you've always been too wishy-washy to come out and say it."

"I am not wishy-washy!" Ranma-prime roared.

"Whatever. She's the girl you pretty much favor already. I'm not sure that there are any timelines where you could have gotten closer. Hasn't she always blown her chances with you whenever she's popped up in the Eye so far?" Abe commented, not bothering to stick around for an answer as he returned to the depths of the store.

"No, she hasn't." Ranma-prime grumbled. It took him only a few moments to think of a suitable timeline to investigate, and the Eye began to swirl into the image of that fateful day of the inter-scholastic drama competition...

Akane was in a bit of dilemma, it was time for the major kiss scene in the play and she didn't know what to do.

'Should I use the tape? I mean, its not as if he is going to care either way. No, if I'm going to kiss him, might as well do it all the way, all natural! Besides, if he can't realize how I feel about him from this, well I can always just say I wanted him to win the trip to China.'

Akane decided that thinking more about it wasn't going to get the job done and with only a short breath to gather courage, Akane firmly placed her hands on Ranma's face and kissed him full on the lips.

There was a brief moment as Ranam tensed and then slowly, he began to relax as Akane smiled slightly, 'Well, at least I know he actually likes getting kissed.'

Prior to the kiss, Ranma's mental state could be easily summed up as "conflicted". Now, however, "nonexistent" worked best.

Now, Ranma wasn't totally naive about sex and related topics. Just mostly. He knew the basic mechanics, in a dry fashion, having received that education from his father and other crude sorts encountered on the road. But hearing about kissing (among other things) and actually being kissed for real were two different things. True, Ranma had technically been kissed twice since coming to Nerima, but he didn't count either of them. Mikado's, besides being a kiss from another guy (and mentally traumatizing), had been forced and very brief- it's solitary saving grace. Shampoo's was much the same; she was the dominant one there, and couple that with how 'out of it' Ranma had been, and he had barely registered he was even being kissed. Here, however, the sorta cute girl he kinda, sorta, maybe liked was giving him a soft, gentle kiss, and it was registering all too well. Primordial instincts finally asserted themselves and he began, slowly, gently, to kiss back.

Then, as suddenly as it had happened, the two broke apart. For an instant, the world ceased to exist any further than the couple's eyes, staring into each other's depths. It was an instant of purest, blessed peace. And then that peace was shattered forever as reality came roaring back in, carried on the winds of cheers of congratulations, roars of rage, the delighted weeping of the fathers and the general havoc as all of the other Furinkan students made their personal feelings on the matter clear (or at least attempted to do so). Akane's and Ranma's faces both flared bright red, hot enough to cook eggs, and they exploded into action so perfectly synchronized that you would have been hard pressed to disbelieve that they had neither planned nor rehearsed it, fleeing from the stage and off the school grounds in different directions.

Ranma-Prime hummed to himself in surprise. "Well, that was strange. I would have bet money she'd have sent him into LEO."

"Strange, I thought you had more faith in her than that." Abe commented.

"Oh, I have plenty of faith in her. It's just that Akane has never been able to take pressure very well." Ranma-prime replied lightly. Practically feeling the sudden silence, he turned to find Abe staring at him with an expression not unlike Ranma was a dung beetle who had proven able to not only speak, but also dictate the speeches of Abraham Lincoln. "What?" He snapped angrily.

"You... you know!?" Abe finally spluttered.

"That Akane can't handle being embarrassed or stuff like that? Duh." Ranma-prime retorted.

"But- then- why do you always tease her then?! Do you get off on being beaten or something?" Abe looked and sounded completely dumbstruck as he said this.

"Bite your tongue! And I don't tease her! Well, now and then, yeah, but I don't tease her all that often! The tomboy just takes stuff that I say wrong..." Ranma-prime grumbled the last part to himself, though Abe clearly heard him.

"How can she take it wrong when you routinely rub her weaknesses in her face, verbally and physically?" Abe asked in a disbelieving tone of voice.

"Hey, I'm trying to help her!" Ranma-prime protested.

"Help her? By insulting her?" Abe replied.

"Now you're doing it!" Ranma-prime snapped in a hurt tone of voice. "How is she supposed to get any better unless she works what she ain't good at? I'm doing her a favor by pointing out just where it is she needs to improve herself- it's not my fault she throws a tantrum instead of trying to fix what's broken! Hell, if I had acted towards my old man trying to teach me the way she does when I try to teach her, he would have beaten the need to fix them into me, no matter how many bruises it took. Can't do that sort of thing to a girl though."

Abe shook his head, "You know, most girls aren't exactly the kind of people you can just walk up to and insult their weaknesses and they'll try and fix them immediately. They tend to be more emotional about these things."

"Damn right they get emotional about those sort of things." Ranma groused as Abe rolled his eyes.

"Yeah well, sometimes you just have to tell it to them in a straightforward manner, without any teasing. I think you'll find that things will go a lot smoother if you do it that way."

"Yeah, yeah." Ranma waved idly and Abe shrugged as the teen returned to watching the mirror, he had said his piece after all.

The current scene depicted by the Eye showed Akane, somewhere in Nerima, having fled the school grounds in her embarrassment at having her first kiss witnessed by so many. Still, bright as she was blushing, she couldn't really regret it. She felt strangely lighter, as though a burden had finally been lifted from her now that she had let Ranma know how she really felt for him. And not only that, he had kissed her back! Did that mean... he felt the same way for her, too? No, he couldn't- he was always saying such nasty things to her, and then there was that Chinese floozy he let hang around him.

But... it wasn't as though he had much choice, now did he? That pervert and her lunatic grandmother were obsessed with those ridiculous, stupid laws of their backwater tribe, and they just refused to see sense and listen. As for Ranma's behavior... well... she had to admit, she had acted much the same way. She had hated the fact her father was forcing her into marrying someone she'd never even met. Could Ranma have been the same way? Acting like he had to push back against his own father?

Meanwhile, Ranma was in a calmer state, though his mind was still running wild after the experience. Akane had kissed him and it had felt good. It didn't feel awkward, it felt...natural in a sense.

'So what does that mean? Does the tomboy actually like me? I know we argue and all that since we got forced into this stupid engagement...'

'But could he actually like me?' Akane thought, 'Yes, he has to, and that means...'

"She really does like me.' Ranma smiled, 'That means she'll stop hitting me so much.'

'That means he'll stop teasing me so much.' Akane grinned widely.

'Things are going to be better.' The two thought to themselves as they each left their respective hiding places.

Unfortunately, things don't always run as anticipated. Later that evening, after the semi-celebration that Soun and Genma had thrown in their delight at Ranma and Akane having kissed (it had taken a united front by the two teens to keep them from calling a minister, but the fathers had been willing to hold off by taking their defiance as a sign of the teens' being in love), things were finally quieting down and it was approaching the time for them to go to bed. The evening had been somewhat awkward, but surprisingly mainly due to Soun and Genma, with Nabiki adding her own occasional taunts and teasing (though fortunately Kasumi ran some interference on the whole mess)- Ranma and Akane were more comfortable around each other (sans the occasional blush) than they had been since... well, ever. The fathers were elsewhere in the house enjoying a celebratory drink, Happosai was... who knew were, and who cared? And Nabiki and Kasumi had gone to their rooms. Akane and Ranma were left in peace.

And that was when the first sour note of the evening made its appearance. Ryoga, in his 'P-chan' guise, wandered onto the scene, to the delight of his unwitting love interest.

"Ah! P-chan! There you are, baby- come to mommy." Akane gushed happily, scooping up the blissful boy-turned-piglet and cuddling him eagerly to her breasts, Ranma twitching in anger as P-chan took full advantage of that to nuzzle. She stood up from the table. "It's time to go beddy-byes, P-chan."

"Wait, Akane! You can't take P-Chan to bed with you again!" Ranma shouted, instinctively ready to protest (futilely, as always) against Akane's unwitting indulgence in Ryoga's perverse goals, and flinching back from Akane's angry expression and aggressive/protective body language.

"What, Ranma? Don't you dare try to pick on P-chan! I've warned you about bullying him!" Akane's anger was sharper than it normally was; she thought Ranma cared for her, so why was he going out of his way to pick on her? He knew she hated the way he tormented her poor little pet!

Ranma fought the urge to grind his teeth in frustration; how could a girl who was so fixated on fighting perverts be so stupid? You'd think that, given she knew people who could turn into animals, she'd be the first to be suspicious of strange animals- hell, that she'd make a habit of pouring hot water on any strange animal or strange girl that she met, just in case they were a perverted boy with a Jusenkyo curse. Besides; didn't people do stuff for people that they really cared about? And if she really did care for him, maybe he could use that to persuade her to stop taking P-chan to bed with her...

"I wasn't going to bully him, I just thought that maybe you could perhaps have him sleep somewhere else. I mean, with all those blankets, he might get suffocated or something like that."

Needless to say, Ranma was imagining that situation occurring, with him doing the honors to the hypocritical pig.

Though she showed no sign of it on her face, Akane was shocked, and more than a little disappointed. She had opened her heart to Ranma, and she thought he cared. So why was he still tormenting her little P-chan? Was he really that jealous of him? Giving no sign of her dismay, she snorted disdainfully. "As if I'd ever be so careless with my precious baby. And since when do you care, Ranma?"

Crap, did he say something wrong? Oh, don't tell him that the tomboy thought he was 'teasing' her precious P-Chan again? Ranma mentally winced in disappointment; not even a day had passed and Akane was back to her old tricks. He had thought she was going to change, just a little anyway. Still, she hadn't flown of the handle immediately, so maybe he could persuade her- couldn't hurt to try, right?

"Aw, Akane, don't be that way. I don't mean anything by it, I just don't think it's right take that little runt to bed with you. I mean, he's not a toy, now is he? Aren't you mature enough to sleep on your own? ...And besides which, it's not that big a favor, now is it? I mean, if you really do like me, then surely you can do this one favor for me?" Ranma asked, putting on his best 'boyish charm' to add weight to his words.

Akane fought to keep the anger off of her face at Ranma's blatantly patronizing, wheedling words. How could he stand there and say such things to her with a straight face? She had thought that Ranma would stop being such a petty, jealous person when she made it clear that she did love him. Was her kiss not enough for him? Was he so pathetic that he resented even the care she gave to a harmless pet? Well, if this was the game he wanted to play...

"Oh, so you're worried for my sake, are you?" Akane said sweetly, a gentle smile on her face. Unfortunately for Ranma, if he had been paying closer attention, he would have realized that the squeal P-chan emitted was due to the pain from the force with which Akane's fingers had unconsciously clamped down, rather than rage at Ranma's attempted manipulation.

"That's right." Ranma replied confidently. But what was with the strange feeling of dread he had?

Akane leaned closer to Ranma, still smiling, until she was practically eye-to-eye with him. And then her expression changed to one of deepest anger. "Yeah right, pull the other one, you jerk! I can't believe you! I always knew you were petty and jealous, but this time you've really taken the cake! I can't believe you're so pathetic that you'd pull a stunt like this!"

In the Prime timeline, Ranma-prime winced as his counterpart began to argue back with Akane, prompting her to even further heights of vehemence (which just made him nastier in retaliation).

"Trouble in paradise?" Abe muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up. They only just kissed for the first time. A few arguments aren't anything to worry about." Ranma-prime grumbled as he began to delve further into the future.

A few arguments soon turned into many arguments and before Ranma knew it, the situation changed to the point that putting Akane and his other self in the same room was like putting a cobra and a mongoose in a cage, a fight of some sort was inevitable and it got to the point where Genma felt he needed to have a chat with his son.

"Son, let's have a spar, I need to talk to you."

Ranma was somewhat puzzled; his old man was never that eager for a sparring session these days, and more than once he'd gotten the feeling that their battles were just routine that Genma had yet to relinquish. Still, he had no pressing concerns to attract his attention elsewhere, and he could use the distraction, so he followed the elder Saotome to the dojo proper. There, the pre-fight rituals complete, they began to spar, relatively lightly at first (by their standards), as was the norm.

"So, what's up, pops?"

Genma considered his words for a moment before getting straight to the point, "Son, I'll be blunt. I've noticed that you haven't been getting along with your fiancée recently and I'm getting worried."

"So why are you bringing this up with me? It's not me who starts the damn fights!" Ranma complained, an extra doze of viciousness in the subsequent blows he aimed at his father.

"Oh, I know son, I know." Genma replied in a placating fashion, even as he dodged Ranma's new assault and retaliated. "However, perhaps you could try to be a little more diplomatic. I'm certain that whatever problems you have with Akane can be solved if you could try to remain calm. After all, even a fool can tell that a shouting match will solve nothing." Genma weaved around several strikes, noting that they were slightly more vicious than usual.

"Like I said, tell her that! I'm the diplomatic one- she's the one who always blows her damn stack when I say something she don't like! She won't even listen to me, just flies off the handle and hits me!" Ranma griped, so caught up in his complaints that several small chinks began to develop in his defenses.

Genma immediately took advantage of the chinks before Ranma reasserted his defense, "Maybe so, but you like all Saotome men are a proud person and while that pride is a good thing, it can make us seek fights where there are none or make a bad situation worse, and I'm afraid to say that you are as much to blame for this as Akane is."

"Name one instance where it was my fault!" Ranma demanded once he'd gotten back off the floor, throwing himself at his father with increased fervor.

"Last night." Genma's reply was blunt and his face was perfectly serious as he began dodging and redirecting the blows, "Honestly boy, I trained you to be able to keep your cool under any circumstance, and you go and blow your top every time you get into an argument with Akane; are you really slipping that badly?"

"Slipping! I'll show you slipping! Who are you to talk, huh? Who's the one who has to put up with her, huh? You know, that's the only thing worse than the fact she insists she's always in the right! It's the fact you two actually support her when she says she's in the right!"

"Now son, you're exaggerating a little..." Genma didn't really have a chance to finish as he was put on the defensive.

"No I'm not! I'm sick of her, and I'm sick of you! If this is all you wanted to talk to me about, then we're done! Good! Bye!" These last three words were punctuated with powerful blows to Genma's head, sending him sprawling to the ground with the final one.

His final thought before he lost consciousness, as Ranma stormed out, was "that definitely could have gone better..."

Ranma-prime couldn't help but wince; still, he and Akane went through "hot and cold" spats all the time- surely things would perk up? After all, they always had done before… He quickly turned his attention to another key event.

"Ranma! Come back and eat this!"

"I'll take a rain check! You eat it!"

"How can you say that when I worked so damn hard on it, and all for your sake?!"

"Because it's not fit for human consumption! You can't cook! Why can't you understand that?"

"Do those two ever stop?" Nabiki grumbled, watching as Ranma and Akane raced around and around the yard, arguing at the tops of their lungs.

"Like you've any grounds to complain, Ranma! People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, you know!" Akane shouted angrily.

"And just what the hell does that mean?" Ranma asked after a moment or two of puzzling that statement out, the vast majority of his anger vanishing as that seemingly ridiculous statement registered.

"Everyone knows that only girls cook. Bad I might be, but I'm still more of a cook than you!" Akane declared triumphantly.

"...You're saying I'm a worse cook than you?" Ranma finally gritted out, his eye twitching in a frankly rather worrisome tic.

"You couldn't make something better than I could if your life depended on it," Akane replied confidently.

"You're challenging me? You? Are challenging? Me?" Ranma asked, the disbelief dripping from his words so obvious it was practically visible. "...Well, fine. I accept your challenge."

Without further ado, Ranma walked straight past Akane and into the kitchen, gently steering Kasumi out before getting to work as the entire household watched as Ranma began grabbing ingredients at random, his body a whirl of motion as he started cooking. He was a lot slower in the kitchen than Akane was, but the ease with which he assembled everything meant, in the end, he saved time, as he didn't constantly have to try and 'catch up' to himself when something went wrong. Finally, everything was ready and a full family-sized meal was laid out on the table, neat and professional.

Ranma smirked triumphantly at his fiancée.. "Well? Now who's the better cook?"

"Appearance doesn't count." Akane protested, crossing her arms.

"You're right. Kasumi? Nabiki? Do the honors."

The two elder Tendos reluctantly sat down at the table, directing more than a few nervous looks at both Akane and Ranma, before beginning to eat.

"Oh, my, this is rather good, Ranma." Kasumi commented in mild surprise.

"Yeah, Saotome. Why didn't you say you could cook before?" Nabiki added.

"Nobody ever asked me." Ranma said with an exaggeratedly nonchalant shrug of the shoulders. His triumphant grin grew wider as Soun and Genma quickly joined the other Tendos, eating with every sign of enjoyment. Nobody got the better of Ranma Saotome!

Akane, meanwhile, was trying to hold back her anguish at the scene; her heart feeling like it had literally shattered into pieces. How could Ranma betray her like this? Didn't he care for her at all? She had tried her best! It wasn't fair! He was a better martial artist than her; he turned into a girl that was cuter than she was; now he was a better cook! What had she ever done to deserve this? Why did he have to torture her like this? "Ranma... you... jerk!" Akane finally screamed, tears gushing down her face as she turned and ran away, audibly sobbing.

"...But things got better from there, right?" Ranma-prime asked the mirror. Somehow, without even speaking, it managed to convey hesitance. "Right?" He asked- or perhaps pleaded might be the better word. With obvious reluctance, the Eye began to move, flicking to various points in time as it had done for the previous timeline.

The first scene started out simply enough, the pair sparring while being watched by Genma and Ranma focused in as Akane launched a powerful haymaker and Ranma simply flowed around it with an annoyed look before firmly tapping Akane, the action seemingly serving to annoy Akane.

"Dammit Ranma! I can take a hit you know! So just hit me already!"

Too quick to follow, a series of emotions swept over Ranma's face before a kind of angry resignation finally settled into the dominant position. "Fine. You asked for it." He growled.

Akane promptly moved in with a broad left hood. Ducking around it easily, Ranma struck back almost instinctively. It wasn't full strength; Ranma-Prime could tell easily, but just hard enough that it was going to hurt. And Akane dropped to her knees coughing from the force of the impact as Ranma walked off, ignoring Genma's protest.

"I'm done. If you can't take a little tap like that, I'm not going to bother."

Ranma-Prime winced as the realization sunk in that, in that one cold statement, his counterpart had summed up his entire opinion of Akane's skill, and displayed his utter disrespect for Akane at the same time as the mirror began to move forward.

The next scene seemed peaceful enough, with Ranma going through kata in a park on a sunny day, until Shampoo showed up. Ranma-Prime braced himself for a glomp, but then found himself gaping as Shampoo simply stopped and began chatting casually. No glomps, no attempts to kiss him, no expressions of affection of any kind.

"So how is Ranma doing? Shampoo notice that Ranma been fighting too too many times with Akane."

Ranma shrugged as he cracked his joints. "It's fine when we stay out of each other's way. Still, she keeps getting on my nerves and frankly, I think it's making me slip, so I figured I'd practice out here in the park."

Shampoo was about to speak up when she glanced behind Ranma and her expression soured slightly, "Shampoo have to go now, nice talking to Ranma." As she left, Ranma turned slightly and his expression dimmed at seeing Akane stomping up to him.

"I knew it! You weren't out here practicing, just meeting another one of your floozies! Pervert!"

Ranma's face was stony, as he walked past her, only pausing long enough to hiss, "I didn't know you gave a damn about whether I talked to girls other than you." With that he resumed walking away, leaving a confused and angry Akane.

Ranma-Prime regarded the mirror with what could be called trepidation… if it wasn't for the far more volatile emotions mixed into it. "I'm guessing its only going to get worse from there… right?" The mirror's response was to begin shifting forward again, but, before it could get too far…

"Enough!" Ranma-prime practically roared. "I get it already! Me and Akane have problems! So what's your point?! I had problems with all of the other girls, and that didn't stop me hooking up with them!"

"Um, just to point out, when you really boil it down, your problems with the other girls primarily stemmed from their often childish and/or outright amoral attempts to get your attention." Abe commented, his voice sounding as though it were coming from far away. "Outside of that, you're afraid of what Shampoo's laws might mean for you if you do accept them, you've never so much as tried to see Ukyo in a romantic light, and Kodachi's worldview is fragmented, to put it mildly, and so you've tried your hardest to stay out of it."

"Your point?" Ranma-prime asked vehemently.

"My point is that the problems you have with them aren't quite so bad as you think they are, that's all."

"Swell. Terrific. And I suppose you're going to show me that we ended up having the granddaddy of all break ups and hated each other for the rest of our lives?" Ranma-prime snarled at the Eye. It made no sound, but instead scrolled into the image of another argument between himself and Akane…

**"I can't take it anymore!"**

Ranma blinked as Akane collapsed to her knees and began sobbing, "Dammit it all, I was happy until you came into my life! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Ranma snorted as he sat down as well, "You think I want this? I never wanted this engagement, but at least I tried to make it work! I- I just... I don't know what went wrong. I was trying, and I guess you were too, but... how did it come to this? We can't seem to go more than a few hours without fighting, and my old man and his weird grasp of honor haven't made things any easier- Shampoo and those Kuno freaks were bad enough, but who could have expected Ucchan?"

"What? You think I haven't been trying as well?" Akane turned a half-hearted, weak glare in Ranma's direction, "And really, Ucchan? What did she do that I didn't to get a pet name? Dammit, I actually wanted this to work and now..." She slumped further to the ground, "This sucks."

"You got that right." Ranma answered softly. "Damn the old men and their stupid ideas, and damn them again for being stubborn fools. And now, here we are; stuck together, unable to stand each other, and with half of Tokyo trying to pull us apart. I... I don't blame you. You know, for hating me."

Akane choked down another sob as she got her emotions under control before whispering, "I don't hate you."

Ranma blinked and turned his head to her, "Eh?"

Akane sniffed slightly, "I don't hate you, I hate this engagement, I don't want anything to do with it anymore! I don't care if you marry Kasumi, or Nabiki or any one of those damn floozies of yours, I don't care if we never speak to each other again, I just don't want to be engaged to you any more!"

Ranma directed an expression at once relieved and aghast at Akane upon hearing those words, before a tired acceptance sank into place and he gave a morose nod. "I agree with you. Hell, I know we got our bad points, but I don't think we need to go as far as stop speaking. I mean, you did ask to be my friend that day, I'd still like that."

Akane sniffed again, "You mean it?"

Ranma nodded, "Yeah, I mean it. I mean, it's not as if being friends can be any worse than this mess we're in right now."

Akane smiled slightly, "I'd like that, being friends I mean."

Ranma chuckled, "So, this mean our engagement is officially broken?"

Akane nodded with a smile on her face, "And I never, ever, ever, want to be engaged to a pervert like you again."

Ranma gave her a soft, self-mocking chuckle in return. "Back at ya… tomboy."

_Not a very romantic chapter at all, but what did you expect from us? Anyway, that's the most controversial of our chapters done, so now we resume our regular program of voting for inclusions. In related news, it's come to my attention that more than a few of the oneshot "seeds" that Gideon020 and I have come up with (or which have been suggested) don't seem to be very popular. After discussing this, we decided that this would be the 'cut off point'; once the next chapter of Another Rainy Day is complete, we will remove any oneshots that have less than 7 votes from the roster. We may get around to writing them up eventually, but they won't be part of this story. If you want to see what we can do with a seed, leave a review, or send a PM, telling me which ones you want. To let you all know where the various seeds are standing, here's the list._

_What If…_

_Ranma kissed Shampoo back when she gave him the "Kiss of Marriage"?_

_Votes: 25_

_Kaori won the Takeout Race?_

_Votes: 18_

_Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel?_

_Votes: 13_

_  
Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode?_

_Votes: 12_

_Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second?_

_Votes: 10_

_Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki?_

_Votes: 10_

_Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo?_

_Votes: 9_

_  
Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time?_

_Votes: 9_

_Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?_

_Votes: 8_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"?_

_Votes: 7_

_  
When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, they replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride?_

_Votes: 7_

_Shampoo figured out Ranma was lying about really being a girl instead of going back to China?_

_Votes: 6_

_  
Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima?_

_Votes: 6_

_Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer?_

_Votes: 5_

_During the Ten-Year Sauce mess, Ukyo actually threw away the sauce like she said she was going to do?_

_Votes: 5_

_  
When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face?_

_Votes: 5_

_Ranma tasted Ukyo's sauce without spilling it?_

_Votes: 2_

_Akane hadn't gone to Yumogi Valley?_

_Votes: 2_

_Shampoo snapped her fingers before the cat sneezed when using the Kirahashi Mushroom?_

_Votes: 2_


	15. Random Chance

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** fewer reviews than I was anticipating, but only one complaint that Ranma and Akane would work and one complaint from an ultra-hard anti-Akane reader, so it's all good.

Teturo: I concede that the evidence doesn't really exist that Ranma hates homosexuals, but that was never the point I was trying to make. That point is that Ranma doesn't consider "Ranko" to be himself, so he would never love a lesbian who fell for "her". He considers his curse to be a useful tool and grows more comfortable with using it as the series progresses, I'm not denying that, but he never truly accepts it. Up to the very end of the manga, he still jumps at any chance to get rid of it- before Akane got kidnapped, he got involved in the Jusendo affair because it was claimed that it would leave him without a cure forever. Yes, he did flood the springs, but it was them or Akane's life, and Ranma has never been callous enough to leave someone to die, not even his worst enemy (besides, I'm pretty sure that the flooding was an unforeseen side-effect of the fight). And let's not forget that in the final chapter, where Ranma has admitted (to himself at least) that he loves Akane and he's on the verge of finally going through with the wedding… one mention of the Nanniichuan cask and he all but dumps Akane at the altar to try and get his hands on it.

Lord Edric: Maomolin's bell is from the anime's seventh season and the manga's… can't tell you which volume. Basically, Shampoo was trapped in an abandoned temple by a giant bakeneko, who cast a curse on her that would trap her permanently in cursed form unless she got a kiss from Ranma before the temple bell tolled 108 times that night.

Youko-Taicho: there's already a oneshot where that happens on FFN, though I don't recall the title off the top of my head.

DCWestby: the thing is, neither Nabiki nor Ranma have anything to offer the other that would persuade them to so much as call a truce, let alone try and have a relationship. Nabiki sees Ranma as a cash cow, and while Ranma now knows that she's not entirely heartless, she's simply too callous for it to be worth his time and effort to try and break through to her, particularly when there are several others he could make a relationship with instead. As for Yuka and Sayuri… while the two might find Ranma attractive (Ranma the Lady Killer), they're too much of Akane's friends to try and steal her fiancé, not to mention that A: Ranma's life is pretty intimidating to a norm, and B: they're probably at least half-convinced that Ranma is a good-looking scumbag, due to Akane's habit of ranting to them about his 'misdeeds'. As for Ranma… I don't think he even knows that they exist. On the topic of Kodachi, you have a point, but by this point in the timeline, given how much the "pigtailed harridan" has "harassed", "humiliated", "cheated" and otherwise "abused" Kodachi, would she really take the revelation that the two Ranmas are the same person calmly? It seems more likely she'd swear off having anything to do with him.

Chapter 13: Random Chance

Shampoo fought to prevent herself from betraying the pain she felt from her head. Unlike most modern martial artists who used them, Shampoo's chúi were the real things, their heads solid lumps of steel, and that equated to a lot of pain. For both her enemies and herself. Methodically, silently, she took in the form of the boy who had defeated her, the handsome stranger with the same name as her enemy. Now, technically the win hadn't been official, as he hadn't challenged her -hell, he'd been aiding that scrawny Japanese girl against Shampoo's interrogations when he'd knocked her out- but he was clearly skilled, good looking too, and let's not forget the two most important things: he wasn't Mousse, and Shampoo was, frankly, rather desperate.

She hadn't had a real date since she'd hit puberty, thanks to that blind stalker and his attacking any boy (or girl, or animal, or inanimate object) who he thought might be interested. Mousse wasn't the most powerful fighter in the village, but those of better skill than him tended to be either not Shampoo's type, so egotistical that they didn't think she was worthy of them, or engaged already. It had to be admitted that Shampoo's own diligence in pursuing martial arts prowess had also alienated those of her generation, and coupled with Mousse's borderline crazed "defense" of her, the result was that all Joketsuzoku who might be interested in her were kept away.

But that didn't matter anymore; now, she had a cute Outsider husband who was an even stronger martial artist than she- although she would have to take steps to rectify that once this whole messy business with that insulting Outsider girl was over with. After all, it just wouldn't do for one member of a married Warrior couple to be weaker than the other. Now if he'd just stop backing away from her- and what was he babbling about? Her grasp of Japanese wasn't all that good, but he seemed to be insisting that she hadn't really lost the fight. Modest, eh? That was attractive...

She managed to keep her surprise hidden when he suddenly lunged forward towards her- no, that other strange boy (and where had he come from, anyway?) had pushed him towards her. Shampoo felt a momentary pulse of gratitude towards the other, but it was quickly ignored in favor of catching her husband in her arms and twining them around his back. She leaned into the impromptu embrace, enjoying the warmth, the feel of him. She looked up into steel gray eyes, unusual for a Japanese but not so out of place amongst her people (her own eyes were a deep red, after all), filled with confusion. With a gentle smile, she spoke three words to him in a soft voice, words in her native language.

"I love you."

She thought she heard the motherly girl in the apron translate her words into Japanese, but she didn't particularly care. After giving her husband a few moments to let those words sink in, she quickly set her lips to his; taking up the part of the engagement ceremony she had been anticipating the most.

Shampoo knew that any given Outsider's reaction to the Kiss of Marriage was unpredictable, and also that her new husband passionately returning her kiss was unlikely at best, but that still didn't prevent her from being disappointed. He didn't react in the slightest; she might almost have thought she was kissing a dummy of some sort. Then, to her surprise and delight, the arms that had previously been dangling loosely in the air closed around her with gentle softness, and the lips she was kissing began to kiss back. Hesitantly and awkwardly at first, admittedly, but that didn't trouble Shampoo in the slightest; it was merely proof that her husband was shy, and as inexperienced as she was, if not more so. She could have happily kissed for an eternity, but things, alas, took a different turn.

The sound of steel impacting against bone would have caught her attention anyway- that it coincided with her husband's lips suddenly falling slack and his almost boneless collapse to the ground ensured that she was startled out of her romantic daze.

"Darling?" She asked automatically, catching him before he could fall all the way. Then she noticed the broken chúi head currently dented against the contours of his skull, and she allowed him to finish his collapse in her surprise. Looking around drew her attention to the only possible culprit; that scrawny girl from before, currently glowering angrily at the unconscious boy on the floor.

Shampoo shot to her feet, meeting the Japanese assailant's stare with one of her own, anger boiling within her heart- how **dare** she do something like that to Shampoo's husband! Subtly she edged towards the remaining intact chúi; if this got physical, like it would have in the village, then she wanted to be ready- while she was no slouch at unarmed wu shu, her particular skill lay in her mastery of weapons, in the wielding of the chúi and the dao. All the while, she met the other girl's gaze steadily, not looking away, not blinking. The stare finally ended when the Japanese girl stuck her nose up in the air with a disdainful sniff, though Shampoo would swear she had caught a glimpse of rightly earned fear in her eyes, and stomped away. Shampoo watched her go, her gaze burning the proverbial holes into her back, distracted only when a tall, lean, authoritative-looking Japanese man suddenly strode into the room, firmly demanding to know what the fuss was.

The motherly girl spoke to the older man (her father, perhaps?), and he evidently didn't like what he heard, as he promptly turned angrily to... the panda? That, however, was when her husband promptly regained his senses, startling Shampoo with the speed with which he shot up and... also began to harangue the panda. Shampoo seriously wondered for a moment if that maniac had somehow damaged her husband's brain, then reassured itself it was just part of the obvious concussion- after all, nobody could get hit that hard and not feel a little strange afterwards. As he was talking, she figured it would be impolite to cut him off with a kiss. She settled for eagerly cuddling up to him and nuzzling him instead.

That turned out to be the wrong move; she wasn't a hundred percent sure that the old man had been asking about her before, but he definitely was after seeing her being affectionate. Once everyone in the room was seated at the table, the old man began to question her husband in a rather angry fashion. Hmm... was he her husband's father? That might explain why he was so acting so strangely; trying to be helpful, Shampoo showed him her manual version of the Joketsuzoku Book of Law.

Apparently mollified now, he took it from her and began leafing through the pages, suddenly pausing. Eagerly, Shampoo's husband leaned in and asked him what the book said. With a disgusted expression, her husband's father flicked it away. Now, Shampoo's Japanese was rather rudimentary, but she was pretty sure that what he said next boiled down to him being completely unable to read Chinese, at which she fought the urge to slap her head in disbelief. How had he missed the Japanese translation? She really hoped her husband had more brains than his father did...

Sighing, Shampoo grabbed the manual, flicked to the right page and slapped it down on the table, finger pointing squarely at the Japanese translation, at which point her husband looked it over and then read it out loud to the others, the words drawing the attention of everyone in the room as her husband informed them of the marriage laws.

Immediately there was a storm of uproar and shouted questions and it quickly became very, very confusing for the next few minutes.

That evening, Shampoo was calmly cuddling up to her husband after all the chaos that had occurred as he gulped and started speaking slowly, having apparently noted her language difficulties as Shampoo turned her face up to his so she could listen better.

He was getting more and more flustered as he tried to make his case about the marriage laws, something about them not being valid outside the village and because of that, could she perhaps call the engagement off?

Shampoo pouted as she shifted to press her body against his and leaned in, before quite calmly making her point clear. "No."

She then continued, carefully pronouncing every word to avoid mistakes, "Shampoo...like Ranma...can see Ranma...like Shampoo. So...there no problem."

Ranma started to protest again, and every time he did so, Shampoo calmly restated every time, "There no problem." As she kept this up, the protests became more and more haphazard, until Shampoo finally noticed that he had stopped backing away from her at some earlier point, so their faces were now nearly touching.

Shampoo grinned cattily at the nervous look on her husband's face, "What Ranma's problem?"

The kiss after that told her that there was no problem after all.

In all of the confusion of the day, one might easily have thought that Shampoo had forgotten her original mission, of slaying the "girl type Ranma" who had disgraced her. Night had fallen and she had quietly slipped out of the house and into the yard, preparing to venture forth into the city in hopes of finding the girl- she wasn't too sure how she'd find the girl, but she hoped that she was still in the city. Her head perked up as she heard two female voices arguing in Japanese.

One sounded like the bitchy Japanese girl who had assaulted her husband, the other was unmistakably that of her quarry. She knew that scrawny witch had been hiding her! Pulling out a dao and a chúi, she ran towards the sound- she wouldn't get away this time! Shampoo would have her revenge, and then she and her husband would return home in triumph! She came onto the scene as a massive boulder flew clumsily through the air and landed just beside her quarry. As the unwitting redhead shouted angrily at the girl who threw it, Shampoo announced her presence by flinging her chúi at the boulder, splitting it neatly in half. The female Ranma screamed in shock, then blanched at the sight of the Chinese Amazon.

"Ranma!" Shampoo shouted, flourishing her dao. "I kill!" And with that she sprang at her foe, preparing to avenge her loss or die trying.

"Wait! Hold on a moment Shampoo! It's me!"

Shampoo wondered for a brief moment whether she had heard the girl right, and then why she would say such foolish things. "You die, Ranma!" She shouted, her blade flashing through the air in a sweeping arc that would have easily severed the Japanese girl's head if she hadn't twisted out of the way with astonishing flexibility. As always, she raced off, running rather than fighting, and Shampoo snatched up her chúi and followed her. Around and around they went, over the roof, through the house, along the walls, until finally the redhead managed to get out of Shampoo's sight and disappear. Shampoo snarled to herself in frustration as she stalked through the garden- how was it that the red-haired bitch always managed to do this? Why would she never stand at fight? If she wanted this to end, then why not finish it in battle? She was drawn from her angry musings by the sounds of bushes shuffling, of people struggling, voices arguing and a feminine cry of pain. Quickly investigating the sound, she saw her enemy possessively clutching a kettle, a triumphant expression on her face.

"Shampoo kill you!"

The blade of the Dao sang as it swept in a perfect killing stroke and in her blood-lust, Shampoo didn't see the expression on her enemy's face as she shifted the kettle into the path of the blade and there was the familiar shriek of metal cutting metal as steaming hot water was sprayed out.

Almost immediately, Shampoo twisted her grip into a reverse position and placed the palm of her free hand against the hilt, intent on driving the blade straight through the heart of the cowardly bitch when her eyes saw a familiar male face covered on hot water and she froze, sword tip hovering millimeters from his heart as Shampoo's eyes widened in shock, and then horror as it became all too perfectly clear what had happened.

The blade quivered slightly as tears began to form in Shampoo's eyes as the realization she was about to kill her husband, her Jusenkyo **cursed** husband, not some Outsider girl who had defeated her.

Ranma flinched, expecting at any moment to feel the icy fire of Shampoo's blade carving into his flesh- how could he have been so stupid?! How had he allowed that damn kiss to dull his mind so much that he forgot she was still intent on killing his female side? …Wait, where was the pain? He opened his eyes to find himself staring down at a sword's blade, one that was currently trembling at a steadily increasing rate. A soft, feminine exclamation of emotion caught his ears, and he looked past the blade to the Chinese girl at the other end of it, whose eyes were currently welling with tears. As he allowed his confusion to shine in his own eyes, she dropped the dao with a cry of despair, and the next thing Ranma knew she had thrown her arms around him and was sobbing, quite unreservedly, into his chest.

Confusing as this was, it was only made more so when she finally managed to compose herself sufficiently to babble something in Chinese. It took several minutes before Ranma finally managed to figure out that she was frantically spouting apologies. Now, while those were far from unwelcome, Ranma wanted something else: namely, an explanation of what the hell was going on.

"Shampoo, why are you sorry?" He finally asked, after spending several long moments trying to think of a way to get his point across. Shampoo paid no attention for a moment, then sniffled loudly before she finally managed to start speaking. The combined flaws of her rudimentary Japanese and her emotional state made her hard to comprehend, but Ranma finally thought he'd managed to piece together what she was saying.

"Shampoo sorry- too-too sorry! Shampoo not know! Shampoo never hurt Ranma, not if know truth-" here she suddenly broke off, fixing Ranma with a stare that was no less penetrating for the gleam of tears it was filtering through. "-You **is** man?" She asked, suspicion in her tone.

"**Yes!"** Ranma shouted in his attempt to ensure his answer was emphatic as possible. Shampoo flinched at the sound and Ranma couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. That was quickly drowned by a more important realization. "So, you're calling off the Kiss of Death?"

Shampoo nodded rapidly and clarified herself as best she could, her tears drying fast (though her death grip on Ranma remained firm as ever). "Ranma is man, Shampoo no can give Kiss of Death. If know Ranma is man, Shampoo never try kill Ranma."

"So, you mean, if that idiot guide had just drenched me with hot water, I'd've been safe back in yer village?" Ranma didn't expect an answer, but evidently Shampoo got his jist, and her nod of conjecture gave Ranma cause for an extra surge of rage at the bumbling oaf who had taken them first to Jusenkyo proper, and then to the Amazon village.

"Ranma **please** forgive?" Shampoo begged, eyes starting to grow wet again. "Shampoo swears, Shampoo never hurt Ranma, boy or girl."

Now, most people would have been pretty hesitant to forgive a girl who had been chasing them with murderous intent. Ranma, however, wasn't most people. Thoroughly immersed in the "unique" culture of martial arts, Ranma had a far lighter view of murderous intent than the average non-combatant; he could understand Shampoo's motives, to an extent, and thusly empathize with them. The fact it had also all been a big misunderstanding, and one that was evidently settled in a much better manner than a similar misunderstanding (damn Ryoga), helped quite a bit. Of course, Ranma was also something of a sucker for a crying girl, but that was a relatively minor element.

"It's alright, I forgive you." After a moment's hesitation, he promptly added. "But that don't mean I'm marrying you. We're in Japan now, so that stupid rule don't count here."

Shampoo didn't bother to deny Ranma's claims. She was just happy that he'd forgiven her for her terrible mistake, and knew that if he could so easily forgive her trying to take his life, then he was as good as hers already - what other reason could there be for his forgiveness but him already being in love with her? All she had to do was wait for him to admit that to himself, and they would be married. She could be patient.

Unfortunately for the two teens, they were unaware that they were being watched. The struggles that had alerted Shampoo to "Girl Type Ranma's" presence had been Ranma tearing a kettle of hot water from the ever-greedy, ever-unscrupulous Nabiki's arms, and she was not happy. Not just because she'd lost a chance to get money, but also because the force with which the boy-turned-girl had taken the kettle had left her arm throbbing with pain- in fact, she was convinced that it was sprained. The fact that Ranma probably could have torn it clean out of its socket, or snapped the bones like kindling, failed to register with Nabiki, who was instead fuming with anger and vowing that Ranma would pay for what he had done. She wondered how Akane would take this 'challenge' if she presented the new facts to her- after all, whether or not she did have feelings for Ranma, she always was very possessive...

Five days later, five long, havoc filled days as Akane, Nabiki, Kuno, Genma, Soun and Ryoga all took their turns at trying to tear strips of proverbial (and literal, in some cases) flesh out of Ranma...

"Ranma? Wake up, Ranma; we need talking." Shampoo whispered. It was late at night, and everyone else in the Tendo household was asleep. Including her reluctant husband to be, who was currently snoring softly. Shampoo frowned; why did he have to be such a sound sleeper, on tonight of all nights? When shaking him didn't get any reaction, even when he was practically a blur from the speed with which she was doing so, Shampoo reluctantly pulled out the ultimate weapon... a kettle of boiling hot water, which she poured over Ranma.

"That's hot!" Ranma shrieked, at which Shampoo promptly slapped a hand over his mouth in fear that he'd wake somebody up. Both teens froze, as if waiting for the hammer to drop, then sighed in mutual relief when Ranma's cry in the night went unnoticed. Shampoo took her hand off of Ranma's mouth and Ranma fixated her with an icy stare.

"What's going on? Why'd you wake me up?" He grumbled in an exasperated whisper. Sleeping was one of the few times he got any peace, especially in these days.

"Shampoo need talking with Ranma. Ranma not like what happening here, yes?"

"Well, duh. Things weren't exactly pleasant here before, but this is the pits." Ranma complained.

"Then why stay here?" Shampoo asked.

"I ain't exactly got any place else to go." Ranma pointed out sarcastically.

"Ranma come back to China; get cured there too." Shampoo immediately responded.

"I've told you already, I ain't gonna marry nobody!" Ranma hissed.

"Shampoo no say you marry Shampoo." She snapped back. Of course, she was thinking it, but still! "Nyucheizu is village of martial artists; Ranma be welcome- more welcome! Besides, is much more good, no?"

"...I don't follow." Ranma admitted, unable to decipher what she was saying even with his new experience in compensating for her linguistic faults.

"Ranma want waste life here?" Shampoo asked, waving a hand at their surroundings. "Get old and weak teaching basics to bored weaklings? Never grow as true warrior? Struggle to feed self while care for stupid panda and stupid noisy man and bitchy girl? In village, Ranma become true warrior, gain much, much skill- we have thousands of techniques to teach, and Ranma be most welcome student."

Ranma had to admit that Shampoo did have some points- he had spent his whole life training to be the best; how was he ever supposed to achieve that goal running a run-down dojo? Oh, he'd take students eventually, but not for years yet, he still had a lot to learn himself. Still, there was one problem she hadn't thought of, and Ranma was quick to bring it up. "And what about the others, huh? You think they'll just let me up and leave?"

"Most of them, yes." Shampoo replied without hesitation. "Stupid Kunos and Tendos lived without Ranma; Ranma leave, they get over it and go back to old ways. Idiot pig get lost all time, so he no trouble." Shampoo had found out about Ryoga's existence and curse on roughly the third day; learning about his masquerade as P-chan had not endeared the eternally lost boy to her, nor had it helped her opinion of Akane's intelligence. "Only trouble is old fatso; is too sneaky... but Ranma and Shampoo is sneaky too. We smart, we strong, we fast, we work as team, we can beat old fart if he ever catch us, then run again."

It said wonders for Shampoo's intelligence that she had realized long before now that casually suggesting they simply kill Genma right then and there while he slept was the absolute worst thing she could have done. She waited for Ranma to reply, hoping she had convinced him; she'd had it up to the back teeth with Nerima and the punishment that these ignorant outsiders were inflicting upon **her** husband, and she swore she'd leave here even if she had to carry him.

Finally, slowly, Ranma nodded his assent. Shampoo fought to repress the urge to squee in delight, instead settling for a rib-cracking hug. A few minutes were all it took for them to gather up Ranma's meager belongs and slip out through the window, Ranma taking the lead as he, naturally, had rather more experience with stealing out of houses than Shampoo did.

Ranma-prime chose that moment to pull the Eye away from this timeline, anticipating that it would be a successful match between himself and the Chinese Amazon and not really feeling in the mood to watch that. Though he kept his face surprisingly blank, he was still deeply puzzled by a single question: why? Why did he see so many other versions of himself marrying girls he had never expressed any interest in? Was he really blinding himself as to the nature of all of the girls after him?

Abe silently watched his current and only customer, who was still staring silently into the Eye. He hadn't spoken a word since that timeline with Akane; not that Abe could blame him. It was hard having to confront such painful truths. He hoped the boy would be all right…

_A rather different style this time around, but I hope that you all enjoy it; it's good to have a bit of variety in your work, yes? Only 4 oneshots were sent to the scrapheap with the last session of voting, but I've decided to scrap the "What if Ryoga tried to hook Shampoo up with Ranma" oneshot as well, as the Mousse-orientated oneshot way back when this story began was noted by fans as not really working that well. We had some reviews saying that "A Different Route Taken" was starting to decline in quality, so we've decided to focus on finishing off this story first in hopes of regaining our creative spark. For the interested, the top three oneshots are currently: What if Kaori won the race, what if Cologne's plan with the Reversal Jewel worked, and what if the Girly-Girl Gambit succeeded. Please read, review, and vote._


	16. One Shot

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** I was amazed that people took the style change for the last chapter so positively; I'm happy that you all thought I made it work. I was even more amazed, however, that so many people trusted I could make a viable chapter from the oneshot girl Kaori Daikoku. It warms my heart to know you think that highly of us, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter- it's rather hard to do Kaori justice with just a oneshot, I feel.

Chapter 14: One Shot

"I get that I've 'missed' more than a few chances with my other fiancées." Ranma-prime told the Eye. "But how about a change in pace? Show me a girl I only had one chance with."

The Eye promptly obliged, and Ranma-prime found himself staring at the Martial Arts Takeout Race. How long ago it felt; Shampoo hadn't come back from China, he'd never even heard of Mousse, Happosai or Cologne, he had no idea that Ukyo was his fiancée and out for revenge, it had been a peaceful time. Well, as much as that term could possibly be applied to him, anyway. Now he found himself watching from an outsider's perspective as Kaori Daikoku held Akane prisoner in the goofy-yet-lethal "Ramen Roundup Noodle Noose", while his past self watched from bushes, torn over whether or not to intervene. As the scene played out, Kaori repeated her promise to let Akane go if she'd simply surrender. In his own timeline, Akane had stubbornly held out just long enough for his past self to get kicked into the river and, with his curse for a disguise, interfere to Akane's benefit. In this timeline, however, Akane promptly dropped the box onto the street as her hands flew to her neck.

Ranma didn't really believe Akane would surrender; even though she had been begging for his assistance before hand. Most likely, she sought to apply her full strength to the choking noodles, aiming to retrieve the container once she'd torn them from her neck. Unfortunately for her, it was an opening that her opponent was quick to seize. At once, Kaori's noodle lasso unwound itself from Akane's neck, coiling in mid-air to strike again- only this time it seized Akane's takeout box from its position at her side, lifting it up off of the ground and then bringing it crashing down, smashing the box and ruining the food inside.

With a triumphant laugh, Kaori turned and ran, leaving Akane panting as she regained her breath. The heir to the Daikoku School made no further attack against her- with her food destroyed, Akane was legally disqualified, and with all of the other competitors having been eliminated, Kaori Daikoku had no rivals to challenge her. Ranma-prime scrolled a little further into the timeline, then immersed himself fully at the point where his other self had climbed into the Daikoku's car and they drove away- Ranma-prime didn't particularly want to see the hysterics and anger that would have taken place before that.

Ranma exhaled heavily from his place in the back seat. His departure from the Tendo Dojo had been anything but pleasant; he just thanked his lucky stars that Soun and Genma had chosen to start squabbling with each other, rather than venting all of their spleen on him. Given that Genma had made the original deal, but Soun was the one who had agreed to Mr. Daikoku's terms, they had plenty of ammo- in fact, the last he'd seen of them, Genma was rubbing Soun's declaration that he would gift-wrap Ranma if Akane lost in the Tendo patriarch's face. He didn't know whether Mr. Daikoku giving Soun the year's supply of ramen was generous, cruel, or brilliant, but his musings on the subject were cut off by his shock when he felt someone touch him on the hand. Instinctively he flinched, before looking across at Kaori Daikoku, his new -"and only"- fiancée.

He'd naturally seen her when he was spying on the race, but this was the first real look he'd taken at her since that brief moment when he and Soun had caught up to Akane to give her some "encouragement". She wasn't a bad looking girl; waist length brown hair worn loose and blue-steel eyes (kind of like his own- and where the hell had **that** thought come from?), toned body, definitely more skilled than Akane. He snapped back to reality when he realized she'd been speaking.

"Um, sorry, what was that?" He asked.

"I said, I'm sorry you had to see such an ugly scene." Kaori replied calmly. "I was really hoping to make a good impression on you, I even wore that kimono for you, and then I had to get into a fight with that other girl. Completely ruined the effect I was trying to make. Not that she would have cared, little brute that she was- it must have been simply terrible to put up with someone with such a violent temper, Ranma."

"Uh, yeah." Ranma answered absently. Then something caught his attention. "Wait a minute; you mean it was your idea to show up in a wedding kimono and have your father do all the talking for you?" He asked incredulously.

"Of course! What, did you think it was my idea?" Kaori's father asked from the front seat. When Ranma looked down at his feet and murmured in embarrassment, the big-eared dwarfish man laughed heartily. "Bless me, no, Ranma my boy- I've never been that formal except when making business deals. And I'm certainly not foolish enough to think I could ever order my daughter to humiliate herself in such a fashion- not that I would. She's the heir to the Daikoku school, after all, and that fire in her spirit is the mark of a true champion. With you as her husband, the two of you will go far." He continued proudly.

"Uh thanks. Say, where are we heading anyway?" Mister Daikoku smiled as the car turned a corner.

"We're heading to the family home, in Kyoto."

Ranma blinked, before he glanced out the back window to see that yes, they had just left Nerima. While Ranma felt a pang of sorrow over leaving a place that had quickly become something of a home to him, he also felt a great deal of relief and the realization that he never had to worry about Genma making his life a mess. After all, how the heck was he going to get to Kyoto?

"Oh and Ranma?" Ranma blinked out of his thoughts and turned to Mister Daikoku, "Since you're engaged to my daughter, feel free to call me Dad, or if you want to be a bit more formal, call me Hiashi."

Ranma blinked, before he smiled slightly and bowed in his seat, "Thanks, Hiashi." No sense calling him dad just yet, he was only engaged after all.

After a few hours of driving, during which time Ranma took the opportunity to get some sleep, the car finally reached Kyoto and Kaori woke Ranma up from his slumber, the teen blinking with a small yawn as the car came to a halt and he got out and took a look at the house in front of him. It was clearly expensive, the size and the fact it had three floors told him that much; and the architecture was fairly modern, a mixture of Japanese and Western styles.

The inside was another clear indicator that the Daikoku's, while not rich, were fairly well off. The hardwood flooring, if he was correct in looking at it, was dark-brown stained Burma teak, and it made for a sharp contrast to the warm colors he could see in the living room and dining room, soft hues of orange in a paint style he didn't recognize, but could say was artistic. As Ranma wandered around the house, familiarizing himself with the layout, he found himself becoming more and more comfortable and a thought entered his head 'Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.'

"Ranma?" He turned to see Kaori poke her head around a corner, "Ah, there you are. Dad says that dinner's ready." He smiled as he followed after the girl.

Dinner passed quickly, the food was good and the conversation was interesting as Ranma learnt about the Daikoku family art and how it worked to enhance their business before Hiashi nodded to Kaori, who got up and left the table as he turned to Ranma.

"I'll show you to the living bathroom; while you're getting cleaned up, Kaori will prepare a spare room for you."

"…Closest bathroom?" Ranma asked in some disbelief; even the Tendo Dojo, large as it was, had only the one.

Hiashi Daikoku nodded before replying. "Yes, we have two bathrooms- one for us, and now for you, the other is on the ground level so people can wash off after using the training hall."

Curiosity piqued, but figuring he'd get to see it soon enough, Ranma followed his new father-in-law to the bathroom, while Kaori set off down another hallway. Taking a moment to marvel at the decor of the bathroom, Ranma set about the normal rituals. He pulled off his clothes and set the tub to filling with hot water. Once it was full, he sat down and began to fill a bath pail with cold water, in order to wash the worst of the dirt off of himself before he actually got into the tub. Once it was full, though, Ranma couldn't help but allow his mind to wander as he fully digested the events of the day.

"Well, this is a fine mess." He mused to himself. "Who'd've thought the old man would make a second engagement like that? He's such a fanatic about the whole Tendo arrangement that I wouldn't have ever thought he'd pull such a stupid stunt. ...So, am I really no longer engaged to Akane? It's kind of hard to take in- the old men were so insistent that we were gonna get married. But, well, pop did get the 'dowry' -if you can call it that- and Mr. Tendo did agree to step down if Akane lost that race... so, I guess Kaori is my fiancee now. Gah, what am I worrying over this for? None of it's **my** fault- I didn't make the promise- to either parent, it wasn't my responsibility to train Akane to be a martial artist, I wasn't the one who should have thought about the possibility Kaori might be a martial artist herself, and it's certainly not **my** fault that she was better than Akane! So what am I worrying about?" He asked aloud.

"Ranma? Who are you talking to?"

Ranma reacted with all of his usual aplomb to a girl speaking from behind him while he was naked and had previously believed himself to be alone. In other words, he screamed like a girl and shot into the corner, clutching the bath pail as an impromptu cover... something that he barely had a moment to realize, and regret, before the cold water splashed all over his front, activating his Jusenkyo curse and leaving him a naked girl, staring at an equally naked and now obviously dumbstruck Kaori Daikoku.

They stared at each other in silence, the seconds ticking by like eternities. In the depths of his/her head, Ranma was currently cursing up a blue streak. S/he had dreaded this moment more than any other, had desperately wanted to avoid revealing his curse to the Daikokus at all, but certainly in a better way than this! This was just like with the Tendos- and look how they had reacted!

While Ranma waited, Kaori was flabbergasted. Her new fiancé, a rather tasty boy (from what she had managed to see of him without any clothes on) had just turned into a girl. Possibly a very dishy girl, but Kaori wouldn't know anything about that- despite what those crude boys at the local school insinuated, her bread **wasn't** buttered that side. How on earth was this possible? As her eyes went down her transformed fiancé's body, she couldn't help but stop for a moment as one particular feature of his new body came into light... Were his breasts bigger than her own were? That wasn't fair! It should be noted here that, while a pretty girl and a skilled martial artist, Kaori Daikoku's build wasn't exactly what most people would call "generous", which was a bit of a sensitive spot with her. Shaking the distractions away, she refocused on the important problem.

"What's going on, Ranma?" She said, calmly but firmly. There was no response from the boy-turned-girl in the pail. "Ranma..." Kaori said, her tone making it perfectly clear that she wanted answers, and now.

Ranma sighed. "It's... a long story. Can we get your father? I really don't want to do this more than once."

"Sure. But can you put your clothes on first?" Kaori asked.

A couple of minutes later, Ranma-chan and Kaori were sitting in front of one very bemused Hiashi Daikoku, who was still staring in bewilderment at his 'son-in-law' turned "daughter-in-law". Ranma had revealed that her transformation was a magical curse, and Kaori was the first to speak up in the wake of that revelation.

"So, where did you get this curse anyway?" She asked. Inwardly, she flinched at that question. 'Smooth move, girl; could you possibly say anything stupider?'

'It's not my fault; he could have mentioned this earlier!' She defended herself.

'Oh, and how was he supposed to bring up something like this, huh?' Her subconscious snidely replied. Before she could continue to argue with herself, Ranma spoke up.

"I got it when my stupid old man dragged me to this place called Jusenkyo." The boy-turned-girl began. At this, Mr. Daikoku suddenly looked thoughtful.

"Jusenkyo? As in, the valley of cursed springs in the Byankala mountains? Cold water activates the curse, hot water deactivates it, and you turn into whatever drowned in the spring you fell into?"

Both girls were staring at him, visibly gobsmacked. Ranma was the first to regain her voice. "H-how... how did you know that?" She blurted.

"I have a rival in China, we like to talk about things when we meet." Hiashi replied, brushing off Ranma's confusion.

"So... is there a cure?" Kaori blurted, then promptly flushed with embarrassment. 'Smooth move; way to make your fiancé feel like a freak!'

Unbeknownst to Kaori, her words didn't have quite the negative effect on Ranma's psyche that she feared, given that Ranma himself greatly hated his curse and wanted to be rid of it more than anything. If s/he had been able to hear Kaori's guilt over her statement, though, s/he would have been very touched.

"Simple enough; all you have to do is to go back to Jusenkyo and take a swim in the spring of the creature you really are- in Ranma's case, the Spring of Drowned Man, right?"

Ranma-chan nodded her head in agreement.

"Well, then. This was a bit of a surprise, but I can see why you didn't want to talk about it. Go and finish your bath, Ranma; we'll talk about this in the morning." Hiashi declared.

Ranma woke up the next morning to be being gently shaken and hearing Kaori's voice as he blearily opened his eyes to see the girl sitting on his bed, "Ranma, dad wants to speak to you."

Ranma blinked, "Kaori? Didn't expect you to be up this early." And it was early, even for Ranma as Kaori smiled.

"My school is pretty close by, so I have to wake up really early to train before I get ready for breakfast and school. I'll be waiting outside to the take you to dad okay?" Ranma nodded as Kaori left, allowing Ranma to get up and get dressed to see what this was all about.

The training room was at the back of the house and was far larger than the dojo, and it became clear as Ranma goggled at what appeared to be some manner of obstacle, no scratch that, it was an assault course, a giant military-looking place that covered most of the room and stretched upwards towards the ceiling as Hiashi smiled at Ranma.

"Like what you see son? Come, have a seat and I'll explain why I wanted you to see this." He patted a bench as Kaori appeared in a tank top and shorts with her hair tied back and started running towards the start of the course as Hiashi spoke.

"Now, as you well know, Kaori and before she took over the family art, myself, practice a martial art is designed to allow a take-away delivery person to not only deliver food on time, even earlier than on time for that matter, but also to protect the food against rivals, as you likely saw in the race at some point. This room is built to provide the perfect environment to perfect the skills needed to master Take-Out Martial Arts."

Hiashi nodded at Kaori, who was easily evading marbles on strings, boxing gloves on hydraulic rams and swing padded arms and moving poles, her eyes constantly on the move, "You need to be fully aware of the environment and concentrating full time, and I'm not talking about sensing a rival delivery person. Cars, pedestrians, spilled materials such as water, oil and the like, all of these must be detected and avoided long before you reach them while looking for the fastest and easiest route to the delivery location."

Ranma nodded, it made sense to him as Hiashi continued, "Then there is fighting off rivals, who's goal will not be to defeat you, but rather to make you fail the delivery, the more time you take in the delivery is more time the customer has to wait, and it impacts on our reputation as a business, which loses money because of it."

Kaori was now moving along the top of the course, expertly balancing on wires and cables as she made her way to the finish, the box in her hand perfectly balanced as Hiashi nodded at her while handing Ranma a tennis ball, "And to make the next bit clearer, throw that tennis ball at Kaori, as hard and as fast as you can throw it at the take-out box."

Ranma shrugged and cocked his arm back before letting the ball loose, the orb now a fuzzy green comet that streaked towards the box, and without even glancing in their direction, Kaori twisted the box and spun, kicking the ball back to strike in between the two, the tennis ball firmly planted in the metal bench as Hiashi nodded, "And finally, protecting the delivery with such skill that it becomes second-nature and instinct as the delivery person maneuvers through the chaotic and constantly changing urban environment."

Ranma could only nod, eyes still fixed on the tennis ball as a wire barrier suddenly sprang up in front of Kaori and she simply began moving to bypass it as Hiashi turned to face Ranma fully. "And here is the deal. I know that it is an insult for a martial artist to give up their core style and I will not ask you to abandon the Anything Goes, but I have a deal for you regarding your curse." Now Ranma's attention was fully on him as Hiashi motioned to the course.

"If you can master the Daikoku-style Take-Away Martial Art and show that you have mastered it in a delivery, I will pay for a ticket to China so that you may be cured." He noted the look on Ranma's face. "So, do we have a deal?"

Ranma shook the offered hand and stood up to take a good look at the course. He took in the rails that allowed the course to change, likely beneath the user's feet, the hydraulics to create shaky ground, the sheer overall height of the course and the potential for anything to come out and mess up a practice run.

It was a course that epitomized using your head as quickly as possible while moving as quickly as possible with a fragile load. To any other, it seemed near impossible as Kaori finished the course and with a hiss, the layout began to change to a more open configuration, one that was likely easier but would present a challenge to a first timer.

Hiashi spoke up, "See how you do just trying to get through the course, so you have a baseline of performance to work with. I warn you though, it's quite challenging the first time around."

Ranma smiled, if there was one thing Ranma Saotome enjoyed, it was a challenge.

"Bring it on."

Ranma-Prime pulled back from the immersion viewing and leaned back with a noise of mild surprise; he hadn't really expected the Daikokus to be that serious about their art but when you thought about it, it made perfect sense.

"A martial art designed to make take-out deliveries faster, which means that you get repeat business from the customers and they tell their friends, and that means more profit. Damn, now that's a way to make money, better than how pops did it."

Truth be told, Genma didn't actually steal things that often, but he was always up for a quick buck at some point, and Ranma was always the fall guy who had to clean up more often than not.

"Looks like they're going to get along just fine. Hmm, tempting to just leave it at this but I think I'll skip forward a bit, see what sort of problems these two will have to deal with like when I was checking those sections with Ukyo." He smirked to himself, "Gotta love highlight reels."

Later that morning, Ranma was following Kaori to the school she attended, and which he likewise would be attending- come to think of it, just what were the odds that **both** sets of 'fathers in law' would manage to arrange for him to attend the same school as their daughter in under a day? He quickly dismissed it; there was something more important that he had to ask Kaori, who was currently running along the fence on the other side of the road and easily keep pace with him (though she might have stated that **he** was keeping pace with **her**).

"Hey, Kaori? Just so I know, what sort of nutjobs do you have to deal with?" Ranma called.

The heir to the Daikoku school blinked in equal parts surprise and confusion. "What do you mean, Ranma?"

"Well, at Furinkan, when I started, about half the guys in school would attack Akane each morning, and then there was that moron Kuno." Ranma replied, shrugging in mid-step.

"...Why on earth would they attack her? And who's Kuno?" Kaori asked in confusion.

"Eh, something about her having to date the guy who managed to beat her. Kuno started the idea, and while the rest gave up, he wouldn't- he even started chasing my girl side, while still trying to get Akane to date him." Ranma replied.

Kaori screeched to a halt to throw an incredulous look at Ranma, who returned it levelly. Finally, she broke the silence. "...That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of! No, there's no one that crazy at my school- all you'll have to deal with are the normal problems. You know, quizzes, tests, that sort of junk."

Ranma wondered for a brief moment if maybe he should share with her just how erratic his schooling had been, due to the constraints of constantly roaming the country in search of new martial arts to learn. Then he decided against it and settled for simply following her as she took off in the right direction again.

The mirror then showed a scene a few days later, with the pair sitting at the kitchen table going over something that Ranma swore would be the bane of his existence; math homework.

"Gah! This is doing my head in; what sick bastard thought up Algebra in the first place?"

From her seat where she could help out Ranma with his problems, Kaori shrugged as she glanced at Ranma's work and pointed out corrections.

"No idea, I hate Algebra myself. But you have to have good groundings in basic math and some financial equations if you want to get anywhere in the business world, and trigonometry, working out angles and all that, is pretty helpful for a martial artist who has to move around a lot like Takeout martial artists, the best have to be able to work out complicated trig problems in their head as it relates to finding the fastest way to the customer."

Ranma nodded with a sour look as he made the corrections, "Still doesn't mean I like it though."

Kaori smiled, "No-one does Ranma, no-one does."

_Later still…_

Ranma looked at the thing Kaori was holding as though it was a dead rat. "No. Uh ah, no way, no how- you are not sticking me in that thing."

Kaori sighed in exasperation; while Ranma was a fairly quiet and easygoing guy most of the time, he could really be annoying when he get stubborn. "It's just an apron. My father wears one himself when he has to cook. And *don't* let the next thing out of your mouth be something like 'guys don't cook' or anything like that- my father cooks, there are plenty of men who cook, hell, your own father probably cooked when you were training with him." She snapped.

"...Usually when he couldn't steal pre-cooked food." Ranma muttered to himself. He still made no move to take the apron from Kaori, though. "And why do I have to learn to cook anyway? I thought our job was just getting the food to the delivery place on time."

Again, Kaori sighed. "We just have to. So stop arguing and put the apron on." At that moment, an idea popped into her head and she gave a wicked grin; if there was one thing she'd learned about Ranma, it was that his ego was quite easy to set off. "Unless, of course, you're saying that this is beyond you."

"...What?" Ranma replied in a dull tone.

"You know, it's alright if you can't cook; everyone has to start out somewhere. I'm sure we can teach you how to boil water in, oh, a week?" Kaori said airily, ignoring Ranma's reaction and fighting the urge to laugh. As much as she had grown to like Ranma since she'd actually gotten to know him, teasing him could be just as much fun as sparring- so long as he didn't get sulky, anyway. That just left him angry, and her feeling guilty.

Ranma fumed, but ultimately couldn't deny the urge to rise up to her challenge. Grimly reaching out, he took the apron and tied it around his waist with all the solemnity of a samurai donning his battle armor. Truth be told, he wasn't bad at cooking, and he actually kind of liked doing so... up until he'd gotten his curse. Since then, he'd refused to cook unless forced to do so.

The next scene showed Ranma and Kaori out- and given that neither was wearing formal clothes, or carrying a thermal box, or sparring, Ranma-Prime guessed it was a date. It seemed to be going fairly well; especially seeing as how nobody had popped up to interfere. Then, as if summoned by Ranma-prime's casual thoughts, Ryoga promptly wandered into the scene...

"Ranma! How dare you cheat on Akane with some strange girl!" Bellowed the scruffy looking boy, earning a mixture of curiosity and anger from Kaori and a dull groan from the boy at her side. Not taking her eye off of the umbrella-waving vagrant, she quickly spoke to Ranma in a quiet tone, aiming to avoid letting this obvious lunatic hear her and promptly go berserk.

"You know this weirdo, Ranma?"

"His name's Ryoga, and he's a major pain in the ass. Give me a minute; I'll take care of him and we'll pick up where we left off, all right? I want to go see that new movie in the theatres."

"Why do you get to fight him? I'm no damsel in distress." Kaori griped, forgetting about her previous decisions in her annoyance.

"Did I say anything like that?" Ranma asked, putting on a theatrical "hurt" air. "You took care of the last challenger- Ryoga's my rival, so I get dibs on him!"

"I am not your rival! I am your executioner, Ranma!" Ryoga screamed in fury, charging at both of them indiscriminately. Both teens promptly sprang apart, Ryoga naturally giving chase to the male half of the duo. To Ryoga's great annoyance, Ranma didn't bother to strike back, instead leading him around the square and effortlessly dodging each of Ryoga's blows.

"Damn it, stay still!" Ryoga roared in fury as his umbrella missed Ranma's head yet again "...When did you get so fast anyway?" He complained.

"I haven't. You've gotten slower." Ranma replied instantly.

His reward was an incoherent bellow of fury before Ryoga hurled himself forward in a powerful tackle, only for Ranma to neatly step aside and leave Ryoga to realize he was throwing himself as a fountain. Now, while Ryoga wasn't Ranma's superior, he was as close to Ranma's equal as any of the martial artists Ranma had fought so far was, and so it was possible he could have stopped himself short. He never got a chance to find out, however, as Ranma's roundhouse kick promptly landed squarely on the back of his head and, once again, Ryoga found himself getting up close and personal with cold water. He floundered angrily in the basin for a few moments, then felt himself being lifted out by his bandanna. He squealed in indignation and outrage; how dare Ranma use his curse to win a fight! That was just cheap, even for him!

"Listen, pigboy; Akane and I aren't engaged anymore, haven't been for a couple of weeks now, so get off my back! I'd tell you not to bother coming back here, but seeing as you can't find your own ass with both hands and a road map, I'll save my breath. Now buzz off!" Ranma punctuated this last part by hurling "P-chan" skyward with all of his strength, the angry piglet's squeal splitting the air as he vanished into the horizon. Melodramatically dusting his hands off, Ranma turned back to Kaori with a grin. "Now, where we were?" He asked.

"We were going to spend some nice, quiet time at the library." Kaori replied instantly.

"What! Come on, what about that movie?" Ranma asked.

"Hey, you got to fight that guy on your own, I get to choose where we date." Kaori teasingly replied.

As the two began walking off, Ranma-Prime could easily see that while they were arguing, it was far more playful than any fight he had ever had with Akane and felt a little jealous before returned his attention to the flitting of time and then came to focus on what was obviously an important moment, and Ranma saw why.

Ukyo finally found him, apparently through some manner of 'food martial artist' grapevine, and had appeared as Hiashi was meeting with an important client and started spouting off her grievances, while Ranma tried to explain the situation, Kaori settled for trying to keep the two calm.

Finally, it came down to a challenge, a Martial Arts Takeout challenge actually as the client saw this as an opportunity to see the famous Daikoku family business in action, a Martial Arts Takeout race going from the Daikoku house to the client's house on the other side of the city.

The mirror zoomed in at the mid-point of the race, during rush hour, the most dangerous and complicated part of the day for a delivery.

"Give it up Ranma, you're going down!" Ranma winced at the anger in his old friend's voice as she took the lead. It was still a point of contention for him mentally, how the heck was Ranma supposed to know that Ukyo was actually a girl?

Still, he had to focus. This was rush hour and unless he wanted to become some bizarre road painting from all the cars, he had to concentrate. His eyes flicked for a good route and he spotted an alleyway and took it, expertly going over the various debris, garbage, and even a homeless person or two before he leapt up to an air-conditioning unit to bound over a wall and land on the other side, expertly crossing the road before his danger sense suddenly flare and he whirled to avoid a powerful blast of gunpowder and...tempura?

"A booby trap..." Ranma continued running, ignoring the slight sting from the gunpowder, Ukyo was playing hardball, which was fine since he could do that as well.

Soon, his old friend came into view and he immediately got to work, focused on getting in at least one good hit to slow Ukyo down and the technique came to him as he got into range, the client's home now in sight as Ranma struck.

Ranma-Prime winced at seeing his counterpart expertly lasso and then tie-up Ukyo, though he thankfully place her out of danger from passing traffic before going on to win the challenge.

Ukyo left after that, likely to beat down Genma for his deception now that she was ready to listen to reason from Ranma, and after the client happily signed the deal with the Daikokus, they went home to celebrate, but not before Hiashi took Ranma to the side.

"You did exceptionally well in that battle, Ranma; I'm very proud of you." He said, beaming a wide grin.

Ranma flushed, unused to being praised for his skills, and tried to brush it off. The head of the Daikoku family ignored him and continued.

"I know it couldn't have been easy to fight an old friend of yours, but you still performed exceptionally well. I'm proud to call you my son and heir. And speaking of which... I think it's time that you and Kaori took a vacation to get to know each other better- sort of a pre-wedding honeymoon. I hear that China is very lovely at this time of year."

Ranma's eyes opened wide as Hiashi, his smile somehow widening, held up two airplane tickets.

"... Can you explain something to me?" Ranma-prime asked Abe as he pulled out of the Eye. "Why is it just about every timeline I've seen where I haven't gotten together with Akane is one where I've gotten cured of my curse?"

"Because every other girl you've hooked up with is either used to living on the road, rich enough to pay for airfare, or lives in China. Akane is none of those things, and your father and hers have no intention of letting you go off to China on your own." Abe replied smoothly.

Ranma-prime gave him a long, hard look, then shook his head and turned back to the Eye. This timeline looked fairly set; time to find another...

_Well, all things must end, and so too this chapter. Below are the remaining oneshots to vote for- quite a few tied votes, so I'll really need readers to vote from now on, okay? Just to let folks know, I decided to remove the "Shampoo figured out Ranma wasn't really a girl instead of leaving for China" oneshot because, as of now, I can't think of a way to handle it without making it just a rip off of the "Ranma kissed Shampoo back" oneshot. And, if people are curious, the "Nabiki, Ranma's New Fiancée" oneshot isn't a Ranma/Nabiki- I've been thinking of trying my hand at another Ranma/OC fanfiction for that one. Also, the "Love Sakura-Mochi" oneshot will be a Ranma/Natsume oneshot and, despite appearances, the "Curse of Maomolin" oneshot will __**not**__ be a Ranma/Shampoo fanfiction- though I admit I'm not sure which girl to pair him with for that one just yet._

_What If…_

_Ranma told Shampoo he loved her during the Reversal Jewel?_

_Votes: 17_

_  
Ukyo managed to actually get her "talk" with Ranma during the Great Girly-Girl Gambit episode?_

_Votes: 15_

_When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, they replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride?_

_Votes: 10_

_Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second?_

_Votes: 10_

_Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki?_

_Votes: 10_

_When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face?_

_Votes: 9_

_  
Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo?_

_Votes: 9_

_  
Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time?_

_Votes: 9_

_Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?_

_Votes: 8_

_Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima?_

_Votes: 8_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"?_

_Votes: 7_

_Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer?_

_Votes: 7_


	17. Friends Forever

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** at long, long last, we return from hiatus. I apologize for the unanticipated delay in bringing this chapter up; all I can say is that my Easter holiday lasted longer than planned. Still, I'm back now so this should be updated more regularly.

GreyMonkey; thank you many times for your excellent suggestion! May your namesake's fur ever be devoid of fleas!

Digital Dragon Productions; a very intriguing suggestion… yes, very intriguing indeed. I probably won't use it as-is, mainly because I know nothing about Samurai Showdown, but the basics you suggest sound like a very viable story indeed. Although… would it really work as a oneshot? Perhaps I should remove the "Maomolin's plan succeeded" oneshot from the voting list and reserve that for a serial of its own…

To all who've been wondering about the "real story"; this, "Another Rainy Day in Nerima", doesn't really have a real story to it, beyond "Ranma-Prime's" learning experiences as he observes the various oneshot realities. When this story finishes, Ranma will simply leave the Wandering Shop and return to the Tendo Dojo… which is when the sequel, "Chasing the Rainbow", will begin. That will be the real story, of Ranma attempting to change his life in response to what he's learned through this anthology.

Chapter 15: Friends Forever

"Ranma! No fair sneaking around behind our backs! Yeah, Ukyo's ours, you jerk!"

These and similar comments echoed from the approaching mob of rabid, lust-crazed boys. Ranma, naturally, did not want to put up with this and, saying something to Ukyo that she didn't register, turned to flee. Ukyo, however, remained right where she was, her rage at the frustration of her wasted efforts for the day boiling over. How dare these idiots ruin things when she finally had Ranma willing to hear out what she had to say! And how dare they claim that they had any right to approach her! She was **Ranma's** fiancée, she would date nobody but him! Her aura suddenly roared into life, something few Nerimites had ever seen from her, and she grabbed her ever-present battle spatula and rocketed towards the approaching boys with a roar of rage that would have impressed Akane. Many of the boys who had been chasing after her were veterans of the "Hentai Horde", as the Furinkan girls called it, and these boys had a sudden feeling of mingled imminent doom and déjà vu as Ukyo approached with relentless speed and a mad gleam in her eye.

Ranma, meanwhile, had realized that Ukyo was not at his side and whirled around to go back for... only to pull to a halt as he saw what was happening. Naturally, he decided to stay well back, wincing occasionally in some instinctual level of sympathy as the boys currently flying in all directions slammed into walls, landed head-first in trash barrels, or flopped painfully over convenient tree branches. Within a few minutes, the one-sided massacre was over and a still-blazing Ukyo stood, panting heavily, amidst a swarm of groaning and unconscious guys.

"Alright, now listen up ya jackasses! Ranma is **my fiancé!** I ain't interested in **anyone** 'cept him! **Any** of ya who thinks I'm gonna just walk away and date ya, grow a brain right damn **now**, ya hear?! Don't **ever** let me catch ya trying to mess things up for me again, hear?"

Despite himself, Ranma couldn't help but give an appreciative whistle; Ukyo was generally the most passive of his fiancées in terms of martial arts, so he rarely saw her cut loose- especially against someone other than himself. Unfortunately, his whistle attracted Ukyo's attention- not a good move, considering she was so hyped up on rage that she found herself delivering her original "discussion" in terms more akin to a grade-A tongue lashing...

"And where the hell do you get off thinking that just because I'm your fiancée, you can treat me like a pile of crap!" She held up her hand then, "I know, you just want to be friends, you don't want to have to deal with all this marriage stuff, but goddammit all, even as friend you treat me with about as much respect as a leper!"

Ranma winced as Ukyo continued, clearly on a roll, "You say I'm a friend, well what the hell kind of friend just simply takes in a relationship? Answer: not a very good one. You don't give a damn about me, all you care about is some free food and you don't even think about the fact that if I was really your friend, you'd do something for me once in a while! Don't you ever want to just hang out? Talk? Hell, even spar? No, heaven forbid that you do anything with me when you're not hungry! Because that's all it comes down to with us, I'm always making food if I want to get you even remotely interested in doing something with me!"

She turned around, "You know what? Screw you Ranma, I'm going home, I'll see you later." With that, Ukyo stormed off, the recovering boys giving her a wide berth as best that they could.

_Meanwhile, in another place and time..._

_"...She's got a point." Ranma-prime finally admitted. Abe made no comment about how this wasn't the first time Ranma had seen one of his other selves get their behavior called out. "...I really feel like a jerk now. I'm starting to wish I'd never come this way."_

_"What's worse? To continue as you have, making the inevitable blow up all the worse when it does happen? Or to see it now and start doing something about it?" Abe commented._

_"You got a point. Alright, play on, Sam." Ranma-prime said, whereupon he got a definite feeling of confusion from the magical mirror. "If I've gotta do this myself, then I may as well see how he handles it. Saves me taking all the lumps I'd get otherwise." He grumbled this last part, then resumed staring into the mirror..._

Ranma inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly. The words Ukyo had spoken to him yesterday had burned in his mind all day, like a fiery hook thrust into his brain, distracting him from Akane and the fathers' suspicious stares as well as Nabiki's barbed insinuations. Those words had forced him to take a long, hard look at his memories, and he had to admit that he had not been treating Ukyo very well, even if he only wanted them to be friends. That pained him, as Ukyo had been the very best of his few friends during his childhood, and the realization that he was basically mocking what they had shared as kids had been like a solid punch in the proverbial guts. Finally, he had made up his mind: he wanted to make things up with her; he wanted them to go back to being friends like they used to be. He knew there was every chance that she would take this the wrong way, as proof that he was supporting her claim of engagement, but he resolved to take the chance. He had precious few friends as it was; the last thing he wanted was to lose one. Steeling himself, he knocked on the door of Ukyo's shop...

Ukyo looked up as she was setting up the grill and saw Ranma at the door, a serious expression on his face as her own expression soured slightly and she headed over to undo the lock, "I swear, if he's just here to get a jump on the morning rush...pow." As she muttered those words, Ukyo undid the locks and opened the door with a calm expression.

"If you're here for a meal Ranchan, I'd like you to pay this time 'round."

"That's not why I'm here!" Ranma quickly interjected. He figured she'd still be upset from yesterday but, the whole "chasing him for a decade and dressed in drag" thing aside, she'd always been fairly quick to get over her anger. Well, quick compared to Akane or Ryoga, anyway.

Ukyo grimaced, before deciding that if he wasn't here for a meal, it had to be at least half-way decent, "Get in, I'm not supposed to open for another ten minutes anyway, that'll give you time to talk. That is why you're here if it ain't for food isn't it?

Ranma quickly pushed into the shop, lest Ukyo change her mind and shut him out. He paused for a few seconds, trying to figure out how, precisely, to say what he wanted to say, but then took a good look at Ukyo's expression and simply blurted out what came to his head, his usual choice of action in this kind of situation. The track record wasn't good, but at least it succeeded sometimes.

"I've been thinking about what you said yesterday, and, well, I gotta admit that you've got a point with what you were sayin'..."

Ukyo felt an eyebrow rise in surprise, her still-smoldering anger suddenly fizzling from her shock as Ranma's words registered in her mind, "Really?" She asked, more on autopilot than anything, as her mind was currently preoccupied with examining this most unusual set of events. Ranma actually thought about what she had said yesterday? Interesting.

"Yeah, I did. I... I felt bad, knowing that I've been treatin' you like that. You were always my best friend when we were kids an', well, I wanna still be friends. So... forgive me?" Ranma asked, unable to think of any more articulate way to express what he was feeling. He was never really good at opening up to people.

Ukyo's face was expressionless, but inside she was gobsmacked. How the hell did this happen from her...shouting...at him and pretty much laying everything in the bluntest way possible! Of course, how could she have been so stupid, Ranma registered subtlety as easily as a brick can fly, so if she just came out and just used the bluntest terms possible to get her point across, Ranma would register it and respond.

Buoyed by her inadvertent success, Ukyo allowed herself to smile slightly, "Hell Ranchan, I could never stay mad at you. But don't think you're off the hook, you say you still wanna be friends with me, you gotta show me that you're serious. You got that?"

"Sure thing, Ucchan. So, you got anything planned for today? Maybe we could hang out, like we used to?" Ranma said happily. This was working much better than he'd dared to hope- why, she hadn't even mentioned the engagement!

_"Lucky bastard. I hope things work as well for me when I pull that stuff."_

Ukyo huffed as the game over title flashed in front of the screen of the arcade machine. Ranma made the mistake of sniggering, prompting a sarcastic comment from Ukyo. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up mister Master of Fighting, I seem to recall the second opponent on Street Fighter whipping your ass pretty good." Ranma coughed with a slight blush as Ukyo turned away from Raiden II.

The two had gone to an arcade for the day, deciding to take advantage of something 'normal' for once and something important had made itself known, they both were not arcade wizards in the least as Ranma checked the number of game tokens he had left.

The tally was rather disappointing. Looking around for something that might be better for them to try, Ranma's eyes lit up as he spotted a dance off game that was currently unoccupied. Tapping Ukyo on the shoulder, he gestured over to it with his thumb.

"Care to try your luck against me on that?" He asked.

Ukyo nodded with a sly grin, "All right then Ranchan, but don't think that just because you can turn into a girl, that means you're as graceful as the real deal."

"I don't need to be a girl- in fact, I bet I'm better at dancing than you. After all, you spent your life faking that you were a guy- where did you learn about grace and poise?" Ranma teased back, a grin on his face aiming (he hoped) to take the sting out of it and prove he was just kidding.

Ukyo's return grin now had a feral edge to it, "Well then Ranchan, we're about to find out." With that the two slipped in their tokens and Ukyo stretched slightly, "Let's cut out the middle man here." She slapped the random song option and turned to Ranma, "Best two out of three wins."

Ranma was confident that he would win; after all, while it was true that he'd never been formally trained to dance, what was it but putting your feet in precise spots at great speed? With the Saotome School's emphasis on evasion, and specialization in aerial combat and maneuverability, he was confident in being the most sure-footed and agile of all the teen martial artists in Nerima.

Ukyo on the other hand, knew that all she had to do was just keep up with the beat, and the rest would fall into place. With that thought in mind, she placed her feet apart slightly and got ready for the song to start.

As the song started, the two didn't have time to think, only react as the directional arrows came fast and thick and the pair realized that Ukyo had inadvertently picked the hardest song to dance to.

Halfway through, they had ceased trying to keep up and were flailing slightly, trying to keep up with the rapid pace.

By the end of it, they had only completed it by the figurative skin of their teeth and were both panting slightly. Then Ukyo grinned, "I win."

Ranma grinned as well. "Nah, pretty sure that was me."

Ukyo looked up at him as she got her breath back. "Round two?"

Ranma simply slid another token in. "This time, I'm picking the song."

_"So, Ukyo likes that game too? Hmm... have to remember that... I wonder if Shampoo feels the same way, too? Best not to bring that up with Akane, though; she never likes it when I remind her that she's clumsier than I am."_

Ranma was not feeling too bright; he had just inadvertently wrecked some important –and, most importantly, expensive- ingredients that Ukyo had ordered in order to try a new okonomiyaki that she was planning on putting on her menu. He winced, partially from the anger in Ukyo's expression, mostly in anticipation of the pain of receiving her trusty battle spatula to the head. Still, he remained where he was; allowing himself to be hit in retribution for having done something wrong had always worked before.

Ukyo huffed loudly in her rage, drawing back her spatula in preparation for a blow; how could he be so stupid, so inconsiderate, so...! She was just about to strike, when a thought from the back of her mind pulled her to a halt. If there was any time to see if her hypothesis was correct, then this was it. Steeling herself for the possibility of rejection due to her actions, Ukyo, with visible strain, put her spatula down and proceeded to lay into her fiancé verbally, rather than physically.

"Dammit Ranchan, do you have any idea how much that stuff cost? I told you to leave them alone because I needed them for an important recipe! Dammit, that was a week's worth of preparation gone down the drain thanks to you. Next time, could you please just listen to me when I tell you to leave something alone for once?"

This was it; she did her part, now to see what would be the result.

Two emotions were currently fighting for dominance in Ranma's mind. The first was surprise that Ukyo had simply yelled at him and gone into why she hadn't wanted him to touch the ingredients in the first place- normally, any of the girls who got mad vented solely by simply hitting Ranma. The second was guilt; he hadn't meant to ruin her ingredients, especially seeing as how he now knew they were so important. In the end, guilt won and he stared down at the floor sheepishly.

"Sorry, Ukyo. I'll leave them alone next time." He promised.

Ukyo nearly let her angry expression slip as her mind froze in shock before it seemed like a chorus of angels was singing down on her newfound revelation. It worked! Sweet Hallelujah, it worked! He didn't try to argue back at her! That did it, she was going to lay into every time Ranma did something stupid from now on!

Clearing her throat and nodding with her eyes closed, Ukyo spoke, "All right, I guess I can forgive you this time. But just in case you forget!" She fixed a glare at him, "You do that again, and you're going to be paying, in cash, for your Okonomiyaki until you pay back the cost of the ingredients. Got that?"

Ranma winced internally, but otherwise he was happy- Ukyo had calmed down, and without even hitting him! She hadn't even yelled at him that loudly! He pulled off a mock salute in his joy. "Clear as crystal, Ucchan!"

Ukyo allowed herself a smile, not just at Ranma's smile, but at the fact that she had not only a way to help her Ranchan realize his mistakes, but she also had the most clear-cut advantage over the other girls, especially that brat Akane and that bimbo Shampoo! She started giggling, before laughing as the mood lightened.

"_Well, that wasn't any great help to me, now was it?"_

Ranma twisted his head aside negligently, allowing Ukyo's fist to whistle past, then casually leapt upwards and tucked his legs under himself as Ukyo tried to knock him off his feet with a sweeping kick. He kept his mouth shut, knowing from past experience with Akane that it generally made things worse, but in his heart he just knew that an explosion was inevitable. Everyone was jealous of his prowess.

Ukyo, for her part, was impressed by Ranma's skill and a little annoyed that she wasn't keeping up all that well, and finally couldn't help voicing it as Ranma landed out of reach, "Holy crap Ranchan! You must have been holding back that one time we fought, I can barely touch you." She got to her feet and grimaced slightly in annoyance, "Jeez, all of that training to beat you and I'm not up to your speed."

Ranma shrugged in affected nonchalance. "Well, you can say a lot of things about the old man, but his training does get results."

"If you live through it." Ukyo pointed out emphatically.

"Did I say he wasn't a lunatic?" Ranma asked rhetorically. "And it's not like I've been resting on my laurels since I got here. Still, if you put the effort into it, I'm sure you'll be able to give me a real fight soon enough." At those words he wanted to bite his tongue; why did he always say something that pissed people off when he wasn't even trying to do so?

Ukyo nodded with a grimace, "Yeah I know I'm not up to your level yet." Then she looked up with a determined expression, "But just you wait Ranchan, I'll get to your level, and then I'll give you a fight you'll never forget! That's a promise right there!"

Ranma's eyes widened in disbelief (she hadn't gotten upset at what he'd said?) and admiration. Despite himself, he couldn't help but think of how different things were when he bothered to spar with Akane; she always got ticked off and inevitably left to sulk when she had no choice but to admit to herself the fact that she wasn't Ranma's equal yet.

That was enough of a gap in concentration for Ukyo to slip in land a jab on Ranma's shoulder, "Hey, quit daydreaming Ranchan! I'm not that bad am I?" She giggled as she backed off and got into a new ready stance.

Ranma quickly focused back on the here-and-now, slipping into a fresh combat stance. He couldn't deny the grin that crept onto his face, and wouldn't have done so even if challenged; this was just like the good old days!

_"How happy. But Akane and pop and old man Tendo have got to find out about this sooner or later, don't they? And I just bet they aren't going to be so happy..."_

The door to the Tendo home slammed open as a fuming Akane stormed in, "That no-good, miserable bastard! How dare he start being all friendly with that hussy!" She growled slightly before flopping onto the couch and switching the TV on, grumbling all the while as Kasumi silently set down a drink and vanished back to her housework.

Of course, her angry shout had of course attracted the attention of Genma and Soun, who immediately knew what had set her off this time.

"What's that thoughtless son of mine done now?" Genma demanded, his voice very much betraying his feelings. He was so tired of Ranma's stubbornness and denial; why wouldn't the boy just do what he was told and marry Akane? The two clearly loved each other, after all.

Akane snarled slightly at the memory, "Nabiki told me that she saw Ranma and Ukyo acting all friendly after school and then she showed me photos of them together. They went to the arcade, they sparred together in an empty lot, even talking and laughing together! What about me? I'm his fiancée, why doesn't he ask me to go to the arcade or spar with him?" She folded her arms, muttering softly, "Stupid jerk, paying attention to that hussy instead of me."

"Saotome! Explain this!" Soun demanded, full of fatherly anger that Ranma was wounding his daughter's heart. Again.

"The girl must be blackmailing him or something!" Genma quickly replied. "You know that he only hangs out with Akane of his own free will." He went on, hoping to remind both Tendos of where Ranma's affections obviously truly lay. After all, if the other girls could only get Ranma to spend time with them if they bribed him first, while Ranma was all too happy to go to the pool or the ice rink or wherever with Akane when she asked, then surely that was proof that he truly loved Akane?

Akane 'hmmphed' at that, "Probably using food again, that jerk'll eat that hussy's okonomiyaki and that bimbo's noodles, but he won't touch anything I cook! I'm a perfectly good cook! What's wrong with what I make?"

Neither of the men could bring himself to answer there, leaving an awkward silence. Both had tasted Akane's culinary efforts in the past, and both of them privately found it every bit as repugnant as Ranma himself did. Of course, they wouldn't dare tell Akane that: far better to direct her to concentrating her attempts at food on him, and leaving him to suffer her wrath when he told her what he thought of it.

Akane finally had enough of the silence. "Forget it! Let's just get that jerk and make him stop hanging out with that hussy!"

This was a plan that both of the men agreed to at once; simple, direct, requiring a minimum of thought and effort, and unlikely to result in any real danger to themselves. Their sole change was to persuade Akane to wait until Ranma came home, rather than wasting time running around in search of him.

_"...Typical." Ranma-prime sneered. He'd honestly love to say that he was amazed at how petty and jealous Akane and the fathers were acting, but he wasn't. That was just the sort of boneheaded stunt they'd be willing to pull- he couldn't help but remember that time Akane had pretended to run away from home, sending everyone running around looking for her all night in a panic, while secretly hiding on the roof and watching their behavior with glee. It didn't come out often, but Akane could be a real brat sometimes. And thinking things through when it came to their own wants was not something any of the three (or, really, any Nerimite martial artist) was good at; if they had stopped and thought about it, they would have realized how utterly selfish and petty they'd come off to his counterpart, who would not, could not, react well to being told to stop being friends with one of the very few that he had. Especially seeing as how they had nothing to worry about: it wasn't as though his actions were motivated by romantic inclinations or anything like that, he just didn't want to lose a friend._

_So, naturally, Ranma began to push back against their demands, as he pushed back against Soun and Genma's demands that he married Akane. Enraged by what she saw as betrayal, Akane began to push even harder, motivated by the fear-mongering of Soun and Genma and by Nabiki, who seemed to take her usual delight in manipulating and distressing her younger sister. The strain was incredible, and, eventually, something had to give way..._

"I've HAD IT! You're always hanging out with that hussy Ukyo and never spending any time with me! You're always stringing me along, while you have the time of your life with her! I don't want you seeing her ever again!" Akane was in fine form as she let loose at Ranma over the major topic of contention that had replaced all others; Ranma's friendship with Ukyo.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a **thousand times!** There's **nothing** going on between me and Ukyo! And even if there was, what right do you think **you** have to tell me who I can and can't speak to!?" Ranma shouted back. This topic might be old, but it was no less vehement on both their parts. Ranma had been content to let things die down after a token argument in the past, but this was something he would **not** be cowed on!

Akane snarled; that jerk! Didn't he see that she was trying to help him! Well fine, if he didn't want any help, then she would be more than happy to wash her hands of this whole mess...

"I do have one right Ranma." She hissed angrily, a hiss that rose quickly into a roar of rage. "Get out! If you're going to keep seeing her, then I don't want to see you! Get the hell out of my sight!"

"Now, hold on there Akane! Surely there's a way we can settle this without going to such extreme measures?!" Soun and Genma had rushed into action when Akane made her angry declaration.

"Yes, surely you can afford to cut down on the amount of time you spend with that Ukyo girl, right son?" Genma was sweating with near panic as he said this; if Ranma left, then he was sure to be not far behind him.

"If that's the way you want it, then **fine!**" Ranma roared in outrage. "I refuse to have anything to do with someone who thinks they can tell me who I can and can't have for friends, **and** who's so paranoid that she sees me flirting where there's nothing going on! I've **had** it!"

Genma immediately rushed at Ranma from the side, though what his intentions were would forever remain a mystery. The instant Ranma felt his hand on his shoulder, the younger Saotome spun in a backhand that sent his father flying into a wall with enough force to knock him out cold. He then whirled on his heel and strode vigorously and defiantly from the room. Racing upstairs to the guest room he had inhabited, he pulled his long-packed backpack onto his shoulders and left the building, leaping out the window, onto the plum tree in the garden, and then onto the fence rather than heading back downstairs.

Ukyo was satisfied with the end of the business day, lots of customers had come by this time. Just as she was going to lock up, she blinked as Ranma dropped onto the ground in front of her door, "Ranchan? What brings you here? Not that you aren't welcome or anything- come on in."

As the pig-tailed teen nodded his thanks and Ukyo decided to get some tea started after locking the door and as the water was boiling, she looked over at her friend, "So, I'm guessing that the princess finally had enough of you and tossed you out?"

"More like I got sick of her and walked out." Ranma replied, the remaining sparks of his pride unable to tolerate letting it look like he'd been driven off like a stray dog. Then, he slumped down in his seat. "Ucchan, is it alright if I crash here for a while?"

Ukyo shrugged, "Sure, I got a spare room that I can clear some non-essential stuff out of and unpack a spare futon and blankets. How long you planning on staying? Way things seem to work around here, you'll be back in that place before long." Ukyo smiled, "Still, just means I have to enjoy the company for as long as it lasts."

She glanced at Ranma while preparing the tea, before setting a cup down in front of him with a gentle expression, "Hey come on, so you left that place. Cheer up, it could have been worse."

Ranma gave her a tired smile in gratitude. "Thanks, Ucchan. I don't know what I'd do without a friend like you."

Ukyo blushed slightly, "Aw shucks Ranchan, now you've gone and embarrassed me." She jerked a thumb at the stairs behind the counter, "I'll get your room cleared out in a minute, but first, how about an okonomiyaki? Can't have my best friend staying up late because he's too hungry to get some sleep."

"Thanks for the offer. But, I think I'll help you get that room fixed up first; with the two of us, it'll be over fast."

Ranma-prime watched as his counterpart got up to help his version of Ukyo. By now, he had enough experience to tell that, although his counterpart still wasn't in love with Ukyo per se, she was definitely the one who held his heart now. He sighed heavily.

"Now how am I supposed to keep Akane from getting so paranoid if I try to patch things up with **my** Ukyo?" He asked the air. There was no answer, and after a few moments, he returned his attention to the Eye.

_Just another ten chapters to go before we reach the end. For the vote-curious, the top three most voted chapters are "Ling-Ling/Lung-Lung's replacement", "Shampoo married Ranma when he was Love Bandaged", and "The sakura-mochi rejected Ranma as Akane's lover". Speaking of the Ling-Ling/Lung-Lung option; as it's the most popular, can I ask future voters for this to specify which of the girls they want to be Shampoo's replacement? It'd make things a little easier for me, plus Ganheim doesn't really like multi-matchups._

_Just so folks are aware, here are the remaining oneshots and their votes- this story will finish with the "what if Mousse put the Reversal Jewel on Akane upside down" oneshot, as was helpfully suggested by GreyMonkey._

_What If…  
__When Ranma beat Ling-ling & Lung-lung, they replaced Shampoo as his Amazon bride?  
__Votes: 14_

_Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second?  
__Votes: 12_

_When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face?  
__Votes: 11_

_  
Ranma blurted out to Akane that when he said "I love you", he thought she was Nabiki?  
__Votes: 12_

_Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo?  
__Votes: 11_

_  
Ranma and Shampoo failed to kiss before Maomolin rang the bell for the 108th time?  
__Votes: 10_

_Ryoga decided to try and hook Ranma & Shampoo up when Shampoo first came to Nerima?  
__Votes: 9_

_Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer?  
__Votes: 8_

_Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?  
__Votes: 9_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"?  
__Votes: 8_


	18. Twin Troubles

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** at long last, we have returned. I honestly never expected that this serial would get as far as it has, and I'm ecstatic that everyone has been enjoying it so.  
Aoirann; if you're looking for Ranma/Akane, then you've come to the wrong author. I make it pretty clear I'm not a believer in that couple, and I can't write what I can't believe in. There are thousands of well-written Ranma/Akane fanfics out there; I feel no compulsion whatsoever to add to them. Hell, I made this serial in the first place to give the other girls a ray of light through the blanketing umbrella of Ranma/Akane.

Chapter 16: Twin Troubles

It was a peaceful day at the Tendo Dojo. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, Soun and Genma were watching TV while Kasumi did some ironing. Ranma was practicing his katas in the garden, while Akane was reading a manga and eating some snacks that Kasumi had provided, so used to Ranma's antics that she wasn't paying the slightest attention. Yes, everything was peaceful... and that was when Shampoo suddenly dropped down in front of Ranma, who barely managed to halt himself before he hit her.

"What didya do that for?" Ranma shouted, causing Akane and their fathers to look up, tension beginning to seep into the scene. Whenever the Chinese Amazons got involved, there was usually trouble of some description close behind.

Shampoo paid no attention to them, didn't even seem to acknowledge just what a dangerous thing she'd done by her arrival. Instead, she stared at Ranma, a grim expression on her face. "Ranma, come with Shampoo." She stated flatly.

"Ranma, don't you even think of going on a date with that girl!" Soun thundered dramatically, drawing scornful glances from all three of the teens- there had been nothing about a date in Shampoo's proclamation, though the Japanese teens still had no idea what she was there for.

"Is important that Ranma come with Shampoo. Ranma is needed at Nekohanten." She insisted.

Ranma thought it over for a second, then shrugged. He couldn't see any reason not to come.

As they turned to leave, though, Akane stood up. "I'm coming too." She declared, her body language warning them not to try and stop her.

Now it was Shampoo's turn to shrug. "Akane do what Akane wants." She suddenly grimaced. "Akane always do what Akane wants." She muttered bitterly.

Akane did not look happy, but held her tongue, joining the others as they hurried away to the Nekohanten. Ranma and Akane both paused at the door; even out here they could plainly hear two people talking loudly in Chinese, quite obviously arguing. Shampoo didn't hesitate, however, instead pushing the door open and beckoning them to follow.

The scene inside could easily be described as confrontational. Heck, Ranma thought he could see a line drawn right down the middle of the room and the table the two parties were seated at.

On one side was Cologne. The old woman was in furious form, one that was matched by the person on the other side and Ranma blinked at the sight of a slightly taller but no less ancient old man with long white hair tied back that framed his bald crown and the almost stereotypical long white beard one would expect of an ancient and wizened elder male. Seated to either side was a pair of familiar twins, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, who were twitching with every syllable the two elders were spitting at each other.

"Uh... what's going on?" Ranma finally asked. Nobody heard him- or, if they did, they chose to ignore him. "Hello?" He tried again. If anything, they got louder in their argument. He gave a confused glance at Akane, who looked just as out of place as he did, before Shampoo suddenly gave an ear-piercing whistle. **That** got their attention.

"Ah, son-in-law, my apologies- I wasn't aware that you had entered." Cologne said, evidently trying to regain her dignity after being caught squabbling.

"He's not your son-in-law... not any more." Said the old man, much to Ranma's surprise.

"Why, you geriatric goat-groping..." Cologne started.

"What's going on?!" Ranma insisted loudly, as much from actual exasperation as from a desire to avoid whatever mental scarring would come from letting her finish her list of insults.

"It's... hard to explain." Cologne said, rubbing at her head and looking, for the first time Ranma was consciously aware of, lost for words.

The other elder openly sneered at Cologne in response, "What's so difficult to explain? Your great-granddaughter has made no progress, therefore I Elder Sin Ku am here to contest her claim with Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung. See? That was easy!"

To say Ranma and Akane were stunned would be like saying that Kuno was a little arrogant. Akane managed to pull herself together first, unthinkingly turning to her arranged fiancé and asking, "I thought you said that the Kiss of Marriage was first-come, first-serve?" She flushed with embarrassment as she realised what she had said- definitely not the relevant issue here, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

Sin Ku straightened up, "It typically is, if the girl can actually consummate a wedding night with the one whom she kissed." He sent a pointed glance at Shampoo and Cologne, "And of course, I'm inclined to view that as a failure on Xian Pu's part and thus, another elder is free to sponsor a more suitable bride, or brides in this case."

Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung simply bowed their heads, clearly not liking the situation they were in, but remained silent.

"I'll admit that this situation is taking longer to resolve than is normal, but these are more than normal circumstances..."

Sin Ku waved off the explanation. "Such as finding enough sympathy with this boy to teach him in what are supposed to be secret arts? Frankly I'm starting to think you've gone native Cologne. No, the circumstance while strange have no bearing on the fact that Xian Pu has failed and thus Ranma is free game."

Cologne snarled, "You know that I intend to fight this Sin Ku, I am not letting his go so easily."

Sin Ku made a motion to the door. "By all means, after you."

Cologne deflated visibly before sighing and hopping over to Ranma, "Son-in-Law, I want you to listen carefully. While I intend to fight this to keep Shampoo engaged to you, it will also afford you a measure of protection. There are other Amazon girls who know of you and unlike Shampoo, they will not be so restrained in securing your affections at whatever cost. However, that means that Shampoo and myself and likely Mousse as well, will need to leave the Nekohanten and head back to the village to present our case, the twins will have to remain here to pretty much take up where Shampoo has left off in regards to pursuing your affections until word is sent for them to return."

Akane scoffed, "In other words, business as usual."

Cologne chuckled in a somewhat mocking fashion.

"If a pair of young girls barely into their teens can do what Shampoo cannot, then even I will admit that Shampoo has failed. Regardless, as Sink will doubtlessly accompany us back to China in order to make his own voice heard in the proceedings, and as the twins are too young to manage a restaurant on their own, they need a place to stay. I am sorry to impose on you, Ranma, but you are the only one I can ask: will you please allow them to stay with you while they are here?"

Ranma would have thought about the situation, but the almost pleading expression on Cologne's face and the puppy-dog eyes on the twins made him give an almost knee-jerk, "Yeah sure, I'll help you out Cologne." He didn't realize what he had said until the Elder bowed to him in thanks.

With that, Cologne and Shampoo left to pack for the trip back while Sin Ku nodded in satisfaction and left as well, leaving Ranma and Akane with a pair of suitably confused twins.

Ranma turned to the nearest wall and began to gently bang his head against it (gently, in this case, meaning he wasn't cracking the concrete). "Why does this always happen to me?" He moaned. "Everyone's gonna want my head for this! Ryoga, Kuno, Ukyo, Akane-"

"Gee, thanks so much for that sign of trust." Akane mocked sarcastically. Okay, maybe she was a little overeager to assume his guilt on occasions, but she had been right here- did he really think that she would blow up over something she happened to know was just more madness from those whackjob Chinese?

If he'd heard her, Ranma gave no sign. "-And I don't even want to think about how the old men are going to take this."

At that particular complaint, Akane felt a shiver run down her own spine; she might be perfectly reasonable about this, but her father and Genma Saotome most certainly weren't.

"We sorry." Said one of the twin Amazons. "We not mean for this to happen." Continued the other. "We not know that great-grandfather act like this when we tell him truth about Shampoo fiancé."

"Oh, forget about it." Ranma said, finally stopping with the headbutting. "It's not like I haven't been screwed up by crazy old folks and your weird laws before, so this really isn't that big of a deal anyway."

At his choice in words, both Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung looked annoyed; while they did appreciate someone not blaming this on them, they still didn't like hearing their culture disparaged. They said nothing, though, aware that they were already on thin ice.

Shortly after that, Shampoo came back down the steps, a happy looking Mousse at her heels and a solemn Cologne, all bearing their own various belongings. The lavender-haired girl walked up to Ranma, looking almost on the verge of tears, then glomped onto him before he could react.

"Shampoo sorry, Ranma- Ranma be brave and wait for Shampoo, okay? Shampoo come back to you soon!"

Before Ranma could say anything, be it positive or negative, Shampoo decided to emphasize her words by kissing him on the lips, at which Ranma's eyes went wide (this was only the second time he'd ever actually been kissed by a girl, after all) and Akane and Mousse both saw red with rage. Things kind of got out of hand after that...

By the time everything was back to the usual calmness, Ranma and Akane were walking back to the Tendo Dojo, the Saotome boy looking rather battered (as was a frequent occurrence) and the Chinese twins close behind them.

"We're home."

"Ah Ranma, you're back...and you brought those two with you again." Now Soun usually ignored new visitors to the dojo, they were dime a dozen as the American saying went, but Soun was wary for the simple reason that the two had outright threatened him the last time they were here, "And what business do they have being here again?"

Genma said nothing but kept an eye on the twins, anything that got Soun's hackles up deserved to have an eye kept on them. Still, they were young so it was unlikely that they were fiancées.

"This is Ling-Ling, and that's Lung-Lung... or is it the other way around? Anyway, they're supposed to stay here a while... y'see, the reason Shampoo asked me to come around is... cause, well, she's left town." Ranma answered awkwardly.

"She has? Oh, that's wonderful news, son!" Soun Tendo proclaimed happily, beaming with joy. "Now all you have to do is persuade that foolish Kuonji girl that her engagement to you isn't real, and you and Akane can marry at last!"

"Uh... I haven't exactly gotten the Amazons off my case..." Ranma replied hesitantly. Before he could continue, Ling-Ling got annoyed with all the tiptoeing around the subject and just spit it out.

"Big sister Shampoo sent back to village because she take too-too long make Ranma fall in love with her. So, now we must marry Ranma in her place."

There was silence for several seconds before Genma and Soun shouted, "What!" but it wasn't as loud as the annoyed yell from Happosai, " You can't be engaged to those two!" There was another silence, this one shocked before Soun and Genma turned to Happosai.

"Master, does this mean you support the engagement?" Happosai glared at the two men.

"Are you idiots joking, I could care less!" Tears appeared in his eyes, "What I do care about is that beauty Shampoo being replaced by a pair of ugly little brats. Oh, the injustice of it all!"

Everyone present promptly facefaulted at that statement, the sole exceptions being the twins themselves, who screamed with rage at the insult and promptly began chasing Happosai around and around the house, until he finally knocked them out cold with a small Happo-Fire Burst bomb.

By the time the girls came to, Happosai had tried to splash Ranma so as to "mourn" Shampoo's departure, for which Ranma had promptly sent him hurtling skyward. Once they were awake, Soun Tendo was persuaded to allow them to stay at the Tendo Dojo, due to them literally having nowhere else to go or anyone else to turn to. However, Soun had insisted that the twins sleep in the dojo itself, claiming that there was no room in the house proper. As this was the truth, what with the house itself having only two guest rooms already occupied by the Saotomes and Happosai, and as the girls didn't mind, claiming that they had been prepared for such a possibility and brought their own sleeping bags, the two pre-teenagers were soon set up. Dinner that night was strangely tense, yet for once all the tension was from Ranma and Akane's fathers- the teens themselves were quietly eating their meals, just like they always did when they weren't arguing or otherwise upset with each other. The twins themselves tried to be as quiet and demure as possible, evidently to avoid any more problems.

Ranma sighed as he relaxed against a convenient tree at Furinkan High. The girls had slept in that morning, allowing Ranma to avoid the complication of explaining that he had to go to school and the chaos that would have arisen had the twins followed him and hung around. Then there would have been the reactions of the other students, and Ukyo of course.

Ranma's musings were cut short by a stereo cry of "Ranma!" and he jerks his head up just in time to see the twins alight on a branch with twin bentos, and their cry had been loud enough to get everyone's attention.

"Ling-Ling" Almost immediately the pair went into a synchronized pose.

"And Lung-Lung" And then flipped neatly off the branch to land on either side of him.

"Brought you lunch!" And at that moment, Ranma knew he was in trouble as his sharp ears picked up the comments of the more normal students.

"Wha? Two more? And they're not even teenagers!"

"Damn, don't tell me Saotome is branching out to younger models now?"

"Sicko."

At once, Ranma started shouting about how this was not what it looked like, there was no romance involved in their relationship, not that they had a relationship, they were far too young for him and they were just guests at the Tendo Dojo.

"Saotome!" Ranma twitched and rolled his eyes, and here came Kuno, right on time.

The samurai-wannbe was in more of a furious state than Ranma thought he would be, though that was likely because of the apparent age of the twins as he roared out, "Foul fiend, do you know no end to your depravity! Ensnaring young girls like the deviant you are, I will not stand for this!"

Naturally, at the look on Ranma's face, and the vaguely insulting manner with which he was being addressed, the twins immediately sprang into action before Ranma could even try to make up an excuse.

What followed was a coordinated assault on Kuno; no matter which one of the twins he parried, her sister was always there to strike from behind, or from the sides and in one clever attack, they hit him from above and below until the kendoist finally collapsed into a bruised heap.

Ranma smiled slightly at the sight before he heard another voice calling him, "What the heck is going on Ranchan?" He turned and winced as he saw Ukyo approaching him with a narrow-eyed expression.

Ukyo had seen the coordinated assault and heard the latest comments and additions to the Ranma rumor-mill. But while she was prone to getting **imaginative** about how Ranma ended up with a pair of twin girls that were likely his new fiancées for some crazy reason or another, Ranma's explanation brought some good cheer to her mood.

With Shampoo going to be stuck in China for this whole contested kiss deal, that meant the one real threat to her fiancée bid with Ranma (and of course she discounted Akane, that brat was going to kill her Ranchan long before she professed love for him) was effectively out of the competition and the thought of two pre-teen twins getting Ranma to marry them was ludicrous. Sure Ranma might befriend them in his usual style, but no way did they have a chance at romance with him!

So it was a smiling Ukyo that nodded to Ranma and said, "Okay Ranchan, I believe you. See ya later!"

And while Ranma thought he dodged a bullet, if he could have read Ukyo's mind he wouldn't have been so happy to see Ukyo bound off like a delighted puppy.

_In the Prime reality, Ranma-Prime watched all of this happen with a faintly amused expression. He still didn't know what had prompted him to wonder if Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung might have come back to try and marry him themselves, instead of coming back to try and pair him with Shampoo, but it didn't look like anything more than the usual bout of weirdness. Just like that business with Copycat Ken, or the Men's Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnasts, or, hell, even that mess with the Ultimate Weakness... Moxibustion..._

_"Oh crap." He said, as the realization sank in. "What happened when that old pervert stuck that damn strength-sapping burn on my back? I know I never did thank them for it, but the Amazons did save my ass when that happened... did he maybe not bother doing so in this timeline?" He asked this last part hopefully, and wilted when the Eye replied in the negative._

_"So what happened to me then?" He asked, wondering just how he could have gotten over it. In his timeline, Cologne had been in town, which was how she was able to hear about his being weakened by Happosai and come to his aid; teaching him the Hiryu Shoten Ha so that he could challenge and defeat the old lecher even in his weakened state. The twins, from his point of view, hadn't returned to Japan until much later. So, how on earth was he able to defeat Happosai in this timeline, when there was no Cologne to teach him the Hiryu Shoten Ha, never mind a Mousse to try and take advantage of his state to get hold of Shampoo and inadvertently reveal the news to the Joketsuzoku elder?_

_In response to his query, the Eye zoomed in on the night after Happosai's true revenge had been made apparent..._

In the Tendo Dojo, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung were awake and deep in discussion, huddling on either side of the lit candle that was the sole source of light in the dojo.

"What are we going to do, sister?" Ling-Ling asked in Chinese. "That evil little troll has put a horrible moxibustion on our future husband, making him weak as a baby."

"What do you mean **our** future husband?" Lung-Lung hissed softly. "He belongs to Big Sister Shampoo- we're only doing this because great-grandfather Sink came up with the idea, and we'll have to give him back to her as soon as great-grandaunt Cologne clears this whole mess up."

"So, are you telling me that you don't want Ranma as your husband?" The magenta-haired twin asked, a mischievous grin on her face. "That you don't think he's brave, and kind, and so handsome, too...?"

Her aquamarine-haired sister flushed and fidgeted nervously. "I... I wasn't saying that. I mean, he is really nice to us- none of the other boys back in the village were so kind. They always said we were messups, remember? And... well, he is kinda cute..."

"Oh, so you **weren't** staring at his butt when we followed him to school yesterday?" Ling-Ling teased.

"T-That's besides the point!" Lung-Lung stammered. "Besides, aren't you the one who still has that shirt of his? The one he gave you after you set your own on fire when we were fighting Copycat Ken?"

Now it was Ling-Ling's turn to be embarrassed. "S-So what if I do? Besides, this isn't what I wanted to talk about- we've got to help him get his strength back! For our sake, for Shampoo's sake, for his sake!"

"You're right! This is an affront to all of Joketsuzoku! We must take action!" Lung-Lung declared, hurtling upright into a defiant pose.

"We've got to tell him that we're with him, all the way!" Ling-Ling proclaimed, standing up in her own triumphant pose.

As one, the two sisters began to laugh triumphantly, cutting off as they suddenly heard voices coming from outside the dojo. At once, old instincts kicked in and they stopped laughing, grabbing up their weapons and hurrying to the door as quickly and quietly as they could, lurking in the shadows to overhear what was being said.

"Do we have to leave in the night like a couple of thieves?" Ranma asked.

"It's better this way. We'll train on the road, just like the old days, then come back and defeat Happosai and restore your strength!" Genma retorted, pumping a fist in the air for emphasis.

"And exactly how that work?" Came a feminine voice, making both Saotomes jump and their hands twist into warding gestures as the twins emerged from the gloom.

"Little girls shouldn't poke their nose into adults' business." Genma growled indignantly.

Ling-Ling promptly hit him over the head with her shortstaff. "And old fools should no be heard or seen." She snapped. She then turned to Ranma. "Ranma not seriously listen to old fool? Ranma really think he can help you beat old pervert?"

"Well... maybe." Ranma said. Truth be told, he wasn't really that confident Genma would have anything useful -after all, Jusenkyo had been his last "great idea" for training- but he was, frankly, desperate. "But what am I going to do? I need my strength back."

"Then Ranma should start using head." Said Lung-Lung. "Ranma go about this all wrong; goal is not to beat up old pervert, goal is to get chart from old pervert. Beat stinky old goat is just added fun. All Ranma really need to do is to steal chart away and get cured. **Then** come back and beat stinky old goat into ground."

Ranma looked at the pre-teen askance, while Genma's eyes suddenly widened, as though he had just realized a key to the universe. "Of course, why didn't I see it before?! They're absolutely right! I didn't spend a decade teaching you how to pick pockets and steal wallets for nothing, boy, you can just snatch the chart from the Master and run!"

"Ranma know how pick pockets?" The twins asked in confusion.

"Geez, pop, why don't you just plaster it all over town?" Ranma snapped. "But... you got a point. If it means I'll be strong again, then I'll do whatever it takes, even if it does mean acting even the slightest bit like you!" He proclaimed, thrusting a dramatic finger at the sky, and earning a rousing cheer from the twins.

Which was when a weight came flying out of the darkness and just missed beaning Ranma in the head. "Will you people keep it down? People are trying to sleep in here!"

Silence quickly blanketed the yard, and then Ling-Ling spoke up in a quiet voice. "And we help you, no matter what it takes." Beside her, Lung-Lung nodded her assent.

"Um... no offense girls..." Ranma began.

"But nothing; Ranma need us, to watch back, if nothing else. Besides, more people fighting stinky old goat means more chance he not notice someone trying to grab chart. And what if he try pull sneaky trick- let himself be lured into fight, but leave chart back in room? You need us." Lung-Lung interrupted.

Ranma nodded, hesitantly, then spoke up. "The problem is... well... you girls aren't exactly the fastest, or the most precise in your strikes..."

"So teach us. Ranma learn it, we need learn it, Ranma can teach us. How hard could it be?"

Ranma went silent, turning his gaze to Genma, who nodded gravely. "Very well, boy, I give you permission to train these girls in order to help you retrieve your strength."

At this, Ranma turned back to them and nodded. "Alright, if pops says I can, then I guess there are a few tricks I can show you..."

Pickpocket Training...

"So, all we have to do is remove contents of pockets without making any bells ring?" Ling-Ling asked warily.

"That easy." Lung-Lung stated confidently.

Ranma shook his head in the negative. "That's the beginner's training and, awkward as you girls can be, you're still past that level. No, what you gotta do is steal the bells themselves. And if I hear so much as one tinkle, you fail." He gave a cheery grin at their sudden downturned expressions. "Hey, it's easier then what my old man made me do- when I was learning, he liked to stick mousetraps in the pockets, just for added encouragement."

The twins swallowed nervously. He was just telling them about that to make them feel better, right? He wasn't trying to subtly warn them about any extra surprises in the dummy... was he?

Speed Training...

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." Lung-Lung whimpered softly, prompting Ranma to sigh before squirting some burn ointment into his hand so he could start applying it to the blisters proliferating the teen's arms... from her hands up to her shoulders, thanks to her sleeves having caught on fire.

"I don't know, I've never seen girls like you two for setting yourselves on fire. I mean, after what happened to your sister, I'd have thought you would have known to roll up your sleeves before trying this."

Lung-Lung simply wriggled, partially from embarrassment, partially from the pain as Ranma gently began coating her burns with the cold, soothing cream. A sudden yelp of pain from Ling-Ling drew Ranma's attention away from his current "patient", but she shook her head at his inquiring gesture- she didn't need the cream. "Just be grateful you don't have to try and learn this with the damn Full-Body Cat's Tongue on you; now **that** was a pain."

Finally, it was D-Day, the day that Ranma, Ling-Ling, and Lung-Lung swore would see Happosai's plot defeated. The twins had volunteered to be the ones to lure the old letch away from his quarters, pointing out that he would most likely go easy on them, as he had neither any grudge against them or any desire to molest them. They also pointed out that Happosai probably had all sorts of booby traps in his room, and Ranma had begrudgingly agreed that he should be the one to scope it out- he had a fair bit of experience with traps and tripwires...

From their hiding places, positioned where they could easily see the good sized mound of women's undergarments that was the bait to their trap, Ling-Ling turned to her sister. "You think Akane will mind we used all her undies to make a trail for the old fart?"

"I'm more worried about whether or not he'll actually fall for a trap like this. I mean, he isn't that stupid, is he?"

"Woohoo! Panties, bras, lingerie in all styles, it's the motherlode!"

A sweatdrop trickled down each of their faces as they saw Happosai flinging underwear around like an anime bandit in a pile of treasure. "Yep, he is that stupid."

Meanwhile, back at the Tendo Dojo, Ranma had crept into Happosai's lair and was trying his hardest to find the chart, if it was there at all. It wasn't easy; the second guest room was practically drowning in women's underthings, and Ranma wasn't too happy about having to root through them all; he just had this sinking feeling that if any of the Tendos saw this, they would immediately leap to the conclusion he was doing it for the undies, not the chart. He rooted through every nook and cranny, and besides a few spare pipes, changes of clothing and bags of tobacco, all he found was a supply of Happosai's bombs. He looked at them for the longest few minutes of his life, sorely tempted to rig them into some kind of timebomb, then finally managed to muster his will and put them back.

"Well... I guess he must have it with him. Only makes sense; I guess he was aware of this sort of risk. Man, I hope the twins will be alright... guess we'll need a new plan..."

Meanwhile, back at the ambush site, the twins weren't having a fun time either as they quickly found that Happosai had the chart, and that changed the plan from simply distraction to actual theft under assault as the ancient grandmaster proved that he was more than capable of keeping the two of them in view for more than a few seconds as the twins valiantly weathered his own retaliations while blocking his escape routes.

"You two brats are starting to annoy me!" As Happosai grabbed several of his fire-bombs, the twins saw their chance and as Ling-Ling charged forward, Lung-Lung came in from the side. With Amaguriken swiftness, the bomb fuses were shortened and the chart neatly snatched out of Happosai's clothing before they leapt backwards, the twins trading a glance as the grandmaster stormed out, smoking in several places from the explosion.

Almost immediately, a small music box and was tossed out and as Happosai was about to leap into action, the music box began to play and the ancient pervert began to dance against his will as the twins made their escape.

Waiting for Happosai to return, as it would be necessary to prove that he hadn't been involved in the twins' attempted strike at the old pervert in order to keep him from becoming more wary, was harder then Ranma had thought it would have been. It took a surprising amount of discipline not to fidget when Happosai finally came leaping over the wall... almost as much as it did to avoid twitching when the perverted fossil walked until he was just up to Ranma and waved the chart just out of reach of him.

"You see this, you snot-nosed little punk? Those insolent little girls who've become your groupies tried to get this from me today, but it didn't work!"

"I had nothing to do with it." Ranma stated blankly... oh, it was so tempting to lunge for that precious piece of paper, but without his strength, he couldn't do a thing to try and take it back.

"Even if you did, it didn't work! Those little pukes knew who they were messing with- they threw the chart back to me when they realised I wasn't going to give up!" Happosai smirked darkly at Ranma's horrorstruck expression. The old goat had to be lying! ...Hadn't he?

When Happosai wandered away, Ranma took off as fast as he could... forgetting, in his initial rush, that no strength meant he couldn't jump like he used to, slamming face-first into the wall instead of clearing it. Swearing in various tongues, he rushed for the gate, pushing through it and racing towards the place where he and the twins had chosen to rendezvous.

Ranma found the twins at the rendezvous waiting casually as though they didn't have a care in the world, "What the hell happened? I thought you would have managed to get the chart from him and then he goes and shoves it in my face!"

Ling-Ling rolled her eyes, "Ranma get high-strung too easy. We get chart, and then we copy it!" The twins each produced multiple copies of the chart, leaving Ranma to goggle at the small stack.

"Wha? How?" The twins sighed.

"Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung paralyze stinky old goat with music box and then go to copy shop, make lots of copies and then dump original chart on street for stinky old goat to find while we go wait for you. Is too-too clever no?"

Ranma blinked, and then started chuckling, "Yeah, I guess it is."

Lung-Lung smiled. "Now, Ranma turn round and pull up shirt. This hurt..." She warned.

Ranma complied without the slightest hesitation. "After all this, it'll be worth it."

"Just keep that in mind." Ling-Ling warned as she took out a match and struck it. "Think happy thoughts..."

"I'm guessing that they become friends at this point. Wonder how that works out further down the line...holy crap." Ranma-Prime simply stared at the intricate spider's web of diverging timelines after that moment and for a moment he was tempted to take a closer look at them but quickly decided against it. After all it was still raining, and Ranma-Prime swore he saw a dog in scuba gear outside the window, and there were still plenty of different timelines to look at.

Ranma-Prime settled down and started looking for another timeline that would catch his interest.

_And that's a wrap for this one. Sorry for the rather non-ending, but there were so many potential possibilities, which we originally we thinking of more or less pointing out, that we decided that a more ambiguous work would be best. Hope you enjoyed it nonetheless._

_Well, there's only seven choices left to vote on. There was another 8 possibilities, but I cut them out for various reasons. And, seeing the options that are left, I understand perfectly if people would like me to trim the list down even further. You'll notice there are only 6 choices listed here; number 7 is the final chapter, "What if Mousse had put the Reversal Jewel on Akane upside down", and I want to thank Grey Monkey both for suggesting it and his most recent suggestion for, essentially, this story's epilogue. Many thanks to you, and may your trees every be covered in ripe fruit._

_What If…_

_When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face?  
__Votes: 15  
__  
Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second?  
__Votes: 13_

_Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo?  
__Votes: 13_

_Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?  
__Votes: 12_

_Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"?  
__Votes: 9_

_Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer?  
Votes: 10_


	19. Surprise Switch

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** I was surprised and pleased by how well folks took the last chapter, despite it revolving around characters ubiquitous to the anime. Anyway, there's only a few chapters left, which will make this the first serial story I have ever written that actually got completed. I'm afraid I had to trim a few more stories because I wasn't sure that I could make them distinct under the format I'm using, but there's nothing to stop them showing up in Random Tales.  
Aoirann: rather then waste both our time, I will simply point you towards my newly rewritten profile details.  
Teturo: first I'm too rough on Akane, then I'm too easy on her, eesh, make up your mind. And people wonder why I try to avoid writing about her.  
The-Jaron: I never knew Dunsparce was rare; I found them all the time in Gold. Feebas though… whose fricking idea was it to put it in only 6 squares of a river? And to make those squares both random and changed by toying with the "cool sayings" on an island on the other side of the map?

Chapter 17: Surprise Switch

Akane swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest like it was trying to batter its way past her ribs. This was it; Ranma had finally eaten that special cherry-blossom rice cake that she had worked so hard to make, the one with the magical recipe that would help her know for sure if she and Ranma were truly meant to be. If sakura petals formed on his face, then they were destined to be together.

If a black X mark appeared instead, however, then they truly were incompatible and this arranged marriage was ultimately destined to fall apart, no matter what their fathers might say on the matter. Akane wasn't sure which mark she wanted to be on his face; true, they fought so frequently, but he had also helped her many times, and he **could** be nice... when he wasn't being a pervert or a jerk. For a brief, intense moment, she was struck by the urge to push Ranma away, so as to spare them both whatever would happen from the mark, but finally the desire to see it, to resolve this romantic conflict of theirs one way or the other, overwhelmed that urge. Ranma turned around...

...And there was an X on his face.

_"Let me guess..." Ranma-Prime asked, half rhetorically, half sarcastically, and all glumly. After all,__while there were elements of protection at work, namely distance (after all, this wasn't happening to __**him**__) and prior exposure to similar events, what he had just seen had still hurt Ranma considerably, as Akane was the keystone of his limited social circle. "Akane took that as proof positive that her and me were never going to work as a couple and, however reluctantly she might have felt about it, broke the deal off to hook up with Ryoga, never once questioning that maybe her cooking habits had warped the magic, right?"_

_The Eye chimed in response to his words._

_"With her being so stubborn, and her old man never being able to put his foot down with her, I guess that meant the poor sap got switched over to one of her sisters... now, they wouldn't have given him to Nabiki again, not after how she acted the last time. So... that leaves only Kasumi. Now, let me guess; the other me wasn't really attracted to her, she didn't really try to woo him, the other girls figured this was a golden opportunity to make up for lost ground, and so he was taken from the Tendos entirely, right?" Ranma-Prime predicted, with more then a trace of bitterness. "Just show me the happy ending, so I can move on to the next timeline- can't believe I wasted my time looking into this anyway..."_

_The Eye obliged and began to display..._

Whatever Ranma was expecting to be shown, a large park was not on the list as he saw his alternate self land on the grass and look around with a content expression on his face before he closed his eyes and whispered, "Come out, come out where-ever you are..." He blocked and countered a punch and sent a shadow flipping into the air in an impressive display of acrobatics, the shadow revealed by the sunlight to be an athletic young woman with dark hair as he finished speaking, "Natsume-chan."

_Ranma-Prime blinked as the beauty smiled, "Nearly had you there Ranma. Catch me if you can." What followed could be loosely termed as a sparring session but as he watched, it became clear that the two were more playing than fighting, well playing as much as a pair of martial artists considered 'playing' in any form, it was sort of like watching a pair of puppies bound around the park as the pair traded light taps in a combination game of tag and hide-and-seek._

_"Okay, who is she and what happened to get to this point?" The mirror made a questioning noise and Ranma-Prime shook his head, "That was before I saw that scene. Come on, back to the start, let's get to the bottom of this." The mirror obediently began rewinding time._

Ranma thoughtfully gnawed at a stick of dango, reflecting on what he had learned. Why would a food thief come to Nerima, of all places? There were that many martial artists here that most crooks of all kinds stayed away, apparently afraid that any possible "victim" might turn out to be strong enough to turn their bones to powder. Yet, a food thief had come to Nerima, attacking restaurants and even lone travelers to steal whatever edibles they might be carrying. Not even being a recognized martial artist had kept Ukyo or Shampoo safe from being attacked; clearly, whoever this thief was, they were a skilled martial artist in their own right. Even Ryoga, who had been bringing some pineapples from Hokkaido for Akane, hadn't been able to react in time to catch them or keep them from devouring his gifts.

Ranma's expression turned sour as he thought of Ryoga. Since Akane had broken their engagement and started dating the Eternally Lost Boy, Ranma had become the bitter one in their relationship. He didn't try to break them up, initially because he knew that it wouldn't make Akane take him back, now because Ryoga was a lot happier and thusly easier to get along with, but he still enjoyed tormenting his rival, who was perpetually suspicious of Ranma's intentions, fearful lest he somehow lose his newfound happiness. Ranma gave a mocking laugh at that; the fanged wanderer had yet to come clean about his Jusenkyo curse to Akane, and Ranma wondered if their "blessed" relationship would survive if Akane found out how she'd been duped.

He forced his thoughts away from that dark alley; bitterness and dwelling on what pained him was Ryoga's way, not his. Instead, he concentrated on why he was up here; reasoning that the thief clearly wasn't willing to attack someone in their own home, so he had figured that putting himself into an isolated position with food would make him too tempting a target to avoid. Akane had laughingly teased him that he just wanted to eat, shortly before leaving with Ryoga and their fathers to stake out a few of the restaurants in town. It was strange, really... while Akane was, if anything, more suspicious of his "perversions" now that he was being pushed to marry Kasumi (never mind that the eldest Tendo had no interest in him; she didn't complain about it like Akane had, so that meant she agreed in the eyes of Soun and Genma)… Akane was also, at the same time, friendlier and easier to get on with then she had been when they were fiancées. It was really weird...

His eyes narrowed, his hand lashed out and grabbed the plate of dango and he shot up from his seated position to the other end of the roof as, microseconds behind him, a hand clutched at where the plate had been. He straightened and turned, observing his opponent. She was at least several years younger then he, but that wasn't such a surprise to Ranma; after all, Tamari Kaminarimon couldn't have been much more then ten years old, and she managed to defeat Akane in a one-on-one battle. She didn't look that much of a fighter, with her big brown eyes, short, messy brown hair, fuku uniform and big dark pink bow on the back of her head, but Ranma wasn't fooled; she was clearly skilled, if she had managed to sneak up on him with such ease, never mind attack so swiftly. She was half-smiling at him as she, in turn, studied him.

"Wow, you're good; nobody's ever managed to dodge me before."

"First rule of martial arts: there's always a bigger fish." Ranma smirked... an expression that faded away in irritation when he noticed she wasn't looking at him anymore, but staring at his plate of dango as though hypnotized. "You want it? You'll have to take it." He teased.

She didn't even bother answering, instead hurtling towards him at a speed that almost matched his own. Almost. Ranma leapt over her at the last second, tagging her in the back of the head with his foot as he did so- it had worked for Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, it should work here, right? The girl staggered, but didn't fall, instead turning around whilst simultaneously unraveling her ribbon from her hair, sending it lashing out at the youngest Saotome, who deflected it with a swat of his arm, a skill he had honed against Kodachi... except Kuno's sister had never been able to make her ribbon hot enough to burn with a mere touch before, forcing Ranma to bite back a yelp of pain. Okay, maybe this would be a bit tougher then he had anticipated...

He backed away as she approached, grinning triumphantly and spinning her ribbon, when a plan came to him. He hurled the plate into the air above her head and, at once, she broke off her focus on him, leaping instead for the dango and giving him the opportunity to grab her and pull her out of the air, pinning her to the rooftop with his foot while he grabbed the dango himself with a crow of triumph.

"Gotcha!"

When he looked down at her, as she twisted to stare at him (and the dango), though, that triumph melted away. He **knew** that expression- had **worn** that expression more then once, in the past. It was an expression of hunger, and sorrow, the look of someone who had traveled too far on too little food and who wanted to fill their belly more then they wanted their heart to beat. His heart wavered, for a moment, and then he gave in with a sigh, stepping off of her and handing her the plate, the girl looking at it with an expression that could most easily be summed up as "hungry, battered stray". A mixture of trepidation, hunger, disbelief and a fervent desire that this was real.

"Take it. I know what it's like. Wasn't too long ago I was in your shoes." Ranma said, trying to be gruff as he could.

Her eyes lit up and she exploded into motion. Ranma himself stared in disbelief as the skewers were emptied in seconds. "Take it easy, kid! My old man's not here, your food's safe." She gave him a quizzical look, and he felt compelled to justify himself. "Family joke, never mind. So, you feel better now?"

She nodded emphatically, eyes closed and smiling widely in happiness.

"Good. Now, I'll let you go, but you gotta promise not to go stealing again, alright? Someone as good as you ought to be able to challenge dojos for food money- I used to do it all the time, and I haven't been off the road long enough for that to have changed without me knowing."

"Oh, we do that, but sis says that we should save that money for things like clothes and bathes and the like." The girl replied easily.

"Your sister?" Ranma asked. "Where's she?"

Before the stranger could respond, they both heard a feminine voice calling from the street. "Kurumi! Kurumi! Where are you, Kurumi?"

"Natsume! I'm up here!" The girl, evidently Kurumi, called. In response, a second female figure leapt from the street to the Tendo's garden wall to the covering for the front path to the roof where Ranma and Kurumi were sitting. This girl was clearly older than Kurumi, at least Ranma's age, maybe Nabiki's, wearing a long-skirted dress with a shawl or a jumper tied over her shoulders. Like her sister, she had brown eyes and brown hair -in her case worn long and descending from a high topknot- and also had unusual tastes in weaponry, for what else could the carpet beater over her shoulder be?

"Kurumi, there you are." She said, sounding relieved. "I'm deeply sorry if she's troubled you. My little sister likes to eat, and we don't make much money, so she tends to steal whenever she manages to get away from me."

"Eh, it's alright. I know what it's like to be on the road with no money." Ranma said, waving his hand. "We had a talk about it and I'm not going to tell about how I caught the food thief." Ranma said with a casual wave of his hand.

"Caught...?" Natsume asked, directing a quizzical stare at her sister, who shrugged in a sheepish fashion.

"Sorry, sis, I underestimated him- he's a really strong martial artist."

"I see..." She said, giving a studying glance at Ranma. "My sister and I have been traveling Japan all of our lives in order to hone our martial arts skills."

"No kidding? Small world; I did the same thing." Ranma said. "Not any more though, I'm afraid to say; I kinda got roped into studying at the Tendo Dojo."

"T-Tendo dojo?" Both girls stuttered, their eyes temporarily widening in shock.

"Something wrong?" Ranma asked, confused and now wary. This wouldn't be the first time that problems that one of the old men had stirred up had tracked the dojo down to land on Ranma's head.

"Tell me, this dojo, does the style it teach happen to be... Anything-Goes?" Natsume asked, almost whispering.

Okay, now Ranma was really getting suspicious. "Yeah, that's right... so, what'd the old men do this time?" He asked in a tired, resigned voice. Best to get this over and done with now, before things **really** got out of hand.

"W-what? No, no, nothing like that!" Natsume answered quickly, shaking her head. "It's just... it's just that we've heard stories about Anything-Goes, and we've been trying to find the dojo to learn it." She added.

"Sure. Right." Ranma said, sarcastically. "Well, if that's what you say, we are in search of new students." He said, not bothering to add the mocking thought of 'when are we not?', as that was information they didn't need to know. "The dojo master's out right now, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind you coming on down."

Both girls bowed gratefully, and Ranma leapt down to the garden, the two close on his heels. He didn't believe a word of this, but what could he do without proof? All that he could do was wait for his dad and Akane's to get home so he could finally find out just what he was going to have to settle for their worthless hides now...

_In Honest Abe's, Ranma-Prime suddenly rubbed his chin, remembering something. "Weren't they the two girls mentioned in that Ukyo timeline? The one where she bought me off of Nabiki? Aren't they looking for Soun Tendo? ...And doesn't that mean that they're likely to show up in my timeline too?"_

_The Eye began to move forward again..._

Dinner that night was fairly normal, even if the number of people having dinner at the Tendo Dojo was larger then normal. Akane and her father had been surprised to come home and find two strange teenaged girls in their house, but once Ranma had explained that they were wandering martial artists who had heard of the Tendo Dojo and wanted to train here, hastening to add that they had no "deals" of any sort with his father, Genma, Soun Tendo had been all too happy to welcome them. The Tendo Dojo didn't get many students, after all, and the girls seemed nice enough. As Akane accepted an extra portion of her favorite from Ryoga's plate, giving a happy smile at her boyfriend and delighting in the deep blush that resulted, she then turned her attention to the younger of the sisters.

"So, Kurumi, you and your sister have been traveling to hone your martial arts skills? Wow, that's impressive. And you've been doing so on your own?"

The girl nodded brightly, "Mmhm! It's hard work, but Natsume and I do okay, and its fun sparring against all sorts of opponents! It was really fun going up against you Ranma!" The teenage boy nodded as Akane blinked at how rapidly the girl had switched targets before the older sister spoke up, apparently not noticing how her younger sibling was attacking the food in front of her with a gusto that one could really only compare to a starving pack of wolves, to the extent that she had Ranma and Genma, usually the most enthusiastic eaters at the table, eyeing Kurumi and carefully shifting their plates out of reach.

"So Akane, do you study martial arts?"

Akane nodded as the girl, Natsume she remembered her name was, smiled slightly as Akane finished her mouthful and continued verbally, "Yeah, I study martial arts, in fact I'm the heir to the Tendo Dojo." She just couldn't help but put that in to see if that would impress their guests, and promptly shot a vicious glare at Ranma, who seemed to be concealing a snicker. Because of this, she was unaware of a startled widening of the eyes from Natsume and Kurumi both, or the way Natsume's hand trembled before she forced it to be still, her own eyes slitting with determination and glittering with a hard, cruel light.

"That is impressive. So that would mean that you're more skilled than Ranma in a spar?" Ranma suppressed his reaction while Akane blinked before she lowered her eyes slightly, flushing in embarrassment.

"Well...not exactly."

Natsume frowned slightly. "So you haven't matched him in a spar? I'm not asking if you've ever beaten him, just if you're a match for him, because from the spar I had with him, he's quite skilled."

Akane flushed a bit more fiercely but then finally relented with a reassuring look from Ryoga. "Okay, I'm not as good as him- so what? I have a life and my sensei was actually sane, so is it any wonder I'm a little less skilled then he is? Anyone who survived an abusive life like his would be a good fighter- but that's all he's good at." Akane snapped defensively. Akane then narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "So why do you ask, anyway?"

"Just... curious." Natsume replied, her tone making Ranma tense up and shift slightly in his seated position. He just **knew** that there was some trouble rolling in with these girls, and if he was any judge -which he was- then the big boom was going to happen any minute now. The other, more naive members of the table simply sat in awkward silence, until Kasumi finally broke it, though whether because she sensed the tension of because she was just being a polite hostess was impossible to say.

"So, you said you and your sister on a training journey? Why?"

"To live up to a promise." Natsume replied calmly. "Our father told us that we had to become the masters of Women's Anything-Goes Martial Arts."

Everyone else at the table almost choked at those words. When he finally managed to clear his throat, Ranma protested. "But that's impossible! There's no such style- the only families in the world who practice Anything-Goes are the Saotomes and the Tendos!"

"But there's more." Natsume continued as if she hadn't heard Ranma. "Our father said that we must master martial arts in order to inherit the Tendo Dojo."

If the first claim had been a shock, then this was a bombshell. Soun Tendo roared in emotional distress, silencing any comments that might have been made by his friend or the other teens. "What nonsense! Who was this man, to promise you such things?!"

"Our father. Soun Tendo." Natsume stated flatly.

Silence reigned again. Then, as one, everyone's eyes turned to Soun Tendo... who promptly went pale as a sheet. "Just what do you think you're thinking!?" He cried in distress. "Now see here, young lady, what proof could you possibly have to back up such outlandish claims!"

"I have proof right here." Natsume said triumphantly, handing over a photo that, when scrutinized, showed two young girls in dirty, tattered clothes, as a well as a figure with his back to the camera, revealing only that he was wearing a gi with "Anything Goes Martial Arts" written in kanji on the back.

"Oh, father, father." Murmured Kasumi.

"Wow, I didn't know you had it in you, daddy." Nabiki said, actually looking a lot more shocked then her glib tone might have suggested.

"What is the meaning of this, dad?" Akane growled.

"There's some mistake!" Soun pleaded. "You aren't going to convict me on a picture of an Anything-Goes dogi, are you?" He was openly weeping now.

"I gotta say, Mr. Tendo does have a point. That is rather shabby evidence." Ranma pointed out.

"Oh, but there's more! Turn it over, Natsume!" Kurumi chirped. This was done, and everyone stared in disbelief at the kanji revealed, which plainly backed up Natsume's claims. Needless to say, everyone was convinced now, despite Soun's continued protests that this had to be a forgery, and Natsume turned triumphantly to Akane.

"So you see, sister, I'm not only clearly better suited to be the heir to the Tendo Dojo, but it is also my rightful inheritance. Will you relinquish the title to me? Or will we duel to see who is more worthy of it?" She challenged.

Akane eyed her newfound sibling intensely. She was afraid to fight someone who, from both her and Ranma's comments, was clearly strong, but on the other hand she didn't want to relinquish something that was rightfully hers. And then, a plan began to form in her head, not much of a plan, someone else would claim, but any port in a storm, as the saying went...

"Very well, if that's what you want... but you are aware of the agreement between the Saotome and Tendo families, aren't you?" She asked, a faint hint of a predatory smile on her face at Natsume's confused expression. "To unite the schools by engaging the two heirs to marry?"

"...Which means that, if I take your place, I am honor bound to wed Ranma here?" Natsume asked, turning to look at Ranma, who did not look pleased at being discussed like a cheap bauble to be traded back and forth. Then she shrugged and stood up. "Very well, I accept the duty and the responsibility. I will meet you in the dojo."

Her tone was undeniably nonchalant, but it was obvious to anyone she was baiting Akane to react. When nothing happened, she walked away gracefully, her sister trotting along beside her, leaving in her wake a batch of shell-shocked Tendos and Saotomes. It was so silent you could hear a pin drop... and then Ranma promptly exploded.

"What the hell were you thinking, Akane!?" He roared, the entire table cowering back and making warding gestures, though more from shock than from fear- Ranma never carried on like this! The only one exempt was Kasumi, who was also shaking her head disapprovingly at Akane. Ignoring their expressions, Ranma began to make his feelings on this new development quite apparent. "Of all the boneheaded, mule-stubborn, outright dimwitted stunts you've pulled, Akane, this has got to be the downright most...!" He trailed off, apparently unable to even think of a word in his rage. "What on Earth possessed you to do something so stupid?!" He demanded.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Akane apologized frantically, the tiny part of her mind that wasn't gripped in fear commenting wryly about this switch in the usual routine. Had this been what Ranma had felt like whenever she lost her temper? "I thought it would make her back down!" She explained. When Ranma stopped shouting and settled for glaring at her, apparently the best she'd get to a reprieve with the information she'd shared, she hastened to explain. "If she's working some sort of con, then she wouldn't want to be trapped like accepting the engagement would do to her, now would she? I figured that if she's trying to get something without working too hard for it, the thought of having to accept such responsibility would persuade her it wasn't going to work."

Ranma stopped glaring, but continued to scowl, thoughtfully tapping his chin. "I guess it makes sense; I mean, that's what Nabiki's like, and you're her sister, so you should know how she is..."

Ignoring Nabiki's indignant splutterings, Ranma stared at Akane, his scowl now replaced by a grim expression. "If that's the case, though, what are you going to do? She agreed to meet your challenge- do you intend to forfeit?"

"Of course not!" Akane shot back with all the vehemence she could muster. "I'd disgrace the dojo if I did so. I don't care how long she's been traveling, I'm not going to back down from a fight! If I can take those other girls, I can take her!" She proclaimed proudly.

"So you say." Ranma replied wearily, unwilling to point out that she had never beaten any of her previous rivals for Ranma's hand on her own, but unable to just let it go. "But you're wrong on one thing; Natsume's not like the other girls. She's a ki channeler." He warned.

"Are you serious, boy?" Genma asked, an expression of equal parts disbelief, amazement and fear on his face.

"Yep. Her and her sister both are. They can infuse ki into their weapons, make them more dangerous. She can make that carpet beater of hers so cold it burns- I think she was just showing off to me, but be careful, Akane." Ranma said.

Akane blinked, trying to hide her shock; she couldn't remember the last time Ranma had sounded concerned for her. Instead, she turned to her eldest sister. "Don't worry Kasumi, I won't lose." She insisted, trying to sound encouraging about the prospect. As much as she believed that Kasumi really belonged with Dr. Tofu, she couldn't bring herself to hurt her- not any more then she already had.

"It's alright, Akane. Maybe it's for the best. What you said about Ranma marrying the best martial artist of father's daughters makes sense; it is to unite the schools, after all." Kasumi replied, sounding fairly even in her tone.

"Why will no one believe me? They are not my daughters!" Soun sobbed, tears beginning to well in his eyes again.

_"Ki-channeling, that's an impressive skill. I wonder what sort of element I could put into my attacks if I tried?" Ranma-Prime mused on the possibilities for a moment before focusing his attention and the mirror's view on the two sisters after Natsume's short fight with Akane._

"Wow, Natsume, that Akane girl was really stubborn, I thought she was going to outlast you out of pride!" The two sisters were now setting up residence in the dojo after the elder sister had defeated Akane with her greater skill and a few ice-cold blasts from her carpet beater as Kurumi continued, "But then wham! You hit her with those ice attacks and she collapsed like a house of cards!"

Natsume grunted as she laid out her futon, clearly not in a mood nor of a mind to pay much attention to her younger sister's babbling. Truth be told, she felt the fight was a lot less impressive then Kurumi seemed to think it was; her 'sister', Akane Tendo, was pretty sloppy in terms of actual skill- kept leaving herself wide open in her rush to close the distance between herself and Natsume. Okay, maybe she had more strength then she did speed or skill, but what use was that if you couldn't even get in range to hit your opponent? Natsume wondered just how intensely Akane actually bothered to train...

"But I'm worried Natsume, about what she said about marrying that guy, Ranma. Do you really think they're serious about that? That in order to be the Tendo heir you have to marry him? Are you going to go through with it?"

"If I have to, I will." Natsume said, no enthusiasm in her tone, and to her disappointment the words sounded a lot less nobly determined coming out of her mouth then they did in her head.

"Cheer up Natsume, maybe it'll turn out good. I mean; both those boys were really cute, and they were both nice to us, so maybe marrying him- er, whichever one he is, won't be such a bad thing." The look on Kurumi's face told Natsume that she believed every word she was saying.

"...You know, you almost sound smug about this." Natsume hissed to Kurumi, a part of her mind realizing that what she had just said wasn't fair to her sister, but the bitterness was just too much for her to keep swallowing.

"Well...it would be nice to have a home, that's all." Kurumi mumbled, sounding hurt.

Natsume sighed in resignation. "Yes, I know, I was the one who kept us following father's instructions- I'm sorry, Kurumi, but... but this is just more then I bargained for! I mean, it's overwhelming enough that we finally found our father, finally found the home we've been searching for, but to have to leap right into marriage? What's more, I don't even know which of those two boys was Ranma, let alone how he's going to react to being forced to break up with Akane!" She heaved another loud sigh. "It's... it's just... so much to take in, you know?"

Kurumi nodded with her eyes closed, "Well then, there's only one thing to do." She held up a finger as if about to say a wise saying and then, "Lets go to sleep, a good night's sleep will help us think about this clearer and in a better mood!"

She then skipped over to her older sister and hugged her, "Beside Natsume-chan, so long as we're together, everything will be just fine."

Natsume gave a tired smile in return and hugged Kurumi back. Finally, after so many years of traveling Japan on foot, alone, and with no family, friends or income, after so many hardships, so much hunger, cold and suffering, they had found a place where they belonged. And no matter what it took, even if it meant becoming a wife before she'd ever had a chance to be a girlfriend, Natsume would not allow them to be forced back onto the bitter streets.

The next day came quickly, and true to Kurumi's word, Natsume was a better mood as Ranma decided that he should take this opportunity before any interruptions showed up, to have a talk with the elder of the pair after breakfast.

Ranma headed over to the dojo and heard the sounds of training and opened it slightly to observe the two sisters going through intricate katas both alone and as a team and some of the movements Ranma figured had to be related to their Ki-channeling as he waited for them to finish their routines.

As they came to a stop, Ranma smiled as he entered the dojo proper, "Wow, you two are pretty good, no wonder Akane didn't stand a chance against you." He muttered under his breath, "Not like that's ever stopped her before."

"Thank you." Natsume said. She recognized him easily as the boy who had defeated and fed Kurumi yesterday, and whom she had sparred with. She knew he was a skilled martial artist himself, and was quite proud that someone so talented would say the same thing about her. "I'm sorry, but which Saotome are you? I'm afraid we still don't know your name, or your brother's."

Ranma shrugged, "Sorry about that. The name's Ranma, Ranma Saotome." He looked confused for a moment, "And what do you mean by my brother? If you meant that guy from the other day, that was Ryoga and he's more of a...rival of sorts. I'm an only child."

"Oh, I see. I was confused by the fact he was here, and sitting so closely to Akane." Natsume apologized. Still, if this was Ranma, then maybe the engagement wouldn't be so hard to live with after all.

Ranma looked pained for a moment, then waved dismissively, "Nah, that's alright. As for why he was here, he's Akane's boyfriend now. I used to be her fiancée, and then that was switched to Kasumi before you two came along and the engagement got transferred to you." A flicker of emotions, too many and too intertwined to decipher, passed through his eyes at that, "Sorry about that by the way, I didn't think the tomboy would spring that on you just to get you to back down from being Heir and all that."

"I... see." Natsume said, trying to keep a pleasant expression on even as anger began to boil inside her. So, her new sister had been trying to frighten her off? To keep her from the position that was **rightfully** hers, that their father had **promised** would go to her and Kurumi? Oh, sister dear was going to catch an earful from Natsume in the very near future...

Ranma nodded as he locked his arms behind his head, "Ah, truth be told its probably better you're the Heir now, maybe this place will actually get some students now. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here about the engagement."

"Oh? What do you want to talk about?" Natsume said, putting on what she hoped was a bright, cheerful expression. Best to make as good an impression on him as she could- after all, she was already at a disadvantage, having taken him from her sister Akane and bursting into their lives so awkwardly. If her father truly intended for her to wed him, then she would do as he wished- she considered herself a dutiful daughter, and sometimes it had been only her duty to become a strong martial artist that had kept her and Kurumi going with their life on the road.

"Well, I guess the one thing you should know is that thanks to my idiot old man for the most part...and a stupid mistake on mine..." Ranma didn't like saying that Shampoo was his fault, but no amount of blaming Genma would erase the fact that it was Ranma who defeated her, twice in fact, and ended up with her as a fiancée, "I got at least three other fiancées on my ass, so I don't blame you if you don't want to get tangled up in that, its pretty messy for the most part."

"...I see." Natsume said. Three other fiancées? That was not welcome news... but, he didn't seem like some sort of womanizer- he had told her about them straight up, and he certainly didn't look happy about the fact. It looked like there was a story here that needed to be told in further details for her to truly make her decision where she stood, but she decided to set it aside, for now. "What I want doesn't matter. It's what my father wants that counts. If he wants to go through with the engagement, despite the other girls, then I have no choice but to do as he wants."

Ranma looked at Natsume closely, "You sure about that? I know you're a good fighter but that's pretty much all I know about you. And hell, you don't know a thing about me at all. You seriously considering going through an engagement with a guy you have no clue about?"

"So tell me about yourself. What was your training journey like? What dojos have you been to? Do you have any hobbies you like? Favorite foods?" Natsume replied. If she wasn't mistaken, then it seemed her new fiancé might actually be as nervous about this as she was, maybe even more so, and so she felt willing to let the mask of strength she'd been showing to her family slip and let him realize that she, too, was feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all of this.

Ranma blinked for a moment, and then smiled slightly, "Well, since you asked..." He began. For reasons that he couldn't quite voice, it was actually reassuring to see that this fiancée was actually as nervous about the whole deal as he was. He was used to either vehement retaliation or total, overwhelming confidence, both of which tended to catch him up and drag him along.

_"Decent enough beginning, I suppose." Ranma-Prime mused to himself. "But there's a big difference between being told something and actually seeing it. How'd she do when she actually met the other girls for the first time?"_

The scene that came up was quite obviously a date as Ranma and Natsume visited the local cinema but what caught Ranma's attentions were the brief glimpses of Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo stalking after the pair. At first Ranma figured that only his counterpart had noticed them, but the slight glance backwards and narrowed eyes on Natsume's face told him otherwise, she had sensed them as well.

As the movie began, Natsume made an excuse to visit the restroom, and Ranma watched as the girl was quickly followed and cornered.

"And just what is your problem? No, wait, don't tell me; you must be the other girls." Natsume declared, her posture calm and easy, but one hand going to the carpet beater slung over her shoulders nevertheless. Ranma had told her about the other girls who claimed he was supposed to marry them, and warned her that they could be dangerous.

"Who are you calling 'the other girls'? You're the stranger here!" Spat one, a tomboyish one in masculine clothes and wielding a huge spatula.

"That right. Girl what think she can just take Ranma is girl what need be taught a lesson." Declared a lavender-haired Chinese girl, wielding a pair of mace-like weapons that Natsume couldn't identify.

A third girl nodded primly, swirling a gymnastics ribbon in a way that, to Natsume's trained eye, was undeniably menacing. "Indeed. I don't know what delusion you happen to be suffering under, but if you think we will stand back and allow an outsider to come in and re-ignite the duplicitous contract forged between Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome, when it was so close to finally dying, then you are sadly mistaken."

"The deal between my father and Genma Saotome is a matter of family honor; I will not step aside." Natsume replied levelly, now unslinging her weapon and readying to strike.

"Do you take us for fools, girl? I would sooner believe Akane Tendo to be a mistress of the black arts then I would that Soun Tendo had the spine to cheat on his wife." Declaimed the ribbon-wielder.

Natsume knew what she was getting confronted by bullies, she hated those kind of people who though they could intimidate Kurumi and her to get what they wanted. Well, there was only one way out of this situation, and that was to take the offensive.

These girls were likely looking to take her out anyway, so why play the game by their rules? After all, turnabout is fair play. Figuring that they were likely to underestimate her due to her claim to being the sibling of Akane Tendo, who was the only martial arts practicing Tendo native to Nerima, she focused the icy ki into her carpet beater and swung it at full strength, hurling a freezing cold cannon blast of wind at her enemies. Caught off guard, it slammed into the Chinese girl and knocked her straight through the wall, leaving her sprawled unconscious and chilled to the bone in the foyer.

Taking advantage of the fact the other two were stunned by this display, she lunged at the ribbon-wielder, all too familiar from her travels with her sister with how dangerous such a fighter could be. With the speed that Natsume reacted, she was inside of the range of Kodachi's ribbon just as the Kuno girl snapped back to her senses. Switching to a gymnastics club for melee combat cost Kodachi precious seconds, and with the greater reach of Natsume's carpet beater, it was simple for her to deliver a concussive blow to Kodachi. In turn, however, she only just managed to pull her weapon into a blocking position as Ukyo seized the advantage and struck.

Back and forth the two struck, dodged and parried, carpet beater against spatula, until the two weapons locked together, each girl straining to push the other away. Natsume's mind raced, and then she hit upon a plan, channeling as much cold ki into her weapon as she could, cooling the metal of her opponent's weapon until it was so cold it burned, forcing her to drop it with a yelp of equal parts shock and pain. Natsume stared the crossdresser in the eyes until she backed away, rubbing at her stinging hands and glaring hatefully at the heir to the Tendo School.

"This isn't over." She hissed.

"Yes. It is." Natsume retorted, slinging her weapon back over her shoulders and heading back to the movie.

_"Okay, I don't mind the couple, but can you answer me one question?" Ranma-Prime asked. "Are they __**really**__ Soun Tendo's illegitimate daughters? While she might have been a bit crude about it, that version of Kodachi had a point- I can't really picture Soun as the type to get another woman pregnant, never mind abandoning her kids to raise themselves after she died. He can be a bit full of himself, but he does seem to love the girls he has, so I really can't imagine him just discarding his own children."_

_The mists rose, and when they fell..._

"What!" Erupted from six outraged, indignant, disbelieving throats as Happosai held up his proof. A photograph of two little girls, dirty and ragged, but cheerful, standing on either side of a proud, gi-clad, Happosai.

"I told you I was the one who found and saved them! Why wouldn't you believe me? Do you think I'd let a couple of kids die just because I wouldn't get paid for it?" The old lecher asked indignantly.

"...So you're the one who trained us?" Kurumi said, half in disbelief, half in horror.

"...Which means **you're** the one who claimed to be Soun Tendo and told them that they were going to inherit the Tendo Dojo?" Ranma growled, currently in female form courtesy of a certain underwear stealing, breast groping mutant midget of a martial arts master.

"So what if I did?" Happosai sniffed. "I gave two helpless little orphan girls the skills they'd need to survive, a dream to chase, and a reason to hone their talents! You should all be thanking me for what I did!"

"Wow, I guess the mind really does block out painful memories." Nabiki deadpanned.

Soun, meanwhile, wailed for who-knew-what reasons. "How could anyone confuse me for him?!" He sobbed.

"So that... so that means... means we're not Tendos?" Natsume asked, voice quavering, a tremor running up her body.

"No, I'm afraid not. But come to my arms, and I'll make you my granddaughter!" Happosai crowed, leaping at Natsume with his usual perverse eagerness... only to be swatted out of the air with a carpet beater by the teenaged girl, who promptly fled in tears.

"Natsume?!" The name came from both Ranma and Kurumi's throats, but it was the boy-turned-girl who went after her.

Ranma found Natsume curled up in a ball in a corner of the dojo, silent as the grave. Struck by an inappropriate feeling of deja vue (for her stance was the same one he adopted when he was feeling overwhelmed, like after that terrible incident with Mikado Sanzenine), he shrugged it off and walked over quietly behind her. "Natsume..." he began softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Natsume flinched at the contact, looking up at Ranma with tear-streaked eyes, "Ranma? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you were alright." Ranma said softly, swearing inside his head the moment the words left his mouth- could he have possibly said anything worse at this moment?

Natsume giggled, a bitter sound that had no right coming from her throat, "Alright? I suppose I'm alright, for a girl who just wasted half her life on a promise that was never true."

Ranma said nothing- what was there to say? He just knelt down beside her and hugged her, trying to offer what little comfort and support through it he could, having never been the recipient of such an act himself.

Natsume didn't move as she felt Ranma's arms around her, "I suppose this means the engagement between you and me is off right?"

"Only if you want it to be." Ranma said, unable to keep his heart from pounding harder at both her words and his. Did she really want to give up the engagement? Ranma had several girls after his heart before, but not even with Akane had he felt the sort of bond he and Natsume had developed in their weeks together.

Natsume smiled sadly, "I don't want it to be over. But how could I marry you if I'm not a true Tendo?"

"I don't care if you're a Tendo or not- you're Natsume, and that's all I care about." Ranma replied, quickly and emphatically.

Natsume looked up at Ranma, eyes shining with unshed tears, "Do you mean it? Truly?"

"I do. You stood beside me, even after you found out I was only half a man. How can I not stand beside you now?"

Natsume smiled, and leaned up to peck Ranma lightly on the cheek, "Thank you."

As the scene faded away, Ranma leaned back on his impromptu seat, the Eye angled away from him as he closed his eyes and for a long time just sat there thinking about what he had just seen and experienced and he began to compare his current life values and priorities up to this point. Suffice to say, it didn't look good for him as the teen sat there in contemplation.

Finally he opened his eyes and smiled sadly to himself. "Maybe there's more to this romance stuff that I thought." If Honest Abe was in earshot then he stayed silent as Ranma shifted and brought the mirror up again, but instead of immediately delving into the timelines, he simply just started at the cloudy surface for awhile as the rain kept pounding down outside.

_And, with that, only three further chapters remain to complete this story. So, rather then having you vote for which ones come next, we decided that we'd let you see the synopsis's for the stories we have planned in the future, and decide by vote which one we shall pursue first once Another Rainy Day In Nerima has drawn to a close. Remember, most votes will determine which one gets the most attention to it first, so if there's one that appeals to you, then let me know about it._

_Our first option, of course, is the sequel to Another Rainy Day. Called 'Chasing the Rainbow', this is the desired storyline where Ranma, fresh from his examinations of the Eye of Zygyg, decides to make some changes to his life and pursue his own happy ending._

_Secondly, we have another attempt at the Ranma/Shampoo serial, and a spin-off of the ARD continuity. For now referred to as, simply, 'Ranma's Rewind', it covers Ranma getting a very literal second chance, thanks to the Eye. Ranma intends to make his second/first trip to Nerima peaceful... but somehow things just aren't going as planned. Hopefully ours will be a unique take on the whole "Ranma gets a second try" category of fanfiction._

_Option three is 'Legends of Aeron', a project many months in development. Our first ever attempt at a serial three-way matchup (Ranma with Shampoo and Ukyo), it is also an homage to Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition, as well as our first jointly-written, jointly-developed Ranma crossover fanfiction._

_If you like the idea of us doing a Ranma/Shampoo fanfic, but Ranma's Rewind doesn't sound to your taste, then we have a fanfiction we call, simply, 'The Journey'. Having its roots in the Random Tales oneshot "A Not-So Happy Reunion", this fanfic will cover Ranma and Shampoo's trials and experiences as they roam across Japan, evading Genma, getting into all sorts of trouble, and trying to sort out the feelings they are beginning to develop for each other._

_Finally, is a horse of a different color. As I managed to create two successful Ranma/Kodachi oneshots for this serial, and as I've seen and been inspired by the existence of other Ranma/Full Metal Panic! crossovers, Dark Whispers is our own take on the idea._


	20. Mutual Benefits

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** you know, it's really surprising- not just how popular this serial as a whole has been, but also that nobody has complained at all about my usage of characters unique to the anime, even though I originally had a few people saying I should work with the manga instead. I'm truly amazed at how overwhelmingly positive the response was to my last chapter.  
The-Jaron: Dunsparce is apparently based on a Japanese cryptid, a snake-creature called a "Tsuchinoko".  
Musichowler: you're correct, Happosai was meant to complain that Ling-Ling & Lung-Lung were flat-chested, but that error somehow slipped through.  
I've had a few people ask this, so I'll repeat it here. "A Different Route Taken" was deleted due to the fact I had problems with it. A revised version of the initial oneshot format, with reasons for deletion of the serial, can be found in my anthology "Random Tales". I may or may not resurrect the idea as a serial; it depends on things like how popular the other two Ranma/Shampoo serial possibilities turn out to be.

Chapter 18: Mutual Benefits

_"You know, it seems like every time a girl gets an edge in this little war they've got going on, she invariably comes out on top a short while later. Are there any timelines where it gives her an opening to exploit, but doesn't guarantee victory?" Ranma asked._

_The Eye chimed confidently, images beginning to appear in its glass, of Ranma and Shampoo leaping from the backs of alligators and from tiny islands, standing unusually close together as they did so. It took Ranma a moment to remember this, and then he realized that he was seeing the Zekkyo hot springs obstacle course. At the time, he had only considered the disaster of it to be a perfect waste of a cure- after all, what was the point in giving a ticket to Ryoga, who'd never use it? But, now that he looked back on it, he and Shampoo were working together quite well, neither getting in each other's way, fighting with each other, putting each other off balance, or otherwise hindering themselves in their attempt to reach the finish line. If it hadn't been for Shampoo choosing to fight Ukyo after she and Ryoga caught up and provoked a fight with Mousse, Ranma would never have thought of switching to a different girl in his impatience. He watched as the Eye brought him to that fateful moment as Mousse's dagger zipped between his counterpart and Shampoo's heads. From this position, he was able to see the urge to continue on in order to impress Ranma war with Shampoo's rage at being attacked and desire to prove her superiority over her main rival (in her eyes). Fate wavered on the proverbial coin toss…_

Shampoo wanted to hurt that insolent Ukyo, and that stupid Mousse as well, but after a second that felt like an eternity, she managed to push that aside and concentrate on the reality of the situation. She had Ranma, willingly fighting at her side, working with her in a synchronicity that proved (she felt) that they were meant to be, but if she stopped to delay… Ranma could be so impatient when his cure was involved, so the possibility that he would abandon her for the delay rang out in her mind like a bell. No, it would be far better to carry on ahead, to win this, and then rub her victory in the faces of her enemies. With that she and Ranma continued leaping on ahead, bounding effortlessly from alligator to alligator while the sounds of fighting erupted from behind them- Ryoga and Mousse battering and swearing at each other, while Ukyo and Akane shouted at them and tried to stop the fighting.

"Man, glad we didn't get caught up in that mess." Ranma said.

"Ranma say it. This way, we win for sure." Shampoo said, beaming with happiness at the growing conviction that she'd made the right decision.

With their skills, the angry alligator pond quickly fell behind them and the two found themselves passing through a tunnel through some hills, the next obstacle doubtlessly on the other side. Inside, they paused for a second to examine a curious discovery; a basket full of clothes.

"Guess these must be for people who had their gear damaged with those crocs." Ranma put forth.

"Most likely… but something not right about these things…" Shampoo muttered. Curious, she reached out and touched one, then her eyes narrowed and she began picking each item up. "Iron geta? Lead obi? Yukata woven with chains?" She said in disbelief. "What these doing here? Shampoo see similar used in China for strength training… but that no explain why they here in hot springs."

"Probably some kind of trap- I got the feeling these games are rigged. Come on." Ranma said, causing Shampoo to drop the metal clothing back in the basket and turn with him. The tunnel led to daylight, a large patch of sand surrounded by rocky outcroppings and with a wooden platform on the other side. Ranma stopped and squinted, raising a palm to shade his eyes for a better view. "I think this might be the last obstacle; we cross this, and we're home free!"

"Is probably sinking sand." Shampoo replied. "That explain metal clothing back there- make it impossible to get through… hmm… Ranma ever try wall-running?"

Ranma looked confused by the change in subject for a split second, then turned his eyes back to the walls surrounding the sand pit and a cocky grin lit up his face. "Let's do it!"

A moment to bend and flex the necessary muscles, a few deep breaths, and then the two started running as hard and as fast as they could, racing to the wall and transferring their feet from floor to wall in mid stride, depending on sheer speed, momentum and their skills at clinging to the cracks and indentations in the stone to keep them from falling, the world whipping by at an angle most humans would never see as they ran for all their worth.

"We not gonna make it!" Shampoo shouted, feeling her footing beginning to slacken; she wouldn't be able to keep herself running horizontally for much longer, and they were only halfway along the wall.

"Yes, we will!" Ranma enthused, nothing but confidence in his voice. "Jump!" He thundered, and the two sprang forward with all of their strength, just managing to cover enough of the remaining distance that they fell heavily upon the wooden platform, knocking the wind out of themselves. For a few moments they laid there, panting to catch their breath, then they shared almost identical grins.

"What a rush…" Shampoo breathed, the grin never leaving her face.

"Yeah… hey, I think that's the finish line! We're almost there!"

Fresh vigor poured into their veins and they thrust themselves upright, racing towards the promise of a cure even as, behind them, Akane and Ukyo emerged from the tunnel and began racing across the sand trap… only to start sinking.

_"This is all well and good…" Ranma-prime began. "But there's no way they're going to win, now is there? Ryoga's got enough dumb luck for two people- I mean, yeah, it does tend to be dumb bad luck, but he also gets dumb good luck. He's going to have a fit of that, get lost, and them stumble out right through the goal from the other side. Right? …What do you mean I'm wrong?!" He asked incredulously._

_The Eye promptly showed him the end results of Mousse and Ryoga's battle, which kept going even after the girls gave up on them and teamed up to win the race for themselves. They only stopped fighting when they accidentally fell into the water- it was a good thing for them that this marsh was made from hot water, or they would have doubtlessly met a rather swift and gruesome end. As it was, in the confusion as they battled the alligators, both of them got separated and, in Ryoga's case, swiftly got lost._

"I don't believe it!" Ranma snarled loud enough for Shampoo to hear as they saw the finish line, and then saw it begin to draw further and further away, as if it was retreating from them as two men came into view, "The bastards are trying to tire us out and stop us winning!"

Shampoo grimaced before she saw something on the path that made her smirk evilly, "Not if Shampoo have something to say."

Shampoo kicked up a rock and, with barely a moment of calculation, sent the hard projectile spinning through the air towards the goal. Like a bowler throwing a perfect 7-10 Split, she succeeded in ricocheting the rock off the heads of both men, sending them to the ground and leaving the goal line fluttering enticingly on the wind. With only a glance back at the chaos in the background, the pair nodded to each other and dashed for their lives before the people carrying the goal recovered, though Shampoo kicked another rock seemingly at random while glancing to the side as they were halfway there, smirking in satisfaction at the pained yelp that met her effort before the pair crossed the line and slowed to a stop. Ranma took a deep breath before looking back with a bit of awe in his voice, "Damn...we actually won."

The Zekkyo officials regained consciousness with pained groans, both physical and emotional. As bad as the lumps on their heads were, the fact that they had lost the race and now their entire budget was forfeit was even worse. They shivered as they felt a chill race down their spines, unwillingly turning their heads to see the two winners, no longer tied together, standing over them and looking very menacing indeed.

"Hey there, fellas..." Ranma began, cracking his knuckles.

"We is wanting talk with you..." Shampoo finished.

_Ranma-Prime chose that moment to pull out, deciding to skip past whatever legal dealings (and beatings) were required and head right to the spot where his counterpart got ready to board a plane to China._

"Son, I hope you know what you're getting into here."

Ranma shrugged as he packed for the trip to the airport, the first step on his trip to and through China.

"Best chance one of us has to get cured, pops, and I doubt the old crone's gonna have some sorta welcoming committee waiting, since she has to know the kind of fuss you guys'll put up if we don't come straight back. Besides, don't you trust me?"

Genma snorted at the innocent tone in Ranma's voice. "I trust you as far as I can throw you boy, it's the girl I'm more worried about. Watch your back."

Ranma nodded half-heartedly. "Geez, it's like you're expecting Shampoo to put a knife in my back the moment we land in China." Satisfied with his packing, Ranma hefted his pack onto his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it pops, I can take care of myself. Besides, it's only Shampoo and me with the free tickets, and Cologne and Mousse have to run the Nekohanten anyway, so it ain't like there's anyone else tagging along." The two men nodded slowly, not convinced but mollified sufficiently by the explanation as the teen walked out,

The trip to the airport was uneventful, and while Shampoo latched onto him the moment he arrived, she calmed down enough that they could get through customs without too many strange looks.

"Shampoo too-too happy to be going with Airen." Ranma suppressed a groan in his voice as the bluenette latched onto his arm again, drawing stares and many of them jealous ones to the pair.

"I glad you're happy about getting rid of your curse Shampoo, but could you let go for a minute, I need to check where we need to go to board the plane. Thank the kami I don't have to swim to China again." As he extricated his arm from the girl's grip and fished out his boarding pass, Ranma's eyes flicked to a nearby timetable and he checked the time just as the intercom chimed.

"Attention all passengers, Flight JLA Nine-Two-Seven is now boarding at Gate Twelve. Attention all passengers, Flight JLA Nine-Two-Seven is boarding at Gate Twelve."

Ranma's eyes widened, "Crap, that's our flight, we better get a move on!" With that the two teenagers dashed to catch their plane.

_Ranma-Prime chose that moment to pull out. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded in decision. "Just show me the best 'bonding moments' those two shared on their trip, would you? I'm more curious about how they found the opportunity to bond on this trip then anything else." The Eye chimed happily and promptly obliged._

Shampoo bit back a sigh and wriggled unhappily in her chair. She had found being mailed to Japan a boring experience, but about the only difference between then and now was that she had a bit more room to stretch out here. Naturally she hadn't hesitated to claim a seat by her beloved and ever-so-stubborn husband, but, though she could barely bring herself to say it, even being able to cuddle up beside him and hold onto his arm in a romantic fashion -the most she could do in this sort of environment- grew kind of boring after three or four hours of doing nothing but that. She was an active girl, used to always being busy, either at work, training, or chasing after Ranma. Sitting still for so long was driving her to distraction. Then again, from the way Ranma was slouching into his free hand, his empty fingers tapping restlessly on the armrest, it looked like she wasn't alone in her boredom. Finally, she thought of something to say- the unfortunate truth of the matter was that her husband wasn't just shy about returning her affections; he was very shy about so much as talking to her. She hardly knew anything about him. She even had her suspicions that Akane Tendo didn't know all that much more then she did either. This would be a good opportunity to kill two birds with one stone...

"So, Ranma looking forward to get to China?" She asked.

Ranma nodded absently, "Yeah, I can finally get rid of this stupid curse and not have to worry about something screwing it up."

"That not what Shampoo mean. Shampoo know Ranma not like curse, or when come to Shampoo village, but surely Ranma have other memories of China? Good memories, no?" She clarified, trying not to blush as she recalled their disastrous first encounter ever, and then wondering if maybe she should have let herself do so, in order to prove that she was embarrassed by it as well.

Ranma blinked as he focused on Shampoo a little more, "Eh, some good ones I guess. The scenery was good, food was pretty decent as well and the locals were friendly enough until pop started stealing from them..." He shuddered slightly at the memories.

"Stupid old man ever do anything that not cause you problems? Why Ranma put up with panda-man anyway? No have other relatives could train with?" Shampoo asked.

"Dunno if I have any on pop's side, and I know that my mom is dead, or she ran off from him."

Shampoo blinked, disconcerted by the calm tone Ranma said those words with. "...That not bother you? ...And how you know it not old panda who run out on her?"

"You've seen my pops, the moment responsibility comes along he dumps it on someone else and heads for the hills. Except that he took me along on the training trip instead of leaving me with my mom, and he wouldn't have done that if he just wanted to run away. Besides, pops isn't going to abandon a wife if it means he gets someone to wait on him hand and foot, he looks out for good deals like that and what better deal than a woman willing to put up with him long enough to have me?"

Ranma shrugged and turned to look out the window again, "Eh, doesn't matter anyway, I don't remember anything about her so why bother wondering if she's alive or not?"

"So... Ranma have no parents either? That so sad..." Shampoo murmured, though not softly enough that Ranma couldn't hear her.

"Huh? You don't have any parents?" Ranma shifted to glance at the bluenette, "You mind me asking what happened to them?

"Shampoo really prefer not to talk about it... but you is Shampoo's airen, and you answer Shampoo's question. Shampoo's mother was... was Healer. Very gentle, very pretty. Kasumi rather remind Shampoo of her, to be honest. Shampoo learn Warrior skills from Shampoo's father- Shampoo related to great-grandmother through him. Mother get sick when Shampoo only little girl- bad sickness come to village, and mother having new baby, so she weaker then normal." Shampoo stopped there and looked out of the window. "Sickness make baby come too-too soon. Baby die. Mother die soon after. Then, Shampoo's father find out enemy of tribe spread sickness to us on purpose, make us weak. He want revenge, leave village alone, tell nobody what he do. Come back with enemy head... but mortally wounded. He die of poisoned wounds, buried with Shampoo's mother, with Shampoo's little brother. Great-grandmother take over raising Shampoo after that." She finished.

Ranma was silent for a few seconds before, "I'm sorry to hear that, they sound like good people." With that, he returned to looking out the window.

_Ranma-Prime looked thoughtful for a minute as he processed the information, then decided not to bring it up unless he had good reason to before switching his attention to seeing another moment in time for the pair._

"Okay, so all I have to do is to guess the total number of our fingers?" Shampoo nodded with a smile.

"Is good for reflexes and quick thinking. Score two points for correct guess, one for near guess and nothing if wrong. First to ten is winner."

Ranma shrugged with a smile, "Sure, lets do it." He cracked his knuckles and got ready to play as the train headed for the town of Golmud on the second leg of their journey.

To his chagrin, he lost twice before he was able to start matching Shampoo, who proved very quick on the draw as Ranma-Prime drew back in amusement.

Golmud was, by China's standards, a fairly average town, full of fairly average people. Wu and his gang, which mainly consisted of bored, thuggish, bullying youths with no real jobs and a vicious streak, considered themselves better then average people. As was their wont, they were prowling the streets they considered their territory, looking for foolish and wealthy folks to mug. Wu made his boys halt when he caught sight of two strangers waiting impatiently at the bus stop, no other potential victims in sight. One was a pretty Chinese girl with long, blue hair -probably some kind of whore, particularly with a figure like **that**- and the other was a foreigner... a Japanese girl with red hair. Probably some halfbreed slut. He grinned at his fellows and sauntered on over.

"Hello ladies..." He began.

The blue-haired girl looked him up and down like a piece of filth, then snorted in disdain and told him... well, saying that she'd told him to piss off would be the politest interpretation.

"Aw, come on girls, don't be like that..." He began, reaching out to grab hold of the Chinese girl's shoulder. Which was when he yelped in pain as his hand was seized in a bonecrunching grip, right before a kick landed square in his sternum and sent him flying to land on his backside with a painful thud. All thoughts of being nice fled and he yelled the order to attack, flicking out his switchblade and charging the girls. He barely had time to blink before the girls suddenly exploded into action, and the last thing he remembered was a dainty fist approaching his face at high speed...

"Sheesh, what pathetic muggers." Ranma-chan complained. "What did that guy say, anyway?"

"Just stupid pickup lines." Shampoo replied. "Uh... Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"Shampoo not mind beating snot out of punks... but why we steal everything they have? Shampoo mean, could understand taking their money, but their weapons and all their jewels?"

"Hey, it's what the old man taught me to do." The boy-turned-girl answered with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.

"Shampoo just never need to go that far before."

"Eh, it's not like I like doing it. Besides, scum like that deserve everything they get."

The bus finally pulled into the stop, bringing the conversation to an end as both of the martial artists boarded, unconcerned with the battered, unconscious muggers they left strewn like human garbage in their wake.

_Ranma-Prime chuckled at the sight before moving to another point forward in time, showing the pair setting up camp likely quite a fair way into their journey. Ranma-Prime watched as his counterpart happily helped set everything up, but as soon as it got to the task of cooking their next meal, he refused, much to the confusion of Shampoo. She looked clearly puzzled for a moment before smiling, and Ranma-Prime decided to look closer on the situation._

"Ah, Shampoo get it, Ranma no can cook. Is nothing to be ashamed of; Shampoo teach you how." Shampoo said brightly, happy to have figured out a reason why Ranma was acting this way.

Ranma twitched angrily. "I can cook just fine." He snapped. "It's just… I mean, I just… it's the curse, alright!? I… I'm afraid of it." He finally admitted.

"What you mean?" Shampoo asked hesitantly. She was truly dumbfounded by this revelation, but she had to press on- that Ranma would be willing to share such a secret with her was a definite sign that he was starting to trust her. More importantly then that, she was concerned for him.

Ranma was silent for a long moment, his final words seeming to hang in the air. Then, slowly, he began to speak. "I… I know it doesn't really make sense, specially with me turning on the sweet 'n' innocent act to scam Ryoga or Kuno or Happosai when I need to, but I'm scared that if I start acting more of a girl, I'll start becoming more of a girl. Up here, I mean." He added, tapping his head. "Specially since that incident over a month ago…"

"What incident?" Shampoo insisted, in the dark here, but steadily getting more unnerved. Outside of the whole cat thing, she'd never met anyone as brave as Ranma, and she knew that he tended to just brush off things that most people would find traumatic. The fact he hadn't tried to kill Genma yet for all the crap the stupid panda put him through was proof of that.

Ranma clammed up, apparently not having intended to say that. He and Shampoo stared at each other for several minutes, neither budging, until finally Ranma sighed and shook his head. "Alright, alright, if you really want to know..."

"Shampoo do." The bluenette stated.

Ranma ignored her, and began to speak, a far-away look in his eyes.

"Me an' pops were training one morning, and we got carried away and I sort of pushed Akane face-first into her homemade slop. She didn't like that, and came out swinging a frying pan- I dodged, but I tripped on the edge of the koi pond and fell in, smacking my head pretty badly on a rock as I did. I don't personally remember a thing about what happened directly after that, but according to Akane, my head got all scrambled- I remembered who everyone was and all that, but I started thinking of myself as a real girl. Perfect little homemaker, she said." Ranma spat, equal parts anger, disgust and self-loathing dripping from the first three words of that sentence.

"I apparently found nothing better then cooking and cleaning and talking about 'girly' stuff, like flower arranging- I was also some sort of sissy, so much that I fainted when Akane cut her finger in the kitchen and told the old man that I wanted to quit being a martial artist."

Shampoo gasped in equal parts shock and horror. Ranma, her Ranma, giving up martial arts? Such a mockery could not be!

Apparently not registering Shampoo's reaction, Ranma continued on. "Oh, you should have heard Nabiki gloating about how she could hear the 'other me' howling from the next floor down, whining about never being able to become a bride after they poured hot water over me to try and snap me out of it."

Shampoo choked at that nightmarish image.

"And I still see Happosai wailing over how he was so close to getting everything he ever wanted from my girl side, as she was such a wimp that she was ready to give him anything he wanted if he'd stop crying, in my darkest nightmares." Ranma looked queasy for a moment at the mere memory, only to be drawn out of his own musings when Shampoo's aura suddenly exploded into visibility, brighter and stronger then he'd ever seen from her.

"**Why?!"** She thundered. "Why no one come for our help? You know we know Xi Fa Xiang Gao, it obvious we can help unbend minds, so why ignore us when you need us?!" She took several deep breaths, evidently aiming to calm down, finally managing to dull her aura to a simmering shimmer. "So how you get cured?"

"…Not too sure, to be honest. Like I said, I don't personally remember a thing that happened when I was mind-bent, but my memories kick back in with me sopping wet, in the koi pond, the back of my head killing me and Akane glowering down at me. I figure she must have finally lost control and hit me back into the pond, smacking the wits back into me." Ranma admitted at last. "But, you can see why…"

"Oh, yes, Shampoo can see all too well." The Chinese Amazon said, her aura flickering out. "Shampoo know it probably not help, but just so Ranma know, Ranma not only one who have that fear. Shampoo also have nightmares where curse takes over, where Shampoo is gone and is only cat left behind, that Shampoo can only watch as body hunts mice and ruts with tomcats. Shampoo understand Ranma's fear too-too well."

There was silence between the two teenagers after their confessions before Ranma came over and gently hugged Shampoo, who immediately hugged back as the pair sat in silence and took solace from the other, knowing that they shared the same fears and didn't condemn them for it as the mists came in around the touching moment as Ranma-Prime drew back.

_Ranma-Prime pulled away, exhaling heavily under the weight of his emotions. Private as he was by nature, he had learned to keep things to himself even more intensely since coming to Nerima, as it often just led to worse problems. Look at how Akane had mocked him for learning that Mikado had stolen his first kiss, for example. But had that blinded him to the fact that there were some things he could share, with the right person? He spent several long minutes mulling over that thought, then decided to look at one last moment from their journey, the last night they needed to spend camping before they reached Jusenkyo on the morrow..._

"You know, all things considered, this has been a fun trip." Ranma was staring up at the stars as they compared constellations in the night sky on the final leg of their trip to Jusenkyo. In fact, they were on a cliff face that displayed a stunning vista with the cursed springs as the center point of it all in the distance. Stretching out on top of his sleeping bag, he turned his head to Shampoo nearby, "So what are we going to do before we head back to Beijing? I mean, is there anything you want to see before we head back?"

Shampoo's gaze flickered over to her reluctant fiancé, though her face remained angled to point at the sky. "Shampoo not really know. Would like to go back home, see all Shampoo cousins... but Shampoo not allowed to without great-grandmother's permission. Shampoo technically banished, after all. What about you? Ranma want see more of Shampoo's homeland before go home?"

Ranma nodded, "Sure, pops and I never got to see much of the country, what with him stealing from people, tossing me literally to the wolves and that one time he stole something from a PLA base that had us getting chased by soldiers for a few days." He shuddered at the memory, "Say what you will about soldiers, but you do not want to piss them off. The commander himself kept on our tail for a month before he finally gave up and by that time we were near Jusenkyo."

"...What on earth could stupid panda possibly want from military base? Shampoo thought not even he like military rations..." The Chinese girl asked, unable to resist despite the fact that, knowing as much as she did about Genma, she knew it was better not to ask.

"Well...there was this visiting General see? And pops saw that the guy's decorations were real gold and well...lets just say we were lucky to be out of range of the artillery by the time they organized themselves." Ranma scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, he had warned Genma that stealing the gold decorations off the uniform of the General wearing them would only get them in trouble.

Shampoo stared for the longest moment, then shook her head slowly. "Shampoo not sure which Shampoo feel more; appalled he could be so stupid, or impressed he could pull it off."

Ranma nodded as he returned to watching the stars, "Join the club."

As the pair settled into silence, Ranma-Prime pulled away with an expression indicative of a person who had been given something very important to consider before Honest Abe showed up, "Hey, just got word over the radio, they say the storm's beginning to lighten up, looks like you'll be out of here soon."

Ranma nodded, more focused on the mirror than the announcement that he could soon leave without drowning.

_Well, we've made this far, and there's only two chapters left to go. So, that means it's time to start considering the next project. The basic details for the possibilities can be found in chapter 19 (when using the drop-down box), but I'll relist the names here. Vote for the one(s) you want us to write next._

_Chasing The Rainbow  
Ranma's Rewind  
Legends of Aeron  
The Journey  
Dark Whispers_

_Remember, the choice with the most votes is the one we'll concentrate on writing once Another Rainy Day in Nerima is complete._


	21. Impulsive Decisions

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** firstly, to all who pointed out that Shampoo's father is alive and well in the manga; I was well aware of that fact, but he does so very little (I think his distressed cry when Shampoo gets her curse is the only line he speaks) that, coupled with the fact he is completely absent from the anime continuity, I felt free to make up my own rendition for Shampoo's family, seeing as how I custom-designed my own take on Joketsuzoku in an earlier chapter.

A part of me wants to make a big speech about this story, but that's probably better reserved for the final chapter (or the scrapheap). In short, I'm delighted that this story has been as well received as it has, I'm grateful to everyone who bothered to read my crazed ramblings, and if there's anything about this that has disappointed me, it's the fact that I still seem to be the only one writing Ranma/Natsume, or whoever- and that the only non Ranma/Akane pairing there seems to be on the first page now is Ranma/Ryoga… yech!

Chapter 19: Impulsive Decisions

It was mere chance that did it, solely probability that Ukyo was looking where she was at that point in time and thus able to see what couldn't be anything else other then the moxibustion chart fall out of Happosai's shirt as he lunged at Ranma in the general melee. Disbelief and anger that the old pervert would be foolish enough to bring something so valuable to a fight welled within her, part of her saying to leave this to Ranma- as he would surely be upset at her interfering with one of his fights, the other saying that she should run in and grab it before Happosai retrieved it- or, worse, Ranma created the Hiryu Shoten Ha and the winds ripped the ancient parchment to worthless shreds. It was the latter impulse that dominated, pushing her up and away from her position behind the portable grill she had brought along. She might have seen Akane rise to her feet and start forward as well, but she would never be able to confirm it. Whether it was because Ukyo was faster, or maybe Akane tripped in the scrum, it was the heir to the Kuonji School of Martial Arts Okonomiyaki who made it to the battlefield and triumphantly snatched up the chart.

"What's wrong, son-in-law? Finish the move!" Came the voice of the ancient Chinese woman Cologne. Well aware that it was unusual for Ranma to have taken so long to set off the tornado as it was, wondering if maybe it was her presence that had caused Ranma to delay, Ukyo hastily rammed the chart down the front of her shirt (idly thankful for her breast bindings, which would spare her the horrible sensation of having her breasts scratched all over by the old paper) and took off as fast as she could.

"Ya shouldn't oughta've ganged up on me!" Ranma cried, spurring Ukyo to run faster. "Hiryu Shoten Ha!" He screamed in triumph, Ukyo just managing to leap clear as the wind suddenly exploded into a full-fledged cyclone, the whirling outer winds catching her and hurling her aside like a plaything as the central vortex carried all of Ranma's enemies aloft. Pushing herself to her knees, she shook her head dazedly, then looked at what her fiancé had wrought.

"Wow." Was all she could think to say.

Ranma stared at the winds above him, unable to do anything but whistle in appreciation at the sight before the winds finally died down and he yelped as four shapes smashed back into the ground, leaving small craters. As though that was a signal, the students charged forwards with shovels, half digging a deep pit, the other half getting ready to unceremoniously shove them into the pit until Ranma whistled sharply, "Hold it for a minute!"

Stepping over the unconscious group, Ranma grabbed Happosai and stepped back, "Okay, go ahead." A cheer rose up from the students as they promptly buried the principal, Kuno, and Mousse right there and then as Ukyo walked over to Ranma who was currently trying without success to awaken the old pervert.

"Here Ranchan, let me help." Taking the pervert, Ukyo's hand whipped out and smashed Happosai across the face in a powerful slap before dropping the pervert to the ground as he groaned and clutched his cheek.

"Owie..." Happosai barely had time to blink as he was grabbed by the front of his shirt and staring into Ranma's furious eyes.

"Okay you old letch, where's the chart?" Happosai sighed before he reached into his gi...and paused with a look of fright on his face.

"It's here! I swear I put it in here! Where is it?" Ranma dropped Happosai in disbelief as the pervert began searching his clothing frantically, a horrible realization beginning to form in his mind.

"Ranchan? Could I talk to you for a moment?" Ranma nodded in a daze and walked over to where Ukyo was standing and was about to speak when Ukyo tugged her shirt, the article of clothing opening just enough to let Ranma get a glimpse of a roll of old paper. Ranma's eyes widened and he was about to shout when Ukyo put a finger to both her lips and his to shut him up.

Once sure he wouldn't blab within earshot of the frantic Happosai, Ukyo simply stated, "You owe me." Ranma nodded and stood back to watch Happosai work himself into a frenzied panic.

They both stood and watched Happosai panicking for a few moments, enjoying the sight of Nerima's most hated man upset and flustered to a never-before seen extent, then Ukyo tapped Ranma's shoulder and indicated they head somewhere more private, where they wouldn't risk Happosai realizing what had happened and stealing the chart back. After all, it wasn't as though such an act was beyond the old lecher. Once they were a safe distance away, though, Ranma wasted no time in turning to Ukyo, his eyes alight with hope, disbelief, and... dare she dream, a hint of admiration?

"How?" Was all he said, and Ukyo smiled.

"I saw it fall out of his vest while you were still completing the spiral for the Hiryu Shoten Ha- you were lucky I move as quick as I do, or it would have been ruined by the wind." She explained, reaching down her shirt and pulling out the chart.

Ranma immediately snatched it from her grip, pulling it open and staring at the diagram with delight. "Thanks, Ucchan! I owe you for this, I really owe you one!"

Ukyo quivered at his words; here was an opportunity too good to pass up! "Then you'll take me on a date?" She asked, though it was really more of a statement then a question.

"Eh?" Ranma asked, caught off balance.

"You say you owe me for getting you that chart, and I did close up my shop to go with you to Yumogi Valley." Ukyo pointed out. "I think the least you can do is meet me at my place tomorrow and come with me to the movies." She stopped speaking and waited; she wanted this, and she hoped that Ranma's sense of honor would compel him to at least repay his debt to her now, even if he wouldn't normally accept her offers. Ranma stared back at her for what felt like hours, and then nodded reluctantly.

"Alright. I'll be there. Now, I gotta go and show this to the old ghoul so I can get this damn moxa offa me!" With that he turned on his heel and ran off. Ukyo watched him go and smiled; it might not be willingly, but at least it was a date. Who knew? If she was lucky, maybe she could make this enjoyable enough that she could persuade him to agree to another...

_At that, Ranma-Prime pulled back from the Eye. He had wondered if there were any timelines where his counterpart started to act better to Ukyo without first needing her to point out what a poor friend he was being, and this was what he had been shown. He wondered how this was answering his question, and then decided he might as well skip to their "date"- he figured it would probably be a total disaster, but he knew it was possible that it had gone all right._

Ukyo fidgeted nervously. Ranma had shown up, as he had promised, and they had gone to the movie theater like she wanted to… and nothing had gone wrong, which was why she was uneasy. There had been no begging/ranting Soun or Genma, no angry Akane, no vengeful Mousse or Happosai, not even an encounter with a wandering Ryoga. Ukyo knew that it was all-too-common for the various crazies in Ranma's life to interfere, so it was only natural that she was paranoid that they would show up and ruin this for her. She was so busy looking over her shoulder that she wasn't aware that Ranma had spoken to her at first.

"What was that, Ranchan?" She asked.

"Which movie do you wanna see?" He asked again. "I guess you'll want to see this one?" He asked glumly, indicating a typical romantic movie with his thumb. He probably couldn't have sounded less enthusiastic if he tried.

Ukyo thought it over; she would like to see something romantic, but he clearly wasn't too thrilled with the idea. There was also the fact that it would be the obvious choice, and so anyone who did show up here was bound to crash into that particular theater. She shook her head deliberately. "No, I don't think so. How about this movie?" She asked, indicating what looked like a science fiction OAV. Ranma looked surprised, but a lot more enthusiastic, and Ukyo mentally congratulated herself on thinking this through. This wasn't any great sacrifice, as, due to having pretended to be a boy for so many years, she had been exposed to science fiction and fantasy stories more intended for male audiences then female, and had grown to like such stories just as much as she did romance, magical girl, or otherwise typically "feminine" works.

Having agreed upon that movie, Ukyo paid for the tickets (Ranma not having enough- he, instead, paid for the snacks) and the duo entered the theater and took their seats. They sat in comfortable silence as they watched the movie, a fairly typical plotline revolving around alien invasion and giant mecha being used to combat the threat. It was saved from mediocrity by the characterization of the main characters, a teenaged mecha ace and his co-pilot/mechanic, a childhood friend whose deep crush was obvious to everyone but the object of her affections himself. Things only became clear to him when she sacrificed her life to save him towards the end of the movie, which ended up giving him the motivation to defeat the arch-villain and his "super mecha". While the relationship and fate of the main characters was rather unnerving to Ukyo, she found herself otherwise enjoying the film, and she was pleased to see Ranma seemed to feel the same way.

When the movie was over, they headed back to Ukyo's restaurant, Ukyo taking the opportunity to walk closer to Ranma, but not actually touching him just yet: she wanted him to be as open as possible to what she was about to suggest. "So, Ranchan, did you like that?"

"Yeah, actually. It was better then I thought it'd be, ta be honest." Ranma replied honestly.

"Not so bad, then? You wouldn't mind going on something like that again?" Ukyo pressed.

"…I guess not." Ranma admitted hesitantly.

"So you've got no real reasons not to come out with me again." Ukyo declared triumphantly.

Ranma stopped where he was and gave her a look, half startled, half wondering if she had all her screws fully tightened. Ukyo didn't hesitate, but launched straight into her explanation.

"Well, you had no complaints with how this turned out, and you just said you wouldn't mind going on something like that again, so what's stopping you from doing so?"

A few seconds of empty silence passed before he grudgingly admitted, "Nothing."

"Alright then!" Ukyo chirped brightly. "It's a deal! I'll tell you where to go tomorrow, okay? See you then, Ranchan!" Unable to help herself, she darted in and hugged him briefly, then turned and ran off, closing the remaining distance between where they were and her shop in record time, feeling happier now then she had felt in… well, since coming to Nerima.

_"Well, looks like things are looking up for Ucchan. Wonder what she's going to pull out next?" Ranma-Prime leaned back slightly and watched as the mirror refocused again on another scene._

Ukyo could barely pay attention in class the next day, having been alternatively looking forward to getting Ranma to come with her on another date, more or less of his own free will, and trying to think up just what they'd do **on** said date. At first, she had wanted to do something normal, like go on a picnic, or maybe a boat ride or something like that, but reality had reared its head and she had forced such ideas aside, admittedly with reluctance. She was pretty sure that she was already pushing Ranma's comfort zone- the last thing she wanted, or needed, was to push too hard and cause him to lose his nerve and run. Beyond that, she was well aware of the risk she had taken simply going to the movies with Ranma- she had no intention of pushing her luck by trying something like that twice in a row. She could say "bye-bye" to any and all ground she had gained in Ranma's heart if her blasted rivals, or Ranma's rivals for that matter, made a mess out of their date.

It was thinking of them that had persuaded her to give the idea of having Ranma give her a sparring session- while not romantic as she'd like, it would ultimately be the most beneficial course of action. Firstly, it would make Ranma calmer, or rather less nervous, then it would if she, say, took him to a nice restaurant for a meal. Secondly, it would allow them to bond just as well, if not more, then a more conventional date would. She wondered if Ranma was doubtful of her own devotion to martial arts, and so she figured it could only help to prove to him that she was serious about them, unlike Akane "Hobbyist" Tendo. After all, how often had Ukyo seen Akane simply wandering around town, or spending time with those friends of hers? From her behavior, and Ranma's own words, it was clear that martial arts was something she slotted into the empty times of her life, not something she based her life around the way, say, Ranma or Ryoga did. Hell, Ukyo and Shampoo were of a similar mindset; while it was true that they spent a lot of time attending to business, they had to in order to survive.

The third reason was the simple fact that honing her skills would be crucial for when her enemies finally tried to interrupt her times with Ranma- the better she was, the better she'd be able to adequately punish them for doing so. The final reason was, simply, a matter of pride. Remembering her first duel with Ranma invariably began pleasantly, as she recalled how she had managed to legitimately threaten Ranma when it had begun... then the memory turned sour as she was forced to admit that she had done so only because Ranma had been interested in settling things peacefully at first, and that **she** had been the one forced to run off with her tail between her legs when Ranma began fighting back.

Having made up her mind, when the lunch bell finally rang, she wasted no time in heading for Ranma, managing to find him eating his lunch in the shade of a tree, alone as he tended to be- well, technically. Hiroshi and Daisuke were there, but they were seated a good distance away from Ranma and watching him somewhat warily. Ukyo wondered for a moment what the story behind that was, then dismissed it as being of no concern- it was Ranma who mattered to her.

"Ranchan!" She called as she approached.

Ranma looked up, and smiled at seeing Ukyo approaching, "Hey Ucchan, how's it going?" He ignored Daisuke and Hiroshi 'subtly' moving away as though expecting something to happen.

"Good, thanks. So, tell me, you know anywhere around here where we can get some good sparring done?" Ukyo asked lightly.

Ranma blinked slightly, "Sure, I know a few places. Why the sudden interest?"

"Remember what you agreed to yesterday? Well, I've been thinking about it all day, and I decided I want you to spar with me. We haven't done martial arts together since I first moved here, and I could really use a partner. It's hard to make any real progress when you're training by yourself, don't you think?" Ukyo replied, trying her hardest to appear totally at ease, having more or less practiced this speech in her head all morning.

Ranma's eyes glazed over for a fraction of a second, and then he nodded suddenly, "Oh right, nearly thought you weren't going to take me up on that. Yeah sure Ucchan, I'll spar with you. When do you want to start?"

"How about we meet at the gates when school's out? You show me the place you think would be best, and we'll go at it. I can afford to close up the shop for one afternoon." Ukyo suggested, deliberately ignoring the lecherous grins taken up by Ranma's two so-called friends as they made an innuendo out of her words.

Ranma shot a glare at the two before nodding, "Yeah sure, I'll see you at the gates then."

The day flew by in a blur for Ukyo, who couldn't wait to take advantage of this opportunity to spend more time with Ranma, and even if it was only sparring then it would also help her improve her skills. Finally the bell rang for the end of the day and Ukyo was a blur as she headed for the gates to meet Ranma and found him waiting there. That was enough to make her pout a little, "No fair, how'd you get here before me?"

Ranma simply pointed, revealing an open window and prompting Ukyo to giggle in embarrassment, "Oh." She turned back to Ranma, "Okay, so where are we going?"

"I know a construction site nearby; high fences, surrounded by buildings, should be a good place to practice without anyone butting in. We just need to stay away from the scaffolding, but there's plenty of clear space." With that Ranma leapt up onto the wall of the school and jerked his head to signal Ukyo to follow him. "Come on, I'll race you there."

Ukyo quickly took off after the pigtailed teen as he turned and dashed off. "Hey, not so fast Ranchan!"

The pair headed through the streets and backstreets of Nerima while nimbly avoiding obstacles and moving above the hustle and bustle of normal city life until they reached the high pre-fab fence that surrounded the construction site of a new high-rise building and the two landed in an open area clear of the scaffolding and the large crane nearby as Ranma swept a hand out.

"What do you think Ucchan? Think we can spar here?"

Ukyo looked over the place with an intense eye, thinking back to her own days of training on the road in places like this. She then nodded decisively. "Looks perfect, Ranchan. Let's get to it!" She said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she lunged in the first punch- she trusted that Ranma would be able to dodge it, and also that she had control enough to pull its force back if she did manage to get the drop on him with the suddenness of her attack.

Ranma shifted slightly to avoid the attack and smiled, "Heh, careful Ucchan, someone might take advantage of that attack." He then simply grabbed Ukyo's arm and flipped her in a basic Judo throw and hopped back slightly as Ukyo recovered.

Ukyo simply grinned back and leapt back into the fray, leaving her main weapon on her back and out of her hands for the time being. She wouldn't gain that much skill with it against a non-wielder like Ranma, and if pressed she would admit that her basic hand-to-hand skills were her weakest point- whereas calling Ranma a master of such things would be rather an understatement.

Ranma dodged another punch and firmly tapped Ukyo in the ribs as he sidestepped, "You're over-extending yourself a little." He grabbed a roundhouse and flipped Ukyo over, "Also, you want to pivot on the ankle and then let the leg carry the momentum so you don't have to work as hard."

Ukyo did as she was told, thankful for the advice. She couldn't help a certain deep, nagging suspicion though... "Do you tell Akane stuff like this?" She asked, genuinely interested if that might be why someone who slacked off so much could retain a higher-then-normal level of skill, even if she couldn't keep the faint traces of hurt (which she mentally kicked herself for) out of her voice.

"Not really, if I tried this with Akane she'd try and send me to the moon. I just try and get her to try and focus past all that anger of hers and maybe actually get the clue that she needs to work on some of her technique...and her speed and accuracy. Half her punches and kicks are wasted cause they're not on target. Nah, this is different cause well, you know...we're friends and all that."

"...I see." Ukyo said at last, unthinkingly stopping dead as she processed the meaning of Ranma's words. Ranma unthinkingly flipped her onto her back while she was doing so, but she waved her apologetic fiancé away, unbothered by such a simple tumble and far more concerned with contemplating this turn of events. If she was deciphering those claims right, then for the first time ever, Ranma's "just friends" attitude towards her was actually helping her. She still had every intention of making him wake up and realize her love for him, but she would tolerate him thinking of her as a close friend for now, if it would help her get stronger. She pushed herself upright, took hold of her bearings, and then returned all of her attention to the sparring- this was the key to her future, and she intended to seize it with both hands.

_"I'm not really seeing how this is answering my original question." Ranma-Prime pointed out, prompting the Eye to fast forward in order to prove its point._

Ukyo quietly leaned on the counter near her grill while watching the few customers she had before letting her mind wander on the slow day she was having and her thoughts soon drifted to Ranma.

Ukyo suppressed a giggle at how well everything was going between the two of them ever since she grabbed the chart and took him out on a date, it was as if whatever cold wall had been between them had melted away into nothing now! He was actually looking forward to her taking him out on a date now and interestingly enough he was starting to pay a bit more attention to her.

Ukyo idly bowed as a pair of customers thanked her for the service and quickly took the orders for another set of customers, expertly preparing the Okonomiyaki without even pausing in her musings. Oh it wasn't much really, just more small talk than usual, sitting with her more often on occasion without wanting free food and perhaps maybe asking for a little help with some school work without having to ask the ever-unpredictable Akane or get his wallet emptied by Nabiki.

Still, it was an improvement in her books and Ukyo was always looking for an improvement in her relationship with Ranma, and heck she was even improving in her hand-to-hand skills as well, so that was a definite plus.

But what got her curious was Akane. Thanking another customer and handing over the change, Ukyo realized that Akane had been unusually silent as of late, but Ranma waved off any questions she asked him, saying that she was just in a huff over something or another and Ukyo had just shrugged and moved on.

'Still though...they haven't really argued much lately. Heck, Ranchan spends so much time with me that I don't think Akane sees him unless its at the dojo.' Ukyo shrugged and resumed her work, 'Ah well, the way that brat hollers about not being Ranma's fiancee, she's probably enjoying the peace and quiet of Ranchan not being around her, I know he is.'

With that happy thought, Ukyo was ready for the sudden rush that prevented any other thought apart from doing business.

_"Okay, now this is interesting, what happens from here?" The Eye obliged and showed lunchtime at Furinkan and the view focused in on a very nervous Ranma pacing near the lone tree as if pondering something to himself._

"Okay, get a grip Ranma! You can do this!" Ranma breath deeply and clenched his fists to stop his nervous shaking; dammi,t how the hell did Ukyo make this seem so damn easy? Still, he straightened slightly and walked over to Ukyo, putting a friendly and casual smile on his face as he mentally went through the lines in his head syllable by syllable so he didn't screw up.

Ukyo looked up and smiled, "Hey there Ranchan! Something up?" Ranma shook his head and took a seat across from the girl.

"Everything's fine Ucchan. Um listen...I was wondering if maybe you aren't busy, that maybe...you and me could go out somewhere today?" Ukyo froze and the nearby girls 'kyaa'-ed at the sight of Ranma Saotome actually asking a girl out on a date of his own volition, the other times didn't count to the school gossip column since it was Ukyo taking the initiative.

Ukyo finally recovered from the shock to see Ranma staring at her nervously, before she smiled warmly, "Of course Ranchan, I'd be delighted!" Internally the girl was doing backflips amidst streamers and a massive banner reading 'VICTORY!' in her head.

"Wait a minute, why have things been going so smoothly for them? Surely Akane figured out what was going on?" Ranma-Prime pointed out. The Eye obligingly showed him his counterpart and Ukyo, sitting under a tree in one of the many parks of Nerima, eating and talking lightheartedly. Ukyo kept looking around suspiciously, and Ranma-Prime decided that here was the point to fully immerse himself...

"What is it, Ucchan? You've been fidgetting for the last ten minutes." Ranma pointed out.

"I have the strangest feeling we're being watched." Ukyo admitted. "You wait here; I'm going to go and take a look."

"You sure?" Ranma asked.

"It's probably those gossipy girls from Furinkan, or, at most, it's Shampoo or Kodachi- and I know you'd prefer not to get caught up with them. With the training you and I have been doing together, I can handle either of them, no problems." Ukyo answered, gesturing in emphasis. Ranma looked doubtful, but remained where he was as Ukyo got up and headed into the trees, beginning to grumble to herself under her breath once she was certain she was out of even Ranma's ability to hear her. She was **not** going to be very happy with whoever it was trying to spoil her date. Stalking through the park as quietly as she could, she was not entirely surprised to find the culprit to be none other then Akane Tendo.

"So, it's you. I figured you'd show up sooner or later- honestly, I'm surprised it took you this long. Alright, so, what's it going to be?" Ukyo asked, brandishing her battle spatula and ready to fight.

Akane shook her head, "I'm not here to fight. I'm just here to see for myself."

"See what? That Ranma has stopped ignoring me and following you around like a dog on a leash?" Ukyo challenged, old resentment mingling with new fear and making her more hostile towards her primary rival then she normally was.

"That he likes you more than me. I didn't believe it when Nabiki told me, but then some of the other girls said he asked you out. So I had to see, I had to know."

"And now you're going to fight me over it, huh? Well, let's get it on!" Ukyo snapped, shifting her stance in preparation to spring.

Akane frowned, "Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm not here to fight." She glanced over to where Ranma was, "The engagement's off, I'll tell him myself and I won't be changing my mind. You win." With that, she turned to walk away.

To say Ukyo was caught off balance would be like saying Ryoga had problems with directions. "Hey, wait, what's that all about?" She cried in confusion. "Are you saying you're just going to give up?"

Visible trembling, Akane was silent for a few long seconds, making Ukyo wonder if maybe she was going to attack after all. Instead, Akane merely turned back slightly, "Dammit, you won and I lost, so why can't you just accept that? You say I'm giving up, then fine: I'm giving up! I'm done, I'm through with all this, I'm not going to bother fighting for him anymore. You have him and I don't, so just accept it."

Ukyo stood there as Akane walked off, utterly silent before she shook her head and walked back to Ranma, trying to figure out what had just happened between the two girls before sitting down next to Ranma, who quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Hey, you okay Ucchan?" Ukyo blinked and then smiled with a shrug.

"I'm fine, just some nosy girls from school who said some perverted things, but I showed them!" Ranma shook his head and Ukyo smiled as the two resumed their date.

'This isn't so bad. Ah, who cares about what Akane was saying; I'll work it out later. Right now nothing can be better than this.' Ukyo turned to say something to Ranma when her eyes bugged out as she felt a set of lips, his lips, fasten onto hers and give her a brief, quick, oh-so-shy kiss. And just like that, Ukyo was staring at a blushing Ranma, her mind barely able to process what had happened.

'He kissed me... Ranma... kissed me. HE KISSED ME! YAHOO!' Ukyo smiled and latched onto Ranma in a glomp and hugged him tightly as he blushed with an embarrassed smile.

'I was wrong, it just got a whole lot better.'

At that, Ranma-Prime chose to pull out. "Well, I guess that's another happy ending." He murmured to himself, looking truly thoughtful. Listening idly to the dying patter of rain on the roof, he began looking over the contents of the store, taking in all of the arcane bric-a-brac that was scattered around. His gaze fell upon a shelf littered with brooches and rings and talismans of all sort, one in particular catching his attention.

"That looks a lot like that Reversal Jewel Shampoo and Cologne have. I wonder… magic mirror? Show me… show me what would have happened... if I had actually claimed that I loved Shampoo, during that mess with the Reversal Jewel." He asked the Eye.

The Eye glittered, and began to play images for him, images that were at once familiar to him and completely different…

_Well, only one last chapter to go. As before, please let me know which of the current serials Gideon020 and I have up in the old brainbox should be the one to focus our attention on, otherwise there's no telling what one we'll pick. To refresh your memories, and the descriptions are in an earlier End Notes, the choices are:  
Chasing The Rainbow (sequel to Another Rainy Day In Nerima)  
Dark Whispers (a Ranma/Kodachi coupling, and a Ranma/Full Metal Panic crossover)  
The Journey (a Ranma/Shampoo Alternate Universe set outside of Nerima)  
Legends of Aeron (a Ranma/DND crossover involving Ranma, Ukyo and Shampoo)  
Ranma's Rewind (a Ranma/Shampoo AU spin-off of Another Rainy Day)_


	22. An Ending, A Beginning

**Another Rainy Day in Nerima**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** well, here it is. I want to make this long, eloquent speech to explain just how amazed I am at where this has gone from such humble beginnings (it began as merely a diversion, after all) and how truly humbled I am that it's received such welcome, but the words won't come. I thank you all.

Chapter 20: An Ending, A Beginning

Mousse's beak dropped; how could this fool of a tomboy be willing to just let the dried up monkey and that fiend Saotome get away with this plan to snatch away his beloved Shampoo? Well, if she couldn't sort out her emotions, then he would do it for her! Thrusting his beak into one of the subspace pockets in which he carried his belongings, he pulled out the Reversal Jewel he had stolen from Cologne- the disgusting piece of mackerel jerky had forgotten to retrieve it from him, an error for which she would now pay. With a muffled quack of triumph, he thrust himself forward with all the strength he could, leaping to the startled Japanese girl and hooking the jewel into her clothes before she could protest. At this, she fell silent, then began to quiver and quake. Mousse smiled as wide and as evil a smile as a duck could make as Akane strained her limbs and snapped her bindings; now she would rush to proclaim her own love for Ranma and ruin Cologne's evil schemes! Triumph gave way to fear as a distinct aura of rage began to form around her, the blazing Tendo turning eyes that burned with cold towards him.

"Mousse..."

_"So... what does this have to do with what I asked for?" Ranma-Prime mused to himself. Then his eyes widened in revelation. "Ah, I get it; Mousse must have slipped up and put the brooch on her by mistake, and as she was distracted by her magic-induced urge to beat the tar out of Mousse, she didn't show up in time to interrupt... I'm not going to like what's going to happen, am I?" He muttered, already seeing the patterns forming._

The view shifted to the Nekohanten and inside the restaurant, Ranma Saotome was wrestling with his greatest challenge yet, one that he was unaware would create a monumental change in his life.

Internally there was a war going on, alarms were screaming inside Ranma's head telling him that this was all another trap for him, while pride busily chipped away at the walls formed by years of suspicion and nerves. Longtime fears of rejection & loneliness pushed him forward, as well as a newcomer to the emotional mess; fear of the Contract his father had made with his mother.

Finally, the walls came down and the words came out.

Ranma stuttered for a while as he tried to say the words, but in the end he finally managed to say, "I love you" to Shampoo loud enough for everyone to hear and clear enough for them to understand just what he had said. Internally, his mind was wondering what the hell had happened; he should have been more than able to turn on the charm in this situation. Hell, he knew he had charm; just look at all those other times, like that incident with the hypnotic mushroom, or when he was engaged to Nabiki. The rest of him was too busy twisting itself in knots over the anticipated reaction to provide an answer.

Though a part of her subconscious couldn't resist a snarky "about time", Shampoo's eyes widened in shocked delight as Ranma finally managed to say the words she had been longing to hear for so long- she had even begun to consider if this might be a hoax, despite the fact Ranma had shown up in a tuxedo (which made him look so dashing) and with flowers (beautiful and more than welcome). She wasn't entirely sure what was going on- her great-grandmother had just told her that Ranma was coming to the Nekohanten to proclaim his love for her (and why did she feel like there was a gap between her saying that and Shampoo's own excitement?) and they had to prepare. Nevertheless, she was more then willing to go along with it, and it had paid off spectacularly, even if the wait had been horrible and mood sapping. True, he had stuttered and stumbled trying to get the words out, and yes, he wasn't as enthusiastic as she might have hoped, but this was the clearest sign of affection he had ever given her- she would seize it and never let it go! She opened her mouth to respond... then froze, partially because her voice failed her, partially because she couldn't for the life of her figure out what to say! She was so overwhelmed by her emotions she had forgotten her matriarch's instructions.

Beneath the tables, the students of Furinkan fidgeted and muttered to each other, bored out of their wits and thoroughly irritated as they waited for Shampoo to profess her own love for Ranma so they could get out from under these tables. A few were surprised that a playboy like Ranma would finally say something that could be taken as committal, but that feeling was blunted by him taking so long to do so. Cologne repressed the urge to curse; what was that foolish great-granddaughter of hers doing? Mooning over her husband was all well and good, but now was not the time to do so!

As Shampoo finally realized that this truly was real, a dark shadow slipped into the doors of the Cat Cafe.

"Oh, is that so, Ranma?" Came a voice, like ice on steel in its tone, cool and leveled, yet fierce enough to freeze the blood in veins and send icy sweat beading over Ranma's face.

All eyes turned to the entrance and there was Akane in all her frightening glory, her aura crackling in the visible spectrum, but her expression hooded and ice-cold. Even her eyes, instead of burning like coals, were hard and cold as frozen stones. The Furinkan students quickly decided that remaining under the tables was for the best and that staying silent would be even better.

Ranma for his part was wincing at the palpable anger rolling off Akane while Shampoo grimaced slightly; it figured that the Tendo girl would show up about now. From her position however, Cologne's eyes narrowed in suspicion at the girl at the entrance.

Ignoring them, still speaking in that icy voice, a tone she had never used before, taking no physical actions, Akane continued, "I'd like to say that I'm horrified to find you betraying me like this, that I'm disgusted that you could stoop so low... but that would be lying. You are truly the lowest of the low. There's nothing too wretched for you to do, is there? Especially for your own bloated ego."

The students all winced in sympathy for Ranma at the harsh words as the person in question flinched as if struck while Shampoo's eyes widened. From her position, Cologne winced while she tried to figure out just what made the usually fiery Tendo girl become this cold.

"Akane, how could you say that!?" Ranma protested.

"Say what? You'll do anything to get what you want, no matter who you have to hurt, or how badly you have to hurt them. What's the matter? Truth hurt? It should. You're just like your father- no, if anything, you might be worse then he is. Your father is a bastard to sate his own wants; you just get a kick out of it." Akane said, leaning back slightly with crossed arms and a disdainful expression. "I can't believe I was ever foolish enough to give you a chance."

"Getting worse?" Shampoo stepped forward at Akane's words, "How Ranma get worse in your eyes?"

"Let's see, how about the fact he deliberately strings along girls, just because it makes him feel like a man? Not that you ever needed the encouragement, you ignorant savage. Ukyo, you, me, even Kodachi; he treats us like dirt and expects us to worship the ground at our feet. And kami forbid one of us should try and wise up, oh no, he's got to move heaven and earth to make sure that things stay the way we are. He likes us fighting over him, he loves the way it gives him a free excuse to look at us naked- the damn pervert gets off on it, feels that it makes him a man, makes him important." Akane stated, cold and emotionless as though she was simply repeating basic facts.

Shampoo quirked an eyebrow, "When Ranma get off on naked girl when he run first chance he get? Even idiots see he too-too shy about that."

It was impossible to tell whether Ranma heard Shampoo's statement or not; he was still visibly frozen in mingled shock and pain from Akane's statements, and made no visible reaction to Shampoo's claims about him being shy.

"That's just what he wants you to think, so you don't get mad and punish him for being a pervert. He can't fool me." Akane declared matter-of-factly. "It's all part of his act; he plays the innocent, and it just encourages you to up the ante, so he can enjoy more and more perverted things from you. But, when his body is so sick and twisted, it's no surprise his mind should be just as warped."

At her words the students under the tables glanced at each other with looks of shock... Akane had always been someone that the others at Furinkan had looked up to. She was one of them, a skilled martial artist, a kind, understanding, generous person. Ranma could be a jerk and a pest at times, but he was generally a decent enough guy, and while nobody was clear on just what the deal was with that curse of his, they did know it wasn't his choice. To hear her berate and slander him for something that he honestly couldn't help having... left a bad taste.

Ranma recovered from his initial shock to form a retort, "And just how the hell am I 'sick and twisted' to you? I don't peep on girls, I don't steal underwear like the Old Freak does, so how the hell did I get so twisted?" The comments were hurtful, but good old pride was coloring Ranma's words at this point. Making matters worse was the fact this was something of an old wound as far as Ranma was concerned. No matter how often he protested, no matter how often she was proven wrong, Akane would never give him the benefit of the doubt- always leaping to the conclusion that proclaimed him a pervert.

"How are you not?" Akane instantly replied. "Bad enough that you're a freak, but you take full perverted advantage of your condition! I can't even begin to count all the times you've flirted with guys just for a lousy extra scoop of ice cream or a free takoyaki. And then there's things like letting that old pervert grope you, or chasing after Kuno, or using it to sneak around with girls who don't know you. To say nothing of how you use it to cheat in fights... not that you ever fight fair, anyway."

"What do you mean, never fight fair?" Both of the other teens protested, outrage in both their voices, very real hurt in Ranma's.

"Don't give me the innocent act, Ranma; it's not going to fool me." Akane mocked icily. "You've never won a fight on your own skill- it's always cheap tricks and treachery that wins the fights for you. You toy with your opponents' heads, dodging around like a bug and tricking them into losing. You play at being a girl to mess with Kuno's head so he won't attack you, and you do the same thing with Ryoga so you can get a cheap shot in... not that the idiot doesn't leave himself wide open." Akane admitted. "But the truth is that you're not a martial artist at all- if you weren't so good at cheating, you wouldn't even be able to beat Ryoga. Kuno is more of a martial artist then you are- he might be a perverted idiot, but at least he fights fairly!"

"Now just wait a minute!" Ranma suddenly snarled at the girl, "What the hell do you know about what a fair fight is? What do you even think it is? You, being able to beat me? Only if I stood still and let you hit me, which isn't a fight, that's just you thinking I'm a practice dummy! Anything Goes means that you use any tactics available to you and that means avoiding getting hit. You...you just punch a bunch of untrained morons and call that a fight? If Kuno wasn't so hung up on you he'd bury you like Shampoo or Ukyo would, and even then he's more likely to be nice about it."

Shampoo nodded and took a step forward. "Shampoo take great pleasure in showing Angry Girl just what real fight is." Her face split in an obvious smirk, barely needing the emphasis of her cracking knuckles to make her point clear.

Akane's aura roiled at their retort. "How dare you...!" She began, only to be cut off by the teens she was arguing with.

"Just who do you think you are, lecturing me about martial arts?" Ranma asked in an outraged tone. "Martial arts are my life. You have a family, regular meals, a warm bed, nice clothes, a stable home- I sacrificed all of these things to hone my skills! Until my old man brought me here, I endured hardships that would break a spoiled suburbanite like you, and I took them in stride. All for the sake of becoming a great martial artist. You slot martial arts into the empty moments of your life- you will **never** become one of us unless you start taking it seriously." Ranma barked, driven to an especially unusual level of anger by Akane's attitude, an attitude that had always rankled him since his arrival in Nerima, like a recurring itch in a spot he just couldn't reach. At his side, Shampoo nodded fiercely in her agreement; sweat and blood and toil were what it took to become strong, not rage and ego and entitlement.

"At least it means I have a life! I have friends, I do well enough in school, and I've got nobody after my head!" Akane spat back, though it was anyone's guess what the final comment was a reference to; Ranma's habit of insulting others, the fact her father was more responsible than Genma Saotome, or even a simple barb to emphasize how much better at making friends she was. Undaunted, she continued. "What did spending all your childhood roaming the wild and learning how to break rocks with your head do for you, huh? Everyone thinks you're some kind of freak! You don't have a single friend, because nobody wants anything to do with a stupid jock who's only good for breaking things!" Akane answered. She didn't roar in rage, didn't thunder; just calmly spoke as if reading facts, yet her words were sharp as any dagger.

If Ranma's previous anger had been a flame, then Shampoo watched as it guttered out as if doused with icy water and she knew that Akane had pretty much cut right to the heart of the matter in one strike. She wanted to say something, to add her own strength to Ranma's side of the battle, but the sheer flurry of verbal barbs thrown had her somewhat off balance, and she knew her own spoken Japanese was best labeled "functional". She kept silent as she tried to figure out what, precisely, to say and how to convey it.

Akane's aura receded somewhat, making her smug, self-satisfied smile all the more apparent. "See? Even these barbaric savages, the only people stupid enough to almost approach your obsession with martial arts, think you're a loser for wasting all your time learning how to fight."

"What make you think we say that?!" Shampoo fumed; how dare this brat call them barbarians! She probably wouldn't even last a day in the village considering how soft she was. To say that Shampoo was livid was an understatement, she was just about ready to tear the girl to pieces, damn the consequences!

"I don't see you stepping up to his defense." Akane mocked.

At that declaration, Cologne could stand no more and slipped out of hiding. While she had entertained thoughts that some of this might be beneficial to her great-granddaughter's cause, this had gone far beyond anything she might have expected. She respected Ranma as a person and as a martial artist, and hearing this novice with an over inflated ego mocking her unofficial student... well, there were limits to everyone's tolerance. But Cologne was unable to fully shake her surprise; what had caused this strange display? While the sheer vehemence of her claims was surprising, even to those who had become used to her explosions of violent rage, of more concern was her behavior. Akane was a fiery person; bellowing, screaming, lashing out wildly with fist and tongue at the subject of her wrath. An icy, almost clinical, verbal vivisection was unheard of- Cologne would even say that retaining such control while angered was beyond the youngest Tendo.

Slipping around behind her, unnoticed by any of the arguing trio, revealed the answer; the Reversal Jewel, stuck to the back of Akane's collar, and positioned in the "Hate" rotation. She had forgotten to retrieve that from Mousse, she realized- the stupid fool must have tried to use it to get Akane to get over herself and come and interfere, only to pin it on the wrong way up by accident. Up to the top of her staff Cologne slid, reaching out and gently plucking the Jewel off even as Shampoo managed to figure out her own barb to throw at Akane.

"What for you hate Ranma? He strong, loyal friend, he never do anything to you!" Shampoo asked emphatically, trying to understand why Akane was speaking such virulent disdain. She knew that she would never dismiss Ranma out of hand like that.

Whatever Cologne had been expecting Akane to say, now that she had removed the Jewel, she had not expected this...

"Hate him? Of course I hate him!" Akane screamed, startling all of the listeners as the familiar fire broke through the ice. Caught up in her emotions, perhaps unaware of what she was actually saying, she continued to spit vitriol. "I've always hated him! I'm trapped in an engagement to my worst nightmare! He's ruined my life, he constantly destroys my home, he's a unbearable embarrassment! Everything would be fine if he had never showed up! I wish he'd just go away and never come back! Maybe then things could go back to the way they're supposed to be!" Akane screamed.

Silence, utter dead silence filled the Nekohanten for a moment before Ranma simply dashed out the door, without a word but Shampoo sensed more than saw Ranma's heart all but shattering at the spite-filled words that Akane had spouted as Cologne shook her head.

Akane's eyes widened as Ranma vanished, but before she could do anything else, Shampoo stepped forward and back-handed Akane's face, everyone wincing as they saw Akane tumble back seemingly in slow motion before momentum caught up and the girl rocketed out the door and smashed into the wall of a building across the road as the teen strode out with all the angry majesty of a tiger as Cologne turned to the people remaining inside the restaurant.

"You can all come out now, and you may as well go home." She sighed softly, looking over the Jewel in her hand and deep in thought about what this could mean. The other Nerima natives did as they were told, though those that left the restaurant didn't go too far, instead hanging around to watch Shampoo, now standing over the obviously unconscious Akane, apparently either unknowing or uncaring of both facts, her own aura visibly rippling and shimmering like the air over a hot pavement.

"You disgust Shampoo. You had wonderful man, devoted man, Ranma never even glance at Shampoo unless want free food but follow you like lost puppy, and you kick him into mud every time. No more, Ranma not yours anymore, Ranma my Airen and you never get him again." Shampoo spat on the ground to show her contempt before stalking away to find Ranma.

_"Enough. I can't take any more." Ranma-prime said tiredly, the Eye swallowing the scene back in the mists of time. "Just show me the how the others started forging their new paths after the status quo got broken." He instructed._

The mood around the Tendo dojo was somber, if you ignored the blatant attempt by Kasumi to be cheerful in the face of catastrophe. The two fathers were arguing in the living room, Genma all but chewing out Soun for Akane's outburst, and the results were predictable.

"Waaah! It's not my fault! My little girl was under a lot of stress, that's all!"

Upstairs, Nabiki simply turned another page in her manga and kept reading. Next-door in Akane's room, however, it was a different story…

Sitting at her desk, holding P-chan in her arms, Akane looked like the sky had fallen on her. And she felt a lot like it as well. Even beyond the intense throbbing pain in her swollen cheek, her heart was filled with such a turmoil of emotions it felt like a lump of hot lead in her chest. Staring blankly out the window, she murmured to herself.

"...Did I really do that? Did I really say such horrible things to Ranma? I can't remember… No, no, I wouldn't do such things! But... why does everyone say I did? There's no way in the world I'd do something so terrible. I'm not a bad person... I'm not."

Yet again she wracked her brains, trying to recall what had happened. As before, all she got was a memory of a rage so intense and focused it burned cold, hate enough to make her shiver in fear, and flashes of faces- Ranma's reflecting pain deeper then any wound he'd received in battle, and Shampoo's quivering with barely repressed rage.

Yet again she forced herself away from the vague memories, hurt and horror and guilt and angry denial her shield against them. Unthinkingly she caressed P-chan, the piglet a welcome distraction from her troubling memories. Forcing herself to try and think of something else, she looked blankly at the clock.

"It's getting pretty late." She murmured to herself. "Ranma still hasn't come home... He's been out late before, and he always comes back. ...But what if he doesn't? What if he's run away, or he's lost, or hurt? Maybe I should go and look for him..." Akane started to rise from her seat. As she did so, however, she couldn't help but recall other times she had gone after Ranma in worry, only to find herself either betrayed or receiving ingratitude for doing so. She scowled darkly and sat herself down forcibly, giving P-chan a rather unpleasant jolt in doing so.

"What do I care if he's out late? It's not like I care or anything- and it's not like he'd ever care either. He'll come back when he gets over himself, like he always does." Akane mumbled resentfully. "Besides, he's got those hussies after him- I'll bet he's probably shacked up with one of them, the stupid jerk! Besides, it's not like I owe the idiot anything... and this whole mess is his fault to begin with. But... maybe, I mean, maybe I should..."

Uncomfortable both with the way Akane's train of thought was heading, and because she was squeezing him too tightly, P-chan let out a sharp squeal. Jolted Akane out of her thoughts for the moment and the girl mumbled an apology to her pet and repositioned him so that he was more comfortable.

She got out of her seat again, then slapped herself on her unbruised cheek. "Stupid, what are you thinking? If you go and look for him, the idiot will think you're saying you're actually guilty! And you're not! You didn't do anything- he's the one to blame for all of this mess. No, I'm staying right here and waiting for this to all blow over, just like it always does."

That said, she flung herself down on her bed and tried her hardest to push away everything- all remaining worries, all nagging guilt, all haunting memories- so she could go to sleep.  
_XXX_

The Happy Ronin did not really match its name well. It was an almost stereotypical hole-in-the-wall; a gloomy, barely-getting-on drinking pit in the seedier part of Nerima. Normally, it would still be open to a few last dedicated drinkers, the kind of people who never spoke and concentrated on drinking alcohol as though their misery could be washed away with that one last cup, but now it was closed. The reason for this was currently snoring loudly on the counter. The barkeep and his hard-bitten staff mopping up bloodstains, sweeping up shattered bottles and smashed chairs, pulling more pointed objects then they had seen in months from the walls... Yes, Mousse had made quite a mess when he had forced his way here and outright bullied the barkeep to serve him a drink, despite the age thing. He had, at least, paid for his purchases, so the barkeep wasn't as upset as he might have been.

"Damn country yokel." Crumbled one cleaner. "Bad enough he beat up on some paying customers, he scared the others off with that blubbering over that girl of his."

"You expect a knucklehead like this to be able to hold his booze, or be able to resist throwing his weight around? Besides, I think they actually cleared out when he started singing." The barkeep commented, shuddering. "Worse then a mule trying to take a leak with its whatsit tied in a knot."

"...How, exactly, do you know what that sounds like?" Another cleaner finally asked the question they had all been wondering, but dreading to ask.

"Don't you nevermind." The barkeep replied firmly. "Let's just get this place cleaned up."  
_XXX_

Ukyo sat in front of her mirror, mechanically brushing her hair as she made ready to go to bed for the evening, and sighed. She had been elsewhere in Nerima at the time of the incident at the Nekohanten, caught up in a mixture of anger and embarrassment and love and hate due to her prior confrontation with Ranma at school, so she had only heard about what had happened second-hand. She had always known that Ranma and Akane didn't love each other, but she never would have thought Akane would say such horrible things.

She had spent all day looking for Ranma, but hadn't managed to find a trace of him. Though a few embers of anger at Ranma being stupid enough to actually try and proclaim love for Shampoo remained, it had been extinguished by concern for him, and a few traces of guilty joy. There was no way in the world that Ranma would consider marrying Akane now, which left the way clear for her. But first she would have to find him... and, of course, she mustn't come off as too overbearing, oh no, that would just make her look as bad as Akane, if not worse...  
_XXX_

"Ranma asleep now, great-grandmother." Shampoo called softly as she finished descending the stairs. By the time she had found Ranma, the pigtailed boy had retreated into a state of semi-catatonia, rather like what had happened after that incident with the Instant Love Pill where Ranma had momentarily fallen head over heels for Cologne. Shampoo had carried Ranma back to the Nekohanten and put him to bed in a spare futon in their upper rooms. Mousse, meanwhile, had been sent packing when he'd finally dragged his bedraggled carcass back, given all of his junk and told never to darken her doorsteps again. Shampoo didn't believe in the slightest that he would listen to her, but it should make him back off for at least a day or two, and that was all she really cared about at the moment.

Cologne nodded, "Good. A moment please Xian Pu?" The elder hopped into the kitchen and waited for her great-granddaughter to follow.

Shampoo obediently did as she was asked, following Cologne into the kitchen and seating herself at one of the chairs they kept there. "So, what is matter great-grandmother?" She asked.

The old woman placed herself on the table and cleared her throat, "I have given this situation some thought and I believe that for the sake of the boy, it would probably be best if you toned down your usual enthusiasm, until he has recovered enough from this ordeal."

A part of her had anticipated something like this, but Shampoo still couldn't resist a tired sigh, then crossed her arms and adopted a resigned expression. "Honorable great-grandmother..." She began, "Is Shampoo infant? Is Shampoo stupid? Then why point out what so obvious to Shampoo? Wicked girl finally give Ranma to Shampoo, but she hurt Ranma too-too much. Shampoo must think about helping him heal first. Then he will come to Shampoo's arms."

Cologne blinked for a moment, and then nodded, internally pleased at her heir's quick and easy assumption of the role she needed to take, "My mistake, but it had to be said regardless. However, there is the matter of the Kuonji girl as well, she will not let you take him so easily I'd wager."

Shampoo shrugged nonchalantly. "Shampoo deal with her when it comes."

Cologne nodded, "Very well, I leave this in your hands for now. But do not hesitate to come to me for aid should you need it."

"Shampoo do. Actually..." Shampoo began, suddenly looking unusually shy and demure, eyes cast downwards. "Shampoo want ask something..."

Cologne nodded with a smile, "What is it you need of me?"

"Shampoo was thinking, when Ranma feeling more like old self, Shampoo take Ranma out to mountains. Do some training there- it get Ranma's mind of Nerima, help him get over things better." Shampoo stated, practically tripping over her words in her hurry to get them out.

"And you would like me to help turn the suspicions of the others elsewhere?" Cologne raised a curious eyebrow.

"That too. Shampoo mostly worried about how you react to Shampoo going off to wilderness for couple of weeks." The lavender-haired girl answered. "Is really best thing to do; mean stupid old men can't find us and try and force Ranma back to Akane. Mean Shampoo can get some real training done at last, stop looking like weakling in front of husband." She looked grim as the memory of how easily Ranma had beaten her when, still under the effects of the Reversal Jewel, they had fought seriously. He had only been trying to pin her, and she had been fighting full out (admittedly without her preferred weapons), and he had still handled her effortlessly! She admired his strength and skill, but finding out just how badly he outclassed her was just embarrassing- no wonder he never paid her any attention!

Cologne nodded her head. "Very wise, my child. You have clearly begun to put some thought into this. Let us continue; we have in our hands an opportunity unlike any we have ever received before and which we may never receive again. Should we succeed, your husband will be yours at last. Should we fail, then I fear he will be lost to you forever."

Shampoo nodded with a serious expression, then switched to Chinese for ease of expression. "I won't fail, great-grandmother, but I will need your help. I have some ideas as to what to accomplish on the training trip but I don't have a set training schedule planned. Also, I'm unsure as to what my goals should be once I return."

Cologne nodded. "I understand. Well then child, here is my idea on what your training should consist of."

And so the pair began to speak at length into the night; first of what sort of training Shampoo would need to be strong in Ranma's eyes, and then the girl's goals upon returning to Nerima in order to snare Ranma's heart once and for all.  
_XXX_

At that, Ranma-Prime chose to pull out of the Eye. He had seen enough to satisfy his remaining curiosity and, sensing his will, the Eye went dark again. Pushing himself to his feet, he cracked stiff joints, then turned and walked in the direction of the door. "Thank you." He called back to Abe.

"Don't mention it. Just don't go trying to use that Eye to make your future for you, alright? Seeing what might have been is all well and good, but in the end, the future is your decision." The sorcerer replied casually.

"I see…" Ranma said, but Abe noted a strange tone in his voice.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"I was just wondering what might have happened if I hadn't come here, y'know?" The teenaged martial artist shrugged.

"Well, you can see that if you want to- I mean, it's only what might have been, not what will be." Abe pointed out.

Ranma blinked, then turned to the Eye, which enveloped his mind without him even needing to speak.

He found himself in a kind of limbo, surrounded by something that couldn't be called "darkness" because that would imply the presence of the color black. From the murk, figures materialized; Kodachi, Shampoo, and Ukyo, each bearing a present and a hopeful expression as a copy of himself did likewise, bearing a single gift in its wrapping. Eagerly they pushed forward, holding out their offerings, but not once did his doppelganger pay them notice, walking past them without even looking at them. Expressions of hope changed to despair and desperation as they wordlessly pleaded with him to turn back, to accept their gift, sorrow giving way to anger as they promptly began lashing out at each other. Paying no heed to this, the other Ranma simply smiled at Akane and swapped presents with her.

The figures vanished into mist and then things began to reform and now Ranma was watching Akane and himself in his girl form, both of them cooking at a stovetop and both of them being watched carefully by his mother and then suddenly he heard Akane's voice in his head.

"I can't believe it, he actually looks like he's doing better than me." Ranma blinked as he didn't see Akane's lips move before the girl glanced sideways at his counterpart who was already working on a second dish, "He's better than me; even though he's not a real girl he's actually a better cook." Akane then started working more furiously, "No way! I refuse to be beaten at this, I refuse to have some...some boy show off that he's a better cook than me!"

The murk shifted again and Ranma was now looking at himself seemingly begging at the feet of a rather beautiful woman, who promptly displayed the reason for his counterpart's attitude by draining the Ki from a nearby student before blasting someone he couldn't make out properly due to the angle but it looked familiar. Then there was a flash showing a pressure point chart followed by the other Ranma now getting his feet with an angry look and ready to fight as the darkness moved to swallow the scene again.

The gloom then reformed into two girls that Ranma recognized, though he hadn't actually met them yet.

"Natsume. Kurumi." He whispered to himself. "So you are coming to Nerima..."

The two girls, standing side by side in battle-garb, their expressions happy, their body language exuding confidence, didn't react in the slightest, even as the murk enveloped them and shifted into a new display.

"Here I am, you ugly lizard! Come and get me!"

Ranma's female form appeared now, leaping and bounding and dodging as a septet of dragons came lunging and diving at her... no, not dragons, merely the heads of dragons. Heads that sprouted like tentacles from a detached dragon's head the size of a mountain. As Ranma's counterpart diverted their attention, however, another figure clambered desperately up the huge main head- it took the real Ranma a moment to realise that it was Akane with her breasts bound and wearing a male uniform, a broom clutched in one hand. Lying almost motionless on the ground away from the danger, his breath making that faint, wheeze-like sound that announced his life was slipping away, was a boy that Ranma didn't recognize... was he somehow responsible for this?

And then the scene changed again and Ranma found himself looking in horrified amusement as his female-form counterpart tried to escape from Kuno and his 'romantic' affections if the look on his face was anything to go by, though what the heck was with the murderous-looking bird on the idiot's head?

Again the image changed; Kasumi, with small horns poking through her hair, calmly going about her daily chores. Around her, however, all of the Saotomes and Tendos stared at her in horror. A whisper drifted through the gloom, though Ranma would be hard-pressed to say if one of the phantoms had spoken, or if all of them had, or even if they had taken turns.

"We've got to get that oni out of her, somehow."

"But how? The only way to do it is to hit her- and who could hit Kasumi?"

"If we don't set her free, though, it'll drain her life and she'll die!"

Ranma frowned as the scene faded, "That could be trouble." Even as he said that, the murk shifted to show a doll sitting on a shelf, and then his father and Ranma fighting near the doll and Ranma breaking it. Ranma was about to comment on that when the scene then shifted to the doll possessing Akane and trying to kill him, first directly and then through seduction as Ranma winced. "Okay, beware the evil doll."

The next scene showed Akane screaming in protest, being held in the arms of an arrogant-looking Chinese man standing astride... a flying boat? A number of other weirdoes were at his side; a tall, fierce-looking armored man with a flowing beard and a trident, two identical twin boys who could be distinguished only by the color of the circle -black or white- on their grey shirts, a big-eared dwarf with a fishing pole, a moronic-looking giant with the build of a sumo wrestler, and some scantily-clad woman plucking on a mandolin. Below, on the ground, the other denizens of Nerima clamored and protested at this abduction, giving chase alongside a strange woman on an elephant as the boat flew off into the distance.

Then Ranma was standing on an island, a giant peach tree dominating the landscape as he watched another set of shadowy figures carrying off Akane… in fact, in the arms of the other shadows, he could also see Shampoo, Ukyo, and... Kasumi and Nabiki? Moments later he was joined by Kuno and Mousse as they made plans to rescue the girls.

With that, Ranma pulled his mind out of the Eye. "Enough, I've seen enough." He said, shaking his head as he tried to digest such scattered mental particles. Curiosity sated, he stuffed the Eye of Zygyg back into his pocket, politely thanked the sorcerer, and then walked out the door. As he headed in the direction of the dojo, he came to a halt barely ten paces later and turned back to the store. Or, rather, to where the store had been; there was nothing there now but a blank, empty, long-abandoned storefront, as though no one had been there for over a decade. He gave a wan smile, bowed in respect to the mysterious sorcerer, then headed for the Tendo Dojo, preoccupied with the things he had seen and thoughts for the future.

_And here we are at last. It's been somewhat lonely, writing what feels like the only Ranma/Non-Akane story on FFN these days, but that loneliness has more than been assuaged by the warm welcome and receptiveness of you readers. Another great project has been laid to rest… so, it's time to decide the next project. I would consider putting up a poll on my profile, as Majin Hentai X suggested, but I don't know how, so this will be the final voting chapter- once I stop getting reviews for this chapter, I'll consider the poll "finished" and set to work on the next project. Here are the choices, and the votes they've received so far.  
Chasing The Rainbow (sequel to Another Rainy Day In Nerima): 58  
Dark Whispers (a Ranma/Kodachi coupling, and a Ranma/Full Metal Panic crossover): 17  
The Journey (a Ranma/Shampoo Alternate Universe set outside of Nerima): 10  
Legends of Aeron (a Ranma/DND crossover involving Ranma, Ukyo and Shampoo): 24  
Ranma's Rewind (a Ranma/Shampoo AU spin-off of Another Rainy Day): 24_


End file.
